Insight on why young girls like older guys

[elaine567]

11 hours ago, Blind-Sided said:

I was talking to her about my surgery, (The scar is on "The boys") and how my youngest daughter was the one who was really helping me recover... and how the nurse in the recovery area was nicer to me than my exW was (We were still married at the time) this girl was actually crying because she felt bad for the way the exW treated me during it.

Oh dear...
Be very careful.

[Azincourt]

3 hours ago, 2.50 a gallon said:

There are several points.  First when we met I had a very active sex life, with lots of partners and all knew not to try to be exclusive.  With my Ex, she wanted to be exclusive right from the beginning. 

 

Yes, they do that. They try to lockdown the eligible bachelor because there's lots of other women who also want to be with the guy(his money, college degree, his own house etc) so they put a heavy lockdown on the guy by giving him the best and easiest sex he's ever had to get him doped up on them.

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As an example, she wanted a key, I gave her one, with the rule that if a certain statue was in the window, be warned I am probably having sex with some one else.  A couple of months in she came in anyway and started to fuss, I told her she could get mad and leave or she could come back to the bedroom and join in.  I didn't car.

Yes, they want to move in as fast as possible. First they start with wanting a key so they can take care of your house for you when you're away, soon enough your bathroom is cluttered up with her personal items, then your wardrobe has to have space cleared up so she can put some ''clothes in there in case I spend the night.''

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We weren't even exclusive and she was already talking about marriage.

 

Lemme guess. She was early to mid 30s and wanted to get married and have kids? 

She looks at you, sees that you have your own house - which is something most 30s men are increasingly failing to get  - you have a good car, no college debt or not much, good college degrees, and life savings and suddenly you are the love of her life, and she can't see herself being with another man, because of how special you are.

Yeah, I've had that tale told to me too.

Sadly, due to the way our society was designed by our patrhiarchal ancestors, women are raised under the belief that unless they get married and have children, their worth as women, as people, is zero. That's why you see a lot of women into marriage in their 30s after barely knowing the guy.

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I was the only one of a dozen grand children who could pass on the family name and that worried. I was in my 30's so was facing a lot of family pressure, grandmother, parents, uncles and aunts, to marry and continue the family name. 

I've been there, bro. I'm the only man in a family of 5 sisters about 50 female cousins and lots and lots of aunts and uncles who are too old to try and get a son. I can't go anywhere with my parents or my grandparents without their friends trying to introduce me to their daughters and grandaughters. I even had one grandma take a look at me, and tell me that if she had a grandaughter she would've introduced her to me.

Even the lady who takes care of my father's finances, at the bank, took a look at me and wanted me to introduce her daughter to me. Now, if I was Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's son, I would understan  why they'd want me to meet the young women who are part of their families, but I'm nothing special.

The only reason I can come up with for all of this interest in ending my lifelong bachelor destiny is because they want to put their hands on my family's money etc.

I don't get this obsession with marriage and children people have. It's like, they don't really believe a guy could actually want to remain single and want to ''help him out''.

Help me out by introducing me to 18 year old Cindy Crawford clones, thank you very much.

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 My thoughts were If I have to choose just one single sex partner I might as well choose the hottest one.

Exactly. If you're supposed to only have one single sex partner, better make it worth it. Although, if it's just me and you talking, I'll still stand by my undying belief that polygamous marriages should become accessible to men at large. 

If a man can afford 2, 3, 4, or 5 wives at the same time - why shouldn't he be able to get that?

The Saudi Princes do that. And they're our biggest allies and we buy their oil and we sell them billions in guns, and we mobilize our military forces to protect them, so there must be nothing wrong with the lifestyle of the Saudi Arabian Princes.

So why can a woman divorce a dude because he slept with another woman and why can she take home with her 60 billion dollars?

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For about 3 and half years she pressured us to get married.  And it seemed almost the minute she won and got her marriage degree, she lost all interest in me and did a total change. 

Women usually lose interest in sex after they get married.  They've already gotten what they want, so they don't need to keep up performing. See, the thing is, many, many women are not sexually attracted to the men they marry, but they want children and marriage and all of that is expensive, so they choose a guy who can afford that, get him drugged up on good sex, and then leave him to dry. That's the major complaint I hear from men who are 10-60 years older than me.

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Why Women Lose Interest in Sex

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Women’s desire levels are generally lower to start with. And we don’t need decades of research to know that men usually think more about sex, fantasize more about it, work harder to get it, place more importance on it, initiate it more often, and masturbate more. What seems to ignite desire for women is the excitement and novelty of a budding new romance.

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Researcher Marta Meana’s recent study documents a severe decline in sexual desire among 19 married women. For some, formalizing their relationship as marriage made sex so available and so sanctioned that it lost the forbidden and erotic quality that had formerly ignited passion. For other women, overfamiliarity with their husband led to a decline in romance and in sexual experimentation, as well as a loss of  motivation to care for their appearance now that they had “hooked their man.”

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As Meara puts it, “Women want a commitment because it signals they are uniquely desired. But once a commitment has been made, your guy is stuck and the meaning of commitment changes. In women, desire may be driven to the same extent as it is in men by novelty and excitement and a stranger thinking they are hot.”

See, this is one of the reasons why I believe that in order for a husband to truly show to his wife that he loves her, that he should have sex with women outside of the marriage and the wife should be okay and happy with the arrangement, because you can't expect a woman to want sex 5 times a day like she did when she was 19,  now that she's in her 30s, has a job, and children to raise.

You shouldn't ''expect'' sex from the woman you marry. You should be getting it from women you hook-up with, women you have friendships with benefits relationships, or with escorts and women who work at brothels.

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I was surprised how quickly she changed, it was almost over night.  The fighting began right from the honey moon, and ended when I caught her with the guard on our anniversary.  When I kicked her out she moved in with the guy.   

Odd thing is she came by to get the last of her things abouI 2 week later and realized that I had not slept alone the previous night, and was once again totally in love with me.          

Yes, that's how usually it goes.

Woman marries a man she is not sexually attracted to, but he's good husband/father material.

She stops having sex with the husband after she can secure child-support and alimony.

She sleeps with another guy, or maybe she had already been sleeping with that guy before her marriage ever started.

She divorces the husband, collects child-support for 18 years, moves in with her lover, and has all of the good sex she denied her husband after she got married.

What lesson can we take from here, young men who read these forums?!

Be smart and don't get married...

No, wait I mean, choose the right woman and this stuff will never happen to you!

Better yet, marry an overweight/homely looking woman and be the most physically attractive man she has ever been with!

Edited April 2, 2020 by Azincourt

[Blind-Sided]

1 hour ago, elaine567 said:

Oh dear...
Be very careful.

I'm trying my best to keep things in prospective. Than you for your concern.

[Blind-Sided]

15 hours ago, mark clemson said:

@Blind-Sided it very much sounds like you have "upgraded" and made some very sweet lemonade out of the lemons you were handed. Congrats!

I was just looking at my old surgery thread, since it kind of came up on this one... and you said this to me back then......

Posted April 23, 2019

Good luck B_S + hope you are ok. There are definitely rough patches in life - hope you eventually come out the other side of this one with flying colors.

It's been just a few weeks short of a year since then... but it looks like you were right. (Recovery from my surgery and was served my papers)

[Azincourt]

1 hour ago, Blind-Sided said:

I was just looking at my old surgery thread, since it kind of came up on this one... and you said this to me back then......

Posted April 23, 2019

Good luck B_S + hope you are ok. There are definitely rough patches in life - hope you eventually come out the other side of this one with flying colors.

It's been just a few weeks short of a year since then... but it looks like you were right. (Recovery from my surgery and was served my papers)

Glad to hear you're recovering from your surgery well.

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Your in your prime, why wouldnt a young woman be attracted to you? The key is to not let it get to your head... You see the same members in all these threads about young woman dating older men, theyre all defensive and resentful, because a man in his prime like you, is getting snatched up by a woman in her prime, something they cant compete with.

Two people in their prime, its a great thing, enjoy it.

[SummerDreams]

1 hour ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

You see the same members in all these threads about young woman dating older men, theyre all defensive and resentful, because a man in his prime like you, is getting snatched up by a woman in her prime, something they cant compete with.

That's a little unfair. When a female poster tells the OP to enjoy his relationship but also be careful, it's not because they are jealous or resentful that he chose the younger women and not the older woman (them for example). I can only speak for myself saying that I am not resentful or jealous of this young woman, I'm happily married and I am not interested in the OP or any other guy for that matter so I take it as an insult that you are presenting me (amongst other members here) as defensive and resentful when the only motive for my advise to the OP is me not wanting him to be hurt.

[Blind-Sided]

12 minutes ago, SummerDreams said:

.... so I take it as an insult that you are presenting me (amongst other members here) as defensive and resentful when the only motive for my advise to the OP is me not wanting him to be hurt.

I don't think anyone was singling you out.  Personally, I very much appreciate your input on this.  I had some personal cautions myself on this subject, and that's why I need to hear all sides of the story. Thank you for all your kind words.

 

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Well when... ever... are we gonna get to the part where "mom" finds out ???

 

(a week in Covid times is forever...   so I had to go back to figure out just where the heck  we were)

 

 

[Blind-Sided]

25 minutes ago, SincereOnlineGuy said:

Well when... ever... are we gonna get to the part where "mom" finds out ???

(a week in Covid times is forever...   so I had to go back to figure out just where the heck  we were)

She came over last night... and we had a COVID friendly date.  I have a fire table on my back porch, and we just kind of hung out.  That in itself was painful since we just entered into the physical part.  It was effort to not just say... "Heck with it".  LOL. But since she has been back to work... and I had to take my brother to the hospital on Wednesday (not COVID related) we figured it would be best to not get too close. 

So, one topic of the evening was... when do we say anything. Normally, I wouldn't care, and I know I would introduce her to my folks early. But, because of the prior relationship between her mom and I... I think we are going to hold off for a while.  Not to mention... with the COVID thing... it's not like we could go to her house, or sit at her desk to tell her.  But... I will give an update when it does happen.

Edited April 3, 2020 by Blind-Sided

[Foxhall]

UK posters will be familiar with the programme Escape to the Country, based on couples looking to buy impressively refurbished big country houses.

I happened to view this today and was mildly amused at today's couple- a relatively ordinary looking middle aged English chap with a stunning Russian wife who must be at least 20 years younger,

it seemed clearly obvious that the attraction between them was a chance of a life of riches and luxuries for this lady, while the guy was more than happy to splash his wealth on this beautiful young blonde,

Id imagine he will have a time of it keeping her happy but we wish him well 😊

 

 

[basil67]

10 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

The key is to not let it get to your head... You see the same members in all these threads about young woman dating older men, theyre all defensive and resentful, because a man in his prime like you, is getting snatched up by a woman in her prime, something they cant compete with.

I agree with @SummerDreams .  Advising a man or women to be careful is not about being defensive or holding resentment.  It's just an acknowledgement of the complexities of relationships and looking out for each other.  It's no different to advising people to be careful of religious differences, social differences, rebounds and all the other myriads of potential problems out there.  

[simpycurious]

On 4/3/2020 at 5:15 PM, Foxhall said:

UK posters will be familiar with the programme Escape to the Country, based on couples looking to buy impressively refurbished big country houses.

I happened to view this today and was mildly amused at today's couple- a relatively ordinary looking middle aged English chap with a stunning Russian wife who must be at least 20 years younger,

it seemed clearly obvious that the attraction between them was a chance of a life of riches and luxuries for this lady, while the guy was more than happy to splash his wealth on this beautiful young blonde,

Id imagine he will have a time of it keeping her happy but we wish him well 😊

 

 

It is NOT out of the realm of Possibility that a wealthy YOUNG man is pursed by a VERY attractive older woman.  I know of TWO instances of this transpiring right now.  Nobody thinks this is a big deal.  Why?

[basil67]

Well I think it's weird.  Surely they can't have that much in common.

[Timshel]

On 3/28/2020 at 9:58 AM, K.K. said:

The problem can arise with the coming of the years. As time goes by, the man will get older and instead of seeming virile and attractive, they may turn into grandpa with the limp dick and prostate problems while she will still be younger and at an advantage. Even though she is also older than she was. It’s always going to be a relationship to her advantage.

This dynamic is even worse in the older woman/ younger man scenario. Fun for a time. But not lasting, in my eyes. She’s going to get old looking and haggard. The man is very visual from what I understand and this will go badly for her. Her view of herself will suffer. If he stays, it’s most likely out of some sort of obligation. And in the times when he’s alone and hot and seeking self gratification,  he’ll most likely be thinking of that hard bodied 20 year old woman. Tell me I’m wrong. Maybe I’m just cynical.   

 

 

 

 

On 3/28/2020 at 12:12 PM, Blind-Sided said:

@K.K.

Wow... that's exactly what I was thinking, and you put out there perfectly. Thanks.

Wow, is right.  Given yours and some other's agreement with this post (I snipped a substantial amount of negativity out but the full post may be found on page 3) regarding this younger woman you are currently romantically involved with, I would advise you to leave her alone.  If you do choose to continue dating and sleeping with her, at least let her read this thread so she knows how you really feel.

[K.K.]

2 minutes ago, Timshel said:

 

Wow, is right.  Given yours and some other's agreement with this post (I snipped a substantial amount of negativity out but the full post may be found on page 3) regarding this younger woman you are currently romantically involved with, I would advise you to leave her alone.  If you do choose to continue dating and sleeping with her, at least let her read this thread so she knows how you really feel.

I mean which part didn’t you agree with though? (We both know which part though so .. ) 😉 (((hugs)))

I believe he’s states that he’s pretty much ecstatic at this point with his new younger woman and she him. Sure he has doubts. Any one does in any relationship don’t they? Especially one with such a huge age difference. That’s all I was saying. I don’t think he should leave her alone. I think he should ride it till the wheels fall off. 😃

 

 

[Timshel]

You are older than me K.K. so give yourself a hug. 😊  I am opposed to the people in a loving relationship bashing part.  'It's the only thing there's just too little of.'

[K.K.]

1 minute ago, Timshel said:

You are older than me K.K. so give yourself a hug. 😊  I am opposed to the people in a loving relationship bashing part.  'It's the only thing there's just too little of.'

I am? Hmm my apologies. I thought his posts said you were 20 years older than him so I figured he couldn’t possibly be a man in his 20’s. Ok well... in that case, you go girl ! 🤪 

 

[Timshel]

My husband is 36 and I am not 20 yrs. older than him; but I will take the go girl, any woman of any age with a good man should.

[Miss Spider]

One thing I experienced when dating a much older guy is that older men are really out of touch with a lot of things in current culture, which I do not like. It’s kind of like dating a guy my age who was living under a rock many years  or is very lame. lol 

Edited April 7, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Azincourt]

On 4/3/2020 at 3:53 PM, SummerDreams said:

That's a little unfair. When a female poster tells the OP to enjoy his relationship but also be careful, it's not because they are jealous or resentful that he chose the younger women and not the older woman (them for example). I can only speak for myself saying that I am not resentful or jealous of this young woman, I'm happily married and I am not interested in the OP or any other guy for that matter so I take it as an insult that you are presenting me (amongst other members here) as defensive and resentful when the only motive for my advise to the OP is me not wanting him to be hurt.

Sure, that might be the case, but you can't deny that there are a lot of middle-aged women and baby-bommer women who lose their marbles and will go on a rant about how the young women are only interested in the guy's money, that if he didn't spend money on those young women they wouldn't be able to sleep with them, which discards the reality that it's not like a guy turns 30 and booom, he loses his hairline, develops a beer gut, loses 6 inches in height, and has his face carved up with aging lines like he's the physical representation of the Grand Canyon.

They also seem to forget that just because you're in your 30s doesn't mean you're rich, and if you are in your 30s and ''broke'' you're just a bum that can't get women his own age, as many of them think that way.

On 4/3/2020 at 2:48 PM, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

Your in your prime, why wouldnt a young woman be attracted to you? The key is to not let it get to your head... You see the same members in all these threads about young woman dating older men, theyre all defensive and resentful, because a man in his prime like you, is getting snatched up by a woman in her prime, something they cant compete with.

Two people in their prime, its a great thing, enjoy it.

Nope.

A 25 year old man is in his prime.

Heck, a 30 year old man can still be in his prime, and have one-night stands with hot women who are 10 years younger than him, if he takes care of his hairline, skin, and body. But many guys around that age have a dad-body already(a body that is both skinny and overweight at the same time) or they're overweight, or they lack muscle tone, or they're balding and didn't save up money for a hair transplant.

I'm in my 30s and I can still get attractive women in their late teens and early 20s without using money, unlike my dad's friends who are in their 50s and 60s and only get with young women because they're paying for their cars, apartments, monthly expenses, designer clothes etc.

And the only reason I can still get hot young women is because I don't drink, I don't smoke, I have all of my hair, my face is as unlined as the rear-end of a 18 year old stripper, and I act like I'm still young, dress like a young man too.

If I was to lose  any of this, I'd probably have to rely on my family's money to get these women.

I'll never understand why older(men who are in their 40s and 50s and 60s) guys think they're in their prime because they have money.  They gain access to sex with a young woman by having money, but they'll never sexually satisfy those women, and be ready for those sugar-babies to go around banging guys their own age who actually get them sexually aroused.

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One thing I experienced when dating a much older guy is that older men are really out of touch with a lot of things in current culture, which I do not like. It’s kind of like dating a guy my age who was living under a rock many years  or is very lame. lol 

What do you mean by a ''much older guy'' ?

Most of these women are 10 to 14 years younger than me.

a generation is 20 years. Meaning,  these women and I are part of the same generation still. There's lots you can talk about with these guys, lots you can relate with etc etc, and that depends on what you are looking for.

I'm only interested in one-night-stands, hookups, friendships with benefits, and short-term relationships(lasting 1 to 3 months tops) so I'm not really concerned with any sort of emotional-spiritual-we didn't grow up-watching the simpsons-together omg we can't get married-  kind of connection, it's more in the lines of:

''Do you find me hot?''

''Awesome! I think you're hot too!''

''Let's smash!''

And then we never see each other again.

Rememeber. We're not all looking for the same things, and that's great, and that's beautiful, because we're all unique in our own special ways,  dudes and dudettes.

 

Edited April 7, 2020 by Azincourt

[Blind-Sided]

1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said:

One thing I experienced when dating a much older guy is that older men are really out of touch with a lot of things in current culture, which I do not like. It’s kind of like dating a guy my age who was living under a rock many years  or is very lame. lol 

I could absolutely see that as being a problem. In my case... I never passed my late 20's or early 30's mentally. LOL.  Sure... I may have to wear a tailored business suit at work, and have on a Movado watch... but you will see Mario socks poking out if you look.  Also... since I have a teen daughter, I'm introduced to anything new in pop-culture.  It's kind of funny... all her friends tell her that she has a "Cool Dad."  (Because I can talk about what they care about)

[Azincourt]

Growing up, when I was a teen,  having 5 sisters in the house, we'd have lots  of 18-22 year old women going inside and outside of the house all day, and not just once, but many times,I heard one of my sister's girlfriends say that my dad's hot (my dad was in his 40s).

If you guys hit the gym hard, don't smoke, don't drink, take care of getting hair transplant if your hair vanishes, and if y'all are willing to get plastic surgery to make yourself younger - I don't see why being 40 or 50, or 60, or 70 would keep you guys from getting with young women.

 

[Blind-Sided]

4 hours ago, Azincourt said:

....

If you guys hit the gym hard, don't smoke, don't drink, take care of getting hair transplant if your hair vanishes, and if y'all are willing to get plastic surgery to make yourself younger - ...

 

Why is it about vanity? I already don't have hair, and my beard is gray. (don't mean I have some gray... but it's all gray) BUT... I have deep blue eyes, and through my life I've heard a bunch of times how that's captured the attention of a girl.

Edited April 7, 2020 by Blind-Sided

[PRW]

18 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

One thing I experienced when dating a much older guy is that older men are really out of touch with a lot of things in current culture, which I do not like. It’s kind of like dating a guy my age who was living under a rock many years  or is very lame. lol 

As an "older guy",...just because I don't "do" everything the younger people do doesn't mean I am out of touch with the current culture.   I am well aware in great detail of what is going on with the current culture,...I just reject it, think they are being stupid, and consider myself smarter than they are.