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What do women value in a man?


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HappySenior

I should also add, whenever I would read something aloud that I thought was interesting concerning relationship - books, this forum, whatever. My ex would poke holes in it, or make fun of the author. He respected the counselor we had at first but then when he was asked to change something, decided the guy was "too easy on women", even though we were both supposed to follow the same rules. I finally understood that there was no way he was going to "adapt" to me as I was expected to adapt to him.

 

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Miss Spider
4 hours ago, snowcones said:

Not true.  If the guy is hot and not a wimp, then he can bury his nose up my ass all day long and he can bury other parts in other places too.  I will want him to.

Yas girl 🙏

Edited by Cookiesandough
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simpycurious
8 minutes ago, girlinNYC said:

Honesty and intelligence.

We need to start a thread that discusses qualities/attributes that men look for in women.  I hope that one of them is NOT that the guy can cook. ☺️

Edited by simpycurious
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simpycurious
19 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

Oh and simpy has always been real. He calls it like he sees it!

So do you Cookie and it's refreshing

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SummerDreams
5 hours ago, simpycurious said:

We need to start a thread that discusses qualities/attributes that men look for in women. 

It would get boring after 10 replies being "big tits". 😛

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6 hours ago, simpycurious said:

We need to start a thread that discusses qualities/attributes that men look for in women.  I hope that one of them is NOT that the guy can cook. ☺️

Of course it's a requirement.   I'm not going to cook all the time and too much takeout is bad for one's waistline.

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simpycurious
4 hours ago, SummerDreams said:

It would get boring after 10 replies being "big tits". 😛

Surely not????😛 That was funny Summer.  Never bad thing to have a good laugh especially early in the morning

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simpycurious
21 hours ago, simpycurious said:

So do you Cookie.  One of the above posters can call it whatever she wants "ass kissing", "brown nosing" BUT I think you are extremely interesting, thought provoking, and just plain AWESOME.  So few women are like you seem to be. Never change the lady you are. 

Summer, there are plenty of Good/Nice guys in this world.  I also hope that your sisters and yourself.  I will say this though, you (men) don't get a "gold star" for being a nice guy and being thoughtful.  It's just how you are SUPPOSE to be.  I was fortunate to have two loving parents that are kind to one another, affectionate, and respectful.  

I do think that some of it has to do with the way a person was raised and what they witnessed growing up.  How to treat a woman, how NOT to treat a woman.  I don't think that anyone should stereotype a man one way or the other just because he is nice/kind.  You can be HIGHLY successful (financially speaking), manly (fit, athletic) and STILL be a good/nice guy.  It's about what's inside HIS heart and how he believes people need and deserve  to be treated especially women. 

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Miss Spider
6 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

You can be HIGHLY successful (financially speaking), manly (fit, athletic) and STILL be a good/nice guy.  It's 

about what's inside HIS heart and how he believes people needed to be treated especially women. 

I’m sure you can because I’m pretty sure you just described YOURSELF,  simpy. 
 

 What do guys think of brown nosing women? Hahaha just kidding 

 

Tjank you, though. You are so kind to me and everyone on the board, simpy. You are true asset to loveshack.org!!! 

 

 

 

 

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simpycurious
4 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

I’m sure you can because I’m pretty sure you just described YOURSELF,  simpy. 
 

 What do guys think of brown nosing women? Hahaha just kidding 

 

Tjank you, though. You are so kind to me and everyone on the board, simpy. You are true asset to loveshack.org!!! 

Like I said, you are very special and highly unique Cookie.  I am not quite sure if even YOU realize just how much so.  Unique/rare/special are words that quickly come to mind where you are concerned.  I hope you are well and that you are safe.  You are a precious soul.

 

 

 

 

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Without knowing what either of your friends looks like, I would say that girls at first site probably like the drunk who can't keep a job because he's really good looking and knows how to talk to a woman. Unfortunately, sometimes it's about first impressions. I'm assuming your drunk friend who can't keep a job doesn't tell the girls right away that he can't keep a job and has a drinking problem, does he? They probably don't find out until he's already hooked them. I've definitely dated guys who seem great at first, then, as I get to know them and they've gotten me to like them, do they start revealing their red flag after red flag...

Best attributes in a man: good conversation (that's why it's so much better to meet someone in person rather than online); funny, honest, genuine, good work ethic, integrity, a good friend/father/brother/son. 

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mark clemson

Certain character traits do keep coming up. Think it's only some women who like the "bad boy" types (probably especially if they've ever gotten their fingers burned by one)...

 

On 3/20/2020 at 3:05 PM, balletomane said:

 To that I'd add honest, humble, and with humour that matches mine...

 

On 3/22/2020 at 11:54 AM, FMW said:

There's a difference in "nice" guys and good guys. The guy I'm seeing really HATES being called a nice guy.  He's a kind and caring person, but certainly not a pushover, which I think is what "nice" sometimes brings to mind.  So maybe "nice" needs to be replaced with "good", meaning decent, honest and caring.  

 

On 3/21/2020 at 8:16 AM, K.K. said:

After that is loyalty. I need him to be loyal. ...so let’s just say the other traits I would want in a man would be honesty, humor, (this one is very important to me. )

 

On 3/20/2020 at 7:30 AM, smackie9 said:

Loyalty, honesty, good work ethics, responsible.

 

On 3/19/2020 at 9:03 PM, strawberryshortstack said:

it depends on the woman. I value kindness, honesty, responsibility, intelligence, and confidence (NOT to be confused with cockiness/arrogance).

 

On 3/20/2020 at 5:28 PM, Cookiesandough said:

Looks, charm, and character like intelligence/sense of humor/compassion etc 

 

20 hours ago, girlinNYC said:

Honesty and intelligence.

 

58 minutes ago, Malin889 said:

Best attributes in a man: good conversation funny, honest, genuine, good work ethic, integrity, a good friend/father/brother/so

 

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Honestly, I think the term "bad boys" is relative to who the woman is herself.  I hear more men use the term than women, and when they do it seems to always be negative.  I mean, to a 22 year old virgin, a bad boy might just be a non-virgin.  To a non-drinker "bad boy" might just be someone who drinks.  To an old rocker chick, "bad boy" might be Keith Moon or Keith Richards (lots of naughty Keiths).  And to some, it might mean someone who's a straight-up criminal.  To others, it might just mean someone who's fun in bed. Honestly, I think women who admit to liking bad boys are more or less liking the ones who are fun in bed as their main attribute. 

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2BGoodAgain

i honestly find women don't know what they want, but then again, do men? 

women figure out what they don't want, and usually after a relationship... like men.

women change their minds or react in polar opposite reactions from the last relationship... like men.

so honestly, it flip flops like crazy b/c people in general think if you do something completely opposite from the last person... it MUST be a better decision than the last one. lol.

so some girls go from hunky men to total intelligence, to something in the middle? so do men. :)

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@preraph I agree about bad boys being relative.  Given all the talk about how women go for bad boys, but there aren't that many actual bad boys, I think that a lot of dweebs who can't date call anyone who's not like them a 'bad boy'.

As an aside, I think that JD from Heathers is a bad boy.  Daughter thought he was really hot with that attitude and dress style, but changed her mind when he got all murdery.   So even hot bad boys can't keep a girl if they are too bad.

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On 3/22/2020 at 8:33 PM, HappySenior said:

I should also add, whenever I would read something aloud that I thought was interesting concerning relationship - books, this forum, whatever. My ex would poke holes in it, or make fun of the author. He respected the counselor we had at first but then when he was asked to change something, decided the guy was "too easy on women", even though we were both supposed to follow the same rules. I finally understood that there was no way he was going to "adapt" to me as I was expected to adapt to him.

 

I don't know him but honestly most relationship books are crap. There are a ton of them on the market yet the state of male/female relationships these days is just terrible. If these books actually helped then modern relationships would be in a state of harmony and love which isn't the case. I am lucky to be with a woman who is more into living and experiencing life together instead of obsessing over the relationship all the time.

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3 hours ago, 2BGoodAgain said:

i honestly find women don't know what they want,

I have never been able to list exactly what I want.  But when I find it, I know it's right.   And time and dating has helped me clarify the things I don't want.   I guess it's this live experience which makes me scoff at the people who state with such certainty "what women want"

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simpycurious

I mentioned this previously but a thread about what MEN look for in women would be interesting as well.  Basil, I would envision you having ZERO problem dating whichever men you desire and during said dating CUTTING THEM NO SLACK if they get out of line.....😛🤣

 

 

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SummerDreams
30 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

I mentioned this previously but a thread about what MEN look for in women would be interesting as well. 

 

Why don't you start this thread? :)

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mark clemson
16 hours ago, basil67 said:

@preraph I agree about bad boys being relative.

No doubt that is true. However, I think some women are into actual mean/criminal "bad boys". Lana del Rey seems to, per the video linked below.

And there is the well documented attention some women pay to actual convicted criminals up to and including murderers and serial killers. Charles Manson, for example, has a cute GF (think she's now his wife). And most serial killers get female "fan mail" to the disgust of many in the prison system.

I have begun to think the relationship between women and (actual) bad boys may be somewhat parallel to the relationship between men and "party girls". They (some of them) find them attractive, but many/most are smart enough to know they're not safe (emotionally for men/party girls, actually physically as well as emotionally for women/bad boys). Good for a fling or similar and great in theory and/or fantasy. But not real LT relationship material (for most).

Overall I still like the take from A Billion Wicked Thoughts (although no doubt it doesn't apply to all). "Women don't want a nice guy, women want an alpha male who learns to be nice to them. Women want to tame, heal, or soften the alpha hero 's (or villain's) wild heart."

 

 

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There's both men and women standing in line to have remote relationships with prisoners.  There is no one explanation for it.  I've tried to find a simple explanation, but I've heard both one profiler and one psychologist just say that it's something else entirely, that there are various underlying conditions going on there and various circumstances.  Part of it is fame-seeking, of course, as well as power seeking.  But part of it is just simple mental illness or maladjustment like abandonment issues, intimacy issues, and various other things. 

 

Honestly, I'd compare it to people who only "date" via internet and don't really want to meet.  I think a lot of the same things drive both groups.  Inadequacy, dysfunction.

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2BGoodAgain
15 hours ago, basil67 said:

I have never been able to list exactly what I want.  But when I find it, I know it's right.   And time and dating has helped me clarify the things I don't want.   I guess it's this live experience which makes me scoff at the people who state with such certainty "what women want"

agreed.

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2BGoodAgain
18 hours ago, basil67 said:

@preraph I agree about bad boys being relative.  Given all the talk about how women go for bad boys, but there aren't that many actual bad boys, I think that a lot of dweebs who can't date call anyone who's not like them a 'bad boy'.

As an aside, I think that JD from Heathers is a bad boy.  Daughter thought he was really hot with that attitude and dress style, but changed her mind when he got all murdery.   So even hot bad boys can't keep a girl if they are too bad.

i once vacuum'd a girl's living room... she thought it was ridiculously hot...and i will never look at that closet anytime i got there....she was a friend of a friend who i was helping move in stuff?.... yeah, me... i'm a bad boy vacuum seducer! kekeke.

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3 hours ago, mark clemson said:

No doubt that is true. However, I think some women are into actual mean/criminal "bad boys". Lana del Rey seems to, per the video linked below.

 

It's not news that some people do weird stuff.  But they don't represent most of us.    Re Lana del Rey:  the link didn't work - but videos and music are frequently works of fiction and don't necessarily represent the feelings of the performer.   

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