should a guy express their feelings ?

[poppyfields]

salparadise beat me to it but yeah, some sort of mental illness or disorder like  Bipolar and Borderline, research it, her symptoms are all there and bipolar and borderline also work in conjunction with each other.

Histrionic comes to mind too.  

Edited May 14, 2020 by poppyfields

[Timshel]

Oh Noes, let's not do that, labeling...slapping my own hand, just no.  LS is no place for diagnosis.  It seems that OP has a good reason for separating from his wife but for some reason has not.  It takes two to tango.  OP, separate and mean it, physically separate for real.

[poppyfields]

Oh I agree, just something to consider and maybe research if interested. 

Knowledge is power.  The more knowledge we have, the better understanding we have which allows us to make better choices and decisions for ourselves, what's best for us. 

[rjc149]

On 3/26/2020 at 7:07 AM, wtm78 said:

i notice that when i am trying to communicate to my wife if she has done something that hurt my feelings, she will very quickly cut me off before letting me complete what i am trying to say and tell me i should not feel hurt because xxxx.... 

Sounds like a lack of respect to me, which is probably a result of you not being firm and enforcing boundaries overall. 

Don't be whiny and ask her to sit down with you because you wanna talk about your feeeeeewings. 

When she cuts you off and disrespects you, get her attention immediately with a loud "Whoa whoa! Stop cutting me off like that! I'm telling you something you need to hear, so let me finish and stop interrupting." Get a little aggressive if you need to, but make sure you are commanding her attention. Be a man. Then calmly, but firmly, tell her how you feel, how she made you feel, and what she can do to correct whatever mistake she made. 

If she sneers that off still by telling you're overreacting, don't rise to the bait. Walk away. Leave the house and cool off for a bit. When you come back, make it very clear in a calm way things are not cool, and won't be cool, until she acknowledges how she made you feel, and pledges to correct it in the future. Then you can make up.  

If she has repeatedly demonstrated that she has no interest in conflict resolution with you, you can safely conclude that you married the wrong woman and take the necessary steps forward from that conclusion. 

Edited May 14, 2020 by rjc149

[Fair]

I only read your initial post, not the whole thread.

This is common behaviour among a lot of people. Express your feelings by all means and don't let yourself be silenced. We have to teach people how to treat us, and your wife has learned it's okay not to respect you. You can change that. If you can't... well, I know I wouldn't be able to live with someone who dismisses my feelings and doesn't respect what I have to say. Huge turn off.

[Pumaza]

Even animals express their feelings.lol

So sure a man should. Everyone should but it best in a healthy way.Dont know what age you are talking about, but its rude for people to say such things.

Denying peoples feelings is a form of abuse and a thing narcistic people do.

But your wife could be just rude or ddnt learn to listen.

And you may need a bot of help voicing your opinion if this happens alot to you.

Ask your best freind and one close family member for feedback about your communication.

 

[Pumaza]

Talk about it with your wife.Let her know how it makes you feel.

And is it something she do with everyone?

[Miss Spider]

It’s not really about man/woman ... most people don’t like to hear people whine and complain about their feelings, unfortunately . And to your second point, a lot of people tend to ‘interject’ before others are finished talking too. Just is. 

Edited May 28, 2020 by Cookiesandough