SolG Posted April 28, 2020 Share Posted April 28, 2020 "Wow, Honey! I'm so pleased you're getting so much knowledge from all the contact you're having with that hot doctor from Italy/France/Spain you almost married and had so much sex with!", said no one. Ever. You're not an oh so very enlightened automan - none of us are. You actually don't have to be unreasonably reasonable. Needs vary, and what is unreasonable in one context may be the norm/required in another. Being in love and in a relationship inherently makes us vulnerable. We effectively hand over our heart to a beloved into their safe keeping - we give them the power to hurt us. Usually it's balanced with the trust that they probably won't. At least not intentionally and/or cruely. It's totally okay to be vulnerable and remind a partner that they hold your heart. And that something they may be doing makes you feel unsafe, vulnerable and hurt. And our feelings in this respect don't have to be entirely reasonable in order to be heard and heeded. Don't for a minute feel ashamed of what is essentially a very normal human response. How you relate and negotiate from there is up to y'all. Hopefully you can come to an arrangement that satisfies you both in a way that perpetuates a healthy relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxcazaxx Posted April 29, 2020 Share Posted April 29, 2020 I honestly think that you are looking into this too much and should look at yourself and ask yourself why you are feeling jealous and insecure. What you have to remember is that you are married - she chose to marry you and not her ex. Might also be worth considering how you would feel if she asked you to stop speaking to someone. I know that I might feel hurt knowing that my husband didn't trust me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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