Saoyun Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 So there's this girl that I really like. The thing is I never paid any attention to her until she started to talk to me. Then I followed her on Instagram and she texted me, and from there we hit it off really well and we kept on talking back and forth. At school she kept on giving me hints to go to her, she always came by my classroom during lunch we talked about everything. So naturally I thought she was also into me,but she said she had a boyfriend but the relationship wasn't go going so well, so I decided to shoot my shot, she rejected me. Since then I haven't talked to her or texted her. I dont know If i should continue communicating with her or just stop which is really hard. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 (edited) It depends, can you see this person as just a friend and be exposed to her dating other people. The reason why nc is recommended, is so that the other person can heal. It's impossible to move on from a relationship that will never happen if you are constantly exposed to being led on and rejected. You have to decide if you are strong enough to be friends with this person while accepting nothing is ever going to happen between you and her. Edited March 24, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
Author Saoyun Posted March 25, 2020 Author Share Posted March 25, 2020 15 hours ago, Realitysux said: It depends, can you see this person as just a friend and be exposed to her dating other people. The reason why nc is recommended, is so that the other person can heal. It's impossible to move on from a relationship that will never happen if you are constantly exposed to being led on and rejected. You have to decide if you are strong enough to be friends with this person while accepting nothing is ever going to happen between you and her. The thing is i don't think that we can really be friends seeing that she kept on giving me these really obvious signs and in my mind i want her as a partner not a friend from the start, And the thing about her dating other people is that i would be ok with it but the way she rejected me seemed bizarre it was as if she thought i was going to play her, she was surprised. I'm just really confused on what to do >_< Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 (edited) Sometimes when we like someone, we look for things that aren't there and we read too far into things. If I were you, I would let it go and do nothing. When in doubt do nothing is probably the best advice I ever heard. I have to follow it more! I think you need to set goals in your life on your own. As you achieve them then you gain more confidence in yourself. You don't gain confidence by someone else's approval of you. Respect is also earned. I don't know if I'm giving you advice you don't need but it's what helped me. I would do absolutely nothing at the moment but use this forum and find support. Start by asking yourself if this women was not around, what would make you happy. You can chose to reply and answer that but you don't have to. Edited March 25, 2020 by Realitysux 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 ^^^^^^ correct. She may have just been friendly. Guys tend to project. I’m attracted to her so she must be attracted to me too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Maybe you were her backup plan. Or maybe as you began to talk, she realized she only liked you as a friend and nothing more, though at first she was attracted to you. But you know, that happens. Sometimes you begin to only like someone as a friend. Anyway, she rejected you and is now saying she has a boyfriend, so if I were you, I would not just hang around because it might stop other women from taking an interest in you. Sorry. Baffling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Saoyun Posted March 26, 2020 Author Share Posted March 26, 2020 18 hours ago, Realitysux said: Sometimes when we like someone, we look for things that aren't there and we read too far into things. If I were you, I would let it go and do nothing. When in doubt do nothing is probably the best advice I ever heard. I have to follow it more! I think you need to set goals in your life on your own. As you achieve them then you gain more confidence in yourself. You don't gain confidence by someone else's approval of you. Respect is also earned. I don't know if I'm giving you advice you don't need but it's what helped me. I would do absolutely nothing at the moment but use this forum and find support. Start by asking yourself if this women was not around, what would make you happy. You can chose to reply and answer that but you don't have to. To be honest if she wasn't around I'd probably be the same guy only less anxious about waiting for her to text me which she did yesterday btw and the things she said are so confusing like freakishly confusing she's still flirting with me despite rejecting me. Now I'm getting really suspiciously that she's trying to make me look like a fool. I say this because at school she usually came with this tall ass dude ( stereotypical popular dude) and they acted so weird like looking at me and laughing or hell even pointing at me. And she texts me? Saying stuff like I don't know why we stopped talking I like talking to you. I hope you understand why I might feel like she has feelings for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Saoyun Posted March 26, 2020 Author Share Posted March 26, 2020 18 hours ago, preraph said: Maybe you were her backup plan. Or maybe as you began to talk, she realized she only liked you as a friend and nothing more, though at first she was attracted to you. But you know, that happens. Sometimes you begin to only like someone as a friend. Anyway, she rejected you and is now saying she has a boyfriend, so if I were you, I would not just hang around because it might stop other women from taking an interest in you. Sorry. Baffling. Could be that I was her backup plan yes but I'm not really sure that I like her as a friend... because I dont talk to her same way I talk to my friends. Idk if that makes sense Link to post Share on other sites
Author Saoyun Posted March 26, 2020 Author Share Posted March 26, 2020 18 hours ago, Marc878 said: ^^^^^^ correct. She may have just been friendly. Guys tend to project. I’m attracted to her so she must be attracted to me too. Could be that I thought of it that way but c'mon what kind of girl looks out of the bio lab just to get a glimpse of you multiple times or who openly flirts with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 Men look, flirt but that doesn’t mean they are going to dump their current girlfriend does it? She may find you attractive but it doesn’t mean she’s going to end her current relationship for a date. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 You're just wasting your time if you keep pursuing her. If I were you I would hold on to my dignity and let her go. She's not going to change her mind. That just isn't how it works. She's already decided. Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 2 hours ago, Saoyun said: To be honest if she wasn't around I'd probably be the same guy only less anxious about waiting for her to text me which she did yesterday btw and the things she said are so confusing like freakishly confusing she's still flirting with me despite rejecting me. Now I'm getting really suspiciously that she's trying to make me look like a fool. I say this because at school she usually came with this tall ass dude ( stereotypical popular dude) and they acted so weird like looking at me and laughing or hell even pointing at me. And she texts me? Saying stuff like I don't know why we stopped talking I like talking to you. I hope you understand why I might feel like she has feelings for me. She doesn't sound like a very nice person. I'm not sure why you still like her! But this guy does similar to me so I get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Saoyun Posted March 27, 2020 Author Share Posted March 27, 2020 13 hours ago, Realitysux said: She doesn't sound like a very nice person. I'm not sure why you still like her! But this guy does similar to me so I get it. So should I tell her to stop texting me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Saoyun Posted March 27, 2020 Author Share Posted March 27, 2020 14 hours ago, preraph said: You're just wasting your time if you keep pursuing her. If I were you I would hold on to my dignity and let her go. She's not going to change her mind. That just isn't how it works. She's already decided. So I should tell her to stop texting me? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 It's only going to keep you stirred up if your getting texts from her because she's okay being friends. it doesn't sound like your emotions are such that you can just be friends with her so yes you're going to have to just block her tell her I don't want to be just friends so I don't think we should do this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Saoyun Posted March 27, 2020 Author Share Posted March 27, 2020 2 hours ago, preraph said: It's only going to keep you stirred up if your getting texts from her because she's okay being friends. it doesn't sound like your emotions are such that you can just be friends with her so yes you're going to have to just block her tell her I don't want to be just friends so I don't think we should do this. Alright man thanks alot for the advice much appreciated. I'm going to be upfront with her Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 I'm sorry it didn't work out. We've all had this happened to us so don't feel bad about yourself. It's happened to literally every one of us. especially the first time you love someone you just think that it's destined that they love you back but unfortunately that is just a fairytale and it rarely ever works that way. You sound like a real nice guy though, and one day you will find the right one. In the meantime no point wasting time on the wrong one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Saoyun Posted March 27, 2020 Author Share Posted March 27, 2020 1 minute ago, preraph said: I'm sorry it didn't work out. We've all had this happened to us so don't feel bad about yourself. It's happened to literally every one of us. especially the first time you love someone you just think that it's destined that they love you back but unfortunately that is just a fairytale and it rarely ever works that way. You sound like a real nice guy though, and one day you will find the right one. In the meantime no point wasting time on the wrong one. Yeah man. I'll be sure to hit you up if I get any problems regarding stuff like this Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 I'm a woman, by the way. You can come update us anytime and keep us posted! Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, Saoyun said: So should I tell her to stop texting me Don't even tell her just block her and stop responding to her immediately. She doesn't deserve to be told even! I'm blocking people too right now. I'm almost positive it gets easier and you start to feel better after a few days! We're all here when you need to talk. Edited March 27, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 (edited) You don't love her. You said her and someone else were pointing at you and laughing at you. Look at all the questions that she has you asking yourself. Someone who loves you would never do that to you! It's going to be hard but you will get over it. When someone tells you to move on, it's not that it's easy and somethings wrong with you, it's so she can't affect your feelings and continue to hurt you anymore! It sucks but like another user said, we all have gone through it. You just have to man up and move on! Edited March 27, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 Yeah I agree not to tell her anything. She know she rejected you so she's already knowing the reason. Just block her and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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