Masha Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 I recently lost my father, and it was all very sudden. One day he was absolutely fine, the next he was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. He died very shortly after. I didn’t have time to process the diagnosis, or even come to terms with it. It all happened so quickly, I don’t even remember what his last words to me were. I just focused on work and taking care of my infant and kinda avoided dealing with my father’s death. Now that it’s been a few months, I think it has finally hit me. I don’t even know how to begin to describe how I feel. I’m also experiencing a lot of guilt and shame, for not being there enough, and also for going back to my life so normally. My mother is a mess, she was so dependent on my father emotionally, socially, and financially. I hate seeing her so broken. I think I still can’t believe he’s gone, I have to sit there and say it to myself over and over again for it to sink in and it’s only starting to. I’m also secretly mad at my husband because he and my dad were super close but he doesn’t seem too bothered by his passing, I don’t know maybe that’s unfair but I guess I’m just sad and angry and I don’t know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 We all grieve differently. Try not to beat yourself up for the ways in which you’ve coped. I’m very sorry for your loss xo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 Sorry for your loss. Give yourself more time to process what's happened. Especially with the world upside down right now, it stirs up lots of emotions. Sad and angry and guilty are 'normal' for grieving, it settles into place over time and honestly all I remember about my father now are good things we shared. Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 (edited) I am sorry for your LOSS. This is why it is so important to LOVE dearly, completely, and without reservation. LOVE is not something to FEAR but something to EMBRACE. I probably could get real "sappy" today but I will refrain from that...... Edited April 3, 2020 by simpycurious Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 Sorry for you. You could vent on GriefHealing forum when you are ready. Your husband is stoical and private. He wants to look strong Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 (edited) Please accept my condolences. Grief affects people differently. Your husband is probably hurting but he expresses it in a way you don't see. Try not to bite his head off because his way of dealing is not your way. Just be there for your mom. In this pandemic that is harder but call her. Talk about your dad. Enlist your mom's GFs to call her if they are not already doing so. Death is a big change but it happens to everybody. Life goes on. When my mom died, I just kept changing the scenery on my dad. I dragged him all over the place -- to Europe; on a cruise; to various concerts; to my house; to social engagements DH & I were attending; to California. Granted none of that is an option right now but do the best you can. Enjoy your mom while she's still here. When my dad died 18 months after my mom, that is when my grief really became debilitating. Edited April 27, 2020 by d0nnivain Link to post Share on other sites
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