Mistake to ask for additional pics before meeting someone when online dating?

[miranda561]

3 minutes ago, max3732 said:

Can you offer some suggestions on where to meet women that age and what I can do differently on my dating profile? I'm thinking of not renewing my Match profile. I've already sent out messages to all the women I'm interested in and get a response for like 1/50. I even talked to their "dating expert" who said my profile was fine and so was my 1st message. 

The only thing I can think of in real life once things get back to normal is the board game group.

Where  do you live? If we live im different  countries then probably not unless  i did some research first 😂😂

Is your photo on show? Some apps you can blur it/keep it hidden. 

If i could view your profile maybe i could give you tips on how to improve. 

In terms of what  i look at when i see profiles and what matters before i accept: the photos ( if they're  attractive to me), height, job, education level, if they have kids or been married before (an automatic no), and last but not least the persons about me bit and what they are looking for. 

If the grammar, spelling and their ability to string  a sentence together is not great, its kind of off putting. Also if they are negative already and say things like Don't waste my time/no time wasters and already give a series of things they hate about women 😂. 

What i do like is someone who appears friendly, confident(but not arrogant), has a sense of humour, is open minded has a life and lots of different hobbies/loves to travel.

In the what you are looking for, try not to appear shallow or judgemental and give very specific descriptions i.e blonde hair blue eyes of a certain height and age. As you yourself will be reducing the pool of women As Well as  coming across as very superficial. 

 

[miranda561]

51 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said:

While I certainly don't train and live right for this purpose, I have often received compliments from women on my physique/arms/shoulders/butt/etc......even from little old ladies....tons of times...(ive been around a while).

To think of all that sex I have missed out on.!!!😂

But as to the bolded....., part of who we all are is what we look like...as a whole person...not a just potentially photoshopped head shot....(which according to a lot of guys I know who used OLD tell me what they are getting to try to work with)....

I don't understand what the deal is...or why politely asking to see an entire person would be considered some kind of sexually driven request..And I am not ashamed of saying that a woman's sexuality is a big factor in her desirability and a major part of her sexuality comes from her body.....Don't blame me for this, blame Our Creator...

TFY

Well i gave you a female perspective and why it can come across insulting. Also women are intuitive and good at reading between the lines.

You dont even need to tell them that  about sexuality and desirability etc etc for them to know why youre asking for body pics 😂

[thefooloftheyear]

40 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Well i gave you a female perspective and why it can come across insulting. Also women are intuitive and good at reading between the lines.

You dont even need to tell them that  about sexuality and desirability etc etc for them to know why youre asking for body pics 😂

Ok....but why is that considered such a negative??

I can equate the same thing to a woman asking about what a guy does for a living or how much he makes...It matters to just about all women I know...Most guy accept that they will have to provide that info if they are in a situation of dating...In many cases, a man's desirability is tied to his ability to provide(his $$=/career)...Yes, even in these times where women make good money, they care....

Again, not to  🐴 🔨...It just seems odd to me that a woman wouldn't at least provide a clear body pic...or feel that somehow that immediately deems him as a sexual deviant for asking...

TFY

[stillafool]

I'm not in the dating world any longer (thank God) but if I was I wouldn't have a problem sending a full body shot.  I would be fully clothed and probably in a group picture.  I'd rather he knows up front exactly what I look like so there's no disappointment and lies later.  I would want a full body shot of him standing with others as well.  Besides if you say no to a full body shot they are going to automatically assume there's a reason and probably pass anyway.

[miranda561]

8 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said:

Ok....but why is that considered such a negative??

I can equate the same thing to a woman asking about what a guy does for a living or how much he makes...It matters to just about all women I know...Most guy accept that they will have to provide that info if they are in a situation of dating...In many cases, a man's desirability is tied to his ability to provide(his $$=/career)...Yes, even in these times where women make good money, they care....

Again, not to  🐴 🔨...It just seems odd to me that a woman wouldn't at least provide a clear body pic...or feel that somehow that immediately deems him as a sexual deviant for asking...

TFY

Ive never asked how much money a man makes  though 🤷‍♀️. I know its rude, so i dont do it. 

My earlier point was if i can meet a guy in person without asking for a full body pic, why can't he do the same? 

I've actually done that before and ended up meeting guys who were on the chubbier side. Im sure people would have seen us together and been like 🤔🤔, how did that happen.

 

[miranda561]

14 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I'm not in the dating world any longer (thank God) but if I was I wouldn't have a problem sending a full body shot.  I would be fully clothed and probably in a group picture.  I'd rather he knows up front exactly what I look like so there's no disappointment and lies later.  I would want a full body shot of him standing with others as well.  Besides if you say no to a full body shot they are going to automatically assume there's a reason and probably pass anyway.

Lucky you. 😂😂

From reading my own thread you must know how tiresome it can be, dating that is

[elaine567]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

.  Besides if you say no to a full body shot they are going to automatically assume there's a reason and probably pass anyway.

No problem, as he would already be binned for asking...

[SumGuy]

4 hours ago, stillafool said:

Besides if you say no to a full body shot they are going to automatically assume there's a reason and probably pass anyway.

Of course there is a reason she says no...it is just may not be the reason a guy assumes.  After all when one assumes....

I figure there are two primary reasons a woman says no when asked for a body shot (not that I ever have asked) or fails to post one.

1.  She feels she doesn't look good (true or not) and is hiding how she looks.

2. She is trying to remove her body as part of the equation for why men reach out to her because it is good and she is just tired of the men that seems to attract. 

The latter acts as a filter in two important ways: (a) it weeds out the players and those who are looks first and foremost no matter what they say, and (b) it weeds out the clueless, if a guy can't figure out that she didn't post a photo for a reason and have the sense not to ask, then he is clueless and/or feels she needs to prove herself to him (neither are attractive traits to her nor the kind of BS she wants to deal with).

Frankly if you are a guy and it bothers you just pass.  In either scenario of asking you pass or lose.  If she is way too overweight for you then you won't want to meet her.  If she is hot and using it as a filter then she is not going to want to meet you, and even if she does send a photo...it's strike one buddy...you better be all that when you meet.

Edited May 8, 2020 by SumGuy

[CaliforniaGirl]

I feel like some good points have been brought up here from the "why not do it?" side of things.

Before I start this post let me say that I agree that at least one clear pic of the person in question is to be expected on a dating site. I too would find it a bit weird if the person seemed literally to be hiding...like those "waving from inside a car" or "fishing in a boat" pics. 

So this isn't about that. This is about continuing to ask for *additional* pictures, as the OP was stating. 

I want to make a little analogy here as some of the men answering this thread seem genuinely mystified as to how this could be construed as offensive. And I agree. It actually isn't always offensive. As a few women have responded,  sometimes you get a vibe that can make the difference. Or sometimes it's somthing else, but the bottom line is...why on earth would a woman be offended or be turned off by being asked for *more* pics, when so many guys (according to the answers here) would send pretty much any type of pic requested, within reason, and not feel offended at all?

TL:DR - This sentence is that. Fair warning. This post WILL be too long. (It's Friday and I've been searching for something to help me put off the last leg of my work week. Success!) If you don't like that, don't read. OTOH, if you're really curious as to how some women's minds work (I will not universally speak for all women) here's what some of us have gone through, to make us feel this way.

*

So envision this.

As a little boy, you were born with your bank acocunt balance in an exposed place on your body. It's just naturally there, but of course, in a child it's very, very underdeveloped because after all, it's meant specifically as a sexual signal, an attractant. So you won't need it until puberty.

...which, for you and most of your friends, starts at an average age of 11. At 11, you start to notice when you look in the mirror that your bank balance is starting to...well, grow. I mean so far it's only like five bucks from Grandma plus a pice of unchewed gum you won on a bet, but it SHOWS, your'e even self-conscious about it, that's how sudden the change has occured.

But it's nature. It's an attractant. It's MEANT to be that way. Women are meant to judge you on it. Okay, so far so good. You've had a few little-guy crushes and you don't mind attracting girls, necessarily, though you don't quite know what to do with them yet. But the attention, even though you respond with "you're just a booger and you smell" followed by a whispered "will you go out with me? Don't tell anybody" is kind of nice. At first.

Then you start to notice that as you go anywhere - to town to walk around; walking or riding to school; the mall; the library; literally anywhere - you're getting looks not just from the girls you kinda like but from ALL types of women. 

This includes 40, 50...yeah (it's real) 60-year-old women. At any given time, WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION, any and all of these might leer at your bank account number and kind of give this dopy half-grin that says "I see that part of you. I kind of like it."

Still...well, okay. It's a tradeoff. (And I already know what some guys here will say, LOL. "Why would I mind if some old lady thinks I'm cute? Whatever.") ENTER...THE JUDGMENT.

You notice that the guy with the biggest, fattest bank account is the one who gets the most attention. He gets the most girls. In fact, he gets the girl you secretly have had a crush on for more than a year, the one you called a booger-head and asked to go out with you. It's still only middle school. You're still only a stupid kid. You don't even HAVE to buy anything with your bank account yet. Why the ffffffffffffff should your bank account even matter yet? You don't intend to use it. What does it even DO? It's just sitting there.

Suddenly, like the flip of a switch, you realize that your bank account, just one piece of you...*far from the whole you*...not the part that loves dinosaurs and dirty movies, is brilliant with science but sucks at alegebra, the part that has had going on twelve years of life on earth, has loved and hated and been a great friend and done s***ty things and heroic ones and has a future and hopes and dreams...

NONE of that actually supercedes the fact that YOU DON'T HAVE A VERY BIG BANK ACCOUNT.

Now here's the worst part. All your life, literally all of it you will be judged *initially* on that bank account. Remember, it's not *elective* that you give away your bank balance. It is physically there, let's say...on your forehead. If you try to hide it by wearing a hairstyle with long bangs women will wonder why, and they'll just pass you by. But...if you don't keep it competitively large, PLUS nicely-shaped...it has to be large in some areas (balance), small in others (debt), and so on...then *just on that one very visible part ALONE* you may automatically just not make the grade. You will never get a chance to show that woman you dig that there's so much more to you, because, well...

...other guys right near you have bigger bank accounts. More attractive ones.

If you object to this, you'll be told it's just nature. Women can't help it. What are they supposed to do? Turn off two million years of bilology starting with the first clamshell necklace and just not want a visibly big bank account anymore? Even the smartest woman is still, after all, a woman. She wants to be able to touch, stare at and use your bank account any time *she wishes*. She also...well, ha ha, this part is kind of embarrassing, but again, biology. Well...I mean, she kind of desires being able to walk into any room with a guy with his hair brushed way back on his forehead to show off the numbers of his bank account, and see all the other women instantly get jealous. It kind of gives her a lift.

This doesn't mean that a woman who will get past your less than adequate bank account, or a bank account that's too big in the wrong places, or just not balanced per the current, ever-changing trends won't love the whole you. She can, and will! How shallow do you think women are? Sure, she needs that biological fulfillment first, but she *also* wants other characteristics. But hon, if you have a very meh bank account she'll only love you as a friend. Don't shoot the messenger. Yell at God or Darwin for all of this.

Now. Over time, you notice things aren't necessarily getting better. I mean you actively work on your bank account. All the time. You try to keep it as attractive as possible. But I mean...ish happens. As you get older you accumulate debt. And I mean, let's just be real about something: a kid or two tends to pull a bank account way out of its original intended shape. We've all seen this.

It's not your fault but realize that if you'll be going into the world of OLD, the FIRST thing women will want to see will be a complete shot of your numbers. If you post just, say, this week's purchases and balance it might not be enough. "What is he hiding?" the women might think. But you do that anyway...because okay...biology. You get it. That's not ALL women want, it's just that very strong pull and you get it, you have your strong biological pulls too. But women start to ask you for more.

"I love that picture of this week's balance. I don't see any red at all. I hope this isn't forward but I just find that sexy. Hey...you wouldn't mind sending me the full month, right?"

So you send a screenshot from your phone of the last week of the month.

She now says, "You are so cute. You know, this is nothing against you, I swear, but I've had bad experiences before. Can I just see everything in between too? Then we can meet up."

What do you say at this point?

If your answer is "f--- off, hosebeast," then you get CaliforniaGirl's stamp of approval.

Now, how about if that happens not just once but over and over again? And if you put up even more pics of your bank account there will still be women who ask for even more pics of your money numbers? Just because. I mean...some women find that more important than others...

Meanwhile, and this is important, *women never have to do this. Women's bank accounts are located on the upper inner thigh which is routinely hidden in public and that's considered okay. A guy who harrasses a woman about her numbers is considered an upper-thigh-digger and shallow. He is loudly denounced online, by friends and anywhere else as greedy and shallow.*

Therefore, a woman will very, very rarely be OPENLY asked to produce her bank account numbers for the man's scrutiny, v. his being pretty much required, every single time, by every single woman PLUS extra proof.

And the women say "I don't know why guys complain about being asked for extra pics and closeups and full-month rolls of their bank accounts. I'm sure I wouldn't mind a bit if a man asked me for this. It would be no big deal."

(But of course, once a man did do this...she complained online and started threads about it...)

Would it be fair that that woman could judge you, the man who has, since the age of just 11, been openly judged on his bank account and had it scrutinized or just subtly glanced at by literally anyone walking by at will, but still is obligated to show more, and more...before he's worth $4.75 for a macchiato date?

***

Well, that's it for the analogy. This was so much fun and I wish I could make it a post on my blog but that would out me, LOL.

Happy Friday, everyone! 

[SumGuy]

@CaliforniaGirl  well put...if long

will probably fall on deaf ears but if you had an adult daughter what would you advise her to do if some guy on an OLD was asking her for full body pictures?  I presume you would err on the side that his motives and intentions are not good. 

Just to be clear on my position, I feel one clear photo is a must, although does not need to be full body or even half body.  If no photo or all blurry, all too distance to recognize her, or all clearly and seriously filtered...I just pass.

[CaliforniaGirl]

6 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

@CaliforniaGirl  well put...if long

will probably fall on deaf ears but if you had an adult daughter what would you advise her to do if some guy on an OLD was asking her for full body pictures?  I presume you would err on the side that his motives and intentions are not good. 

Just to be clear on my position, I feel one clear photo is a must, although does not need to be full body or even half body.  If no photo or all blurry, all too distance to recognize her, or all clearly and seriously filtered...I just pass.

Hmm, not sure I understand where you're coming from, but here's what I think. If I had an adult daughter who had no clear shots of her whole self, so to speak, not naked or anything, LOL, but just casual, I'd say - as I stated above in my encyclopedia length-entry post - that with OLD, of course you expect one actual **whole** **clear** pic of the person. So I don't get why you feel that would fall on deaf ears as agreement to that was literally almost the first thing I wrote.

The post above was based on the OP's post...where he asked for more pics, then yet more. And it was based on a few people saying, "I don't get it...why would women be bothered by being asked for more pics?" That seemed like a genuine question so I gave a tongue-in-cheek but direct analogy. All of the above...we women (actually, starting as girls, as children) experience every bit of that, except with our bodies. So of course we're more sensitive to it, that's what I was getting at.

So...I never disagreed with what you're saying above. (???) Again, I'm not sure I'm "getting" what you asked in the correct way, maybe you meant something else or maybe you're agreeing with me? Or...if you're saying what would I advise a daughter who was asked for, say, naked pics from a total stranger, well, I'd obviously say, Don't do it, you f******* moron.

Edited May 8, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[nospam99]

I'm a guy. So I can only guess that female psychology is 'close enough' to MY model of female psychology to make sense.

People on OLD are 'fishing' (Which I take to be the reason one site named itself Plenty of Fish). Knowing that they are fishing, hopefully they understand that the nature of the bait they use will influence the fish they hook.

Context: I use only four photos, clear, but mostly face and no head to toe full body. Frankly I don't have a handy full body photo and assume that, as a male, the women I'm fishing for don't care. I have especially taken into account numerous reports that women are repelled by both shirtless and dick pix.

Back to women knowing what is good bait. Since I'm more than satisfied to see a woman's full body photo where she is fully clothed, I hope most women understand that such photos are sufficient bait for most men, subject to their being dressed in the photo in a way that clearly suggests whether they are overweight or obese. Bikini and other photos that show a lot of skin are wonderful. But they make me wonder exactly what the woman is fishing for.

@californiagirl. VERY entertaining parable :D . Thanks! But the way you wrote it sounded like you were focusing on 'boobage' . As a guy whose assessment of a woman's body is the gestalt and has no fetish about breast size, large or small, I found it a bit difficult to spin the story to be relateable to me as a male.

[SumGuy]

@CaliforniaGirl  oh not on your ears, but others, especially men who may not have daughters.

I am agreeing with you by the way.   

Also, even if my daughter was asked for just a non-provocative fully clothed, full body photo, I'd err on the side of this guy is a creeper...drop him before it gets worse.

 

My position statement is also at large before someone says am I suggesting someone go out with someone sight unseen.

Edited May 8, 2020 by SumGuy

[chillii]

 

Yeah , must admit , even this thread , 8 pages of why a man shouldn't ask for full pics and excuses for not having full pics. lt always go the same way but l'll never for life of me see what the damn problem is she should have a couple of real pics it's a date site on a computer for crying out loud , you'd wanna know what she looks like and she'll wanna know what he looks like it's a perfectly natural large proportion of the equation. A face and shoulders don't cut it she could be 3ft wide below that . Well some guys might like that but some won't but to hide whatever or act like an idiot just because she forces him to have to even have to ask in the first place because she hasn't put in a decent pic is just bs if your serious.

lt ain't rocket science.

Edited May 8, 2020 by chillii

[CaliforniaGirl]

10 minutes ago, nospam99 said:

I'm a guy. So I can only guess that female psychology is 'close enough' to MY model of female psychology to make sense.

People on OLD are 'fishing' (Which I take to be the reason one site named itself Plenty of Fish). Knowing that they are fishing, hopefully they understand that the nature of the bait they use will influence the fish they hook.

Context: I use only four photos, clear, but mostly face and no head to toe full body. Frankly I don't have a handy full body photo and assume that, as a male, the women I'm fishing for don't care. I have especially taken into account numerous reports that women are repelled by both shirtless and dick pix.

Back to women knowing what is good bait. Since I'm more than satisfied to see a woman's full body photo where she is fully clothed, I hope most women understand that such photos are sufficient bait for most men, subject to their being dressed in the photo in a way that clearly suggests whether they are overweight or obese. Bikini and other photos that show a lot of skin are wonderful. But they make me wonder exactly what the woman is fishing for.

@californiagirl. VERY entertaining parable . Thanks! But the way you wrote it sounded like you were focusing on 'boobage' . As a guy whose assessment of a woman's body is the gestalt and has no fetish about breast size, large or small, I found it a bit difficult to spin the story to be relateable to me as a male.

It seemed unwieldy to add various body parts and make it a plural. And even as the author I had to admit that that behemoth was bulky enough.  Really, you can't get that the focus on something as a repeat thing over decades would make one more sensitive to getting demands to look at even more of that thing, whether just boobs or the whole thing?  It's okay...I already know I'd better keep my day job! (Joke...)

Now...one comment on your assumptions above. Women do often want a full body shot because they get catfished too, and how. Again...the idea wasn't to have *no* pics with the person's body up on OLD. People do need to be physically attracted to one another and yes, both women and men may be trying to rule out something like extreme obesity. It's a thing. The OP apparently already had pics, then asked for face pics, THEN asked for body pics...he wondered why she blocked him...it wasn't that he didn't have pics. I agree that a clear shot of the person makes sense. But please don't think women don't want to see the man's body. We may not be drooling over it or demanding an eight-pack but we too want to know the basics. I repeat...*the basics.* Women have been exposed all our lives to a sense of entitlement to view every physical part of us as a prerequisite for receiving attention so of course a creeper demanding more and more pics can be viewed just that way...as a creeper.

Hope that made sense.

 

[SumGuy]

It goes on for pages because men complain about it and just can't fathom why any reasonable women would not have a full body photo and then women come in and say why, but that never seems to change many minds.  

 I can say in my direct experience with OLD, those women who did not have full body photos who I met were in every case in very good shape, so for them I am sure it was a filter to weed out players and guys who don't get it.  It depends on what she is serious about.  If she seriously does not want a man who is first and second about looks (no matter what they say), then it is seriously the way to go.

I can also say the times I was "cat-fished" in the weight department the women had plenty of full body photos, they just were obviously a bit outdated.

[basil67]

8 hours ago, max3732 said:

To me asking for a full body pic is no more a sexual request than asking about height.

That's the thing: I would never ask a guy about his height.  I'd meet the person and let the cards fall where they do.

[CaliforniaGirl]

11 minutes ago, chillii said:

 

Yeah , must admit , even this thread , 8 pages of why a man shouldn't ask for full pics and excuses for not having full pics. lt always go the same way but l'll never for life of me see what the damn problem is she should have a couple of real pics it's a date site on a computer for crying out loud , you'd wanna know what she looks like and she'll wanna know what he looks like it's a perfectly natural large proportion of the equation. A face and shoulders don't cut it she could be 3ft wide below that . Well some guys might like that but some won't but to hide whatever or act like an idiot just because she forces him to have to even have to ask in the first place because she hasn't put in a decent pic is just bs if your serious.

lt ain't rocket science.

It's really not...so, bottom line...instead of demanding more and more pics like pulling teeth and/or complaining about it...probably, it's best to just move along to the next woman or man. (On OLD.)

That's really the only answer, I'd think.

As one poster above noted, if there are few pics for a reason (and that reason isn't always that she doesn't have an Instagram body), and someone passes on her based on that, then they weren't made for one another anyway. Moving along = easy and probably correct.

[CaliforniaGirl]

2 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

It goes on for pages because men complain about it and just can't fathom why any reasonable women would not have a full body photo and then women come in and say why, but that never seems to change many minds.  

 I can say in my direct experience with OLD, those women who did not have full body photos who I met were in every case in very good shape, so for them I am sure it was a filter to weed out players and guys who don't get it.  It depends on what she is serious about.  If she seriously does not want a man who is first and second about looks (no matter what they say), then it is seriously the way to go.

I can also say the times I was "cat-fished" in the weight department the women had plenty of full body photos, they just were obviously a bit outdated.

^ Bolding and underline mine...Now that is interesting. 

[SumGuy]

48 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

^ Bolding and underline mine...Now that is interesting. 

I put "cat-fished" in quotes because I still had a fun time talking to them, and that is my criteria for a worthwhile meeting, so didn't feel like I wasted my time by meeting them.   

[CaliforniaGirl]

25 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

I put "cat-fished" in quotes because I still had a fun time talking to them, and that is my criteria for a worthwhile meeting, so didn't feel like I wasted my time by meeting them.   

Right...but I mean, it's interesting that the ones who did have the photos were the catfish. In the scenarios you mentioned, I mean.

[poppyfields]

Men and women live and function in two entirely different realities, yin and yang if you will, or whatever we wish to call it. 

And in this particular case, I wish men could see and at least try to understand a women’s reality.

As women, we are often objectified by men, viewed only as an object of sexual desire.  I’m about as sexual as they come and while I love sex with whomever I am attracted to and dating at the time, I don’t relish being treated as a commodity or an object without regard to my personality or dignity "before" ever even meeting, which is how it feels when men ask or even sometimes pressure for more pics..

THAT's the turn off, for me and many women I associate with.  That said I do (or did) have one face and one full body, fully clothed, nothing too revealing.  Don't ask for more, it's just a turn off for reason just explained. 

I’m sure there are some women who objectify men as well, and I would venture to guess, men love it!  Why?  Because his reality is entirely different from a woman’s reality.

I really try hard to understand men’s reality and all the BS they’re forced to tolerate from some women.  To the guys, could you at least try to understand a woman’s reality regarding this?

Just try?

 

Edited May 9, 2020 by poppyfields

[thefooloftheyear]

2 hours ago, SumGuy said:

@CaliforniaGirl  well put...if long

will probably fall on deaf ears but if you had an adult daughter what would you advise her to do if some guy on an OLD was asking her for full body pictures?  I presume you would err on the side that his motives and intentions are not good. 

Just to be clear on my position, I feel one clear photo is a must, although does not need to be full body or even half body.  If no photo or all blurry, all too distance to recognize her, or all clearly and seriously filtered...I just pass.

We never agree on anything, no offense, but the streak would continue here....

And this is coming from not only the dad of an "almost" adult daughter, but also a very protective parent...Its unlikely she'd do something like this(OLD), and she already has guys going nuts over her(shes even more attractive than she knows)., so lets just play along with your scenario for the sake of this argument....

If she showed me her profile and there is only one pic of her face and/or none that showed her entire body, and a guy politely asked, and she thought he was a real prospect, I would likely tell her to send a "normal" picture of herself in a normal setting that shows what she looks like as an entire person, and not just a head and neck....Id tell her he probably just wants to see the whole picture...

Maybe I am coming at this from a different perspective...... I understand what good guys who have a lot going for them want in a woman...Guys that want women that look good and have a nice physique aren't all perverts....In fact its the exact opposite, usually...And a woman isn't considered trashy for accentuating those features....She's actually smart...if that's who she really is and isn't some type of game or show..

One of the oddest things about this thread is that even heavy/overweight women I have seen make sure you notice their enormous tits and ample cleavage in every photo they post, whether dating or not...

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

@CaliforniaGirl

Look....no one said being a woman was easy....(least not me, anyway)

At least you will outlive us...

(Great post, btw)...

TFY

[max3732]

2 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

It seemed unwieldy to add various body parts and make it a plural. And even as the author I had to admit that that behemoth was bulky enough.  Really, you can't get that the focus on something as a repeat thing over decades would make one more sensitive to getting demands to look at even more of that thing, whether just boobs or the whole thing?  It's okay...I already know I'd better keep my day job! (Joke...)

Now...one comment on your assumptions above. Women do often want a full body shot because they get catfished too, and how. Again...the idea wasn't to have *no* pics with the person's body up on OLD. People do need to be physically attracted to one another and yes, both women and men may be trying to rule out something like extreme obesity. It's a thing. The OP apparently already had pics, then asked for face pics, THEN asked for body pics...he wondered why she blocked him...it wasn't that he didn't have pics. I agree that a clear shot of the person makes sense. But please don't think women don't want to see the man's body. We may not be drooling over it or demanding an eight-pack but we too want to know the basics. I repeat...*the basics.* Women have been exposed all our lives to a sense of entitlement to view every physical part of us as a prerequisite for receiving attention so of course a creeper demanding more and more pics can be viewed just that way...as a creeper.

Hope that made sense.

 

It was an interesting story, but the analogy kind of lost me as well. Since I didn't have any sisters and am pretty obviously clueless about women what was the whole thing about the bank account only becoming a factor as you got older? Is it just when you got to the age that the opposite sex starts to notice you?

Look at the OP again. What you described here isn't accurate. She only had pics from the side so I couldn't even see what her face looked like. Do you really think it helps to have pics from the side where you can't see her? I think she had 2 pics like that. Do you think it's really too much to ask to be able to see someone's face and a basic idea of their body type?

You seem to be saying here that a clear shot of the person makes sense. The women I was messaging didn't have a clear shot which I found a bit suspicious. If she's going to put pictures up why not put ones up where you can see what she looks like? It's not like she already had several clear pics of her face and body and I was still asking so I could look at additional body parts or something. 

All I want to see on a profile is the basics. If she had 1 or 2 pics and you could clearly see her face and basic body type that's all I need to see and I don't think that's too much to ask. We've already established though that if I can't see what she looks like then even if I'm attracted to everything else she's posted I'm best off just moving on to the next profile