simpycurious Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 7 minutes ago, basil67 said: @simplycurious everything I've written so far plus the ability to stand his ground if I get too overbearing or ask too much. But HE might find your feisty side very endearing. Did you ever think about that? Hey, at least you have your own opinion and aren't afraid to voice it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 Funny you should say that, one of the reasons he ditched the girl before me was that she voiced no opinions. It was always "whatever you want to do is fine with me" Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 52 minutes ago, basil67 said: Funny you should say that, one of the reasons he ditched the girl before me was that she voiced no opinions. It was always "whatever you want to do is fine with me" A feisty, fun, assertive woman is very appealing. Good for you Basil. Keep him on his toes 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 6 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: trades you generally only need associates if that Your confusing a college degree with training. You don’t need any official degree for most but you do need hours both in class AND in the field. Your looking at 4 years typically to qualify to sit for the license, then you are still just an apprentice...takes more to become a master. yes I know a high powered general council of a billion dollar + company married to a guy in the trades, they met in their 30s frankly for high earning women that I know it’s more a mans attitude and mind than his job that matters of course a guy with his own plumbing company, a van or two and a few employees can make 200K easy, and that with a 20% tax rate...so if you think guys in the trades are not making money think again I’m not a tradesman but do come from blue collar background so grew up making and fixing things, you’d be amazed how attractive a guy that can fix things is my point more was you mentioned civil servants as somehow more respected...that’s news to me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 @SumGuy is right. When we were building, I found out that one of the apprentices had graduated high school with a mark which would have gotten him in to any university here. But he wanted to work with his hands. Super smart guy with a solid skill set will go far. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 (edited) This is a topic that comes up often.....Guys get confused because sometimes what they are being told about what women like in a man, rarely translates into results...With women its far more cut and dried...A good looking woman with a good body is always seemingly at the front of the line, while the others fall behind... While women(especially the newer generations) like to downplay it, or even suggest it doesn't even exist, true alpha characteristics in a guy are always going to be the main determining factor in how attractive he is to women...When I say true, I mean not in the bullshyt fake tough guy crap, but more the natural born leader type..The guy that other guys refer to as a boss, even though they don't work for him, ..The guys that get respect quietly and confidently...its why often decent looking guys with good jobs go nowhere with women because they do not possess "it"....I have seen this play out so many times in my life, I laugh my ass off when women try to challenge this notion... Also. with regard to looks/body, a woman could be an illiterate ditz or even genuinely crazy, but if she is small framed/petite with great tits/ass, then she will draw tons of men....Even top shelf men...Women often say that a great physique on a man means nothing, well, that's only partly true...A meathead that cant get out of his own way, is a moron or socially inept or lacks any alpha traits could have the best physique in town and struggle...Get another guy that has those traits and physique becomes a huge factor...There are even very small subtleties physically that often have dramatic effects on male attractiveness...While I have never had much trouble drawing female attention, I can tell you that if I am leaner by just a teeny amount., where my facial features become more defined, the level of attractiveness/attention goes way up...Point is, don't let any women tell you that looks don't matter, because for the most part, its not true...I think the grey area here is that a guy that doesn't have good looks can do well with women if they have other intangibles... Women often say that they like successful men, and its generally true, because many successful men are also high on alpha traits....That being said, you will find tons of attractive women drawn to men that are not necessarily successful career wise but again, have those desirable traits....Think of a guy that is a leader of a biker gang/club..I have a buddy that fits this criteria...Dumb as a stump, no money, so/so job, nothing of note to look at, but because he has some leadership capabilities and is head of this half assed biker gang, he gets attractive women's attention regularly... I could go on, but I think you get the point...I think what frustrates struggling guys the most is that the advice many women give, they don't generally follow themselves...And the ones that tend to follow the usual boilerplate stuff, are generally not the women those guys want, so it leads to a lot of confusion and misunderstanding... TFY Edited March 21, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 (edited) TFY, I note your highlighting of TRUE alpha. Problem with the alpha thing is that there are so many different descriptions. One of my girlfriends was complaining about an "aggressive alpha guy" doing road rage the other day and the PUAs are just nuts with their snap judgements of what alpha is. I think there's a thread waiting to happen here.... Edited March 21, 2020 by basil67 3 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 6 hours ago, basil67 said: TFY, I note your highlighting of TRUE alpha. Problem with the alpha thing is that there are so many different descriptions. One of my girlfriends was complaining about an "aggressive alpha guy" doing road rage the other day and the PUAs are just nuts with their snap judgements of what alpha is. I think there's a thread waiting to happen here.... Basil, your GF is describing a "nut job" with road rage. Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 For me: Sex appeal to interest me. First and foremost. Straight sex appeal. That doesn’t even come in the form of ‘looks’ alone. The sex appeal I’m speaking of, comes from his mind. What his mind does to mine. He doesn’t have to look like a studly beefcake. And actually, I’d prefer that he didn’t. Sure, it’s nice to look at a guy with rippling muscles and tattoos. But that is surface attributes only and I look at them like I’m looking at a photo. I can appreciate but I usually assume his mind doesn’t match. Quite frankly, I’m not up to constantly having to beat other women off with a stick either. It’s tiring. There’s a lot of things I can be willing to overlook, if he keeps me satisfied sexually. Because from that, comes my adoration and desire to want to please and keep him. Intelligence An intelligent man can hook me in like no other. I place very little emphasis on looks. I mean barring a big fat oaf, I’m good with a lot. He could look like a regular joe but once he’s hooked me with his mind, he becomes a total fox to me. The sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m not talking about just straight book smart intelligence. Some of those bookworms can be idiots in other areas. I’m talking about emotional intelligence and the ability to communicate interesting points of view. I like street smarts. And being able to see when the wheels are turning in his mind. He catches on quickly to my sarcasm and digs it. He laughs at my jokes because he understands them. After that is loyalty. I need him to be loyal. To defend my honor. To always be looking out for my feelings. To act in a way behind my back, that would make me proud of him in public and able to trust him with my life. Money doesn’t impress me. I can easily take care of myself. Neither does a corporate man. I prefer blue collar to three piece suits and wingtips. Rough and manly. Unless of course the corporate suit and tie also has a kinky side. 😉 Don’t get this confused with wanting a thug or a felon. The thug attitude is perhaps intriguing, but I’m not idiot enough to date a prison inmate. I’m talking about a good solid man with strong alpha traits and a penchant for getting what he wants. But can soften when needed just for me. I’ve already written a book so let’s just say the other traits I would want in a man would be honesty, humor, (this one is very important to me. ) Politically and ethically on the same page to give us less to fight about. Likes to eat, drink and be merry. Laid back. Forgiving. And hopefully someone that would find my quirks cute and endearing instead of maddening and offensive. Someone that lets me get my way every now and again and likes it. But doormats need not apply. I must be able to respect him at all times as the man in the relationship. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 15 hours ago, simpycurious said: What else gets and more importantly keeps your attention about a man? If his username is simpycurious it helps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said: If his username is simpycurious it helps My original post was not clear but the question was meant for you Cookie. Cookie, you are very sweet and quite captivating to say the least. I think by this thread it's easy to see that everyone (male or female) have such a wide variety of things that attract or interest them in someone. I guess variety is the spice of life 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 11 hours ago, basil67 said: @SumGuy is right. When we were building, I found out that one of the apprentices had graduated high school with a mark which would have gotten him in to any university here. But he wanted to work with his hands. Super smart guy with a solid skill set will go far. Basil, success or wealth are not defined by a certain skill set. I know young guys who rarely wear a suit who make more money than their future kids could spend. So many true entrepreneurs often do not work in the traditional 9 to 5 sense which is (IMO) liberating. I guess the moral of this is that you can never truly "judge a book by it's cover." Also, SMART comes in a variety of ways. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 One thing I never did find in a man (no surprise considering the type of men I'm into, creative ones who aren't particularly good at practical matters), was one who was strong as me in dealing with just day to day life and could give me some relief that way. Back then life was a battle, kind of, and I would win it, but it took a lot out of me. And then the one time I did let a man more or less make a decision for me due to being overwhelmed (my apt blew up), it is my one regret. I am really the strongest woman I know, or was back then anyway, and it would have been great to find a man that way too, just to have my back. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 when the dust settles most iintelligent and attracctive women are still looking for a successful and attractive man who makes more $$ than she does 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 7 hours ago, basil67 said: TFY, I note your highlighting of TRUE alpha. Problem with the alpha thing is that there are so many different descriptions. Nevertheless you know it was bound to go there, it’s simple and simplistic and a term with a hundred descriptions, so a fascinating exercise in projection and selection bias. Not saying that many if the traits thrown into the alpha bucket are undesirable. They very much are to various women, but not all, a different mix for different women. just never seen any good use of the term alpha as a shorthand, besides the connotations, it is appears to be a convenient excuse to be an a**hole, or mansplain because women don’t really know there own minds or reasons for their actions Just because someone throws good qualities in a bucket and labels them alpha, doesn’t to me mean alpha is any less BS....especially once that label alpha comes out, it is not about good qualities anymore but wrapping oneself in that label you want some real amusement, go to a PUA site where they go round and round trying to define, then they discover a type of guy who is successful with women but doesn’t fit the definition, so the pull out another Greek letter oh also the contortions why beta guys who seem to be in a fine relationship really are not... of course the PUA will tell you it works because hey they say this guy and gets or got a girl, never thinking what kind, how many would say no, etc. pure selection bias as they discount and ignore the beta guy who achieves the same thing...I mean they couldn’t be lying or fooling themselves, guys that like to reduce women to reflexive objects are insightful and never lie...just telling you like it is (in their head) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 11 hours ago, SumGuy said: Your confusing a college degree with training. You don’t need any official degree for most but you do need hours both in class AND in the field. Your looking at 4 years typically to qualify to sit for the license, then you are still just an apprentice...takes more to become a master. yes I know a high powered general council of a billion dollar + company married to a guy in the trades, they met in their 30s frankly for high earning women that I know it’s more a mans attitude and mind than his job that matters of course a guy with his own plumbing company, a van or two and a few employees can make 200K easy, and that with a 20% tax rate...so if you think guys in the trades are not making money think again I’m not a tradesman but do come from blue collar background so grew up making and fixing things, you’d be amazed how attractive a guy that can fix things is my point more was you mentioned civil servants as somehow more respected...that’s news to me Civil servants also include police and fire personnel or some who opted for civil service with lower pay lime with lawyers. A public defender orcity prosecutor makes slit less than a private atty. if you look at dating sites as part of a profile and screening many will look past or exclude peop,e who don’t make a certain income or have at least a masters degree if they have one . yes random odd matches can occur. That is usually by old fashioned meeting lime through friends, college, or church, or other local social interactions. its rare in online dating. Over the years I have been on other dating advice sites and heard many female responses on income levels or matching education levels matter. i have a masters level education. When I look at women’s profiles I have far less interest in someone who does some jobs orhavejust a HS education level. if I met someone not online but a random face to face meeting things may be different. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 The two guys I know who make the most money, one is an ex who is a VP of a major entertainment company making $200K+, and the other is my plumber. Now, before you poo-poo plumbing, when you're young getting started, yes, you'll be doing the crawling under houses and grunt work and it will be miserable at times, but if you're good and people like you, you can soon hire a young rookie to do that crap for you, and that's what my plumber has done the last 20 years. Oh, he works hard, but he's not doing the worst of it for quite some time, owns a pool and an RV and recently sold his company to a large contracting company run by police and firemen. Now, the VP has to do a lot of traveling. That's not for me and hasn't been for some decades or I could possibly be doing what he is doing, but I opt out of things if I don't like the setup and opt for comfort and doing what I want to do -- hence, I'll never make that kind of money as someone willing to drive six hours every week and be gone a week. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 There are lifer thugs in prisons everywhere getting WAY more female attention than a lot of 'regular" guys on the street..... Yet, people still refuse to believe that there is something to this...Yeah,,I know..."what type of women, right?"...Tell that to the regular schlub guy that couldn't get laid in a whorehouse on dollar night... Laughable alright...😂 TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 (edited) So what if the guy has a lot of money? So he can buy you a lot of things and then what? If he cannot get her juices flowing in other ways, that gets old. So you have a bunch of nice things, but then you may sit up there and start to wonder what life is like with someone you’re actually attracted to and that interests you and you connect with. Money can’t buy that for a lot of people. I’ve known guys who made a lot of money that did terrible with women. Or the women they pulled were pretty meh Agree with k.k. Give me a dude that can support his own lifestyle and is on my level over someone whose only value is their pocketbook any day !!! Edited March 21, 2020 by Cookiesandough 3 Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 Topics like this one get way past personally insulting since, while admitting I have an ego as big as all outdoors, I self-identify as having all the behavioral and character traits that the gals keep listing. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 Money is even further down the list than looks for me. I DO expect the guy to support himself and be financially responsible. But I'm not looking for anyone to spend his money on me. In my experience, men with a lot of money usually are TOO aware of it and it affects how they relate to people. Either they see themselves as being a great patron and expect recognition for it, or they are suspicious that everyone is trying to use them. Not an extra load of baggage I want to deal with. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 (edited) Also 80% of the ones I’ve met/dated with have been really stiff, tightly wound, and/or boring in some way. Edited March 21, 2020 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 Sooo... Lessee if I got this straight... -Guys that are successful and have money are no good....Too boring and stiff and worried about gold diggers. -Guys that are sexy and hot with ripped bodies are imbeciles and it's too much work keeping other women away...so forget those guys.. -"Alpha" qualities just describe guys who are bullies and aszholes, and its just a characterization derived by PUA to get money from struggling low level incels..It's not real.. How do these guys wind up with all the top tier women they do/?? I guess its some kind of magic?? TFY Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 29 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said: Sooo... Lessee if I got this straight... -Guys that are successful and have money are no good....Too boring and stiff and worried about gold diggers. -Guys that are sexy and hot with ripped bodies are imbeciles and it's too much work keeping other women away...so forget those guys.. -"Alpha" qualities just describe guys who are bullies and aszholes, and its just a characterization derived by PUA to get money from struggling low level incels..It's not real.. How do these guys wind up with all the top tier women they do/?? I guess its some kind of magic?? TFY Not true TFOTY (sorry abbreviated) plenty of Alpha Males, with money, fit and are not STIFF.....you can be COOL and have those attributes and still not be a "tool" just an FYI for you Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 There's no one answer that fits all. Of course, there are prostitutes who don't care what a man looks like and just want money. Then there are many women who don't care much about the money because they either have their own or just don't care because they're young or whatever. And there's everything in between. And there's plenty of men willing to buy women to one extent or the other, for a variety of reasons, from chivalry to desperation. You can't make one rule for everyone. I've seen just about every facet of this type stuff. There's every degree of monetary usery on both sides of the coin. One client of mine had a husband on meth who spent all her money on new things like boats and new cars and just ruined them financially. One friend married a very unattractive jerk of a guy because compared to her first husband she married when young, he had a steady job and seemed rich to her. But she had to do everything in the marriage and even their sex life was crap on his end. I've met meal prostitutes who are so poor they'll take up with anyone long enough for free booze or free food. There's lots of those, especially out in the country where there's little employment opportunity. I've seen moocher guys do basically the same thing, latch onto some woman who will cook for him. My dad in his old alcoholic years had both men and women writing his checks to themselves. The meal prostitute was only doing $50 and the man wrote thousands of dollars. He was also a cattle rustler, but they didn't try to prosecute him for this because my dad was too addled to be a good witness. A call girl I knew from an old job told me if someone didn't take her out to eat, she didn't eat. She would go with just about anyone. I've seen a proceeding about a contested divorce where the man had an aging prostitute living with him, spending all kinds of money on her, and the exiting wife was suing him to regain what he was spending on her. This prostitute was tattooed with her pimp number and specialty and everything, and so was her license plate. The man and her were lying and saying she was his hired chef. That is your genuine golddigger, but it's not like he didn't know it going in. There's crooks everywhere, folks. We can demystify the word "golddigger" by just calling them crooks and takers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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