geezitsmatt Posted March 29, 2020 Share Posted March 29, 2020 i just told my bestfriend that i love him. Weve been bros for a couple years. Met on the internet. We grew close really fast. We made a promise to each other that we will be best friends for life. But lately, he's been MIA. Went back with his cheating ex girlfriend, he's friends again with the gay guy from his town that hates me. Yeah i know im jealous. But i just told him. And now im scared of his reply. It destroys me that im scared to see his reaction. after all those years youd think you know the person pretty well, and I did, but hes changed. and idk what to feel or say. Just had to let it out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted March 29, 2020 Share Posted March 29, 2020 It sounds like your friendship is hitting the rocks anyway. I don't see why you shouldn't tell him if the compulsion was that strong. No one can see the future or how this will work out. I do wonder though why you took this chance after you noted that he had changed with the question being: who were you confessing to? Was it the guy you knew or the one that had evolved into someone you didn't know? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 29, 2020 Share Posted March 29, 2020 If romance hasn't developed after a fairly short of time, it's not going to. Romance has momentum. Doesn't develop from just stewing in friendship for years. Sorry I know you're going through a bad time. the sooner you move on from this guy is sooner you will find someone who loves you back in the way you want to be loved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 What were you expecting from confessing that to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author geezitsmatt Posted April 9, 2020 Author Share Posted April 9, 2020 On 3/29/2020 at 10:35 AM, schlumpy said: It sounds like your friendship is hitting the rocks anyway. I don't see why you shouldn't tell him if the compulsion was that strong. No one can see the future or how this will work out. I do wonder though why you took this chance after you noted that he had changed with the question being: who were you confessing to? Was it the guy you knew or the one that had evolved into someone you didn't know? Jesus yall make him sound like a complete a**h***. Theres just a lot of history. He saved my life. We were super close. He did answer, saying that he's not going anywhere and that he'll always be there for me. Its a whole s*** show because I care too much. Its not about romance, or anything like that. I just have this connection to him, I cannot lose him. I told him about my feelings because I couldnt live with the secret anymore. its been eating me up for years now. You know sometimes theres something you love, like drugs for instance, and you keep doing it because you love the feeling. You fell in love with the high. You know its bad for you, every addict knows that, but the love you have for the drugs is just deeper. What can I say, it's complicated. I also have been getting high to forget how i feel. Its funny because the voices in my head, the ones that are screaming his name and carving down his initials in my brain are a little quiet when im high. Lately tho, they havent been much help. Its a complicated situation. Theres so much to this story you know. He saved me life, I saved his couple years ago. Its just what we do. We stick around each other because this is what our friendship is like. To the person saying this friendship is going down.. Maybe it is. He's probably tired of my clingy ass and tired to reassure me every other day. He's probably asking himself how to not hurt me while getting distant. He says he's not. I want to believe him, because I did give him the chance to leave when i told him about my feelings, and I didnt leave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted April 9, 2020 Share Posted April 9, 2020 2 minutes ago, geezitsmatt said: Its not about romance, or anything like that. I just have this connection to him, I cannot lose him. I told him about my feelings because I couldnt live with the secret anymore. its been eating me up for years now. I think it's better to tell a person, regardless of the outcome. There is a quote that goes something like, "Untold love hurts more than rejected love." And I guess I'm of that mindset, my soul isn't at peace if the people I love don't know it over the long-run. So I totally understand that compulsion and I don't think anything is wrong with it as long as you don't have expectations that anything in particular will happen after confessing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author geezitsmatt Posted April 9, 2020 Author Share Posted April 9, 2020 11 hours ago, healing light said: I think it's better to tell a person, regardless of the outcome. There is a quote that goes something like, "Untold love hurts more than rejected love." And I guess I'm of that mindset, my soul isn't at peace if the people I love don't know it over the long-run. So I totally understand that compulsion and I don't think anything is wrong with it as long as you don't have expectations that anything in particular will happen after confessing. I did not have any expectations, because I already knew part of the answer. I knew there was not reciprocity. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 9, 2020 Share Posted April 9, 2020 11 hours ago, geezitsmatt said: Its not about romance, or anything like that. I just have this connection to him, I cannot lose him. How can you stay friends with a man you are in love with who doesn't feel the same way? You will eventually get hurt. What are you going to do when he finds a girl he wants to be in a relationship with? Link to post Share on other sites
Author geezitsmatt Posted April 10, 2020 Author Share Posted April 10, 2020 11 hours ago, stillafool said: How can you stay friends with a man you are in love with who doesn't feel the same way? You will eventually get hurt. What are you going to do when he finds a girl he wants to be in a relationship with? I honestly don't know. He's just a part of me i guess. He's been here for me countless of times, and i told him I'll always be there. He's had a girlfriend last year, for 7 months. She's bad s*** crazy like its bad and she hated me because I was his support system and she wasn't. Theres just this one friend, yknow, that if he calls you because he needs you, you have to be there until they are better. thats how our friendship is. It sucks, and I wish he could feel the same way. Every straight boy questioned their sexuality. He did before too and realized he's straight. I can't change anything, i just gotta let him do his thing and if he ever questions it again well imma be here to help him figure s*** out. He knows im husband material (not bragging, everybody knows that from me) im just a guy. One day ill move on, and my feelings will fade away. I just gotta wait for this day to come. Meanwhile, I gotta deal with it. Most of yall just throw that love away, because theres no reciprocity, but theres a meaning to my feelings. Maybe I do have stronger feelings and its wrong because it hurts me or whatever so i should go. But the love i can get from him, being his bestfriend (i mean idk whats going on tho its a touchy situation rn) is enough for me to go through hell. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted April 28, 2020 Share Posted April 28, 2020 I've read through another thread of yours and I can honestly say that you sound like a decent guy, and much like everybody else, I can relate. I've been talking to someone online for awhile now myself and I've managed to catch feelings myself but I'm not even sure if she's even aware of it or not despite the fact that we've talked nearly every single day for a few months now. But whenever you put yourself out there and admit feelings of any type, it just changes the landscape. Of everything. They may or may not be reciprocated. But I think that any true friendship will stand the test of time no matter what. But I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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