RILEY82 Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 (edited) I moved in to a flat (I have a decent job) I am saving to buy a flat the guy who owns it is looking to sell it. My brother is 45 and wants me to move out the flat and buy our parents house where he lives (my father is ill) i can’t live with him as he is controlling I am 37 and when I lived there I would get interrogated where I’m going who with sometimes he wouldn't let me go out if you don’t do as he says he physically attacks you. One time he followed me home and sat outside early hours of morning he grabbed me and said I’m taking you home. What to do? I’m scared to tell my friends as they will laugh at me at least 4 times he has attacked me since 2001 he makes my mother go to get him a McDonald’s every Saturday a few months ago I said to her you don’t have to go he went crazy and attacked me Edited March 22, 2020 by RILEY82 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 you need to call the police 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 Has your brother been diagnosed with a mental illness? Is he on medication? Does he hold a job? Does he see you as a financial anchor for his life that he doesn't want to get away? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 This is crazy. I love my brother and talk to him everyday. How does this happen between siblings? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 Have him charged with assault if he ever hurts you again, and follow it through to a conviction, and then take out a court order keeping him away from you. He obviously has mental health problems and should be assessed. Sounds like your mother is a huge part of the problem, pandering to him. Just don't move in with him whatever you do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 Let's first take your brother out of the equation. After all, if you buy the house, you can serve notice for him to leave. Now, if this house has just your parents and you in it, would you want to buy it or not? You've written about your father's trying behaviour in the past and I'm not sure if it would be a situation you'd want to be in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 how the hell are you gonna sleep in the same house as him? wth? no. never. not gonna happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
maintainsub Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 Sounds like your brother has a problem. There's no way you should live with him, but you also gotta do something, considering your parents are with him. I mean, how old is he? 45?! A counseling, maybe? The police? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RILEY82 Posted March 28, 2020 Author Share Posted March 28, 2020 I just can’t buy the house and move back there. As I can’t go through all that again. Plus I’m too old to live there I feel. Where as my brother is putting me under pressure to. When I did live there it was awful he would interrogate me when I went out where you going when are you back? Who with? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RILEY82 Posted March 28, 2020 Author Share Posted March 28, 2020 On 3/24/2020 at 4:33 AM, MsJayne said: Have him charged with assault if he ever hurts you again, and follow it through to a conviction, and then take out a court order keeping him away from you. He obviously has mental health problems and should be assessed. Sounds like your mother is a huge part of the problem, pandering to him. Just don't move in with him whatever you do. He gets angry and has said to me before he will throw our parents out the house if they don’t do as he says. Then says it’s his house but it’s their house. He has said to me before he will throw me out of my flat as it’s his when it’s mine. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 On 3/28/2020 at 10:03 PM, RILEY82 said: He gets angry and has said to me before he will throw our parents out the house if they don’t do as he says. Then says it’s his house but it’s their house. He has said to me before he will throw me out of my flat as it’s his when it’s mine. OK, he has a problem with reality - it means nothing to him. You need to have this behaviour assessed by a psychologist because it sounds like what is politely termed a "personality disorder", ( just a nice way of saying the person is so f---ked up that they can't interact peacefully or positively with other people). I suggest that you go off and speak to someone qualified to make the call on his state of mental health, and they would probably recommend ceasing all contact with him immediately. Your parents will have to look out for themselves, (personality disorders come from the way we're raised, so they now have to deal with the monster they created), you should just make sure that you have very limited contact with Crazy Brother and like I said, get a court order to keep him out of your flat, etc. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 I am so sorry you have a crazy brother. You do need to call the police on him the next thing he does. And you just need to tell him no way to living with him. Tell him know over the phone and tell him it's not ever going to happen. And if he ever lays a hand on you again or tries to basically kidnap you, you call the police on him! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 Yeah, you are not moving in with them. Stay independent, keep your own place. Don't go see your brother. Don't speak to him. If he comes around you and does anything to you, call the police on him immediately and press charges. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 You grow up in a certain vibe and patern. Often the patern your parents think is best. But once you older you wake up and also go have your own life. You still holding on what they made you think and you thought was your role as sibling and son. To make people respect you and understand you gotta do deferent and stick to it. Which you already done!Very good!,You got your own place and looking to buy it. Your dad is probaly mentally ill. Dont get intimidated. Stand up for yourself in a assertive way. Let him know how his behaviour effects you.And same for your brother. If he wanna buy the house let him do it,he have no say over you. Why would you buy your dads house? Your brother and parents can buy the home since they live there and so into it. Dont let toxic family run your life and mess you up for second time.If they on bs still after you adressed them assertively, just keep them on a distant. And tell your closest good freinds.They can help you break away from this abusive cicle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 On 3/28/2020 at 1:03 PM, RILEY82 said: He gets angry and has said to me before he will throw our parents out the house if they don’t do as he says. Then says it’s his house but it’s their house. He has said to me before he will throw me out of my flat as it’s his when it’s mine. He is mentally ill. maybe its time to call help for him. And how your dad stand up against you but wont do it to him who abuse them in their home 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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