Ex accepted my friend request?

[Occitanie]

2 months ago I sent her a friend request. I also ended up sending her a message after she told she was up to listen to what I had to say. I didn’t hear from her... nor did she accept or deny the request.

 

Until recently when I noticed that she had accepted it. I had been using Facebook for a while, just not so much this last week or so. 

[kendahke]

what do you hope the outcome will be?

how did you two split up?

[Occitanie]

On 3/26/2020 at 5:15 PM, kendahke said:

what do you hope the outcome will be?

how did you two split up?

I cut contact with her. 
 

To see her would be nice, and then whatever happens from then on. 

[kendahke]

4 hours ago, Occitanie said:

I cut contact with her. 

Why?

4 hours ago, Occitanie said:

To see her would be nice, and then whatever happens from then on. 

so if she came to you talking about her new boyfriend, you'd be good with that?

Find out first if she's looking to turn you into her male girlfriend. You may not want to hear about her relationships.

[Occitanie]

1 hour ago, kendahke said:

Why?

so if she came to you talking about her new boyfriend, you'd be good with that?

Find out first if she's looking to turn you into her male girlfriend. You may not want to hear about her relationships.

I didn’t think the feelings were mutual, so I thought what would be best for myself would be to cut contact and try and move on. Even if I thought it was the right thing for me, it was a really cowardly and selfish thing to do to her. 
 

She did tell me she had a boyfriend a few months ago, and she told me she was open to hear what I had to say, so I told her  and sent a friend request, and left it at that. 
 

How would I find out if she’s trying to make me her male girlfriend? 

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

3 hours ago, Occitanie said:

 

How would I find out if she’s trying to make me her male girlfriend? 

 

By telling her what you want

[Occitanie]

8 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

By telling her what you want

Well I already have. I told her exactly how I felt and what I wanted months ago, when she told me she was open to hear what I had to say. 

[kendahke]

15 hours ago, Occitanie said:

How would I find out if she’s trying to make me her male girlfriend?

by not trying to engineer "friendship" into a romantic situation (a.k.a. being an orbiter). She will be very quick to remind you she only sees you as a friend.

3 hours ago, Occitanie said:

I told her exactly how I felt and what I wanted months ago, when she told me she was open to hear what I had to say. 

If she felt the same way, should would have said that right then and there, not be vague, shine you on/hold you at bay.

That was a really "oh, that's nice" non-committal kind of answer.

Edited March 28, 2020 by kendahke

[Ashley89]

On 3/28/2020 at 9:14 PM, Occitanie said:

Well I already have. I told her exactly how I felt and what I wanted months ago, when she told me she was open to hear what I had to say. 

You are too rational :). Remember, we (women) are way more em emotional than you think and then we'd like to admit. I think she doesn't know herself. She will give you and answer based on how she feels at THAT moment. And that might change in a second... Let her know how you fell, express what you want directly (we like that) but don't push too much (don't be needy, that's a big no) and go on with your day. That's pretty much all you can do imho. Good luck.