So He's Referring to me as 'kiddo'

[ShyGal78]

I may have just screwed up > Other Post < or there's more to it. But he's referring to me as "kiddo". He's a bit older & he's done that that before, earlier in the year, referred to me as "kiddo". But I am so bloody confused about this guy it's not funny. He'll go out of his way to assist me, even when busy. Strong eye contact like earlier in the week. And now this "kiddo" stuff. 

[Ellener]

Yes, that would irritate me too. Who does he think he is, Humphrey Bogart...?!

[basil67]

Kiddo is used by old guys who are talking to a younger woman in a father daughter way.  He’s making it clear that he sees you as someone much younger and inexperienced but not in an insulting way.   Not sexy, not romantic, not into you.  

Edited March 28, 2020 by basil67

[Blind-Sided]

If you don't like it... but you like him... just let him know in an easy way.  If he respects you, then it should stop, and if he's a good guy... he shouldn't be offended by the request.

Edited March 28, 2020 by Blind-Sided

[Azincourt]

21 hours ago, ShyGal78 said:

I may have just screwed up > Other Post < or there's more to it. But he's referring to me as "kiddo". He's a bit older & he's done that that before, earlier in the year, referred to me as "kiddo". But I am so bloody confused about this guy it's not funny. He'll go out of his way to assist me, even when busy. Strong eye contact like earlier in the week. And now this "kiddo" stuff. 

i find that to be very offensive. When  I was 20, I dated a few women who were in their 30s or 40s, and not once was I called a kid or a boy or a child by them. Sounds like he's emotionally mansplaining you by calling you a kiddo.

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Kiddo is used by old guys who are talking to a younger woman in a father daughter way.  He’s making it clear that he sees you as someone much younger and inexperienced but not in an insulting way.   Not sexy, not romantic, not into you.  

Not really, no. It's demeaning. It's sexist.  No one has called me a kiddo since I was 16.

Even to this day, when I catch the flu and put a huge face mask that covers the entirety of my face, I go about my day, every guy in his 30s and 40s and 50s and 60s and 70s calls me sir, and Mr, there ain't no guy calling me a kiddo or a boy. Because they respect me. They know I can easily body-slam them if they tick me off, if I was the kind of guy to do that, I'm not, I respect my elders like my daddy and my mommy taught me to.

These old men look at these 5'7'' 110lbs 21 year old women and dehumanize them by calling them ''girl'', ''child'', '' kid'' because they are pretty sure they are safe from any physical altercation, and I find that behavior, treating young women as if they are children to be repugnant 😡

Edited March 28, 2020 by Azincourt

[schlumpy]

Maybe he's just a fan of old movies or pulp fiction. Haven't you ever had anyone spout off a line from a movie or book that you had seen or read? Repeat a lyric from song? Have you ever done that? 

If you find it insulting just tell him up front so he can correct his behavior. Don't silently seethe. This doesn't have to mean anything unless you let it or he continues to call you "Kiddo" after you have let told him how is displeases you.

[preraph]

Yeah that's him regarding you as a child, not an adult. Since he's older, it's not offensive so much as it is appropriate. It's not even sexist. It's not a sexist comment. It's something you say to your little kids because you feel maternal or paternal toward them as opposed to romantic.

 

My crush used to call me Slick. I assumed it was because I was good at pool.

[lana-banana]

Nobody calls someone they're romantically interested in "kiddo". He is signaling he's not into you, that's all.

[Fletch Lives]

I don't know - I kinda liked the way my ex used to call me boy toy once in awhile. Some of you need to get a sense of humor.

[Ollie180]

3 hours ago, lana-banana said:

Nobody calls someone they're romantically interested in "kiddo". He is signaling he's not into you, that's all.

When I was in my 20’s I used to call my girlfriends of the time ‘kid’... not every time I spoke to them haha, but I did do it! None of them ever told me it was a problem.

Wouldn't do it now I’m the wrong side of 30 😃 Still would use the term but only for under 18’s now (so actual kids)...

...That said, when I was a boy, our neighbours were this like mid 60’s couple, and the guy always called his wife ‘kid’.. I don’t remember ever hearing him call her anything else! (..Maybe he was where I picked it up from!)

[Azincourt]

Exactly. No guy is calling his potential girlfriend '' kiddo.''

That's like a woman calling a guy ''dude''. She just sees him as one of the guys, same with OP's male friend calling her ''kiddo.''

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

On 3/29/2020 at 10:40 AM, Azincourt said:

Exactly. No guy is calling his potential girlfriend '' kiddo.''

That's like a woman calling a guy ''dude''. She just sees him as one of the guys, same with OP's male friend calling her ''kiddo.''

I hate when women call me Dude... Like are we gonna head butt eachother in 3 week old underwear while watching sports? No? Dont call me Dude then.

Edited March 30, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

[Azincourt]

14 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

I hate when women call me Dude... Like are we gonna head butt eachother in 3 week old underwear while watching sports? No? Dont call me Dude then.

Bro, seriously, when they are trying to fall into your good graces by calling you a bro and treating you like a dude, and then they get mad when you reciprocate and treat them like one of the bros, let's go bro let's arm wrestle, oh but I thought you were one of the bros, bro 💪🤣

Edited March 30, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

[Blind-Sided]

On ‎3‎/‎28‎/‎2020 at 8:46 AM, Azincourt said:

No one has called me a kiddo since I was 16.

My dad called me that just a few days ago.  I'm 47... should I have yelled at him to respect me?  No... I'm happy to have a father who loves me, and is part of my life.

 

On ‎3‎/‎28‎/‎2020 at 8:46 AM, Azincourt said:

These old men look at these 5'7'' 110lbs 21 year old women and dehumanize them by calling them ''girl'', ''child'', '' kid'' because they are pretty sure they are safe from any physical altercation, and I find that behavior, treating young women as if they are children to be repugnant 😡

Now... this isn't me trying to start anything... so please don't take this the wrong way.  But I know you have said this in a couple threads lately.  You have more than just an opinion on this.  from my end of the screen, it's a real passion to you, on a subject that is kind of trivial to most people. Did something happen to you, to cause that kind of strong stance?

So... everyone is different, and has a different feeling on this. Some people hate it, and some people love it.  Most are somewhere in the middle, and don't really care. But knowing this subject was floating around a bit... I asked my (new) GF point blank yesterday... "Is it insensitive of me to call you 'My pretty Little Girl'?"  Her response was... "Not at all. I know you like me... it makes me feel good... and I am small. Also, since you have 2 young daughters, and I know you aren't trying to be creepy about it."   As an FYI... she is 4'11".   If she said that she didn't really care for it... I would have stopped and apologized for it. (since I want her to continue being nekid in my bed) But in this case... she really seems to like it.

Now... in both cases... Who's to say the terms of endearment are wrong? (when the other person kind of likes it)

On the "Bro" thing... I tend to agree.  But... I probably wouldn't be dating a girl who was that.... umm... rough. I totally love girls who can get their hands dirty... but later... they need to clean up, and be feminine, and care about how they look when we go out.

Edited March 30, 2020 by Blind-Sided

[Miss Spider]

Whenever some pleb assigns me a patronizing pet name I just return the favor. Next time you see him be like “how you doing, sport?”

Edited March 30, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Azincourt]

yeah, it's strange. People can call you kid, boy, baby, child, kiddo, and everyone accepts it and treats it like we're being given a compliment,  but if you were to call them grandpa, fossil, or ''I've seen 7000 years old Egyptian  mummies who looked younger than you,'' I am suddenly the jerk and ''youth these days have no manners.''

Edited March 30, 2020 by Azincourt

[preraph]

Hahahaha!  You never would have gotten rid of my dad if you'd called him Sport.  He thought it meant something else entirely.  I think he equated "sport" with a woman being "just a little bit pregnant," for example.  Yes, he was a mess.  

[preraph]

1 minute ago, Azincourt said:

yeah, it's strange. People can call you kid, boy, baby, child, kiddo, and everyone accepts it and treats it like we're being given a compliment,  but if you were to call them grandpa, fossil, or ''I've seen 7000 years old Egyptian  mummies who looked younger than you,'' I am suddenly the jerk and ''youth these days have no manners.''

Sometimes I like to call a guy "Girl."  

[Azincourt]

3 hours ago, preraph said:

Hahahaha!  You never would have gotten rid of my dad if you'd called him Sport.  He thought it meant something else entirely.  I think he equated "sport" with a woman being "just a little bit pregnant," for example.  Yes, he was a mess.  

Every time I hear someone get called ''Sport', I think  about Leonardo Dicaprio in the Great Gatsby saying '' old sport'' every 3 seconds 🤣

Edited March 30, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fixed formatting

[preraph]

Yeah, it's that generation.  Although "Old sport" is a little different than "sport," which was used to connote something humorously inappropriate sometimes.  

 

For some bad reason, that made me think of the old Mae West quote:  

(Some person during conversation):  "Like a good scout?"

Mae West:  "Don't mind if I do."

 

My aunt used to call everyone "Kid," which started back in the 1920s, I think.  She'd say, "Listen, Kid, we drove all the way to South America," and she just said "kid" in every other sentence.  It was cute.  
 

Edited March 30, 2020 by preraph

[Azincourt]

Just now, preraph said:

Yeah, it's that generation.  Although "Old sport" is a little different than "sport," which was used to connote something humorously inappropriate sometimes.  

 

For some bad reason, that made me think of the old Mae West quote:  

(Some person during conversation):  "Like a good scout?"

Mae West:  "Don't mind if I do."
 

Old sport is what old timers usually called men they went to college with, trinity, harvard, oxford, cambridge. The old boys club. Strange to listen to in this time and day

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

 - MAE WEST, My Little Chickadee

[preraph]

Right.  Snobby stuff.  I guess when my dad said "He's a sport," he meant someone naughty who would do just about anything.

[major_merrick]

Given the context of the  other thread (and wanting to clarify things) I'd say that he's clarifying that he has no sexual interest and sees you as much younger than himself (ie. like a daughter or a niece.)  In that context, I wouldn't be offended.  How much age difference is there?

I think a lot of times, people feel parent-ish about those who are much younger than themselves.  IDK about other areas of the US, but in the Mid-South where I live it is common for a man to address younger men (like 15-20+ years younger) as "son" and younger women as "young lady."  I think "kiddo" is a more familiar version of that, and I doubt it is meant to be offensive.  A familiar response (if the person is ok with it) is to address the older person as "old-timer" or "mister" in a half-joking yet half-respectful way. 

[basil67]

When I was a younger woman, I would have found 'kiddo' a much more pleasant reference than 'young lady'.   To me, 'young lady' reminds me of school teachers telling us to behave as such.   Whereas kiddo is warm and without behavioural expectations.

[Azincourt]

2 hours ago, major_merrick said:

Given the context of the  other thread (and wanting to clarify things) I'd say that he's clarifying that he has no sexual interest and sees you as much younger than himself (ie. like a daughter or a niece.)  In that context, I wouldn't be offended.  How much age difference is there?

I think a lot of times, people feel parent-ish about those who are much younger than themselves.  IDK about other areas of the US, but in the Mid-South where I live it is common for a man to address younger men (like 15-20+ years younger) as "son" and younger women as "young lady."  I think "kiddo" is a more familiar version of that, and I doubt it is meant to be offensive.  A familiar response (if the person is ok with it) is to address the older person as "old-timer" or "mister" in a half-joking yet half-respectful way. 

Sure, but that's still strange. I don't go about calling guys who are 10 years or 15 years younger than me, ''son.''

What, so I became a dad at the age of 10 or something?  Even at the age of 15 is extremely unlikely(as it should) for a guy to become a father, and it's not like men turn 30 and they suddenly lose their hair,  develop a beer gut, and have their faces get more lines than the Grand Canyon to justify a 30-35 year old man calling a 20-25 year old man, ''son.''

Someone who is 10 to 15 years is not ''much younger.'' This isn't Ancient Egypt where the average lifespan for men was about 30 years, and with the life expectancy increasing ever more with each generation,  people will remain young for a long time.

I also don't consider women who are 10 years younger to be ''kids''.  Kids are those who are younger than the age of 18. If she is 18 and above,  she's a young woman.

Being young doesn't mean I'm going to start treating her like she's  my daughter.

I'm way too young to be a dad(I'm in my 30s) let alone dad of someone who is 20 or 25 years old, obviously.

Heck, and if you take care of yourself(avoid the sun as much as possible/always apply max strength screen saver; don't smoke, don't drink, eat healthy etc) you can be in your 30s and people in their 20s will assume your their own age. Would be kinda weird for a guy who thinks you're his age, 22, to be called son by you.

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When I was a younger woman, I would have found 'kiddo' a much more pleasant reference than 'young lady'.   To me, 'young lady' reminds me of school teachers telling us to behave as such.   Whereas kiddo is warm and without behavioural expectations.

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As a man in my 30s, I very much enjoy being taken for as someone who is in his early 20s, especially by the plastic surgeons I went to when I wanted a professional opinion on whether I should get plastic surgery to look younger(the day I turned 30) only to be asked:

''why would a 18 year old need plastic surgery?''

That was very complimentary.

But if a man in his 50s or 60s or above was to call me a boy or a kid, I would feel offended. Strangely, I haven't been called a boy by men who are significantly older than me since I was 16.  Men seem to respect each other more naturally.

Edited March 31, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator