JiltedJane Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 In the past few months of Online dating , I’m finding a lot more issues than in the past. Approaching 35 😕 For starters, most just want sex, but that’s to be expected. next, I’m getting stood up or cancelled at the last possible second. By at least 2/3 of the people I. Talk to. Idk if it’s because of the age group or what. Most men now are divorced and just seem jaded or done. the other upsetting thing is being trolled by men. I’ve had several men accuse me of being crazy or having something wrong with me for having my life together but never married. This is both online and in person. I just got done chatting with a man who told me I need to accept the fact ill never get married and my time has passed. Literally the first thing he messaged me. I had a similar thing happen to me on a date a few months back by a guy in his mid 40s. my cousin told me that I’m going to have to expect this. A woman of my age who’s Attractive, has it together, and chronically single is only going to raise suspicion of craziness. is this something that other people in my position experience?! Any advice for meeting someone nice in my “geriatric” state? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ccas93 Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 (edited) There are some cool people in the world of OLD, but far more duds that you're going to have sift through. While I'm not going to sit here and preach "see, you should meet people IRL" given that I like to use dating apps myself, get ready for a barrage of idiots, flakers, and incredibly rude people that apparently never learned proper treatment of others, before you find those several good people worth meeting. I fully admit I've become a bit jaded through my experiences, but I'm not going to treat online strangers badly just because I can. Edited March 23, 2020 by ccas93 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 (edited) It appears to be a common thing that men troll women, going out if their way to tell them like it is. At least so I hear from women. It’s best to not even engage and just block I’m told. After all trolls just want to be fed. As to being almost 35 and single, doesn’t raise any red flags with me. There is a huge demographic that doesn’t get married until 30-35. Also, who needs those judgmental and insecure guys. Edited March 23, 2020 by SumGuy 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 Just remember that people who gratuitously go around tearing down other people actually have very low self-esteem and it gives them a temporary feeling of superiority to tear you down. The feeling is fleeting so they just keep doing it. It's called leveling. They try to make themselves feel bigger by making you feel smaller. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 Here back when it wasn't actually too bad. met some really decent women , but l was extremely selective and there was plenty of screwballs on there but they were easily spotted just in how they talked on their page. Are you being selective enough ? As far as 35 never married l dunno , think l'd be cool with it supposing l was in that range , 50s now . l met a few women later 40s never married. l mean l'd soon pick it if there was a reason so l just kept an open mind bc l do believe in just unlucky in love too yet if she was to still finally meet mr right she'd be fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 You’ve stated in the recent past you have chronic depression that is severe enough for people to notice. I would guess thAt if you feel that way, even if you put a smile on your face people will something “off” or fake. Not saying depressed people can’t date, but I have to assume the gloominess has something to do with your struggles in many areas in your life, including dating. I think you also said that you have pattern of getting into abusive or otherwise unhealthy relationships(please forgive me if I’m wrong). If that’s the case it’s all probably going to keep being a circle unless you seek help to break that pattern and work through your negative thoughts. Most people wouldn’t entertain these abusive people for a second .... 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JiltedJane Posted March 23, 2020 Author Share Posted March 23, 2020 9 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: You’ve stated in the recent past you have chronic depression that is severe enough for people to notice. I would guess thAt if you feel that way, even if you put a smile on your face people will something “off” or fake. Not saying depressed people can’t date, but I have to assume the gloominess has something to do with your struggles in many areas in your life, including dating. I think you also said that you have pattern of getting into abusive or otherwise unhealthy relationships(please forgive me if I’m wrong). If that’s the case it’s all probably going to keep being a circle unless you seek help to break that pattern and work through your negative thoughts. Most people wouldn’t entertain these abusive people for a second .... Even when you just talk online though? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 23 minutes ago, JiltedJane said: Even when you just talk online though? Certainly not. I wouldn't tolerate an abusive person for a moment and knowing me I would give it back. Why do you talk to men who talk to you that way? 19 hours ago, JiltedJane said: I just got done chatting with a man who told me I need to accept the fact ill never get married and my time has passed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 41 minutes ago, stillafool said: Certainly not. I wouldn't tolerate an abusive person for a moment and knowing me I would give it back. Why do you talk to men who talk to you that way? He has ZERO right to say that your "time has passed." To be candid, he is "as...." for even saying something like that in the first place. Don't even give that "tool" a second thought. You control your own destiny not this dude. Any man that is degrading to women is generally a very WEAK and PETTY man in my book. JJ (cute nickname), you can do whatever you want to with your life and certainly your dating life. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JiltedJane Posted March 24, 2020 Author Share Posted March 24, 2020 I already blocked and reported him. i did ask where he got off saying that to me and he just said “ I believe in honesty. And I feel like a lot of people aren’t honest on here “ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 Yeah, the world according to a troll. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 34 minutes ago, preraph said: Yeah, the world according to a troll. Just don't let the troll win. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 If you're engaging with them, they're winning, because they like negative attention even better than positive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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