Insight on why young girls like older guys

[Blind-Sided]

Hi all,

A couple months ago, I made a post asking why younger girls like older guys. That post was inspired because ever since my divorce, the majority of the girls I was introduced to were at least 8~10 years younger than me... and one was around 20 years younger. (FYI the exW was 8 years younger) This is just a little follow up on that thread.

Anyway... the one girl who is significantly younger than me, has been getting closer to me.  She is sweet, and kind... and incredibly cute. There is no questions on why I am attracted to her... but I have asked her several times what does she see in an old fart like me.  There have been several times that she said I'm cute (but I'm not) but I've heard "Handsome" more lately.  And, that... I can understand. I generally dress nice, but I'm comfortable in jeans and T's. When we have hung out with her friends, and went bowling... I wasn't out of place, and blended in (including a camo ball cap)... but when we have gone out... I'm wearing something more "Adult."

In the last few weeks... I can tell she has completely fallen for me... and to be honest... I have some very strong feelings for her. Because of that, the conversations have changed a little, and they have become deeper. She has told me that several of her past BF's have just been immature, and were just looking to be physical. While that is fun, it's not sustaining.  Also... I know her folks, and I wouldn't have expected this... but she told me about how her and her father never saw eye to eye.  She even told me how he wouldn't talk to her for almost a month after she got a simple tattoo on her foot.  She has also told me that... "I am perfectly happy just sitting quiet on the couch, and watching movies. When I'm with you, I feel that nothing can hurt me, and nothing can go wrong."

So... there it is.  This reflects to many of the comments made on that old post... but the reality is... she is looking for the stability, and confidence that comes with being older.  (And I think that probably goes for the other girls I've been talking with) Oh... and as a final FYI... I was really trying to keep this in the "Friend Zone" just because of the age spread... but I'm sure this will progress just because of the feelings involved.

Let me know if you think that's the case, and if you have any other insight on this.

Edited March 23, 2020 by Blind-Sided
spelling

[stillafool]

I don't know why some younger women like older guys or why some younger men like older women.  But, if it's working for you guys and you're happy just go for it and not worry about it.

[elaine567]

45 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

she told me about how her and her father never saw eye to eye. 

Daddy issues.
She is trying to "fix" the poor relationship with her father by latching on to you.
The approval, support, love and understanding that he failed to give, she is looking to you to provide.
Unfortunately with many of these tactics to solve family issues, it goes wrong when they realise they cannot fix the core problem with the parent by putting someone else into the role.
A bit like a rebound, one day they wake up.
They then realise "This person is NOT my father, his approval and love is not the approval and love of my father, I still have a huge hole where my father should be... who really is this older guy?"
Safe secure and fatherly, can then become predictable, boring and not on the same wave length. 
It can spark the same tensions and reactions that she experienced with her father.
History repeating.

[PRW]

Quote

A couple months ago, I made a post asking why younger girls like older guys. That post was inspired because ever since my divorce, the majority of the girls I was introduced to were at least 8~10 years younger than me...

Hypergamy. 

They seek security, stability, and hopefully good genes.  Guys their own age act like children or like lost puppies that follow them around and make their their new mommy.

[stillafool]

I think most young people act immature, both women and men, so there's no surprise there.  You're only young once and should act your age.  I'm disturbed when young people act too mature.  They grow old too fast.  I'm also seeing this in children which is somewhat creepy.

[SummerDreams]

Generally when I see a person acting and behaving more or less than their age, I assume there are some issues and not only that, but also that the age they are currently missing (willingly or not) will eventually come to haunt them. It's very common that young people get in relationships early, they get married and have kids while they should be in school or college studying and having fun, and when their kids grow older they realize they've lost a phase in their lives and they want to experience it. There's a reason all ages have a different phase, it's because during these separate phases people learn things and mature. If you skip a phase, then you never have the experiences from that phase.

When I was young I did have a crush with a very older man and eventually we had a relationship that lasted for years. I do call him my mentor because he taught me many things while my father had left the house at 18 and never cared for me. I was clearly searching for a father figure and I have to admit he was the best father figure I could have found. Now I don't regret those years but sometimes I wonder what could have been if I had a normal relationship with someone my age.

So OP what I want to say is, I think that this woman, sooner or later, will go back to what her nature is asking and that is to be with someone closer to her age. Not that there haven't been long time relatiships and marriages with people who had a big age difference but i find that there is some kind of pathology in them. I mean, look at the French Prime Minister and his wife; they are trying to say that this relationship is normal but I don't buy it, there are many psychological problems both have. I mean, it's working for them for now, but what happens in the future?

[Blind-Sided]

3 hours ago, elaine567 said:

Daddy issues.......
...........
A bit like a rebound, one day they wake up.
......

Well... that's part of my fear with a relationship like this. At this point... it's not a real worry... it's just having fun.  But, if it would develop... what would happen in 10 years?  I would be approaching 60, and she would still be late 30's.  BUT... on the other hand... she's not a "kid."  She has a good job, and has her own house.  But... I know a couple women who are trying to reclaim their youth... and they are destroying family's because of it.

Edited March 23, 2020 by Blind-Sided

[SincereOnlineGuy]

11 hours ago, Blind-Sided said:

Hi all,

A couple months ago, I made a post asking why younger girls like older guys. That post was inspired because ever since my divorce, the majority of the girls I was introduced to were at least 8~10 years younger than me... and one was around 20 years younger. (FYI the exW was 8 years younger) This is just a little follow up on that thread.

Anyway... the one girl who is significantly younger than me, has been getting closer to me.  She is sweet, and kind... and incredibly cute. There is no questions on why I am attracted to her... but I have asked her several times what does she see in an old fart like me.  There have been several times that she said I'm cute (but I'm not) but I've heard "Handsome" more lately.  And, that... I can understand. I generally dress nice, but I'm comfortable in jeans and T's. When we have hung out with her friends, and went bowling... I wasn't out of place, and blended in (including a camo ball cap)... but when we have gone out... I'm wearing something more "Adult."

In the last few weeks... I can tell she has completely fallen for me... and to be honest... I have some very strong feelings for her. Because of that, the conversations have changed a little, and they have become deeper. She has told me that several of her past BF's have just been immature, and were just looking to be physical. While that is fun, it's not sustaining.  Also... I know her folks, and I wouldn't have expected this... but she told me about how her and her father never saw eye to eye.  She even told me how he wouldn't talk to her for almost a month after she got a simple tattoo on her foot.  She has also told me that... "I am perfectly happy just sitting quiet on the couch, and watching movies. When I'm with you, I feel that nothing can hurt me, and nothing can go wrong."

So... there it is.  This reflects to many of the comments made on that old post... but the reality is... she is looking for the stability, and confidence that comes with being older.  (And I think that probably goes for the other girls I've been talking with) Oh... and as a final FYI... I was really trying to keep this in the "Friend Zone" just because of the age spread... but I'm sure this will progress just because of the feelings involved.

Let me know if you think that's the case, and if you have any other insight on this.

 

Let me attempt a different line of thought...

 

IF I suddenly got up and left my traditional American neighborhood where the same people have been, and have been procreating for decades (leaving the same, similar, subtle physical (visible) traits in their offspring that I've been seeing in the collective "them"  for decades)...   and moved to the middle of Bogota:

 

I would look around and be markedly more drawn to the various visual appeal to many women, and a wider percentage of women, than I had been mere weeks earlier in the traditional American neighborhood.  Surely not as much for any reasons of their being more attractive  in general than for reasons of their seeming so instantly unique  to what I have been conditioned to admire over decades.

Same could be true of Italy, for example    (though maybe not as much during corona time).

 

IN the same way, the (women of an age such that they can be termed) "young" have likely not long ago assimilated with hundreds of classmates year after year, as they progressed together through the same environment (no matter WHAT the test scores  were in that environment)... and have created a familiarity of their own which parallels my own familiarity with my long-time American neighborhood.

Among the consistencies  familiar to a "young" woman are typically males their own age.

 

When you're age 14 and physically developed beyond your years, the only 24-year-old males who take interest are creeps who are appropriately shunned by society.

 

But once you turn 18... or 21...    then suddenly the rules are not so rigid  (AND you've had 4 or 7 additional years of age familiarity to those most likely to show social/romantic interest)...

 

Soooooooooooooooooooo  it isn't outlandish thinking that occasionally the young adult woman might be especially drawn to what seems unique and different compared to her environmental conditioning.

 

The LAST thing someone who might sincerely be a romantic interest of such a person, should do, is keep beating the drum of    ("but what is your interest IN me {and is it healthy}?" )  SUCH THAT it almost forces the young woman to come up with an answer which lands in your intellectual bullseye (even regardless of whether you know what you're talking about, or not).

FURTHERMORE, if a sweet young toddler evolves through life and never has, or ceases to have an adult male role model in her world, and then she becomes an adult and an adult IN NEED OF an older, male lover (perhaps to partially replace the father figure she never had)... that is in NO way her own fault.  (thus it's wrong to imply that she should go and date Johnny, the trashy 22yo who doesn't know what he wants in life other than what's between that girl's legs , for her own good)

 

Back to the example above of the smarmy 24yo male taking any sort of social interest in the physically mature 14yo.

(we all know that SHE is not wrong in being captivated by the attention  heaped upon her by such creepy people... and that is where it becomes quite challenging to keep the predators and their prey apart...    because it is her feelings and emotions which begin to guide her every unwise move in response ) (yet SHE herself is not "wrong" - other than in theories offered by holier-than-thou onlookers)

 

Ultimately, young adult women deserve their chance at someone  from the social wheelhouse which they have created for themselves.

 

You wouldn't endorse giving 18-year-olds the right to vote, and then policing who they vote for (er, well, IN free countries where one can vote for who one chooses), would you???

 

Then how far are you (the OP) from being the candidate who is doing essentially that  in front of this young woman? 

 

Now it is perfectly OK if you don't want to date her because (of some whimsical, typical reason we like to have/give, that is understood to be so common that we think it makes sense)... but the idea of your trying to get into her head and effectively scare her away from you...  isn't fair to either one of you.

 

The basketball great, Bill Russell, recently turned 86 years old.   Is it WRONG that his wife and long-time partner just turned 53????

 

 

Edited March 23, 2020 by SincereOnlineGuy

[Blind-Sided]

@SincereOnlineGuy First... are you a PHd Sociologist? LOL.  That felt like a short dissertation. But thank you... it was very thought provoking. and insightful.  

To start this off... I have come to the conclusion that this relationship will move from the "Friend Zone" into something more. There are a few reasons for this.  First is from this girl.  She is so incredibly sweet, she thinks about me constantly and sends me messages just to check on me.  She tells me that she's mad at me because I'm the last person she thinks about before going to bed, and the first person when she wakes up. (She said that's never happed before to her) She said it was hard for her to stay focused at work. (now we are home because corona) To your point @SincereOnlineGuy on voting... you are right.  She has selected me. I have actually tried to keep it as friends, (So I didn't pursue at all) but she was attracted to me.

The second point was my own research inside my social circle. I've asked my mom... I've asked older married couples, and I've asked a couple young married couples. The majority of them have basically said... "She's an adult, and age is irrelevant."  Some of these people are my neighbors, and that's a biggie for me, since these will be the people she will be interacting with. (once we can be out again)  Anyone who I would care about... isn't bothered by her being young.  Funny part of that... the woman in the "younger married couple" (She just turned 30) has known me for about 5 years now, and she said... "She would be lucky to have you."

The final thing is... she isn't a "Kid" kind of person, and isn't interested in having kids. (I don't want more) But she really likes my girls.  She has met them because it was a "Friend" thing at first, and not me introducing a GF. But both of my girls are well behaved, and cant take care of themselves. (my 9yo needs help with normal things)  She actually had said that things would have been different if they were bad kids (like her sisters kids)  And most importantly... my girls like her. My youngest has already invited her to go with us to the local amusement parks.  

Anyway... she was over last nigh, and we talked about things.  We are going to see where this goes.  I just wish that I could take her out on a proper date, but everything is shut down right now because of corona.

Edited March 24, 2020 by Blind-Sided

[schlumpy]

I don't disapprove of relationships with large age gaps. It's not my business. My rule of thumb is no one outside of five years of my age but I admit that I could get struck with lightening which would make me throw all my silly rules overboard.

I assume you are looking for a long term relationship - perhaps marriage again? If so the odds are not good that a large age gap will get you what you want. I have to admit that I would be suspicious if a woman 20 years younger wanted a serious relationship with me. Friendship I can understand. I've accomplished things that younger people can learn from and thus the motivation for a friendship.

Before she gets deep in your life, make sure you truly understand her motivations. You have already been kneecapped once. Let's not make a habit of it.

[elaine567]

14 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

 First is this from this girl.  She is so incredibly sweet, she thinks about me constantly and sends me messages just to check on me.  She tells me that she's mad at me because I'm the last person she thinks about before going to bed, and the first person when she wakes up. (She said that's never happed before to her) She said it was hard for her to stay focused at work.

This sounds all a bit obsessive. Love bombing comes to mind and that is usually never good..
Trouble is you are like a dry sponge starved of affection, the least bit of moisture will be soaked up by you as you are so "desperate".
Hungry for love, hungry for sex, hungry for validation.
Anyone in you situation would be, and all are vulnerable to getting into relationships that are ultimately toxic.
This girl IMO has targeted you.
Be careful.
 

 

[SummerDreams]

53 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

The second point was my own research inside my social circle. I've asked my mom... I've asked older married couples, and I've asked a couple young married couples. The majority of them have basically said... "She's an adult, and age is irrelevant."

Sorry to say but it's easier to be honest with a stranger on the internet than with someone you know and love. If you were my friend or neighbor of course I would tell you that age doesn't matter because I would feel this is what you would want to hear. I mean, the way you are asking matters a lot; if you ask like "This girl wants to have a relationship with me and I like her a lot and I would love to have a relationship with her, do you think we will have problems in the future?" shows that you are positive towards the relationship and what you want to hear is a validation so of course a loved one will give it to you because they love you and want to see you happy, even if they are proved wrong in the future.

When I was in the relationship with this older man I talked about, he also was having doubts about us and he went to a therapist and asked him what he should do. The therapist was almost his age and they connected well. He told him that this relationship won't work because she (me) is young, she has other interests, he won't be able to keep up with me, maybe she will want to have kids one day (he already had kids) and all in all this relationship is not going to last long. Thing is, I knew it at the time, even though I was crazy about him. We all know deep inside what the right decision is, but it's hard sometimes to put it into action.

The way you are describing her I'm getting some weird vibes from her behavior, as Elaine said. Also, the way you are describing the whole story shows me that you know things are not ideal and it's like you are trying to convince us that they are. You are insisting that she likes you a lot, she knows your kids, the kids invited her somewhere, your mom and neighbors etc agree, BUT... it seems you are holding back a bit and the reason that is holding you back is your gut telling you something is off.

So I would suggest that you don't take this potential relationship seriously for a LTR. If you want to experience it, convince yourself that it won't last long. And God forbid, DON'T get her pregnant.

 

 

 

[Blind-Sided]

14 minutes ago, schlumpy said:

1) I assume you are looking for a long term relationship - perhaps marriage again?

2) I have to admit that I would be suspicious if a woman 20 years younger wanted a serious relationship with me.

Before she gets deep in your life, make sure you truly understand her motivations. You have already been kneecapped once. Let's not make a habit of it.

to your points...

1) Yes and no. I would like a relationship... but I'm not looking to get married again any time soon.

2) I am too!  And I guess that's why I wasn't looking to have this move past being friends.

9 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

1) Trouble is you are like a dry sponge starved of affection, the least bit of moisture will be soaked up by you as you are so "desperate". Hungry for love, hungry for sex, hungry for validation.
2) Anyone in you situation would be, and all are vulnerable to getting into relationships that are ultimately toxic.

3) Be careful.
 

 

1) I'm not going to disagree. You have been part of my story since I showed up to this place, and I do take your comments to heart. I'm not sure if I would say desperate, as I could have had "Physical" relations with several girls at this point... but, as you know... my own head, and moral compass has kept it "In my pants" for well over a year now. Also, as you know... I have blown it with a couple girls because things just didn't feel right.  Yes, one was my exact age... but the other was slim, pretty, and 10 years younger.  So it's not just an age thing attracting me.

2) Unfortunately... you could be right.

3) Thanks... I will try.

To both: I appreciate the input, and I'm still not going to let things progress fast.  Heck... I've known her for most of her life... but we have been going out as friends, and hanging out in groups for several months now.  So, it's not like it was a meeting with "fireworks" and passion that turned physical. This was really an organic meeting with friends (not a one-on-one introduction) The first meeting was the beginning of January, and there was 7 of us at a local brewery. We talked a bunch, but I talked with a couple other girls. A week later, me and our common friend were invited to a party at her house... and the following weekend, 6 of us did a local escape room.  To @elaine567 comment of love bombing... I would agree if it was a short time, and I wasn't into it.  But we are kind of at the 2 month stage... we have done several one-on-one dates that were nothing more than a "I had a good time" and a hug at the end... but in the last week and a half... things just have gotten more serious... and it wasn't physical at all until last Saturday where I kissed her on the forehead while hugging her.  

Thanks for the input... it's been very helpful.

[Blind-Sided]

13 minutes ago, SummerDreams said:

..... The way you are describing her I'm getting some weird vibes from her behavior, as Elaine said. Also, the way you are describing the whole story shows me that you know things are not ideal and it's like you are trying to convince us that they are. ........... And God forbid, DON'T get her pregnant.

 

 

 

Wellllllllll.  You aren't actually wrong with that. I worked with this girls mother years ago. I was a research chemist, and I left on good terms. I go back to that place of business all the time to answer questions, and to help when there are production issues. (I spec'ed out almost all SOP's while there) So, I've stayed in touch with her mother over all these years. Part of the problem is... when this goes public... I will have to talk to her mother who may not approve. And not just that... but because I've kown her mother for 20 years... I can just imagine the talk will be like I'm a kid. (Mom yelling at me. LOL) The other thing is... I remember looking at a picture of this girl on her mothers desk, every day.  And back then... she was only 6 years old.   Out of any of this... that's the image I'm trying to overcome. LOL. So... I was 27 the first time I saw that picture.  (I was adult, and she was still very much a child) 

So yes... there is some internal questioning.

[Azincourt]

On 3/23/2020 at 11:52 AM, Blind-Sided said:

Hi all,

A couple months ago, I made a post asking why younger girls like older guys.

 

First of all,  as a general rule women aren't sexually attracted to older men. There's lots of young women who enter romantic relationships with older guys because they have money.

On the other hand, there's also lots of women in their 30s and 40s who enter a romantic relationhip with a guy because he has money, especially in these trying days with so many men having college debt,  credit card debt, healthcare debt, and lacking the means to put a downpayment on a house, which results in many women getting together with men they aren't attracted to.

Second of all, don't call younger women '' younger girls''.

Is she 18-22? Then she's a young woman.  Not a ''young girl''. last time I was called a boy I was 16. Why would a legal adult be called a young girl? Why are men calling women aged 18-35 ''girls?''

It's so weird.

Quote

 

That post was inspired because ever since my divorce, the majority of the girls I was introduced to were at least 8~10 years younger than me... and one was around 20 years younger. (FYI the exW was 8 years younger) This is just a little follow up on that thread.

That's because you got money. Or you still have youthful looks.  Most men who are in their 20s either haven't gone to college, or went to college to get a useful college degree and now are stuck spending the next 20-30 years paying college debt, exorbitant rents that will never allow them to save up the money for a downpayment. They live paycheck to paycheck, and they have no lifesavings, and no 401k and no future pension.

Young women who want to have a family, want to get married, want to get out of their parents house or want help paying rent, are going to have no other option but to date/marry/co-habitate men who are older than them.

I'm in my 30s and I still date and hookup with women who are 18-25, not because I have money, as I always pretend to live with roomates and to have little to no money, but because due to genetics and due to taking care of myself - I haven't aged much at all.

It's not that young women are attracted to older men. They really aren't as a whole, as a collective group of women. Youth is attractive, for men and for women. Madonna's in her 60s and her last boyfriend was 24, it's just that some men in their 30s have wide shoulders, a strong chin, a square jawline, a full head of thick hair,  a soccer-build body at 180lbs and 10% without going to the gym.

whereas quite a huge number of young men in their late teens and early to mid 20s have a weak and small chin, a  weak jawline, and they're quite scrawny, and so despite being a middle-aged man in your 30s, you can still get hook-ups with attractive women 18-25 year old women.

Cristiano Ronaldo is 6'2'' about 190lbs with 5% body fat, and he's handsome. But he's already old at 35: don't you think 22 year old women would prefer him to be 22 instea of 35? sure, but he makes up for his age in many different ways.

Quote

Anyway... the one girl who is significantly younger than me, has been getting closer to me.  She is sweet, and kind... and incredibly cute. There is no questions on why I am attracted to her... but I have asked her several times what does she see in an old fart like me.

Women lower their standards in men all the time, not just in terms of physical attractiveness as also in age. 

Life circumstances, or maybe the young women were emotionally hurt by men their own age(lots of guys will sleep with a variety of women given the chance) and those young women don't want to be cheated, and a man who is older than the woman he's with is going to be more of a better boyfriend than the younger man because how many opportunites is he going to have to date a physically attractive 20 year old woman, presumably,  and women just want to have peace of mind.

There have been women like that too in my life.  For example, a 21 year old, forever 21 retail seller who worked with my sister, gorgeous at 5'10'' 130lbs, naturally tanned skin, curly hair that was so thick as it was long, and with a stunning smile, who pursued me and asked me out and had all the work to get the relationship started.

I asked her many times, '' Why are you interested in me? The store you work at is everyday filled up with 19 year old Calvin Klein models who throw their cellphone numbers at you. Why would you be interested in dating an old man?  I'm 30 years old, I'm way past my prime.''

But she insisted that she loved me 🤣

Quote

 There have been several times that she said I'm cute (but I'm not)

 

Same. In my 30s I still model as a catalog model/face model/hand model/leg model/still do work for the forever 21 brand and a few other modelling agencies that are in vogue(get it ) but I'm no longer in my physical prime. On the outside, I still look like I'm a young man, but I feel old on the inside, bro. I feel old.

Quote

 

but I've heard "Handsome" more lately.  And, that... I can understand. I generally dress nice, but I'm comfortable in jeans and T's. When we have hung out with her friends, and went bowling... I wasn't out of place, and blended in (including a camo ball cap)... but when we have gone out... I'm wearing something more "Adult."

Yes, people who dress ''young'' are usually mistaken to be young. When I go out wearing ripped jeans, a baseball cap and a muscle tee-shirt, I get treated like I'm young, even young people call me the informal you(I'm living outside of the States right now) which is something they only do to people their own age, but when I go out wearing a suit, I'm suddenly treated as a ''sir.''

Quote

In the last few weeks... I can tell she has completely fallen for me... and to be honest... I have some very strong feelings for her. Because of that, the conversations have changed a little, and they have become deeper. She has told me that several of her past BF's have just been immature, and were just looking to be physical

Well, young men for the most part are looking to get laid. Even when they have a girlfriend, many of them, yes. Not that the feeling and the desire to experience a variety of sexual encounters becomes muddled as the man ages, as I will pretty much cheat on any girlfriend given the chance to sleep with someone hotter,  but in general terms, yes. An older man is more likely to remain loyal and steady, in the face of offers from young/attractive women.

See what I meant in my previous commentary? That young woman was probably cheated by an ex-boyfriend, or by several,  leading her to date you because she feels you are a ''safe bet''.

There have been women whom I've rejected because they were wayyyyyyyy too attractive for me to feel secure, not that I care about my girlfriend(s) sleeping with other men,  but because I reckon, ''hey this woman dated gucci models and georgio armani models, and I'm not of the same quality. Why is she with me?''

Quote

While that is fun, it's not sustaining. 

 

Most relationships aren't sustainable, bro. Not just relationships between younger men/older women /young women/older men/ but most relationships are not going to last more than 2 years, that's why you should enjoy the time you have with your current girlfriend and not worry about what might happen and about what might not happen.

Quote

Also... I know her folks, and I wouldn't have expected this... but she told me about how her and her father never saw eye to eye.  She even told me how he wouldn't talk to her for almost a month after she got a simple tattoo on her foot. 

Daddy issues?

So,  because I went to college for my degree, I am pretty much free to enter Muslim nations to work. In one of my trips to a Sharia Middle-East nation, I met this young woman. She finds me dashing. Handsome. Charming. Which is easier than shooting fish in a barrel with a shotgun to fit the bill when the only men women are allowed to meet and to be around are either their fathers, brothers or uncles.

Imagine what it's like to be a 19 year old woman(who also happened to be bisexual..) with a high sex drive, no way of dealing with it because of Sharia muslim law, and then you meet a guy who tickles your berry, and isn't afraid of being stoned to death by her rich father/grandfather/brothers who wanted to make a rich sale on her, and I'm taking about a really huge amount of money/land/  by selling her to the physically unattractive son of the father's best friend in college?

Well, then. You ''date'' the guy to anger your father.

Daddy issues.

Imagine that your Country has 70% female obesity, and your daughter is 5'10'', 130lbs, and hot as hell, but you are only going to get the full amount of valuables/cash/lands/ if she's a virgin.

Daddy issues, bro.

Quote

 

She has also told me that... "I am perfectly happy just sitting quiet on the couch, and watching movies. When I'm with you, I feel that nothing can hurt me, and nothing can go wrong."

Sounds to me that most of her younger ex-boyfriends used to hang out in nightclubs and bars, and that invariably leads to taking women home, but since you spend your nights on the couch watching movies like my 60s father, chances are you're not exactly going to cheat on her - that's how she thinks.

 

Quote

So... there it is.  This reflects to many of the comments made on that old post... but the reality is... she is looking for the stability, and confidence that comes with being older.  (And I think that probably goes for the other girls I've been talking with) Oh... and as a final FYI... I was really trying to keep this in the "Friend Zone" just because of the age spread... but I'm sure this will progress just because of the feelings involved.

Let me know if you think that's the case, and if you have any other insight on this.

Yes, yes for the most part, women are looking for stability. Either women in their 20s who are looking for a guy who won't cheat on her, as women in their 30s are looking for a guy who can afford a house and can put food on the table.

Put a condom on every time you have sex with her, and don't fall in love with her, because most relationships are temporary, and a relationship with a younger woman the more so.

Edited March 24, 2020 by Azincourt

[SummerDreams]

The sexism in the previous post is intolerable and sad.

[Azincourt]

Which post?

The OP's initial post?

and what exactly was it about the commentary that was intolerable and sad?

 

🤔

[simpycurious]

I don't think there is anything wrong with Blind dating this lady.  If they are both HAPPY and ENJOY one another's company "who's to judge."  People rarely discuss the older woman who wants to date the 20 or 30 something guy that is fit, has money etc. and let me ASSURE you it HAPPENS A LOT.   So many of the posts seem to equate "older" with having money and being stable but many that are much younger have that as well.  

[stillafool]

18 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

People rarely discuss the older woman who wants to date the 20 or 30 something guy that is fit, has money etc. and let me ASSURE you it HAPPENS A LOT. 

It's damn near an epidemic where I live whether they have money or not.

[simpycurious]

5 minutes ago, stillafool said:

It's damn near an epidemic where I live whether they have money or not.

Yep...........not sure what constitutes being a "cougar" or a down right "Lioness"

[SummerDreams]

1 hour ago, simpycurious said:

I don't think there is anything wrong with Blind dating this lady.  If they are both HAPPY and ENJOY one another's company "who's to judge."  People rarely discuss the older woman who wants to date the 20 or 30 something guy that is fit, has money etc. and let me ASSURE you it HAPPENS A LOT.   So many of the posts seem to equate "older" with having money and being stable but many that are much younger have that as well.  

I didn't see anybody judging. He asked the question and posters said their opinions.

Also, the thread is about young women dating older men and not vice versa so it's normal this is what we discuss.

[sothereiwas]

Men see women differently than women see men. Or put another way, "women are sex objects and men are success objects". This is the way we are wired. 

[simpycurious]

17 minutes ago, sothereiwas said:

Men see women differently than women see men. Or put another way, "women are sex objects and men are success objects". This is the way we are wired. 

Maybe, the "wiring" needs to be REDONE.  What about women for companionship and maybe a life partner?  

[sothereiwas]

1 minute ago, simpycurious said:

Maybe, the "wiring" needs to be REDONE.  What about women for companionship and maybe a life partner?  

Talk to god or darwin, I only report the weather, I don't make it. 

[Blind-Sided]

I appreciate all the comments... I really do.  Even if I don't necessarily agree with them.

Since the topic of money has come up, I guess I need to respond to that.  I can say... this is not a money situation.  Yes... I'm probably doing a little better than her, but it's not a "Sugar Daddy" kind of thing.  I'm ok, and don't really live paycheck to paycheck.  But because of the divorce, I don't have much savings either. I drive a new upper level truck... I have a modest house with a nice yard for my kids... I have a boat, motorcycles, and some other toys... but I'm not "Wealthy" by any means.  Oh... and as an FYI... the toys were all projects bought cheap.  The boat had a blown up engine, one of the motorcycles was a basket case... so on.  As for her... she went to school, and is working, and making good money.  She drives an upper level sport/wagon (leather, nav, turbo) She has a house... and as far as I know... she has paid off her school loans. I know that sound crazy to some... but I had mine paid off before I bought my house. (when I was 30)

Honestly... in our conversations... WAY before I even was able to give her a proper hug... I think my personality, and who I am attracted her. I'm very educated, and she thinks I'm very smart.  She likes when I'm wearing a suit, and being the hard-nose on a business call. But she knows I'm also happy in grubby cloths, elbow deep in an engine. (or welding, or running a machine tool) And, she's seen my home workshop with all of my electronics creations.  I'm just a well rounded person.

Lastly... no... I'm not some super hot, good genetics kind of guy.  I'm not over weight... but I'm not ripped.  I'm bald, and my beard is gray. But I'm honest, and caring... to the point that my neighbors have said... "your exW tried to destroy you... why are you nice to her?"  My response has been... "It's for the kids, and what is being mean to her going to get me at this point?"