Living through self-isolation without your partner

[hippychick3]

So my fiance and I have been together for 6 1/2 years. He lives 3 hours away but typically is here every weekend (Friday-Monday). If he is not here, I am there. We basically live in both places. However, neither of us have a good workspace at each other's place and since we are both now working from home, we can't spend the weekdays together despite having the ability to now work wherever we want. In the areas we live, we are currently shelter-in-place. We cannot leave unless it's for groceries or doctor/pharmacy. My issue is that he is handling this much better than I am. Now, I am not complaining or whining or coming across as needy in any way. But I really miss the companionship and am sad that I do not know how long it will be until we can see each other. But, I'm even more sad that he does not seem really sad about it. I think this isolation is really getting to me lately even though I talk and text people/friends all day for work. My daughter and I have been stuck at home self-isolating longer than the shelter-in-place due to her having symptoms (which we just found out today are not from COVID). Please tell me if I'm being oversensitive right now. He will say he misses me and misses being in the same house, but he genuinely comes across as happy and not at all concerned how long it may be until we see each other again. A part of me wants him to just say he will figure out how to work here just to be here, but he is adament he needs to be in his workspace to really do a good job. And I get that because even if my daughter was not with me, I could not work there in his place. I am realizing that as independent as I am, I need more together time than he does and am thus feeling less connected to him lately. And that worries me.

[UniverseInMe]

We're all feeling the psychological effects of isolation too sweetie, so don't even worry too much about it. We're all going through this together. Believe me, your finance is feeling it to some degree too, maybe not as much, but he is. This problem will go away one day and hopefully sooner rather than later. Meanwhile just make sure to appreciate what you have because there are a lot who are suffering much, much worse. You guys are actually the lucky ones so count your blessings. Until then stay strong, positive, follow guidelines and try your best to make the best of what you got because at this point we have absolutely no choice but to. Who knows, despite the tragedy, something magical might rear its head after we've moved past this as a human race. Lets keep our fingers crossed and prayers strong for the weak.

Good luck!

[chillii]

Well , for a start needing and missing each other especially at a time like this , is hardly needy , despite all the internet bullshyt trying to tell the world there's something wrong with them if they do  . lt's what any normal loving couple would be feeling and feel all the time matter of fact there's something wrong if you don't , not if you do.. Here we've just gone into lock down 4days ago my gf was still 12hours away on work , we didn't think she'd be able to fly in or even get a flight but we booked one 3 days ago and prayed. THe airline cancelled that one and the next but she got here 2am last night with 25 other people on a 300 passenger plane , thank God in the end , we were amazed they didn't cancel that flight too it'd probably be mths if she didn't make it and we'd already been apart 5mths.  Not to mention going through this 12 hours apart , not nice.

your fiance , it's hard to say , slight chance he might be just facing the long haul alone, do you usually miss each other . But on the surface yeah , it would seem like he's doing fine sorry

[FMW]

You're not being overly sensitive, or at least not more than any of the rest of us are at this time!

Maybe your fiance is being pragmatic and focusing on just doing what has to be done and not expressing his emotions.  Is he normally more expressive, or is this typical?

I think feeling less connected to him while being apart for this unknown amount of time is normal.  Most people need face to face and physical contact with their significant other to maintain the connection at the strongest level.  You've been together 6 1/2 years, I think you probably have what it takes to get through this just fine.  He's just at least outwardly handling this difficult time in a more resigned manner.

 

[smackie9]

Hey everyone is just simply feeling bummed out. Just do something about it. Instead of thinking of the negative, see what you can do to improve someone's life and help others out that have no one, like the elderly that can't get to the store or make a sign of something inspirational and display it in your window...all those neat things that people do to lift spirits. I feel people focus way too much on the gloom and doom and how it's affecting your life...don't let this crap get you down.

[stillafool]

Some people have no problem with being isolated as it gives them time to think and do the things they've wanted to do for a long time.  I'm one of those people so maybe your bf is the same way.

[Gaeta]

I'm sorry you feel that way hippychick: I am sure he does miss being with you but he's not too verbal about it. Men feel they've got to be the strong ones and not appear disturbed with events. Take time to video chat each day, that's better than texting. 

[hippychick3]

Thanks, everyone. I’m very aware of what’s going on. I am glued to the news when not on video conference calls. I literally cry at least once a day hearing about the increased deaths from the virus. I think we all need that love and support from loved ones to get through this mentally. For him, he gives that and is able to receive that through phone calls/FaceTime/texting. I just also need it through physical touch after a period of time. 
 

I know we will get through this. Just needed to vent somewhere. 

[Foxhall]

Ah yes I empathise with you,

My girl is two hours away and our meetups are being slightly restricted and likely will be more restricted now over the next number of weeks,

we did not realise how good we have it normally with freedom to come and go as we choose.

the frustrating thing I find is I am being prevented from seeing the person I want to see, but seemingly cannot escape the clutches of a certain work client who just wants to take over my time no matter what I try to do to fob them off!😐