What do Men Desire and Value in a Woman?

[simpycurious]

This could be a very comprehensive and fairly long list.  

[Azincourt]

21 hours ago, Caauug said:

I strongly disagree, it is alive and well in Western culture..... Maybe you do not see it as I do. 

Not really, no, not as in a majority of women being hypgergamous.

They are not.

There are some middle-aged goldiggers, with some of those being pretty plain-looking to begin with, but from what I've personally experienced, most(physically attractive) young women don't really care about money all that much.

It's the women who are say, if you were to measure someone's level of attractiveness from 0 to 10 - these women who marry men who are richer than them are 10/10.

Most attractive women have pretty low standards all things considered. Just hit the gym hard, have a full head of hair, and there'll be plenty of young, physically attractive women who'll want to date you without you having to pay for it with money.

Obviously an older man with an average body, an average hairline and a plain- lookingface usually has to pay to gain access to young, hot women.  Do you think the King of Thailand would have been able of going into quarentine with his 20-strong harem of 18-25 year old hot women if he worked at wallmarts as the manager?

🤣

The same can be said about Leonardo Dicaprio. He has a pudgy body, he's 50 years old, and his face looks like a plate of smashed potatoes, and yet he only dates women who work for victoria's secret, he starts dating a woman when she's like 18 or 19 years old, and before she turns 25 - he dumps her and finds himself a new 18 year old girlfriend.

That is female hypergamy. Strip Dicaprio of his wealth and fame, and he would hardly be able to get women his own age, let alone some of the most beautiful women to ever be born.

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Hummm…. and you said hypergamy has died???? Ya, ok..... What ever you say.....

Most of it in the west, yes. It has died out.

In Africa and in the Middle-East and in India, it still lives strong. But that's because women aren't allowed to choose the men they marry, sadly, and it's not even like a woman picks a man based on his wealth.

When she reaches marriageable age, the young men who are interested in her ask their own parents to enter negotiations with her parents.  The hopeful groom's parents send her pictures of their son, and her parents tell her from which group of suitors she can pick from.

She makes her choice, but even that is only the first stage in the journey. 

Her father and his father have to agree on the price the young woman is to be sold off.  When the price is agreed on, the groom's father has to provide either the totality of the value in silver, in land, in jewlery, or it has to be something else that can cover the value of the deed. The groom's parents also have to provide the couple with a house, and a car.

Does that sound what men have to go through to get a wife? 

No.  In the western nations women have a choice. As they should.  Hypergamy in the western world does not exist in the way it truly is.

Yes, plain-looking men do have to pay to get hot women to marry them but that ain't hypergamy. That's women being smart. I don't blame them. Hell, introduce me to Madonna and I'll be rich within 5 years of marrying her 💪🤣

 

 

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You forgot the part about barefoot in 6 feet of snow fighting off bears with no power or running water..... Ya, ok..... As long as you believe it..... Your father is a true saint!!!

Not sure about the barefoot in 6 feet of snow, but my father did serve in the Air Force. Like every man in my family has served in a military branch.  It's true what they say tho, they don't make men like they used to 🤣

 

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Housewives no....

Why, have you ever run an household to know being a housewife is easy?

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Ok, maybe I did not make myself clear about the last part of my comment above, I apologize, I was taking about housewives not motherhood.... Major difference looking after a bunch of children or looking after just yourself!!!! 

My original comment still stands: You want to retire early and have me support you? Then you don't want me in your life!!!

If a woman wants to marry you because of your money, it's not because she wants you to support her out of a sense of being lazy .

It's because she was never sexually attracted to you and she is getting paid for sexual services provided to you.

It's a fair businesses transaction from the way I see it.

Edited March 29, 2020 by Azincourt

[Azincourt]

8 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

Tig ol’ bitties and a booty looking like two christmas hams tryna’ skateboard

You just described 2020's Kylie Jenner 😍

[Realitysux]

I'd like to share a secret with all you men out there. Do you know how easy it is for us to find a man? It's a lot easier then you might think. These days the guy doesn't even have to be single and married men spend more (not my style personally) You don't choose us, we choose you! You can waste your time trying to find someone to fit your checked off boxes but you better be worth it because we have a lot more options then you do! You can wish we were this and that but in the end I don't know one women who would give a s*** what a man wants them to be. The other post fit better because men are the ones who need to know what a women wants. 

Edited March 29, 2020 by Realitysux

[nospam99]

''Tig ol’ bitties and a booty looking like two christmas hams tryna’ skateboard ''

rotflmao @cookies and noticing the transposition of letters

To be fair, those features ARE both desirable and valuable :D

Edited March 29, 2020 by nospam99

[5x5]

@Realitysux in my experience it can be pretty easy for men to find women as well. Which is hardly surprising given that most people are heterosexual.

That said there are plenty of women who can't easily find or get the men they want as well. My wife is friends with a few women, who have had considerable difficulty trying to find men to be with. So it isn't always easy for all people of any gender, just as it isn't always hard for all people of any gender.

A number of years ago I remember one 19 year old woman. Who on being turned down by me after asking me to be with her. Then offered to keep me supplied with a parade of expensive gifts if I would have a sexual relationship with her. Yet that got her nowhere, and she was just one of many, that I have turned down.

As to finding women who conform to my list, it's not a case of wanting a woman to meet my list. It's simply that my list conforms to the characteristics of the women I am attracted to.

So I am attracted to women who are like myself passionate about history and the arts, so in that case it is like attracting like Just as I also desire attractive women, who enjoy a broad range of non-vanilla sexual activities. Who are also happy to have some very specific sexual things done to them. Yet that has been easy to find for me. WI ith all of my long term sexual relationship partners, meeting my desires list. Which also includes my ex-wife and 2nd wife who to-date I have happily been with for close to 24 years.

As to having a lot more options. The reality is that feast or famine, will always vary depending upon the people involved and when.

Success or failure isn't always certain and life is never always static.

[5x5]

14 hours ago, lonelyplanetmoon said:

Since I lean more toward the chemistry end of the spectrum vs friendship, what are the components that make up chemistry for men?

That's the thing that no set criteria can explain adequately. I know what it feels like to experience and I know what it feels like when it falls away. Yet at the same time I have also experienced it lasting for decades with the same sexual partner.

Even after circa 24 years I still experience that electric buzz and tingle that I can feel down my neck and more. I still get that feeling that the air feels like it is as thick as butter. Plus I still get that wonderful feeling of excitement and anticipation that one gets before a first kiss to someone that you mutually desire in that first moment. Then there are the moments where it sort of feels like, I can feel what they feel in a particular moment when having sex. Which for example can be felt in the throat or another place, and more than that stuff as well.

Yet I don't know how to make that happen if it isn't there to begin with. So that's why it's on my list, since absent that and more I have no desire to want to be with them sexually at all.

 

[Realitysux]

@Cookiesandough.. don't be shocked, I'm just at the angry stage. It will pass! I'm hoping people will be supportive, at first I was really hurt but now I'm extremely angry! I'm almost certain it's the last stage before you get over it.

Edited March 29, 2020 by Realitysux

[5x5]

On 3/28/2020 at 6:41 AM, SummerDreams said:

When you say that something is No 1, you either mean that everything else is not necessary (so it's a bonus) OR that No1 is that essential that without it there is no need for anything else. In other words, if you find a woman who has all your numbers 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 etc but she lacks in number 1, would you not continue with her? Or will the rest of the numbers combined be enough for you to give it a chance?

I wouldn't maintain and haven't maintained any sexual relationship (dating/living together/FWBs/marriage) with any woman who does not meet my sexual desires. Nor do I expect any woman to maintain a sexual relationship with me if I didn't meet her sexual desires. Regardless of whether every other non-sexual desire was met or exceeded.

For some of us sexual compatibility, is the  most important and essential foundation for any healthy sexual relationship. With all else being considered a very close second in importance.

[FMW]

Something that is number 1 holds more weight than the rest, but it doesn't mean that it alone can meet your criteria.  It just means it's something you're not willing to do completely without and all else being equal, you would make your choice based on that. 

So in the example of sex being number 1, Option A that provides mind blowing sex but is self-absorbed and provides little mental stimulation, probably isn't going to win out (at least long term) over Option B who provides merely good sex but is loving and provides mental and emotional connection.  

[Azincourt]

2 hours ago, Realitysux said:

I'd like to share a secret with all you men out there. Do you know how easy it is for us to find a man? It's a lot easier then you might think. These days the guy doesn't even have to be single and married men spend more (not my style personally) You don't choose us, we choose you! You can waste your time trying to find someone to fit your checked off boxes but you better be worth it because we have a lot more options then you do! You can wish we were this and that but in the end I don't know one women who would give a s*** what a man wants them to be. The other post fit better because men are the ones who need to know what a women wants. 

Someone's having a bad day 🤣

As for the rest, yeah but nahh. There's millions upon millions of physically attractive women.

Most millennial men are broke and are carrying lots of debt,;credit card debt, college debt, healthcare debt, and many don't even have health insurance -job insecurity, and will probably only get the downpayment for their first house when they get to their 40s or 50s. 

And who's going to start a family at that age?

Italy is a rich Country and yet most men in their 40s and 50s still live at home, let alone in the USA where everyone is living paycheck to paycheck and they're addicted to porn and video games.

So, marrying a rich guy is not possible for the majority of women who are attractive enough to show up nearly naked in a hip-hop/rap video music clip.

There are physically attractive men out there, but only a handful compared to how many beautiful women are living in Europe, South America, the Middle-East and India, and many of those guys don't want to settle down, nor are they interested in a committed relationship with anyone.

That leaves many, many, many women who are hot either living a lonely life, or they settle down with men who are nothing special to look at.

The women who married the British Princes won at life. The women who married the Saudi Princes won at life, even if they are only the third or 4th wife. The women who are hot enough and lucky enough to meet and date Cristiano Ronaldo are lucky as hell, and  Jeff Bezo's wife with the 60 billions she took home in her divorce settlement is the queen of women who have it made in life.

But most women who are attractive?

Nope.

Unless you consider being an escort, a stripper, a camgirl, a porn star, or the trophy wife of a physically repugnant 73 year old man who was lucky to inherit 400 million dollars from his daddy  - to be winning at life.

🤣

Edited March 29, 2020 by Azincourt

[Beachead]

Looks gets my attention but it doesn't seal the deal.     Respect, intelligence and emotional/physical intimacy ultimately do.   

- Beach

Edited March 29, 2020 by Beachead

[simpycurious]

10 minutes ago, Beachead said:

Looks gets my attention but it doesn't seal the deal.     Respect, intelligence and emotional/physical intimacy ultimately do.   

- Beach

Definitely looks. Being bright, fun, adventurous and open to new things are pluses.  Dignity, grace....did I mention FUN

So many HIGHLY attractive peeps (men and women) who seemingly just don't LOVE to have fun.  I digress and for RealitySux

I am glad you laughed and as my Mom says "this too shall pass." (I LOVEEEEEEEEEE MY Mom)

[chillii]

On 3/29/2020 at 11:44 PM, Realitysux said:

I'd like to share a secret with all you men out there. Do you know how easy it is for us to find a man? It's a lot easier then you might think. These days the guy doesn't even have to be single and married men spend more (not my style personally) You don't choose us, we choose you! You can waste your time trying to find someone to fit your checked off boxes but you better be worth it because we have a lot more options then you do! You can wish we were this and that but in the end I don't know one women who would give a s*** what a man wants them to be. The other post fit better because men are the ones who need to know what a women wants. 

No easier for women to find something real and worthwhile than it is for men. l now some great women that have literally given up , been single for years. Plenty of them around ls too all talking about how hard it is.. Me on the other hand , 50s , since my divorce, 3 women that have wanted to marry,  including my gf now. So yaknow , all depends on which way you wanna slice things as to the real reality.

ps actually come to think of it most of the women l met back when after my divorce, are still on date sites. Only one that l know of is in something actually worthwhile and real and l think they're engaged.

Edited April 1, 2020 by chillii

[Azincourt]

6 hours ago, chillii said:

No easier for women to find something real and worthwhile than it is for men. l now some great women that have literally given up , been single for years. Plenty of them around ls too all talking about how hard it is.. Me on the other hand , 50s , since my divorce, 3 women that have wanted to marry,  including my gf now. So yaknow , all depends on which way you wanna slice things as to the real reality.

ps actually come to think of it most of the women l met back when after my divorce, are still on date sites. Only one that l know of is in something actually worthwhile and real and l think they're engaged.

Yeah, it's so easy for women to find a man, that's why 77% of African-American women are single mothers,  49% Mexican-American women are single mothers,  most women can't find a man they deem good enough for marriage because millennial women make more money than millennial men, the divorce rate is 70% in an European Country, with it being at 60% in another, with the divorce rate at 54% in the states, and the only reason it's not at say 84% is because a huge portion of America is religious and doesn't believe/can't get a divorce, with lots of people who aren't religious staying married because they'd be worse off, financially, if they got a divorce.

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Women are struggling to find men who make as much money as they do

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A good man is hard to find, especially in this economy.

The country is facing a crisis of broke dudes, according to new research from Cornell University — and it’s left successful ladies single and disgruntled.

 

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“There are shortages of economically attractive men,” lead study author Daniel T. Lichter tells The Post. Although we like to think marriage is based on love, he says, it “also is fundamentally an economic transaction,” and women want partners whom they can call their equals.

Get an overweight plain-looking woman and put her against me, a 6 feet tall 180lbs 10% body fat man who has been a fashion model since the moment I was born,  and 100% of the time she will get a lot more offers for casual sex that I will ever, even more so if she lowers her standards.  Lowering my standards won't increase my shot because there's lot of hotter guys who also lower their standards to make sure they get laid.

But when it comes to commitment?

Sorry,  I'm the king and emperor here.

I'm the one who decides if the hook-up turns into a romantic relationship , and funny how fast women will let you smash when you're an eligible bachelor and they think they gonna get a relationship out of it.

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Edited April 1, 2020 by Azincourt

[SummerDreams]

1 hour ago, Azincourt said:

Get an overweight plain-looking woman and put her against me, a 6 feet tall 180lbs 10% body fat man who has been a fashion model since the moment I was born,  and 100% of the time she will get a lot more offers for casual sex that I will ever, even more so if she lowers her standards.  Lowering my standards won't increase my shot because there's lot of hotter guys who also lower their standards to make sure they get laid.

The only point proven here is that men are so obsessed with sex that they will lower their standards in an illogical way to get it.

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Sorry,  I'm the king and emperor here.

I'm the one who decides if the hook-up turns into a romantic relationship , and funny how fast women will let you smash when you're an eligible bachelor and they think they gonna get a relationship out of it.

Has it occured to you they maybe dodge a bullet when you refuse them your precious self in a relationship? 😛

[mark clemson]

On 3/29/2020 at 5:44 AM, Realitysux said:

I'd like to share a secret with all you men out there. Do you know how easy it is for us to find a man? It's a lot easier then you might think. ...  in the end I don't know one women who would give a s*** what a man wants them to be. The other post fit better because men are the ones who need to know what a women wants. 

 

On 3/28/2020 at 4:40 PM, lonelyplanetmoon said:

As a woman in search mode I would really like to hear from the men their honest opinions without being criticized, judged or crucified for their responses.  If sex is number one then so be it. I like sex so got that covered.  
What else?  Since I lean more toward the chemistry end of the spectrum vs friendship, what are the components that make up chemistry for men?

Interesting juxtaposition.

It's also noteworthy that those who don't give a sh*t what their partner wants them to be may not be likely to last through a LTR particularly well. At least not with an emotionally healthy partner who isn't scared of walking. That goes for men as well as women. No doubt there are exceptions, but such an attitude wouldn't seem to bode well...

[Realitysux]

43 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

 

Interesting juxtaposition.

It's also noteworthy that those who don't give a sh*t what their partner wants them to be may not be likely to last through a LTR particularly well. At least not with an emotionally healthy partner who isn't scared of walking. That goes for men as well as women. No doubt there are exceptions, but such an attitude wouldn't seem to bode well...

Yes as I said, I don't want to be a part of this thread and I'm single moving on from my own s*** 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

For me, having the sexual aspects of a relationship are really great... You know, like a nice looking model might be a great catch at first... Until you have to live with her and spend a lot of time with her, because some are just super obnoxious. Same goes for guys.

So yeah, I tend to focus more on the long-term qualities than the qualities of a sexy woman... Like if your always voicing your opinion on things that I don't require your opinion on, or getting emotional, trying to start arguments cause your bored, things like this, I tend to avoid... I want a woman I can live with, not a woman I can love... The love will come later, but if I can't stand your personality, then I'm not going to be motivated to go the extra distance for you.

[Azincourt]

5 hours ago, SummerDreams said:

The only point proven here is that men are so obsessed with sex that they will lower their standards in an illogical way to get it.

Yes, men are obsessed with sex.

The existence of escorts, strippers, camgirls, pornstars, and amateur prostitutes(trophy wives/gold-diggers/sugar babies) never tipped you off to the fact that men desire sex a lot more than women do?

Men spend fortunes to get laid, or trying to get laid. Women? Nah. Because most men are willing to give it out for free.

Hence why getting married as a man is a very silly thing to do.  Not only is her sex drive on average lower than the guy,  but it will become lower and lower and when the guy gets tired of being in a sexless marriage, he's out looking for it somewhere and booom, gets hit with a divorce.

 

5 hours ago, SummerDreams said:

Has it occured to you they maybe dodge a bullet when you refuse them your precious self in a relationship? 😛

Honestly, I think they did.

I don't have much to offer a woman except a soccer-body build, a pretty face, great hair, and a multitude of orgasms. 

I'm not cut out for a serious relationship!

[chillii]

l don't even know any single guys obsessed sexually , of single guys l meet most have zero interest in ever getting tangled up with some woman again now they're doing much better solo and living how they want. Of the 5 or 6 l know personally , only one hopes to remarry. The others can't be bothered with women at all they've had a gut full of them and no desire to go there again. One does go out pubbing every few mths brings someone home for a bit of fun but that ends there no way he'll ever get involved with a woman again , he's 50s.

Me , l'd like to remarry but it'd have to have a lot more to it than just sexually , damned if l'd marry again just for that wth would you better of single for just that. Personally , one thing these threads usually prove to me is that most women really just don't understand men and the difference in the woman he just plays with, to the woman that he'd marry. Not to mention the divorce rate , most guys have already been screwed over once and they ain't in any hurry to let that happen again. l think they flatter themselves with this money and wage crap too , or why are they all screaming wage equality. Guys l know or meet are doing very nicely and call their own shots but in my single time after divorce most women l met were struggling to keep their head above water or working like dogs to do it , not all , some were set up really well, but many..

 

 

Edited April 1, 2020 by chillii

[preraph]

10 hours ago, Azincourt said:

 

Get an overweight plain-looking woman and put her against me, a 6 feet tall 180lbs 10% body fat man who has been a fashion model since the moment I was born,  and 100% of the time she will get a lot more offers for casual sex that I will ever, even more so if she lowers her standards.  Lowering my standards won't increase my shot because there's lot of hotter guys who also lower their standards to make sure they get laid.

I don't know any woman who ever got as much play as the men I knew in bands. Not even close. It wasn't a matter of picking a woman. It was a matter of trying to get to her among the herd clamoring to get at them. 

[preraph]

Also, pre-AIDS gay guys, some of them had big numbers.

[basil67]

8 hours ago, Azincourt said:

I don't have much to offer a woman except a soccer-body build, a pretty face, great hair, and a multitude of orgasms. 

I'm not cut out for a serious relationship!

Probably just as well you're not looking for a relationship.  Narcissism wears very thin very quickly.  

Edited April 2, 2020 by basil67

[DreamGuyxo]

I being considered, a man

Would like honesty, integrity and a foundation of love and hope

 

(no period, at all)