Miss Spider Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 (edited) Say “I’m not your friend, fool” Edited March 28, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 1
smackie9 Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 (edited) 46 minutes ago, MissPinkEyes said: This is not about competition and never was. It's about finding a genuine match and connection. Not you being competitive, but what you are being faced with, with others that are on there looking for the same thing. Edited March 28, 2020 by smackie9 1
simpycurious Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said: Say “I’m not your friend, fool” or ...."FOOL, what you think I am your friend" 1
simpycurious Posted March 29, 2020 Posted March 29, 2020 8 hours ago, smackie9 said: As soon as they say lets keep it as friends..that's saying "I will be talking to other women, and may sleep with someone, etc so don't get your hopes up or invest in me...but if you want to you can but I can't guarantee anything." Exactly right....it will be "friend zone" and being competitive is not a bad thing 1
Luna66star Posted March 30, 2020 Posted March 30, 2020 This guy is pulling the wool over your eyes! Just friendship? C'mon. No guy who is talking sex wants to be platonic. If it was truly platonic, he wouldn't mention sex talk at all. He's probably married or otherwise attached and is making it crystal clear that you two wont be meeting up anytime soon. So he's saying dont get your Hope's up. He's a scaredy cat. But likely he gets himself off with your sexual banter back and forth. It's safe and no risk for him!
MissPinkEyes Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 (edited) On 3/30/2020 at 3:10 AM, Luna66star said: This guy is pulling the wool over your eyes! Just friendship? C'mon. No guy who is talking sex wants to be platonic. If it was truly platonic, he wouldn't mention sex talk at all. He's probably married or otherwise attached and is making it crystal clear that you two wont be meeting up anytime soon. So he's saying dont get your Hope's up. He's a scaredy cat. But likely he gets himself off with your sexual banter back and forth. It's safe and no risk for him! Ok guys thank you for all your replies. So yesterday he went to his ex house to drop off his kids that stayed with him for the weekend, and he basically had to drive past mine on his way back. He asked previously if I would like to meet up just for a few minutes and from a safe distance (because of the virus) just for us to meet personally and I said yes. Then yesterday he took his kids and returned back to his home and... said nothing about meeting up. Then when he returned home he says to me that when he mentioned that we are just friends, that he was trying to protect me! Because we have never met and we might not have any empathy or attraction when we do. So he doesn't want to say he likes me and it's this or that before we meet. I understand that, but then we had a chance to meet and he didn't want to!? Also, he mentioned before he met other women in the past who were pis*** off when they met and he said he just wants friendship, so there's a pattern here. I feel he is hiding behind this friendship talk and is not to protect me, but to protect himself. Last week I also mentioned for us to talk on the phone and he ignored it. There's something weird. Or either he is married, have a girlfriend or just emotionally unavailable and getting his online dose of feminine energy and attention, I don't know. But I am going to be honest with him and ask directly what's going on. To me what worries me is not to create expectations and then meet and don't feel anything for him or him for me. Well, that's life! To me what worries me is that he is not available for whatever reason and I'm just wasting my time. So gonna ask him directly. Edited March 31, 2020 by MissPinkEyes
stillafool Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 On 3/21/2020 at 2:15 PM, miss2017 said: You are absolutely right! But as I said, to me it was just banter, nothing else. Or just some flirting. It doesn't mean promise of sex when we meet in any way shape or form. Friendship only it is now. Here you too call it just "friendship" so I don't know why you are so hung up on that word. TBH, you two aren't even friends yet, just acquaintances. 1
MissPinkEyes Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, stillafool said: Here you too call it just "friendship" so I don't know why you are so hung up on that word. TBH, you two aren't even friends yet, just acquaintances. Yes I did say that, but it's clearly not. He is the one who is so hung up on that word, not me. I didn't label it anything, he did. He keeps repeating it over and over again like a scared cat, which is weird. Edited March 31, 2020 by MissPinkEyes 1
preraph Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 There's a word for scared cats. Don't waste any more time on this guy, seriously. 1
stillafool Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 1 hour ago, MissPinkEyes said: Yes I did say that, but it's clearly not. He is the one who is so hung up on that word, not me. I didn't label it anything, he did. He keeps repeating it over and over again like a scared cat, which is weird. I meant as it relates to this thread.
stillafool Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 1 hour ago, MissPinkEyes said: Yes I did say that, but it's clearly not. What is it then?
MissPinkEyes Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 (edited) 19 minutes ago, stillafool said: What is it then? Well we met on a DATING site, not a FRIENDSHIP site, so it should be at least dating or getting to know each other like that, not a platonic friendship. Edited March 31, 2020 by MissPinkEyes
stillafool Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 (edited) Isn't everyone just friends or acquaintances when they first start seeing each other until they actually date and decide if they want to be more? Edited March 31, 2020 by stillafool
MissPinkEyes Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, stillafool said: Isn't everyone just friends or acquaintances when they first start seeing each other until they actually date and decide if they want to be more? Absolutely. Do you have to keep repeating yourself over and over again to the other person that you are just friends and might not be anything else than that, when the other person didn't even ask? Absolutely not. Edited March 31, 2020 by MissPinkEyes
stillafool Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 What would you prefer he calls you until you become more than friends?
MissPinkEyes Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 1 hour ago, stillafool said: What would you prefer he calls you until you become more than friends? I don't think you got my point. The problem is not with calling each other friends. My problem is we already established we are just friends for now, why does he keep bringing that up over and over again, when I didn't ask him anything about it? I don't get it.
stillafool Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 On 3/21/2020 at 1:33 PM, miss2017 said: I was just being myself and enjoying the conversations with him and now I just feel stupid and I'm the one who is going to step back now. Any advice? Thank you. I don't see why you feel stupid about it. I don't see where you were more forward than him with the sexual banter. You are right to dial it back and not banter with him again. I would just start treating him as a friend while still keeping my options open for other men.
basil67 Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 (edited) 21 minutes ago, MissPinkEyes said: The problem is not with calling each other friends. My problem is we already established we are just friends for now, why does he keep bringing that up over and over again, when I didn't ask him anything about it? I don't get it. Not all human actions are logical. There's probably nothing to 'get' other than he's a fuss pot. Edited March 31, 2020 by basil67
MissPinkEyes Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 21 minutes ago, stillafool said: I don't see why you feel stupid about it. I don't see where you were more forward than him with the sexual banter. You are right to dial it back and not banter with him again. I would just start treating him as a friend while still keeping my options open for other men. Great advice!
MissPinkEyes Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 (edited) 40 minutes ago, basil67 said: Not all human actions are logical. There's probably nothing to 'get' other than he's a fuss pot. lol Oh and I forgot to mention, he had his kids over last weekend, and yesterday he drove them back to his ex's house, and had to pass where I live. Earlier yesterday he asked if I wanted to meet up on his way back home when he passes my house, just to say hi even from afar (because of the social distancing), and I said yes ok. So later on he took his kids, drove back to his home and said nothing to me about meeting. This is not normal at all. Edited March 31, 2020 by MissPinkEyes
Luna66star Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 Very unusual for a man to emphasize "friends" so much from the start. Isnt it a given in most situations that you progress from friends & then a relationship? Something is up with this guy. He is doing it for a reason. I highly suspect he is hiding something - like a relationship with someone else. And he's terrified you will find out about it. You are a distraction that's all. He's keeping you at arm's length for a reason!
Author miss2017 Posted March 31, 2020 Author Posted March 31, 2020 (edited) 51 minutes ago, Luna66star said: Very unusual for a man to emphasize "friends" so much from the start. Isnt it a given in most situations that you progress from friends & then a relationship? Something is up with this guy. He is doing it for a reason. I highly suspect he is hiding something - like a relationship with someone else. And he's terrified you will find out about it. You are a distraction that's all. He's keeping you at arm's length for a reason! I find all this very weird too and don’t feel he is going to tell you the truth. You’re smelling something is not right so please trust your intuition regardless of what his reasons are. If you can step back from talking to him much. Focus on yourself during this time, doing things you enjoy, and even talk to other guys so you don’t get too attached to him. Edited March 31, 2020 by miss2017
Realitysux Posted April 13, 2020 Posted April 13, 2020 On 3/31/2020 at 9:55 AM, MissPinkEyes said: Ok guys thank you for all your replies. So yesterday he went to his ex house to drop off his kids that stayed with him for the weekend, and he basically had to drive past mine on his way back. He asked previously if I would like to meet up just for a few minutes and from a safe distance (because of the virus) just for us to meet personally and I said yes. Then yesterday he took his kids and returned back to his home and... said nothing about meeting up. Then when he returned home he says to me that when he mentioned that we are just friends, that he was trying to protect me! Because we have never met and we might not have any empathy or attraction when we do. So he doesn't want to say he likes me and it's this or that before we meet. I understand that, but then we had a chance to meet and he didn't want to!? Also, he mentioned before he met other women in the past who were pis*** off when they met and he said he just wants friendship, so there's a pattern here. I feel he is hiding behind this friendship talk and is not to protect me, but to protect himself. Last week I also mentioned for us to talk on the phone and he ignored it. There's something weird. Or either he is married, have a girlfriend or just emotionally unavailable and getting his online dose of feminine energy and attention, I don't know. But I am going to be honest with him and ask directly what's going on. To me what worries me is not to create expectations and then meet and don't feel anything for him or him for me. Well, that's life! To me what worries me is that he is not available for whatever reason and I'm just wasting my time. So gonna ask him directly. I do it all the time! We're just friends or I'm not hitting on you but and it's to protect myself. I don't want men to think I like them.
Redhead14 Posted April 14, 2020 Posted April 14, 2020 On 3/21/2020 at 1:47 PM, miss2017 said: You're right. I just don't understand why he started the sex conversation then. If is just friendship, he could have just not initiated that kind of talk. Anyway thank you to him for letting me know. Are you saying that because a guy is talking about sex with a woman, that means he more serious about you??????? C'mon, sweetie. Online, especially, guys will talk sex with a woman if she tolerates it. This guy doesn't want to date, he just wants someone to help him get his rocks off. He has no intention of dating you or having a serious relationship.
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