Dating younger men vs older men

[Letschill]

I'm a middle aged guy in his 40's. I date women of all ages. But I hear complaints from women that they aren't attracted to younger guys. I also Have younger male friends who tellme they have difficulty dating, Ladies, what is the difference in the 2 age groups? You're the ones who decide what you like. 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

The difference is social status; women like men who take them out dating... Sure, having a young fit guy around with a 6-pac is nice, but at the end of the day, those guys are of high value, so they don't need to put much effort into dating women to be attractive... Women WANT to be taken out, have a date night, this and that, most younger men, between the struggles of life, don't have the resources to consistently do this and it leaves the woman feeling unappreciated... For younger women, not going out is easier to deal with, because they have other men readily available to take them out, but as a woman gets older, she needs to put in more effort to find a quality man, because most of the quality men are already taken, so a night out for the older woman is of much more consequence.

As a 40 year old man, you are in the prime of your life... You are probably somewhat near your peak earning potential, you probably also still have your health... Its where the two significant points intersect, social status and health. The reason it is difficult for you to date women, is because you have more options right now than you have ever had, its difficult to make a choice... Women in their early to late 20's have the same issue, they have so many options that they spend their prime years exploring their options, then they find themselves in their later years, without nearly as many options, due to the fact that, again, the valuable men have all been taken.

So yeah, older women are attracted to men their own age, but older men have so many other options that its difficult for them to capture men their own age... They grow resentful of this, even though they enjoyed these same options in their younger years... To be fair, some people don't enjoy their prime years, but spend them in turmoil and despair, it happens, it shouldn't but it does... Life isn't fair.

As an older man, you can date an infinite amount of younger women, but older women expect you to spend your resources on them, so your choices are limited in what older women you date... But younger women are harder to get committed to, because they have so many options, especially when other older men see that she is fine with dating older men, then it really becomes a social status competition... The younger woman wants to capitalize on her best options, just as the older man wants to capitalize on his.

[basil67]

I asked 20yo daughter for you   She has just expanded the dating range of men she will consider up to 26yo.    She would not consider men older than this because she believes they will be in a different stage of life to her.   And if the 36yo has a lifestyle which is compatible with her 20yo life, then she feels that he's emotionally stunted.    So here's a young woman who will only consider younger men.

Edited April 1, 2020 by basil67

[basil67]

1 hour ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

The difference is social status; women like men who take them out dating...

Hey, I always thought you were a dude...but here you are answering for ladies haha.   I sure got that wrong.

Edited April 1, 2020 by basil67

[basil67]

As a young woman back many years ago, I did have a fling with a fellow who was 10 years my senior.  To me it was a bit of summer holiday naughty fun, but he got all serious and wanted me to move away from home and go live with him about 600kms away.   I didn't contemplate it for a moment - similar to what my daughter said, we had little in common with our different life stages.  

 

[Fletch Lives]

It's all over the board.......some women like older men, some like them the same age, others are cougars.

[blueberrypanda]

I know a woman who is 35 and never dates men older than 30! Likewise I know a woman who is 40 and likes men who are 25. But women around age 25 often like men over 30. Seems to change then they get older and go in opposite direction.

[Emilie Jolie]

A friend of mine has been in a happy relationship with a guy 12 years younger for 4 years. I'm in my 40s. My dating range is no less than 5 years, mainly because I generally don't find 20s to mid 30s men attractive, with the odd outlier. 

That's the paradox of heterosexual life; men age way better than women, women mature way better than men.

[stillafool]

Most of the women I know have men 10 years younger or 5-10 years older than them.  I'm seeing more women going for younger men these days.  I don't know too many younger women with Sugar Daddies but guys closer to their age.  

[Azincourt]

7 hours ago, Letschill said:

I'm a middle aged guy in his 40's. I date women of all ages. But I hear complaints from women that they aren't attracted to younger guys. I also Have younger male friends who tellme they have difficulty dating, Ladies, what is the difference in the 2 age groups? You're the ones who decide what you like. 

Younger men are hot and fit, and they for the most part have all of their hair, but they lack sexual stamina, are selfish in bed, as many don't bother to get a woman off, they think sex is all about pounding(being raised on a diet of a porn wil do that).

Most of them are also broke and can't afford a wife and children yet.  Younger men are less likely to be faithful, as they have a lot more options than most middle-aged men, and lots and lots of guys just want to enjoy a non-strings attached, no commitment sexual relationship fo as long as they can, until they move on to the next best thing.

The advantages of dating a middle-aged man is that he usually has a good job by then, his own house, and as more than half of the men who are middle-aged suffer from erectile dysfunction/impotency, it's not like he's going to want to smash 5 times a day like a young man is gonna want to.

Quote

 

Most of the women I know have men 10 years younger or 5-10 years older than them.  I'm seeing more women going for younger men these days.  I don't know too many younger women with Sugar Daddies but guys closer to their age.  

 

For sure.

When I was 18 I was dating a 30 year old woman.

When I was 22  I was with a 35 year old woman.

When I was 25 I was with a 50 year old woman.

When I was 27 I was with a 70 year old woman.

The 30 and the 35 year old women, I had no idea about their real age, as they looked like they were in their early 20s and their social groups were made up of women in their late teens and early 20s.

The 50 year old and the 70 year old were rich as balls and they'd buy me expensive stuff that most 18 year old women couldn't afford.

I'll marry Madonna if I ever get to meet her. I seen pictures of her last boyfriend, the dude's 25 and has a small potbelly.

Who has a potbelly at the age of 25 🤣

Edited April 1, 2020 by Azincourt

[stillafool]

32 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

The 50 year old and the 70 year old were rich as balls and they'd buy me expensive stuff that most 18 year old women couldn't afford.

I guess both younger sexes have had this experience with people in this age group.  I remember my friends in their 20s would date guys (on the side) in this age group to get their student loans paid, rent, cars, new clothes, trips,etc., and I considered it prostitution.    I don't agree that younger men have lack sexual stamina.  The women I know that go younger the sex is the main reason because they don't need money.

[simpycurious]

55 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Younger men are hot and fit, and they for the most part have all of their hair, but they lack sexual stamina, are selfish in bed, as many don't bother to get a woman off, they think sex is all about pounding(being raised on a diet of a porn wil do that).

Most of them are also broke and can't afford a wife and children yet.  Younger men are less likely to be faithful, as they have a lot more options than most middle-aged men, and lots and lots of guys just want to enjoy a non-strings attached, no commitment sexual relationship fo as long as they can, until they move on to the next best thing.

The advantages of dating a middle-aged man is that he usually has a good job by then, his own house, and as more than half of the men who are middle-aged suffer from erectile dysfunction/impotency, it's not like he's going to want to smash 5 times a day like a young man is gonna want to.

For sure.

When I was 18 I was dating a 30 year old woman.

When I was 22  I was with a 35 year old woman.

When I was 25 I was with a 50 year old woman.

When I was 27 I was with a 70 year old woman.

The 30 and the 35 year old women, I had no idea about their real age, as they looked like they were in their early 20s and their social groups were made up of women in their late teens and early 20s.

The 50 year old and the 70 year old were rich as balls and they'd buy me expensive stuff that most 18 year old women couldn't afford.

I'll marry Madonna if I ever get to meet her. I seen pictures of her last boyfriend, the dude's 25 and has a small potbelly.

Who has a potbelly at the age of 25 🤣

Azin, I am seeing it A LOT right now with these older women TRYING to date younger guys.  Granted these are very well off very fit dudes but still.  I actually watched an OLD OLD movie recently called Vision Quest in the movie an older woman has a FLING with a young athlete.  I have SEEN this SO MANY TIMES.  It's funny you reference the singer Madonna cause she sang a song in the movie.  I looked the song up on Youtube afterwards and I know she is much older now but on the video SHE IS  A VERY SULTRY WOMAN.   A woman like that oozes sex appeal, mystery and is just a SMOKE SHOW. 

[Interstellar]

Younger women like older men who don’t look old. Someone who takes good care of themselves and  not narcissistic.

For example, a 50 year old guy who has the  body and face of a 30 year old, etc..

Edited April 1, 2020 by Interstellar

[elaine567]

2 minutes ago, Interstellar said:

For example, a 50 year old guy who has the  body and face of a 30 year old, etc..

...and how often does that happen?

[Azincourt]

32 minutes ago, Interstellar said:

Younger women like older men who don’t look old. Someone who takes good care of themselves and  not narcissistic.

 

Yes, but there are many young women who'll dump the guy if they find out about the guys age, so he should only be forward with his real age after he has slept with her, so if he does get dumped, he didn't waste his time. I learned that lesson when I was about 25 and she was 18.

There are women who don't care that he's 10, 15 years older than her, sure, but those women are usually only looking for a Friends with  benefits siituation, or an one-night stand.

Besides, kinda weird when you're in your 30s and you go meet your 18-22 year old girlfriend's parents and the dudes are like only 10 to 15 years older than you 🤣

Quote

...and how often does that happen?...and how often does that happen?

Not often.

But most young men are highly unattractive in either case, both physically and economically.

The average American man is 5'9'' at 190lbs more than 20%+ body fat. The average British man is probably worse than that.

Then there are those guys who are in their 20s and are like 5'5''(and no, they don't look like Tom Cruise) which makes them invisible to a fair share of physically attractive young women.

Then there are those young men who are already bald, or who have a weak chin/jawline, or who have narrow shoulders and small forearms and slim wrists, making them look like pretty gils instead, and honestly, the 19 year old Leonardo Dicaprio-look is only attractive if the chick is a lesbian in the closet, or if you are an homosexual man - lots of gay men love the twink look.

My dad's in his 60's.

6'1'' 200lbs at 9% body fat.

He has all of his hair still.

Looks to be at least 20 years younger than his real age.

My mom's always bragging about how young my father looks and how old men his age and even younger look.

Mom still proud of seeing dad being approached and hit on by attractive women in their 30s.

I dunno, he doesn't look like much to me. He's an exact copy of 40 year old Errol Flynn, which is pretty hot for grannies I guess, but these days?

 

Edited April 1, 2020 by Azincourt

[Azincourt]

58 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

Azin, I am seeing it A LOT right now with these older women TRYING to date younger guys.  Granted these are very well off very fit dudes but still.  I actually watched an OLD OLD movie recently called Vision Quest in the movie an older woman has a FLING with a young athlete.  I have SEEN this SO MANY TIMES.  It's funny you reference the singer Madonna cause she sang a song in the movie.  I looked the song up on Youtube afterwards and I know she is much older now but on the video SHE IS  A VERY SULTRY WOMAN.   A woman like that oozes sex appeal, mystery and is just a SMOKE SHOW. 

Those are the women who married men their own age despite not being physically attracted to them, but these guys had money, and those women were looking to cash out. After the divorce, they have more than enough financial security to go after the men they really are into, which for them happen to be younger men.

Jennifer Lopez also hooked up for some time with a 24 year old dancer, dude worked for her, but when she decided she wanted to get married again, she got with A-Rod. The dude bought her a 5 million dollar engagment ring. Ya think 400 millions in the  bank Justin Bieber would've have gotten her that?

Tho, she is pretty hot still, and yeah, Madonna is still very attractive.  if we're going by sexyness and attractiveness - I'd go for Monica Belluci.

She's what, 55 years old now? Her ex-husband is a couple years younger, and he divorced her to get married to a 23 year old super model, about a year ago.

Dude is living the life. Got to sleep daily(at least I hope he did) with one of the world's most beautiful women when she was young and super hot, and now that he's almost 60 - he's sleeping with a early 20s something super model that most guys her own age wouldn't even be able to land a date with 🤣

That's the main reason why I'd trade my immortal soul for tens upon tens of millions of dollars.

You keep getting older, but they stay 20 forever 🤣

[Allupinnit]

I've always wanted to date men around my own age, same with my friends.  I married a man 5 years older.  We make the same kind of money.  That's how I've seen it play out in real life - people ending up with other regular people in their own league.  You can't compare the average Joe with celebrities you know it's not the same ballgame.

[Ruby Slippers]

I've always had relationships with men around my age or older. My boyfriend is 12 years older.

I've been on a few random dates with younger men, but I only agreed because they were very persistent... and exceptional guys. It was mostly a novelty. 

I'm fairly traditional in romance, am most attracted to strong, stable men who are comfortable in the leader, provider, and head of the family position. I'm a natural leader myself and definitely take the lead in certain areas, but I like knowing that my man is competent enough that I can relax at times and follow his lead.

[mark clemson]

4 hours ago, elaine567 said:

...and how often does that happen?

Once in a while... 🙂

[mark clemson]

33 minutes ago, Allupinnit said:

I've always wanted to date men around my own age, same with my friends.  I married a man 5 years older.  We make the same kind of money.  That's how I've seen it play out in real life - people ending up with other regular people in their own league.  You can't compare the average Joe with celebrities you know it's not the same ballgame.

I think that's mostly true. We tend to notice the exceptions more - they stick in our minds more, kind of like the occasional terrible driver who colors our view of freeway driving, when 99% of them are just fine.

Certainly age differences have been happening for millennia and will continue to, but they aren't the majority. Some stats are linked below (chart inset in page).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

[simpycurious]

3 hours ago, Azincourt said:

Those are the women who married men their own age despite not being physically attracted to them, but these guys had money, and those women were looking to cash out. After the divorce, they have more than enough financial security to go after the men they really are into, which for them happen to be younger men.

Jennifer Lopez also hooked up for some time with a 24 year old dancer, dude worked for her, but when she decided she wanted to get married again, she got with A-Rod. The dude bought her a 5 million dollar engagment ring. Ya think 400 millions in the  bank Justin Bieber would've have gotten her that?

Tho, she is pretty hot still, and yeah, Madonna is still very attractive.  if we're going by sexyness and attractiveness - I'd go for Monica Belluci.

She's what, 55 years old now? Her ex-husband is a couple years younger, and he divorced her to get married to a 23 year old super model, about a year ago.

Dude is living the life. Got to sleep daily(at least I hope he did) with one of the world's most beautiful women when she was young and super hot, and now that he's almost 60 - he's sleeping with a early 20s something super model that most guys her own age wouldn't even be able to land a date with 🤣

That's the main reason why I'd trade my immortal soul for tens upon tens of millions of dollars.

You keep getting older, but they stay 20 forever 🤣

No idea how old she (Madonna) was in that video for the Vision Quest movie but she has the it factor for sure.  It is something difficult to describe about a woman but so easy to recognize.  Very few seem to have it but it is very apparent when it's there.  Immense loads of shear sex appeal combined with being mysterious and aloof. WOW

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

Hey, I always thought you were a dude...but here you are answering for ladies haha.   I sure got that wrong.

Were equals so whats the difference 😉

[Azincourt]

1 hour ago, Allupinnit said:

I've always wanted to date men around my own age, same with my friends.  I married a man 5 years older.  We make the same kind of money.  That's how I've seen it play out in real life - people ending up with other regular people in their own league.  You can't compare the average Joe with celebrities you know it's not the same ballgame.

But the average joe ends up with the average jane because he's average.

He wants to be average.

If he had self-respect he would work on himself.

Like,  hit the gym hard since he was15/18 years old, play sports,  and go to college with the goal to make as much money as possible, if they don't have talent for the dramatic arts, the music industry, sports etc.

That way he can reach for someone whose league is higher than his own.

For example, Justin Bieber a skinny little guy. His wife is a super top model. What makes him be part of her league is not his looks.

It's his money. His immense wealth. Without it, he'd probably be married to average jane.

Quote

No idea how old she (Madonna) was in that video for the Vision Quest movie but she has the it factor for sure.  It is something difficult to describe about a woman but so easy to recognize.  Very few seem to have it but it is very apparent when it's there.  Immense loads of shear sex appeal combined with being mysterious and aloof. WOW

Madonna is 61 years old.  Old enough to be my mother.and I'm young enough to be her toy boy 🤣

Edited April 1, 2020 by Azincourt

[Allupinnit]

Just now, Azincourt said:

But the average joe ends up with the average jane because he's average.

He wants to be average.

If he had self-respect he would work on himself.

Like,  hit the gym hard since he was15/18 years old, play sports,  and go to college with the goal to make as much money as possible, if they don't have talent for the dramatic arts, the music industry, sports etc.

That way he can reach for someone whose league is higher than his own.

Well, ok... but not everyone needs someone way out of their league to be happy.  Most people want a real partner not just someone "hot."

[Miss Spider]

I’ve never dated a guy that’s younger than me, but as long as they were over 21, I wouldn’t be opppsed. Different age groups are generally very different, but each have good things about them and bad things. Generally I date guys around my age to a few years older bc that’s the age group that I seem to click with the most and vice versa i suppose