Dating younger men vs older men

[Azincourt]

24 minutes ago, Allupinnit said:

Well, ok... but not everyone needs someone way out of their league to be happy.  Most people want a real partner not just someone "hot."

No, not everyone needs someone way out of their league to be happy.

Tho it does help quite a bit. When your girlfriend is smoking, you're a lot more motivated to bother listening to her speak about her problems, you're more likely to be romantic and sweet and kind, because you know a woman like that is pursued by a whole lotta other guys, and you gotta have an edge on them for her to get with you, and to stay with you.

When you are more attractive than your girlfriend, you know she's gonna have a hard time  finding a man as attractive as you, or more, so she is far more likely to burden you with 0 expectations and 0 problems, and a lot more likely to sleep with you often and enthusiastically to keep you around.

Even more so, when you live in a college town/beach town, where there's 5 women who are single for every 1 guy who is single.

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Men are happier husbands when they have hot wives.

That’s the takeaway from a new study published recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Sounds like science of the obvious, and brings up numerous questions, the most prominent one being how the "attractive" women were rated.

 

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They found that husbands with “attractive” wives were more satisfied at the beginning of their marriages and remained more satisfied over the following four years. However, women with attractive husbands were no more or less happy over those four years than women with less visually appealing husbands. Women were also less likely to be swayed by attractiveness at all. For men, on the other hand, it played a significant role in their marital satisfaction.

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Most people want a real partner not just someone "hot."

What's a real partner?

Like, someone who listens to you, helps you out, gives you money, and all that? So... a friend who has sex with you?

Edited April 1, 2020 by Azincourt

[Allupinnit]

I suspect you and I have very different ideas about what a partnership is.  I have friends.  My H is my LIFE PARTNER and yes intimacy is a part of that.  

You can google and find any sort of "study" that will reinforce your own beliefs about what makes a good marriage long-term.  I'm sorry your ex wife got fat and you have to pay her money.  And if this didn't happen to you, then I'm wondering where these "opinions" of yours spring from, because you bring it up in nearly every post.

 

[Emilie Jolie]

15 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

When your girlfriend is smoking, you're a lot more motivated to bother listening to her speak about her problems, you're more likely to be romantic and sweet and kind, because you know a woman like that is pursued by a whole lotta other guys, and you gotta have an edge on them for her to get with you, and to stay with you.

Wait, what? Are you saying that the only thing that motivates you to be a good partner is fear of the competition? 

[Ellener]

15 hours ago, Letschill said:

I'm a middle aged guy in his 40's. I date women of all ages. But I hear complaints from women that they aren't attracted to younger guys. I also Have younger male friends who tellme they have difficulty dating, Ladies, what is the difference in the 2 age groups? You're the ones who decide what you like. 

Being blunt if all I want is sex it's probably going to be someone younger; fortunately I'm not ( often ) that shallow, and I have always preferred a mature man for a relationship. Mature as in age, but also- mature as in happy and fulfilled with themself; those two don't always correlate!

2 hours ago, Azincourt said:

the average joe ends up with the average jane because he's average.

He wants to be average.

If he had self-respect he would work on himself.

What does your partner have to say about your relationship? Average or not? 

Do people really 'grade themselves' that way? I don't, for myself or anyone else!

Edited April 1, 2020 by Ellener

[greymatter]

I’ve always been with men who are a bit younger except for when I was really young, when I dated older men.

Ex-husband was just 3 years younger. Last BF was also 3 years younger. Current (and hopefully forever) partner is 6 years younger. The youngest man I had dates with before I met my partner was 14 years younger, and that was definitely too much of an age difference.  

Edited April 1, 2020 by greymatter

[Azincourt]

13 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

The difference is social status; women like men who take them out dating...

Nah.

Women like men who are fun to be around, funny, charming, and if those men are easy on the eyes - women ain't complaining.

Women don't mind hanging out in groups, it's fun, not expensive, and there's no pressure.

When you take them out, they love going out to coffee shops. You pay for your coffee, she pays for hers. Or you take her to the park. It's free for everyone. Bookstores are also nice.  Basically, a woman goes out with you because she wants to be with you, not because of what you can buy her or pay for her.

That's the easiest way to figure out if a woman is a gold-digger or if she's interested in you.

Did you invite her to go out with you on a day-walk all over the town and she's excited about it, even when the day ends and you didn't buy her anything?

She feels a sexual connection, emotional connection yadayada.

Does she expect you to go on a dinner date/lunch date/drinks?

Gold-digger.

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Sure, having a young fit guy around with a 6-pac is nice, but at the end of the day, those guys are of high value, so they don't need to put much effort into dating women to be attractive...

What do you mean by ''high value''?

Do you mean hot?

What does being hot have anything with putting effort into dating women to be attractive?

Attractive men still have to make an effort. It's not like a guy's conventionally attractive and boom, millions of women throw themselves at him. Most of the men around here are male models trying to become actors,  and still many of these guys lose out when it comes to attractive women to men who are plain-looking, even severely unattractive, because those guys are rich, and most male models are broke as Greece's economy was broken up in 2008.

And even when there's no rich guys around, you can still lose out to a man who is less physically attractive than you because she has chemistry with him, whereas when she looks at you, she just sees high cheekbones, a square jawline, straight white teeth, deeply-set eyes, a full head of hair.

You know, just another generic-looking model or wannabe model. And lots of women would reject Brad Pitt or 6 feet-tall-on custom-made-shoes Tom Cruise for someone who is obviously not a hunk, but gets her engine roaring.

There's a lot more to a guy's physical attractiveness than just the way he looks, and a guy like Jack Nicholson, even without the money, fame and such could get laid a lot more than some boring, shy, awkward male model.

Besides, lots of women think that because you're ''tall''(average height in the Netherlands is 6 feet) and because you're good-looking and atheletic,  that you're a womanizer, that you want to sleep with every attractive young woman in a 100-mile radius around you, which in many cases are true, but then you have either women rejecting you because they're afraid of being ''cheated on'' or they go behind your back to tell the women you're talking to, to stay away from you because ''he's a bad man, he'll sleep with everyone.''

They become even more territorial about their potential boyfriends when say, you go to a humanities college, and the average woman is 5'9'' at 120lbs with straight white teeth, clear skin, big eyes, okay, the whole disney beauty look, but you don't feel beautiful because there's tens upon tens of thousands of women around who look just like you, and there are very few men attending college, and of the very few who go there,  some have a girlfriend and are loyal to her, some are men who are attracted to men, and some are not up to their standards.

 

 

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Women WANT to be taken out, have a date night,

 

Women can have that by going to a guy's house and netflix and chill.

Date nights are overated.  Where you gonna go?

The nightclub?  sure, if you want to spend the night yelling at her so she can hear you.  The Theather? What am I, my father?

drinks? I don't consume alcohol. It ages the skin and creates wrinkles.

We can go for a sea-swim at night, but that's dangerous so no thanks.

 

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this and that, most younger men, between the struggles of life, don't have the resources to consistently do this and it leaves the woman feeling unappreciated...

Bro, women will take what they can get.

Most male American millennials, most Italian men, most Spanish men, and certainly most Greek men live at home well into their 30s. You think women are expecting a guy to take them out on a date when the guy can barely afford toothpaste on his own?

Women adapt. They'll date broke men if they have to, or they can become part of the harem of a rich guy. I have no problem with that. Hey, one of the major reasons why I want to become rich(it won't happen tho is to have an harem of my own, like the Saudi Princes have, but lots of women would rather be the only girlfriend of a broke man, than the 10th girlfriend of a rich man.

 

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For younger women, not going out is easier to deal with, because they have other men readily available to take them out, but as a woman gets older, she needs to put in more effort to find a quality man, because most of the quality men are already taken, so a night out for the older woman is of much more consequence.

No, it's not that. For younger women it's easier not going out because most young women are not looking for something steady that early in their lives. They'll date the same guy on and off, casually, not expecting much from the guy because at the age, women just want to have fun.

No woman is easier to take to bed than a married woman or a young woman who has spent 17 years of her life under her parents vigilance, only to be left loose when she turns 18 and moves from her small town of a hundred souls, where everyone knows everyone, to a city with millions of men who actualy know what the purpose of sunscreen is.

Most women I meet who are in their late teens and early 20s, the ones who date me, the ones who hook-up with me, the ones who are maybe interested in having anything with me other than trying to get free-attention, are not going to have a care in the world when I tell them that I work in the services industry,  or that I live with a bunch of dudes from college, which is not exactly true.

I take the republican approach to dating. I pretend to be middle-class, which is to say, that I'm broke.  So women either get with me because they are attracted to me, or they take their exist and leave my life.

Women my age, women who are in their 30s and older, those women either ignore me because I have no interest in marriage, co-habitation, children, or in raising someone else's kid.  Those are the women who are going to react negatively if I don't take them out on a date, or if I do  take them out - they take offense when I ask for 2 bills instead of 1, and they assume that I'm cheap because I don't tip the waiter.

PS: I'm really cheap. You'll never meet a cheaper guy.

 

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As a 40 year old man, you are in the prime of your life...

hahaahaha. No.

A man's physical prime is 25.

A woman's physical prime is 21.

When you're 25, you're stil fit enough for most women to find your body to be hot enough for them to let you smash, without having to work out, without having to work any physical job, because your metabolism still loves you enough to let you have the same atlethic frame at 25, as the one you had at 18.

At that age, most men still have all of their hair, they can still perform sexually as often and as powerfully(erections become softer and softer as a man enters his 30s, according to doctors) as a 18 year old man can. It takes  a lot longer and it's a lot harder for a 40 year old man to get sexually excited than what it takes for a 20 year old man.

Yes, even when the young woman is smoking hot.

Besides, a 40 year old man is boring to most young women. In my 30s I have a lot more in common with a 20 year old woman than any 40 year old man could ever have, since, I dunno, the 20 year old woman and I are from the same generation, no?

A generation is 20 years.

 

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You are probably somewhat near your peak earning potential,

 

Yeah, a man making a lot of money attracts a lot of gold-diggers. Something I found out early in life is that middle-aged men don't care that the bombshell whose life they are bankrolling is only with them because of the money, and that they'll dump the guy for a 20-something, 30-something rich man with looks if he ever comes along and wants her. Oh, and he will. Just a matter of time.

You know why a lot of men complain about paying alimony and exorbitant child-support?

Because they married trophy wives.

 

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you probably also still have your health... Its where the two significant points intersect, social status and health.

 

I very much doubt the average 40 year old man has a better level of health than a 20 year old woman. It's not social status, it's the money. Say tomorrow I win the euromillions and 150 million euros enter my bank accounts. I work in the services industry.  I'm still a grunt, but I'm suddenly an extremely rich grunt. I can upgrade the women I date from very cute, very tall,but very flat(my surfboard has more curves than my girlfriends) to playboy models.

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The reason it is difficult for you to date women, is because you have more options right now than you have ever had,

Why would a lot of options make it difficult date women? You can date several women at the same time, you just have to make sure they don't find out about each other ,which frankly is very tiring, and you better come up with generic endearing names for them, because if you accidently call one of them the wrong name, it's over with that woman.

 

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its difficult to make a choice...

 

There is no need to make a choice. If you have 10 women interested in you - you date those 10 women at the same time. It's a lot of hard work, but so is being married ,and  having several girlfriends a the same time is a lot more fun than being married. But don't quote me on that. I've never been married before.

 

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Women in their early to late 20's have the same issue, they have so many options that they spend their prime years exploring their options, then they find themselves in their later years, without nearly as many options, due to the fact that, again, the valuable men have all been taken.

What?

My mom's in her 60s and she still has as many rich/physically attractive men who are 30 to 40 years younger than her, still chasing after her.  Men are always staring at me mom. Men are always trying to approach my mom when I'm not around. You think a 30 year old Laetitia Casta is going to have less options in men because she's 30 instead of being 20?

Most men can't afford a hot 20 year old woman, dude.  Most men aren't 40 year old Jeff Bezos with money coming out of their eyeballs. Honestly, most 40 year old men are pretty meh to look that, and I say that as a straight man, let alone what a 20 year old woman thinks about a 40 year old dude.

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So yeah, older women are attracted to men their own age, but older men have so many other options that its difficult for them to capture men their own age... They grow resentful of this, even though they enjoyed these same options in their younger years... To be fair, some people don't enjoy their prime years, but spend them in turmoil and despair, it happens, it shouldn't but it does... Life isn't fair.

Nah. That's not how it works. Most women want and  get a man their own age. They get the men they actually want to be with. 19 year old women will dump me for a 40-60 year old short, overweight, bald, yellowed-teeth, plain-looking man, because these dudes have millions in the bank and I don't.

But if I had Justin Bieber's money?

 

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As an older man, you can date an infinite amount of younger women, but older women expect you to spend your resources on them, so your choices are limited in what older women you date... But younger women are harder to get committed to, because they have so many options, especially when other older men see that she is fine with dating older men, then it really becomes a social status competition... The younger woman wants to capitalize on her best options, just as the older man wants to capitalize on his.

An infinite amount of younger women!  Billions of 18-22 year old women who are beauty queens like my mom was, Miss Italy,  swimsuit model, fashion model,  are throwing themselves at 40 year old men, because 40 year old men are in the prime of their lives.

Nahhh, my mom got married to my dad, who was 25 years old at the time, and was broke as f, didn't have his own home, hell he was a high school dropout, but he looked and still looks like Erroll Flynn, and that was good enough for my mother to reject/dump rich older men for him.

Now if only I could meet 2020's Miss Italy and convince her to have an open relationship with me.

''hey sweetie, how do you feel about me trying to sleep with your best friends and getting rejected?''

Hmm, I need to work on the delivery.

Baron brown studio acting lessons, here I come!

Edited April 1, 2020 by Azincourt

[Cookiesandough]

12 minutes ago, greymatter said:

I’ve always been with men who are a bit younger except for when I was really young, when I dated older men.

Ex-husband was just 3 years younger. Last BF was also 3 years younger. Current (and hopefully forever) partner is 6 years younger. The youngest man I had dates with before I met my partner was 14 years younger, and that was definitely too much of an age difference.  

What’s the difference between dating a younger guy vs older guy (if any)?

[littleblackheart]

ExH (only LTR) was 3 years younger, recent fling was 7 years younger, ONS/other were only slightly older (2 years max).

None of it was by design; I guess I'm not into men that are significantly older than me  (I'm 45).

[Azincourt]

1 hour ago, Allupinnit said:

I suspect you and I have very different ideas about what a partnership is.  I have friends.  My H is my LIFE PARTNER and yes intimacy is a part of that.  

You can google and find any sort of "study" that will reinforce your own beliefs about what makes a good marriage long-term.  I'm sorry your ex wife got fat and you have to pay her money.  And if this didn't happen to you, then I'm wondering where these "opinions" of yours spring from, because you bring it up in nearly every post.

 

Yes, we have very different ideas.

What you looked for a man was someone who had the life-long qualities you were seeking out in a potential husband.

What I seek in a woman is youth, beauty, and the desire to have sex with me just as often as I want to have sex with her.  About 5 times in a normal day.

Nude models for online porn magazines that are highly popular with young men. Camgirls, that I happen to meet and then find out that they are sex workers. Strippers that I met when I go to strip-clubs. Women who are party girls, and on occasion I've dated ''relationship'' material women, but I grew bored with it all, no matter how pretty they were.

No, I've never been married. I belong to an American upper-middle class family. If I was to get married, she'd be entitled to at least 50% of everything, probably more, and my parents didn't spend an entire lifetime amassing wealth just for me to lose it in a divorce.

I'd MAYBE consider marriage to an European woman, from Italy or Spain,  because the divorce laws are probably more soft over there,  but honestly I've only come across a few women who are open to opening the relationship to incorporate other women into our sex play, and having a wife or long-term relationship as my only source of sex would be like shooting myself on the foot.

I'd probably end up like all of the married men in Europe who fill up the brothels to the brim 🤣

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Wait, what? Are you saying that the only thing that motivates you to be a good partner is fear of the competition? 

 

Yes.  I was lucky enough to have my parents bankroll my lifestyle in Europe.  So I moved to Europe when I was 18, from California. As you know, there's lots of attractive women in California, even if they are bottle-blondes and their chest was built by an expert plastic surgery, and you have to compete with other men for women.

But the gods from above and below blessed me, and had me land in a land where the average woman going to college was classicaly attractive, and the competition wasn't there, so I just had to lay back and wait for attractive women to approach me, hit me, ask me out, pay for the date, initiate the first kiss, sex, etc.

I grew used to this.  And since there are far more attractive women who are single than there are men, and most of the women lower their standards in men because they really want a boyfriend  - I don't care if I date Susan or Julie, because you can replace one with the other and she's still as pretty, and the sex is just as good.

But I'm a sucker for really beautiful women, and those women I stay away from because they're way too much trouble.

It's about like this.

Let's say a persons' physical attractiveness can be measured in a 0 to 10 scale.

7/10s I don't have to put much effort into getting into a relationship or to keep them. But an 8/10 I have to attend birthday parties, take her out on dates, meet her parents, hang out with her friends, listen to her talk abou her problems.

a 9/10 I just pretty much ignore even when I've had chances to date them, because these women date Calvin Klein models and I'm pretty average-looking for a fashion model.

10/10 I can't even meet because these are the women who hook-up with Saudi Princes and multi-millionaire soccer stars even when I'm a lot more physically attractive than them.

I can't compete with that, and that's what I'm bitter about, to be honest. It is what it is, but I still get sad that the lack of millions in my bank account is what keeps me from having the lifestyle of 50 year old Leonardo Dicaprio.

I'm a shallow, superficial, immature man-child?

Very much so.

My self-awareness in knowing that I'm a douchebag is what makes me charming.

I guess that when you look like you're in your late teens, despite being in your 30s, you never have much of a reason to grow up.

Edited April 1, 2020 by Azincourt

[Cookiesandough]

I think I’m starting to see that as more women advance their careers to the same point men do old age and status becomes less important /attractive and women are dating younger men ? That’s just something I’m noticing and just in general... 

Edited April 1, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[simpycurious]

Azin, the older women that I see dating the younger men are, in most cases, well off financially and very attractive especially for their age. The group of guys are elite in their respective areas, well off, very put together, fit etc.  From what I can gather, it's the allure of the older woman, her confidence, and mysterious appeal.  As far as the women are concerned, I am not certain what the whole appeal entails exactly.  

[Azincourt]

Yo,  women aren't sexually attracted to social status in men.

Women marry rich men because they want the lifestyle a rich man can afford them. They  also want the security of knowing they won't end up homeless. They know their children won't starve, although there are lots of rich men who run away from paying child-support. One of Europe's richest men got a Brazilian woman pregnant, he tried to run away from a paternity test issued by the judge, it was confirmed the kid belonged to him, and he still refuses to pay ANYTHING.

Social status doesn't make a woman aroused. Why the heck would Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Shania Twain and many other ultra rich women star in video clips with extremely attractive men who are half their age, even more than that?

When a woman's looking for a fun fling, she cares a LOT more about the man's physical attractiveness,  and if not that, then his sense of humor, charm,  playfulness, charm, romantic nature.

When she decides she wants a serious relationship, leading to marriage, probably, she cares a lot more about personality characteristics like, is he dependable? Is he loyal? is he a hard worker? does he like children? is he good with them? is he interested in having and PAYING for them?

is he the type to not stray just because a pretty woman wants to sleep with him?

That's why my love life was always and will always be a disaster.

The young women who hook-up with me do so because maybe I said something funny at the right time, or maybe because they like esmerald eyes. But they'll dump and move on easy enough, or they'll go back to the boyfriend they never told me about.

Women my age and older don't take me seriously because although I'm an eligible bachelor by every woman and her grandma's standards...

well, I'm too much in love with money and with a Peter Pan lifestyle to ever be a good father. Good genes? MAYBE.

A good man to raise a child with?

I am certainly not.

I'm a terrible boyfriend and I'd be an awful husband to any woman who'd have the bad luck to get married to me.

 

Edited April 1, 2020 by Azincourt

[Cookiesandough]

Nope. Women are definitely attracted to social status ... 

[simpycurious]

Azin, you keep bringing up Madonna...LOL.  Go to the Song in Your Heart section on the site and watch the video I posted .  Of course, I knew who she was before watching the movie and hearing the music but I did not know much about her. I would guess she would be "pretty good" with men of various ages.  Just A Guess.  

 

I do agree with Cookie that women are indeed attracted to social status which normally involves money.  Let's face it both help but if both (man and woman) have it then what else becomes the main factors.  

 

Edited April 1, 2020 by simpycurious

[Cookiesandough]

I’ve seen my friends and myself  attracted to pretty average looking guys just because they were popular. These guys had women all over them. But why are they popular/high social status ? Because they have fun/“cool” personalities? People like to be around them? Or for guys that are they successful is it  because they are intelligent or have talents ?Its a bit of a chicken or egg thing! 

Edited April 1, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[simpycurious]

You really are right Cookie. You are so impressive, I truly mean it.  These are probably age old questions with NO single answer that applies to every situation/relationship. 

[Cookiesandough]

You are the exceptional one that you realize that. You are a heavenly blessed beauty on the inside and out. 

 

 

Another example and I think he’s gross, , but how many girls would drop their panties for post Malone? You can find a post Malone working the kitchen at any Denny’s  but I guarantee you those guys can barely get laid. Don’t tell me women don’t care about social status. 

Edited April 1, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

11 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

You really are right Cookie. You are so impressive, I truly mean it.  These are probably age old questions with NO single answer that applies to every situation/relationship. 

My last crush had lots of friends simply because he was so smart and had an awesome sense of humor. That guy could talk about anything and make it interesting. He was a really cool dude 🥰

Edited April 1, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[simpycurious]

Just now, Cookiesandough said:

My last crush had lots of friends simply because he was so smart and had a razor sharp wit. That guy could talk about anything and  drop a one liner like it was nothing . He was a really cool dude 🥰

You are elite Ms Cookie....that is without question.  Having a personality is never a bad thing.  Being able to expand on any and all subjects is a gift and being COOL is priceless.  And you are COOL Cookie.  Very Cool.

[simpycurious]

16 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

You are the exceptional one that you realize that. You are a heavenly blessed beauty on the inside and out. 

 

 

Another example and I think he’s gross, , but how many girls would drop their panties for post Malone? You can find a post Malone working the kitchen at any Denny’s  but I guarantee you those guys can barely get laid. Don’t tell me women don’t care about social status. 

The first sentence describes YOURSELF perfectly so take note PLEASE.

LOL....I am down with Post's music but I am not going that tattoo route I don't care if it's "swaggy" or not 

[Cookiesandough]

1 minute ago, simpycurious said:

The first sentence describes YOURSELF perfectly so take note PLEASE.

LOL....I am down with Post's music but I am not going that tattoo route I don't care if it's "swaggy" or not 

You need a face tattoo with “simpy curious” under your eyes lol 

 

A cool personality makes anyone attractive at any age! 

[simpycurious]

Although, I take the majority of advice to heart I am gonna slide on the face tat..LOL

The personality thing works both ways for sure....lots of attractive people who are NOT FUN

 

[greymatter]

1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said:

What’s the difference between dating a younger guy vs older guy (if any)?

In my age range especially there is a big difference! Older guys, in my experience, have had some issues physically that guys younger than me don’t have, including my BF (you know what I mean). Aside from that, given that I’m in great physical health and so is he, and we both focus on fitness, we should be in a good place together physically for much longer than if I were with an older man. Men often have a shorter life span than women and being a caretaker to an older man is not my wish. Not that I won’t care for my partner if he ever needs it. Truly though, I have never looked specifically for younger guys and my age range was 5+ years in either direction when I was online dating.

[Juha]

AZincourt man you are the most entertaining poster on here.

Reading your posts, especially the rating 0-10 ones I feel like I am 

watching the movie "She's Out of Your League" and Stainer is talking

You  make me laugh every time, love it man!  Do not change

 

I am not disagreeing with some of the things you post either, do not agree with all either...

[Azincourt]

31 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

You are the exceptional one that you realize that. You are a heavenly blessed beauty on the inside and out. 

 

 

Another example and I think he’s gross, , but how many girls would drop their panties for post Malone? You can find a post Malone working the kitchen at any Denny’s  but I guarantee you those guys can barely get laid. Don’t tell me women don’t care about social status. 

 

It's not the social status. It's the money. if tomorrow I was to win the euromillions,  to see my bank accounts go up by the hundreds of millions, I would be able to get playboy models, but they wouldn't be attracted to me.  It's the lifestyle that would motivate the playboy bunny to sleep with me, because that's how she'd get access to the money.

Even if I worked say, as a waiter and women knew that, but also knew the state of my (enriched) bank accounts.