Slightly intimidated by latest match who wants to talk on the phone

[max3732]

My latest match from OLD actually messaged me first and has a great education/career and is gorgeous with very professional looking pictures. So when I get the message I almost didn't reply back because I thought it was fake, but just in case I sent something back and I was surprised that we've had a great conversation on the app. Then we got to a point where I said I'd normally ask her out, but that's going to have to wait a bit because of this virus. She gave me her number and said she'd like to talk on the phone. 

What intimidates me a bit isn't her looks, but her career and education. Normally I'm the one who has the highest educational and career attainment, but she blows me out of the water. She started her own company, has an MBA, several other degrees, speaks 5 languages, has lived and worked in multiple countries and is also enrolled in medical school. In her profile she spends a lot of time talking about all her achievements. So I'm a bit afraid she's going to think I'm not up to her standards since I don't match her on the education front. 

My only saving grace is that she doesn't mention any kind of educational requirement for the guy she's hoping to find. She just says she wants a good person who wants to start a family. 

I really hate doing a phone call before meeting. What should I talk about if we do end up chatting?

[preraph]

And she still could be fake or a catfish or something.  I recommend you talk to her and then Facetime.  

[Foxhall]

don't be intimidated, a lady like this will read you very quick and understand your quirks, so its no time for bulls***.

sometimes achievers (what is an achiever- that could be a thread) especially if they came from a humble background, well they can be happy enough with an ordinary /decent guy,

that's how you play it on the phone, just get across you can hold a conversation and are decent.

[The Outlaw]

Hell of a resume. Talk to her over the phone first and see where to go from there. But if it all seems too good to be true, it usually is. 

[Gr8fuln2020]

I hope she is real. Sounds too good to be true. Exchanging numbers so quickly on her part and she is hot, professional, advanced degree and she contacted you first....whoohoo! Again, I hope she is real, but....

[basil67]

If she is real, one of the reasons that she's single is all that boasting about her achievements.   Ugh.  Yuck.

[Cookiesandough]

Could be catfish. I’m sure right now it’s rife with theM because you literally can’t meet 

[Interstellar]

Maybe you hit the lottery. Hey, if it happens might as well be you right? Just keep the conversation positive and uplifting. Avoid politics, race, sex, and religion. Because that could easily blow up in your face, especially over the phone.

And don’t keep your interest level and hopes high since she could be fake too.

Edited March 24, 2020 by Interstellar

[ccas93]

You know it's funny you post this, because after the last date I went on, I decided I would no longer care/be impressed by someone's job title or education. Having a good career or education does not automatically mean they possess elite intelligence or even have much substance or social skills. Give it a shot, sometimes these people are equally afraid of being "found out" as you are of being perceived as inadequate by them. Sometimes you meet "bums" who are for more informed and interesting to talk to than these total package types. 

Edited March 24, 2020 by ccas93

[preraph]

Yeah next he'll probably find out she's rich but all her money is stuck in some foreign country.

[Wanderlust2018]

@max3732 I hate to sound or seem pessimistic here, and genuinely wish you all the best, but I’d be REAL skeptical. First, she initiated the conversation? Sure, it happens...but... Also, she’s enrolled in medical school and is looking to date? I have a background and career in medicine and she is not going to have a heck of a lot of time for anyone or anything if she’s “truly” starting med school. Where was she accepted? Is it anywhere even near where you and she are!?!? It’s pretty rare (but happens) that a person is accepted to the med school right in their own backyard anyway, which would likely mean a move for her...if, and a big if in my opinion, she’s legit. I’m also wondering why the ongoing dive into education (and a long pathway in that regard) given her credentials of having an MBA and starting/owning a business? Yeah, sure, there’s some overachievers out there and lifelong students...but...this whole thing would make me really question everything. Just my $0.02 worth...

[chillii]

Yeah , she still could be fake . lf she's not though and apart from that stuff you like her a lot , see some serious potential and stuff , won't hurt to talk , best way imo. Not everyone like that is some hard ass cold fish , l know someone and she's gorgeous inside and out , very warm and feminine . Some of  the women running huge company's banks and stuff still have it too , most look and act like what they are but not all. On the other hand , personally though the reason l wouldn't be interested is bc l like a chilled warm take it fkg easy woman , and someone like that def' isn't the last bit , usually couldn't be if she tried, so tht'd be my main , and that she might be on my case to become some high achiever too and ; ain't interested.

[max3732]

9 hours ago, Wanderlust2018 said:

@max3732 I hate to sound or seem pessimistic here, and genuinely wish you all the best, but I’d be REAL skeptical. First, she initiated the conversation? Sure, it happens...but... Also, she’s enrolled in medical school and is looking to date? I have a background and career in medicine and she is not going to have a heck of a lot of time for anyone or anything if she’s “truly” starting med school. Where was she accepted? Is it anywhere even near where you and she are!?!? It’s pretty rare (but happens) that a person is accepted to the med school right in their own backyard anyway, which would likely mean a move for her...if, and a big if in my opinion, she’s legit. I’m also wondering why the ongoing dive into education (and a long pathway in that regard) given her credentials of having an MBA and starting/owning a business? Yeah, sure, there’s some overachievers out there and lifelong students...but...this whole thing would make me really question everything. Just my $0.02 worth...

You're right it's probably some kind of scam, but I guess it doesn't hurt to chat with her and see where it goes. If she's not not telling the truth you think she could be a gold digger or someone after identity theft? Just someone bored under quarantine trying to mess with me?

She says she is in pre med and recently moved to my area for school. They actually do have a good med school near me so I guess it's possible. Now she's doing classes online due to the quarantine. Is there any way to test her over text before talking? I have my MBA and when I was in grad school there were people from other areas that switched career paths. Maybe she wants to move from business to medicine? These are all questions I would ask of her.

In going through her photos now they almost look good enough to come from a magazine. No bathroom selfies here. Just from the incredible pics I was on guard.

When we moved from the app to texting she's sending much shorter messages that aren't even full sentences. So I'm definitely on full guard here

[balletomane]

It's always a good idea to be prudent, but make sure you're prudent about the right things. People often are much more brief when texting on their phones and that isn't a red flag in itself. When I was using OLD I logged on with my laptop if I wanted to send a longish message. If I'm on my phone I keep it shorter.

The magazine-style photos seem much more of a red flag. I'd try doing a reverse image search on them and see if they appear elsewhere on the Internet.

[chillii]

Yeah the pics sound suss, l had a few back when , did reverse google search on pics, one turned out to be of some famous russian gymnast , two others , couldn't find anything on their pics but the pics didn't look right in the end and l passed on both.

She might be real , but the pics and all her quals don't sound right .

Edited March 24, 2020 by chillii

[max3732]

1 hour ago, balletomane said:

It's always a good idea to be prudent, but make sure you're prudent about the right things. People often are much more brief when texting on their phones and that isn't a red flag in itself. When I was using OLD I logged on with my laptop if I wanted to send a longish message. If I'm on my phone I keep it shorter.

The magazine-style photos seem much more of a red flag. I'd try doing a reverse image search on them and see if they appear elsewhere on the Internet.

I did a reverse image search and nothing came up. 

[basil67]

Given all the boasting she does about the things she's done/achieved, is she old enough to realistically have achieved it all?

On a side note, kind of shocked that a pretty face will keep a fellow persisting when there's so many other red flags.  

[max3732]

On 3/24/2020 at 5:37 PM, basil67 said:

Given all the boasting she does about the things she's done/achieved, is she old enough to realistically have achieved it all?

On a side note, kind of shocked that a pretty face will keep a fellow persisting when there's so many other red flags.  

Well it's a low investment on my part. If she was asking me to drive really far to meet her or wire her money or anything like that I'd obviously run for the hills.

I actually did speak with her on the phone last night and seems to be legit. I asked her about those red flags and she had an answer for everything. From the way she talked I could tell she was educated and I asked her more details about her business and desire to go into medicine and she explained everything. One thing I can't verify from the call is whether she actually looks like the pictures. I'm almost tempted to ask her for a more casual picture that doesn't look like it was in a fashion magazine, but don't know how to do it without sounding like a creep.

Another thing is we can't meet up because of this virus so now what? Despite my best attempt to not be nervous I still had some nervousness come through and sometimes started to talk over her or and had some awkwardness. So I don't know if if she's still interested in me or not

[SumGuy]

Guess you can see why she is having a hard time, no one believes she is real.   Seems like a very odd story to spin if cat fishing.   

Seriously do you have anything to lose by talking over the phone?  Im guessing not so why all the hand wringing.  

I do like the face time idea so you can get non-verbal cues.   Bonus can see if she looks like her pics, and you yours. 

As to conversation, well bet she is looking for smart men who are not intimidated and  can hold their own conversationally   I’m guessing this since your profile has a lot about your education  

As an aside she doesn’t seem too accomplished to be real, smart, can do people, who have their act together, can accomplish a lot.  
 

PS bet she had no problem reading 228 words in your profile.

Edited March 26, 2020 by SumGuy

[SumGuy]

5 hours ago, max3732 said:

I actually did speak with her on the phone last night and seems to be legit. I asked her about those red flags and she had an answer for everything. From the way she talked I could tell she was educated and I asked her more details about her business and desire to go into medicine and she explained everything.

Guess should have read all the posts before posting...hope she gives you a chance..as they say she was rooting for you.

I really, really hope you asked in a manner that showed curiosity and not one where you were wondering if it was true...just from the general contours you outlined nothing is a red flag for an accomplished person by the time they are in their 30s, or even late 20s if they have a bit of good fortune. 

 

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One thing I can't verify from the call is whether she actually looks like the pictures. I'm almost tempted to ask her for a more casual picture that doesn't look like it was in a fashion magazine, but don't know how to do it without sounding like a creep.

Another thing is we can't meet up because of this virus so now what? Despite my best attempt to not be nervous I still had some nervousness come through and sometimes started to talk over her or and had some awkwardness. So I don't know if if she's still interested in me or not

Well these two quotes go together.  Without visual ques people who are strangers will often interrupt each other over the phone, especially when nervous.  Hence, one thing you cna do is admit you are not great over the phone in a personal until you know someone because you lack those visual ques, hence a request for facetime....and perhaps can do a bit of a virtual tour of you home/life or something...something fun.  Also facetime is like virtual date in this time of coronavirus.

 

Don't ask for pictures.  Stop acting like she is fake and needs to prove herself.  Why you ask?  Think a few moves ahead. 

Say she is fake, so what, it is just over the phone a a few meetings will prove it out well enough, and as long as there are no asking for money or other real red flags, what do you have to lose except for the cost of a dinner someday.

Say she is all she says, then you could just end up offending her and or come across small minded or not getting it (as in you will never fit in her world as your mind can't grasp that such a world exists...it feels it must be fake).    

 

Edited March 26, 2020 by SumGuy
tried to remove quote mess up

[max3732]

31 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Guess should have read all the posts before posting...hope she gives you a chance..as they say she was rooting for you.

I really, really hope you asked in a manner that showed curiosity and not one where you were wondering if it was true...just from the general contours you outlined nothing is a red flag for an accomplished person by the time they are in their 30s, or even late 20s if they have a bit of good fortune. 

 

 

Yep, I asked about it in a way to show I was curious and that was after some of the initial awkwardness so I think it actually flowed smoothly during the conversation. I wasn't quite sure about it, but I asked her if she'd like to meet when everything gets back to normal and she said yes. So I guess I did better than I thought on the phone!

You're right that she was able to actually read my profile. She even mentioned on the call she liked it (I never asked her). So my current one can't be too bad.

Now I've hopefully got 3 dates lined up for when this virus is over. I just have to hope they don't lose interest until then.

[SumGuy]

2 minutes ago, max3732 said:

Yep, I asked about it in a way to show I was curious and that was after some of the initial awkwardness so I think it actually flowed smoothly during the conversation. I wasn't quite sure about it, but I asked her if she'd like to meet when everything gets back to normal and she said yes. So I guess I did better than I thought on the phone!

You're right that she was able to actually read my profile. She even mentioned on the call she liked it (I never asked her). So my current one can't be too bad.

Now I've hopefully got 3 dates lined up for when this virus is over. I just have to hope they don't lose interest until then.

That's great!    Your profile attracted a unicorn (they are real...however, just like the mythical beast they avoid the unworthy) it sounds like...keep being you.   You could still ask her for a facetime meeting/date.