Author Blind-Sided Posted April 9, 2020 Author Share Posted April 9, 2020 On 4/8/2020 at 7:44 AM, PRW said: ... I am well aware in great detail of what is going on with the current culture,...I just reject it, think they are being stupid, and consider myself smarter than they are. I think that's kind of the core of the comment above. It's like my grandfather (God rest his soul) Yelling at me for listening to Metal when I was a kid. He could have said it was ok, but not his thing... and it would have been a totally different feel to the conversation. Or my great aunt (his sister) Yelling at me for having long hair. (late 80's) They thought they were right, and I was stupid... but my choices dictate who I am now. OK... eating Tides pods is stupid/dangerous... and some of the Liberal/Socialist/snowflake followers just haven't had to deal with life on their own yet... but if a group of kids wants to play fortnight, or listen to some top 40 music I don't care for... I'm not going to put them down for it. Heck... my own 13yo daughter wanted blue and pink hair, and I didn't even give it a second thought. (and I paid to have it done right) Nothing of real importance... just throwing out some random thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted April 9, 2020 Share Posted April 9, 2020 When I was a teenager I used to say I'd never become this type of old people who talk badly to young people for their choices and I think I have succeeded in this because i grew up going to vacation every summer and being friends there with kids of all ages (I was the oldest there but I just found it easy to talk to kids of all ages). Also I play online games so I have some interaction with young people. Add to this I have a sister who is now almost 15 years old and, although I'm sometimes shocked with the music (or should I say "music" :P) she listens to, I don't judge her. There is a saying in my country that goes like this : Where you are now, I used to be, and where I am now, You will eventually come. So I try not to judge people because I don't know their story. I would definitely not call someone stupid because in my opinion they know less than me or whatever. (sorry, we have got this thread off topic, blame the corona virus! :P) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 (edited) On 4/7/2020 at 12:53 PM, Cookiesandough said: One thing I experienced when dating a much older guy is that older men are really out of touch with a lot of things in current culture, which I do not like. It’s kind of like dating a guy my age who was living under a rock many years or is very lame. lol You’ll need to bring a pillow and a blanket. Not for you, but for me because I’ve put myself to sleep a number of times for being so lame. Edited April 10, 2020 by Interstellar 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Piddy Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 (edited) On 4/7/2020 at 12:53 PM, Cookiesandough said: One thing I experienced when dating a much older guy is that older men are really out of touch with a lot of things in current culture, which I do not like. It’s kind of like dating a guy my age who was living under a rock many years or is very lame. lol I think the same could be said in reverse. That the young woman (or man for that matter) is ignorant of things before they came into being. I'm amazed at how many young people are ignorant of history for example. We've all seen the street interviews of young people where they don't know if Russia was an allie or enemy in WW II. Or who won the civil war. Or even current events like who is the vice president. So, while some older men may be out of touch with current culture. The same could be said with younger people in general being up to date on the current culture, but ignorant in may other aspects beyond that. Edited April 10, 2020 by Piddy 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NomiMalone Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 (edited) Being out of touch with the current culture isnt as bad as trying to be in touch with it when you don’t understand or appreciate it. That seems insecure and lame. Just being yourself and acting age appropriate is most attractive, whatever age you are. Edited April 10, 2020 by NomiMalone 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 We are all usually in touch with the culture we grew up with, so when young we are often intimately involved in the culture of the day. As we age we can get stuck in the culture of a "decade", We tend to "know" about the stuff that we got taught at school or the stuff we since have developed an interest in. We may therefore lose track of current popular culture, but instead substitute it with stuff more pertinent to our own life stage. We are therefore not so interested in current culture, we leave that to the young... We cannot readily identify, so we let it go. Some will be like Peter Pan and are always immersing themselves into the culture of the new generation, some will be "old souls" and hark back to a past they were never a part of. But most tend to stick to what they know, they thus "click" best with those who share their own life experiences 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 On 3/28/2020 at 9:58 AM, K.K. said: The dynamic is even worse in the older woman/ younger man scenario. Fun for a time. But not lasting, in my eyes. She’s going to get old looking and haggard. The man is very visual from what I understand and this will go badly for her. Her view of herself will suffer. If he stays, it’s most likely out of some sort of obligation. And in the times when he’s alone and hot and seeking self gratification, he’ll most likely be thinking of that hard bodied 20 year old woman. Tell me I’m wrong. Maybe I’m just cynical. No matter who you're with, what age they are, while you're together they're going to get older looking. Since I met my wife 5 years ago I've lost some of my hair. But when our eyes meet we still have that fiery chemistry. She still finds me attractive despite it. Plenty of same age couples get older together and are still attracted to each other. And if you have that underlying chemistry the dynamic doesn't change when one partner is younger. And despite what people around here like to say, if a man and a woman are genuinely turned on by each other, sex doesn't go by the wayside just because of age. Right now my older than me wife has firm, incredible breasts and an incredible face and body, the most attractive head of hair I've ever seen, but when the day comes her breasts start to sag and wrinkles start to form I'm still going to be just as proud to hold her hand in public and carry her to bedroom. And if Blind Sided and his girl have the same chemistry then they'll probably be just fine. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 15 minutes ago, gaius said: No matter who you're with, what age they are, while you're together they're going to get older looking. Since I met my wife 5 years ago I've lost some of my hair. But when our eyes meet we still have that fiery chemistry. She still finds me attractive despite it. Plenty of same age couples get older together and are still attracted to each other. And if you have that underlying chemistry the dynamic doesn't change when one partner is younger. And despite what people around here like to say, if a man and a woman are genuinely turned on by each other, sex doesn't go by the wayside just because of age. Right now my older than me wife has firm, incredible breasts and an incredible face and body, the most attractive head of hair I've ever seen, but when the day comes her breasts start to sag and wrinkles start to form I'm still going to be just as proud to hold her hand in public and carry her to bedroom. And if Blind Sided and his girl have the same chemistry then they'll probably be just fine. You sound very lucky Gaius. Very vivid as well. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 My wife and I are both very lucky that fate has allowed us to meet and be together @Haydn. It's just funny the assumptions and generalizations always made about this topic. For all we know blind sideds girlfriend might be 20 years old but 200 pounds overweight, warts on her face, bald. But he still loves her because they have that chemistry. Who knows. I used to take my wife (at the time girlfriend) to work functions at my old job and she was always the most beautiful woman in the room, despite having lots of 20 year olds around. And I wasn't the only one who thought so. One of our manager/trainer work meetings in the week afterward turned into my regional manager quizzing me about her ethnicity. None of the other guys ever got a question like that. But at the end of the day, it's just icing on the cake. I didn't fall in love with her because of that. This whole idea that men have to have 20 year olds is the domain of men who aren't really distinctive in any way. That aren't witty, or funny or strong. They're not noticable or recognizable unless they cart around some 20 year old. They have nothing else to fuel their ego. And that's not every man. You can really miss out on some beautiful things in life if you operate under the assumption that looks are everything, and that once you get older someone can't love or be attracted to you anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 You get gifts or at least way better dates than a young guy can afford, the older guy is grateful and takes pains to see to it you won't run off with a hot young dude, he takes the place of adults in your life who don't treat you as well. There are payoffs though as a young girl I could never feel attracted enough to go through with it. But I did see a few girls who did. For the most part my friends wanted someone about their age and most couples have only a few years between them. I'm a few years older than my husband but that means we are in the same stage of life, have similar memories, matched energy level (I get that there are no guarantees of that just based on age), a bunch of stuff that just seems to line up, and that was never the case on the few dates with older (much older) men I said yes to. But every relationship is different and not every single woman feels as I do. Most that I know, though. I remember when I was 20 a 40-year-old guy asked me out. I wasn't attracted at all but I was kind of shamed into it by other people at work...didn't I realize age was just a number, how shallow was I, blah, blah. so this guy came to my house (my parent's house) to pick me up. And the three of them chatted on and on and just "got" one another. Some song came on the radio and they all remembered it together and laughed. Just all out together I felt like I was going on a date with my uncle. He even admonished me during dinner to eat my veal because it was expensive. I was pretty creeped out and I never let anyone shame me into a date again. I trusted my gut. Some people do have large age differences and they make it work but lots of young women aren't as turned on by older guys as the guys would like to think. It's often more practical reasons than raw passion...(often, NOT always.) Just my experience and observation. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 I'm not sure the glorification of raw passion is a completely positive thing in life. Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 On 4/10/2020 at 5:16 AM, elaine567 said: Some will be like Peter Pan and are always immersing themselves into the culture of the new generation, some will be "old souls" and hark back to a past they were never a part of. Older American music is very popular in a lot of foreign places. My wife is a lot younger than I am, but she and a lot of her peers listen to the music I grew up with. Having a constant culture clash might be exhausting though, you're right. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 From what I recall reading in A Billion Wicked Thoughts, surprisingly one thing that some women can be attracted to is competence. This is a bit hard to understand for many men (and possibly some women) with their focus on bodies, etc. I believe this can include things like social skills, job skills, and "life skills" for lack of a better word, and I think this is one area where, speaking generally, older men may can have an advantage over younger ones. Probably not the end-all/be-all advantage (as it's certainly not going to be the ONLY factor in attractiveness for many/most women, just one) but it's an area in which the older man can shine/attract. I think for younger men, casually mentioning your, e.g. job skills or some other expertise is a somewhat counter intuitive way to give yourself a bit of a bump. Just don't be overbearing about it (which would show poor social skills and most likely counteract any benefit). Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 6 minutes ago, mark clemson said: From what I recall reading in A Billion Wicked Thoughts, surprisingly one thing that some women can be attracted to is competence. The term I've heard was prowess but it's basically the same thing. Seems to hold true a lot of the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blind-Sided Posted June 12, 2020 Author Share Posted June 12, 2020 18 hours ago, gaius said: ....... It's just funny the assumptions and generalizations always made about this topic. For all we know blind sideds girlfriend might be 20 years old but 200 pounds overweight, warts on her face, bald. But he still loves her because they have that chemistry. Who knows. I did laugh when I read that... but for the record... she is 26, pretty, and is a runner. (So runners thighs and butt) But the chemistry is there. For example... yesterday, she was dropping a gallon of milk off for me, and the 5 minute "Drive by" turned into a 40 minute "Hello" and I finally kicked her out because I didn't want her to let her groceries sitting in her hot car. (and she had other things to do at home) 17 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: ....... I remember when I was 20 a 40-year-old guy asked me out. I wasn't attracted at all but I was kind of shamed into it by other people at work...didn't I realize age was just a number, how shallow was I, blah, blah. ........ I was pretty creeped out and I never let anyone shame me into a date again. I trusted my gut. Some people do have large age differences and they make it work but lots of young women aren't as turned on by older guys as the guys would like to think. It's often more practical reasons than raw passion...(often, NOT always.) Just my experience and observation. I get it... and that's where some of my original questions came from. But she was tired of the young guys not treating her well. The other night... she was hugging me and started to tear up and said... "You treat me better than anyone ever has." I guess being nice, and simply listening to her is what she has been looking for. Also, when I questioned her on the age difference... and why... she has said to me... "I would never know I was sitting next to a 47 yo." I'm responsible, and take care of my kids... but I like to have fun. Now to your point... I didn't ask her on a date. We started hanging out after my divorce, with a group of friends... and we just started hanging out more often "One on One'... and it just kind of evolved. As a final FYI to all... we have been seeing each other for about 5 months now... and things are great. She is a runner, but I join her on her cool down walk... and she has baked some goodies for my kids. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 It sounds like a really nice relationship. 💕 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 "Insight on why young girls like older guys" It's usually either that, or one of the following: Cats in the cradle Little Boy Blue The Man in the Moon Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 On 6/11/2020 at 1:58 PM, sothereiwas said: I'm not sure the glorification of raw passion is a completely positive thing in life. Life without passion...you might as well be a tree. Granted a relationship started with raw passion has no guarantee of succeeding. But the same can for sure be said about a relationship started without it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 On 6/11/2020 at 6:42 PM, sothereiwas said: The term I've heard was prowess but it's basically the same thing. Seems to hold true a lot of the time. No way, competence and prowess are not the same thing. Prowess is sharp, instinctive, gut-level and kinda sexy. Competence is: I made it to work today without hitting another car. 😀 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 I'm chiming in really late. At 26, I wouldn't be nearly as worried about her compared to if she was 21 or 22. It's only a few years on the calendar, but in terms of maturity it's substantial. I've known very young women who were attracted to guys who were significantly older because of their 'youthful outlook' and these same women went on to outgrow the guys. But if you're living as a man your age generally would, she's old enough to relate and importantly, she isn't going to outgrow you. She may of course change her mind on having children, but no matter how old the guy is, there's always that risk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blind-Sided Posted June 13, 2020 Author Share Posted June 13, 2020 @basil67 I agree. If she was just a few years younger... she wouldn't have the life experiences to to know what an older guy could offer. The one big point is... and it's something her and I have talked about... I'm still a "Dumb Man"... but I've lived long enough to know how to control that. LOL AND... she has seen how younger guys treat her. Plus, she has a real job, and a house, and has mentally moved out of "Childhood"... if that makes sense. AND... the "Kids" part of it is really the only real issue I foresee becoming an issue in the future. Even 10 years from now... she will be 36, and her bio clock could be ticking loud, and REALLY want a kid. But if I worry about the "What If's" all the time... then I won't enjoy the "Now". 😊 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Blind-Sided said: the "Kids" part of it is really the only real issue I foresee becoming an issue in the future. Even 10 years from now... she will be 36, and her bio clock could be ticking loud, and REALLY want a kid. Does she want to have children? Do you want to have more children? IF she wants children, she’s probably not going to want to wait ten years to have her first child. That would not be a wise decision. Living in the moment is all well and good, and maybe she doesn’t want children... but, you need to be realistic here. If you don’t want children and she does, it would be really unfair to her if she misses the opportunity to find a husband her own age and have her own family. Sure, she has time... but she doesn’t have that much time. In terms of the age difference here, many women tend to date older men. There is a lot to be said for maturity, particularly when individuals are younger. At least when I was younger, it was almost a societal norm. But here, there is a generational gap. That’s just not something I would ever chose for myself, but that’s beside the point... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blind-Sided Posted June 13, 2020 Author Share Posted June 13, 2020 2 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Does she want to have children? Do you want to have more children? IF she wants children, she’s probably not going to want to wait ten years to have her first child. That would not be a wise decision. She is very much NOT wanting any kids. She says EVER. She told me this before ever she ever knew my position on that. I also don't want any more kids. SO... on this point... we are on the same page. But, I know women do have a tendency to feel the urge of wanting a child somewhere along their life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 7 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: No way, competence and prowess are not the same thing. They are quite similar, and be fair, I did say "basically": prow·ess /ˈprouəs/ 1. skill or expertise in a particular activity or field. com·pe·tence /ˈkämpədəns/ 1. the ability to do something successfully or efficiently. But I have always felt and been told that prowess better describes the warm fuzzies that go along with the core concept in this case. In any case, I think the point I was responding to is correct and true. I've observed it many times in life myself. Some or possibly even many women are attracted to evidence of prowess, and let's face it, for most things and most fellas, that doesn't peak at age 19. The most interesting thing about this to me is that for most men, we don't give a fig about prowess in women. That might be an overstatement, I do care a bit, but it's not a major initial factor, it's more a final elimination gate. To advance from last nights date to GF to wife, the threshold keeps getting higher. For last night's date, don't care. My wife is quite competent, and I value that in her. Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) 52 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said: She is very much NOT wanting any kids. She says EVER. She told me this before ever she ever knew my position on that. I also don't want any more kids. SO... on this point... we are on the same page. But, I know women do have a tendency to feel the urge of wanting a child somewhere along their life. Be aware ... women change their minds about things like that. Just repeating what you said. Edited June 13, 2020 by sothereiwas Link to post Share on other sites
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