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How is your relationship in isolation?


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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

This is a really great time as a man to develop relationships; every woman I come across right now is dying to have a conversation with somebody, anybody. I am sure you all saw the videos of all the young adults at the beach having a good time, regardless of COVID-19 and that is a very accurate representation of young people's thought process towards this time, they are trying to have sex more than ever right now.

Sure, we are going to lose some people, but on the whole, COVID-19 is going to do our societies more good than harm, simply because it is preparing us for a viral threat that could threaten the well being of people unhealthy or healthy alike

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For us it's much the same as we both work at home and live all the same ways so we're very content just roaming around the house and doing our thing anyway as we always are, So really for us it's not much different on that note cept for quick stints out for food and stuff now instead of 1/2 or whole days out for a roam as we usually would while we're at it. And not seeing my daughter as often is starting to hurt too. The real situation out in the world and the reasons it's all happening is a whole nother sad and worrying matter though , that's always in the back of our minds , especially with the eeriness out there now of when we do go out. Not to mention the 2am 3hour stint down to pick her up at the airport this time being the only one on the road and her being only one of 25 passengers on a 300 person plane in the middle of the night in all this too. Usually love night drives but this was a whole nother animal.

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Kitty Tantrum

My marriage is fine. All of my relationships are strained by constant proximity, though. Isolation in my house is SEVEN PEOPLE (me, hubby, two kids, three housemates), and I'm basically the "house mom." I can hardly walk from one room to another without someone stopping me to ask something. And everyone is just a little more high strung.

I foresee some long walks in my immediate future. I know exactly how to avoid people!

As far as my husband goes, he's level-headed and calm as a general rule, which is delightful. He's worried, but in a proactive way. He's been very appreciative of my early efforts to prepare for this exact thing (we were fully stocked up already and I LAUGHED when our governor said he had "no intention" of issuing a shelter-in-place order), and so far spending a lot of time together has only caused a tiny bit of stress, which was easily and quickly dispelled.

I've had to remind him that he can accomplish an awful lot OVER THE PHONE instead of running all over tarnation talking to people in person now that there's a friggin' pandemic going down. Things can be ordered and delivered, etc. I think he's itching to go out. He's a lot more social than I am. But he thanked me for chastising him.

I'm pretty darn grateful to have him to curl up with every night, that's for sure.

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We're doing OK.  Hubby is upstairs working.  Daughter is in the studio working.  I'm caring for our son.  We meet for lunch and in the evenings for dinner.   

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simpycurious
9 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

This is a really great time as a man to develop relationships; every woman I come across right now is dying to have a conversation with somebody, anybody. I am sure you all saw the videos of all the young adults at the beach having a good time, regardless of COVID-19 and that is a very accurate representation of young people's thought process towards this time, they are trying to have sex more than ever right now.

Sure, we are going to lose some people, but on the whole, COVID-19 is going to do our societies more good than harm, simply because it is preparing us for a viral threat that could threaten the well being of people unhealthy or healthy alike

Great Post Caps.  Companionship is something that just cannot be replaced.  You can have all the money you want, houses, decent looks but without someone to share time with you kinda don't have much in the end.  I think people as a whole are more engaging (from a distance of course) right now.  Lots of people out walking, moving around, and generally trying to enjoy the warm weather and blue skies.  I see people smiling more, little waves, and just being more friendly.  I always try to find a positive wherever I can and maybe people being KINDER to one another is one those positives. 

Edited by simpycurious
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simpycurious
17 hours ago, Malin889 said:

I'm sorry to hear that Happy, I thought things were going so well with your gf. Everyone is doing Zoom these days, maybe she can meet her girlfriends for a Zoom Happy Hour. And maybe buy some exercise equipment that she uses at the gym and have it shipped to your house, small things that don't break the bank, and join some online classes. There's so many opportunities out there now.  

Or just get OUTSIDE and move around....lots of people walking, joggging, walking their dogs especially with 70 and 80 degree days.

Some days are just meant to be outside getting a tan, like today.  

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I'm walking every day and see lots of couples doing the same.  We're all good at staying well away from each other, and the fresh air and change of scenery helps my mood.  I assume all these couples feel the same!

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Yeah it's all very very strange , l often have the feeling l shouldn't be out the front gate at all but really , especially if you live in an area like mine with lots of space as long as you stay out of shopping centers. l really can't see why we can't at least get out for a roam about . Here right now we could walk 10k without coming close to anyone, maybe they'll be on the other side of the road or over somewhere doing something or just out walking or whatever but heaps of space so surely that's ok. My house has heaps of yard all around too and no neighbours on two sides just open land , so in theory it should make no difference if we're out and about around the yards outside or anywhere round the house either. But you still get this funny vibe that you shouldn't be out at all, really though in our sitch l can't see how it hurts.

Or say when l finish the last job l'm doing until this is all over , next wk sometime , we'd finally have some time right now to do some reno's too and especially with the situation of our place couldn't see any reason why we can't , but funny we kinda feel like we shouldn't be even doing that either. Like there's no way anyone even walking past could get anywhere near us if we're outside or up on ladders or whatever they'd still be a good 10 or 12mtrs away min from us in any direction . But we kinda feel like we shouldn't be.

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Ruby Slippers

We had a tiff last night because he left an empty TP tube on the dispenser and didn't put a new one on and I got annoyed. He denied it was him, says he uses the other bathroom, but I know I didn't do it.

He silently went to bed on the couch. Came into my room around 2:00 in the morning tearing me from sleep saying he couldn't sleep and was going home, took off to his place. 

He came back around noon today and is now cooking us fish and rice for an early dinner. I'm trying to be gracious and understand he needed a little escape to his man cave. I'm usually the one to run away, so I get it. 

He's trying to whisk me away by car to his mountain home out of state so he can see his kids and friends, but I can't do that unless I'm cleared to work from home once I start my new job in the office in a week. I'm the only reason he's hanging back, which is nice. I told him I'll go with him if I can and if he agrees to drive me back if I have to go back to the office. 

 

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littleblackheart

On our last couple of days of quarantine after my son developed mild symptoms (quite scary nonetheless). 2 of us in our household have Aspergers so adapting to so many changes, the uncertainty and chaos of the situation and the pandemic itself have been difficult in the first few days, but we're now kind of 'settled' as best anyone can in these crazy times.

 

I have been amazed at how mature the children have been; they do their school work without too much prompting and have allowed me to telework mostly without interference since my son is better. They're both quite aware and anxious about the situation though, with my son refusing to go out for fear of passing his symptoms on.

 

I'm single so don't have to deal with a partner, however my relationship with myself was a bit strained in the beginning. I'm generally fairly level-headed but being cooped up inside didn't bring out the best in me, with having to juggle a million things at once + being worried for my son + lack of sleep, which means I was all over the place.

 

Looking forward to going out for a walk finally, to clear the mind and get some proper sunshine in.

 

The strangest thing is that now I'm part of all sorts of neighbourhood groups, and feel I've known about them more in the last couple of years than in the decade I've lived in this town. Not sure how I feel about that, as I'm normally not keen on 'village gossip'.

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We did a grocery run today and most of the people there were older. Aren't they ones who should be distancing the most. We put on a mask and gloves, got what we needed and got out of there.

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5 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said:

 

He's trying to whisk me away by car to his mountain home out of state so he can see his kids and friends, but I can't do that unless I'm cleared to work from home once I start my new job in the office in a week. I'm the only reason he's hanging back, which is nice. 

 

Not that nice.  Around here, no one knows when we'll see our kids or friends, much less travel around the country.   

Sorry, but I have a bug up my a** about people who don't have the social conscience to make an effort.  This is why Italy is where it is today, and also how we end up with police needing to be responsible for managing people.  

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Ruby Slippers
1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

Not that nice.  Around here, no one knows when we'll see our kids or friends, much less travel around the country.   

Sorry, but I have a bug up my a** about people who don't have the social conscience to make an effort.  This is why Italy is where it is today, and also how we end up with police needing to be responsible for managing people.  

Not that I need to defend myself to you, but... You don't know where I am, so you don't have a lot of room to judge. I'm in a place that's minimally affected and if we go, we'll likely drive pretty much straight there in shifts, to a place also minimally affected. There's no ban on what he's suggested. 

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11 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

Not that I need to defend myself to you, but... You don't know where I am, so you don't have a lot of room to judge. I'm in a place that's minimally affected and if we go, we'll likely drive pretty much straight there in shifts, to a place also minimally affected. There's no ban on what he's suggested. 

Certainly you don't need to defend yourself. Based on your posts I'd assumed you were in a city within the United States,  and in isolation (because this thread).    Many  of us are "hunkering down" and not seeing our family & friends for the time being  - not because of bans.   

 

 

 

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Nothing has really changed that much. Both my jobs are essential and my husband’s job is essential. So we both go to work and come home like normal. Only difference is we don’t go out anymore with friends. I think it’s making things better for us. 
 

 

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littleblackheart
9 hours ago, Woggle said:

We did a grocery run today and most of the people there were older.

It's interesting to see cultural differences.

 

We are only supposed to go out one adult at a time here in the UK for essentials. I went out for some fruit this morning for the first time in what feeling like an eternity. I walked to my corner shop - there were a handful of people along the way, all were very respectful of social distancing, keeping a 2 metre distance at all times all the way.

 

There was a queue to get into the shop to limit the numbers of people going in, and markings every 2 meters on the shop floor. It's normally busy, but not today. Very few elderly people were out, but I assume that's because it's a tight community that helps each other (especially the elderly) out.

 

We're allowed one form of exercise / day as a household, and a social gathering of no more than 2 people at a time (outside of your household), which everyone seems to be mindful of here. 

 

The town is a lot more peaceful with very few cars about, which was actually enjoyable despite the circumstances.

 

 

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lana-banana

In our area, man grocery stores have designated one or two days a week at their earliest hours "senior shopping hours". ONLY elderly people are supposed to be shopping at those times. The idea is it makes it easier for them to get the essentials, and reduces the risk of younger asymptomatic people spreading the infection.

Our relationship is doing okay, I think. We love each other very much and we're managing to keep busy, but I think this may actually be harder on my husband than it is on me. His business is trying to figure out how to do a lot of their work virtually, which requires a massive amount of work on his end; I'm proud to see how much he's doing and how important he is but he's been putting in 12-14 hour days. The one upside of this is that he spends a lot of his time on calls, which helps soothe his extroversion. He has been really struggling with not being able to make small talk with neighbors, baristas, folks on the street, cashiers, etc. 

We're doing a virtual brunch with some friends today, which should be fun, and we have plenty of house projects to keep us busy. But we're also very worried about each other, of course. I'm not afraid of death, not even painful death, but if anything happened to my husband I'd lose my mind.

 

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littleblackheart

It's very unsettling not knowing when you'll get to see your family next. Most of mine are abroad, one is one the other side of the country.

 

Video calls, which I normally hate, are the new essentials I never thought I needed. 

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16 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said:

We had a tiff last night because he left an empty TP tube on the dispenser and didn't put a new one on and I got annoyed. He denied it was him, says he uses the other bathroom, but I know I didn't do it.

Got tiff over an empty roll of toilet paper.. Isn't that sweating very small stuff? Something else must be bothering you. 

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20 minutes ago, littleblackheart said:

It's very unsettling not knowing when you'll get to see your family next.

We have a family brunch every last Sunday of the month. Today we will try doing this over video. We are currently searching which video app could incorporate the 15 of us. 

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littleblackheart
33 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

We have a family brunch every last Sunday of the month. Today we will try doing this over video. We are currently searching which video app could incorporate the 15 of us. 

Zoom is the one you want. I have an account with work and use it all the time now with my family.

 

It's free for meetings of 40 minutes or less; you'll need to pay a small fee to enable all features - well worth it.

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Ruby Slippers
12 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

Many  of us are "hunkering down" and not seeing our family & friends for the time being  - not because of bans.   

We're doing the same. I'd consider driving with him to the city where he has a house so he can see his grown kids. I've seen my parents twice recently, making sure beforehand they were OK with the risk.

At times like this, you realize that nothing matters more than being close to the people you love and making sure they're OK. The ONLY reason he's stayed here is because of me. I appreciate that he wants us to stick together, shows where his heart is. But I'm sure he's missing his kids and would feel a lot better just to see their faces. For that reason, rather than sending him off without me, I'd consider going with him if it works out. Of course we'd exercise every precaution to avoid people along the way.

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Ruby Slippers
4 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Got tiff over an empty roll of toilet paper.. Isn't that sweating very small stuff? Something else must be bothering you. 

Being cooped up with anyone and spending pretty much every moment together for a week straight takes a certain toll. I'm amazed that's been our only disagreement. In general I'm the organized clean freak and he's the absent-minded mess maker - but to my pleasant surprise, he's been a lot better at picking up after himself this week.

The mood is light again now. We're back in the groove, getting ready to make a Costco run, then I'll make a nice dinner of roasted chicken and sides, maybe make some homemade granola, also planning to cut my hair and his today - that'll be an adventure :D 

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