blackendangel13 Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 Ok so I am really into this guy from my college. He has been sitting next to me for the past few weeks and we talk the entire class. We flirt and laugh all the time. He acts like he is into me. He smiles at me a lot, compliments me, and opens doors for me. Well the other day in class he took my pen so I took his phone. I sat and looked at his pictures on it (with him there of course, I wasn't being shady about it) and there were about 15/60 pics that were of this chick and about 5 more that were of him and this chick. Is it safe to assume this is his girlfriend? It makes sense, otherwise why would he have so many pictures of her? There were a lot more of her than of his other friends. I just find it weird how he made it a point in a story to stress an EX-Girlfriend and has made it sound like he is single. Am I just being weird or is this normal? Out of 60 pics in my digital camera maybe 4 of them are of my ex and those are because I am in them and look darn good lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 She could be anyone. Ask. And if you're interested ask him out for a coffee or something. Photos are memories, and that may be all she is. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 he says she's the ex, then so she is. Why do you have to second guess him? If he's got something to hide, you wouldn't even get as as far as lookin' into his picture folder. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted October 7, 2005 Author Share Posted October 7, 2005 He never said "she" was the ex. Just stressed the words "ex girlfriend" in a story. I don't think he has anything to hide at all. He has no reason yet, its not like he is making a huge move on me. I wasn't being sneaky looking through his pictures. He was sitting next to me while I was looking and had showed me some pics from his phone the class before. I have dropped hints like mad about us going out. I actually invited him to sushi with my friends but he hasn't taken me up on it. He suggested we do something but didn't follow through with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 So ask who the girl in the pics is. It could be his sister Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 He never said "she" was the ex. Just stressed the words "ex girlfriend" in a story.. .... as good as sayin' it. I don't think he has anything to hide at all. He has no reason yet, its not like he is making a huge move on me. I wasn't being sneaky looking through his pictures. He was sitting next to me while I was looking and had showed me some pics from his phone the class before. Exactly. Guy's got nothin' to hide. So ask who the girl in the pics is. It could be his sister. no way Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 no way My point being, that it could be anyone. If you don't ask the question, you won't get the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted October 7, 2005 Author Share Posted October 7, 2005 I'd feel incredibly weird asking who she was, especially now since it will have been almost a week. I am pretty confident by the pictures its not his sister lol. I don't have siblings myself but they don't look like bro/sis in the pics. I think I will just let it go. If I ask him out and he says he has a girlfriend then I have my answer. I will be sorely dissppointed though at the way he lets me carry on lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted November 18, 2005 Author Share Posted November 18, 2005 Ok now I am REALLY confused. About two weeks after I posted this I went out with the guy from my class. Well actually he kind of jumped in the car with me because I was going to see a band he really liked. We hung out all night and had such a blast. A few weeks ago I took him out to my fave restaraunt and we had a blast again. We are very opposite but have such a good time together. We laugh and flirt constantly. Well, on the way to eat he mentioned he just broke up with his girlfriend a few days earlier! I KNEW THE CHICK IN THE PHONE WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND. Everyone told me I was crazy. He hid her from me well without actually hiding it. He took great care NOT to mention her. Well we went out again last night. I took him to my friends show and we had fun. He informed me he had gotten back together with her and talked about the problems they were having. I asked if she was cool with him hanging out with me (because if I was her I wouldn't be) and he said she had gotten mad and stopped talking to him that day so she had no idea he was out with me. Not only that but he blew off other plans to hang out with me. When we hang out there is a lot of flirting. He is always complimenting me and picking on me in a playful way. We are laughing the whole time. But I really don't know what to think of the whole thing. I mean I like him but honestly could care less if he leaves her for me because I am trying to win back my ex. He said he'd never cheat on her or anything and I probably wouldn't let him, but there is a lot of sexual tension and I have a feeling the more we hang out the more it will be there. But I don't want to stop hanging out because we have fun together. Should I feel bad about his emotional connection with me? I am worried for his sake because I know to some emotional infidelity is worse than physical. I am single but seeing an ex. If we get back together I am afraid I will have to stop seeing my new friend. I need some insight here. Link to post Share on other sites
Judas Christian Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 If you want to cut through all the crap and get down to the truth of the matter, talk about it. Don't play guessing games in your head and don't let him do it either - trying to read each other without openly discussing what's going on will only drive you nuts. Instead, sit him down and ask him what direction the two of you are going in. Is his intention for you to only be a friend? Ask yourself the same question about him so you know where you stand. Basically you need to create a situation where you know exactly what his intentions are and vice versa, including these exes or currents or whatever they are to each of you. TALK, rather than "read." You're sending each other mixed signals, sounds like, so move away from morse code and start speaking your native language. That's about all I can tell you. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 Should I feel bad about his emotional connection with me? I am worried for his sake because I know to some emotional infidelity is worse than physical. I am single but seeing an ex. If we get back together I am afraid I will have to stop seeing my new friend. I need some insight here. Let's see.... uhm, I'm not sure what your question is. He digs you enough to hang out with you. But now he wants to go back to his girl. You wanna get back with your ex. Why should you feel bad? Unless you wanna be his f***-chick, you shouldn't be going back to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Moai Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 I wouldn't even think about it that much. He has a relationship with someone else, even though he is lying to her and blowing her off, and you want to be with your ex. It's great that you are attracted to him and it sounds like he is to you, but neither of you are in a position to commit tothe other, it seems. So let it be what it is, try to get your ex back or whatver you want to do, and relax. If you have equal feelings for this new guy and your ex, you need to decide between them and then go for it and don't look back. Maybe you'll get hurt, maybe you won't, but at least you'll be going in some direction. Otherwise, you'l just be torturing yourself for no reason. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Blackened, I'm afraid I didn't get what the question was either but I do have a response. lol To me it's a no-brainer. This guy is a putz. He doesn't know what to do with his current girlfriend so he's trying to string you along to have something waiting in case it doesn't work out. That in itself speaks volumes of his lack of integrity and relationship material. Also, he's lied by omission. Come on now. He should have told you at some point before, during or after the flirtation. He's just a putz. Thank god it doesn't sound like you're all that into him anyway or there'd be a real problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted November 21, 2005 Author Share Posted November 21, 2005 Ha! Putz! That made my day! Thanks for all the responses. I (for lack of a better word) enjoy him and his company but I don't want him for me. He wants me because I am new and different. He has been with his gf for about 5 years, so its pretty much golden that he will go back to her if anything did happen between us. I just feel bad because I think about others feelings and somehow I think I will get the blame for breaking them up if he leaves her. I know I shouldn't care because its not my fault he is lying to her and whatever, but I still have a little shred that feels bad. I was with my ex last night and if the two of them stood side-by-side it would be no contest. I am so in love with my ex. I think I am just going to sit tight and enjoy my friends company until the time comes that I either get back with my ex or don't. I don't want the friend because I will be the rebound chick and how much fun is that? I guess I am just seeing emotional infidelity at its finest and I feel bad to be a part of it eventhough I am kind of an innocent party. Would it be bad of me to ask to meet the gf? I don't want to be "sneaking around" in this friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
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