Jump to content

Grieving the loss of a relationship during a pandemic


Recommended Posts

Cassandra B

Hi. My ex partner and I were together for five years. We own a home together and have a blended family (I have two, he has two). Our children are close friends. He has been an excellent step-father to my children. He entered AA four years ago. I'm very proud of him as I know it wasn't easy. During his recovery a lot of emotions surfaced that he had previously drank to suppress. These emotions came out towards me and I reacted very poorly. The relationship turned toxic. I have a great deal of shame over my part although that doesn't excuse his. He also has bipolar disorder. He's was diagnosed 20 years ago and was on lithium until this January. The medication was causing kidney damage so he switched to another bipolar medication. He's been hypo-manic since early February. Four weeks ago he ended our relationship during a counseling session. It was devastating. He told me he would buy me out of the home and asked that I move out in two months. I fell to pieces. I was abandoned by my mother and family as a child; this event brought all that raw emotion to the surface. I ended up in the hospital for ten days and am currently on a leave of absence from work. 

The day after I got out of the hospital he flew to Florida for a vacation. I drove him to the airport. He kissed me goodbye and told me he loves me. It was confusing. When he returned he told me that he didn't know what the right thing to do was and that he didn't want to "shut the door". He then hugged me anytime he would leave the house or before going to bed (we are sleeping separately). All this has been over the past two weeks. He as going to move out when he returned from Florida but has decided not to due to the pandemic. He's been flirtations with other women (hypo-manic behavior) and the past 24 hours extremely cold towards me. I feel like there's no sense of closure, no comfort, no peace....just a wound that keeps opening up every time he's cold or distant. One minute he says he's conflicted the next he says he's done. I'm crushed. I want to spare my kids the pain of losing him, I don't want to lose him but then I don't deserve to be treated with such reckless disregard either. Any thoughts on how to navigate would be very appreciated!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Supernova11

Is there really nowhere else he can move to? Have all options for him moving out been exhausted because this is by far the thing that will make all the difference.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree that you two need to separate and heal.  I don't think you can do this together.  If he is openly flirting with other women in front of you it seems he's moved on emotionally just not physically.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...