What is she Implying (PART 2)

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, whatdoido123 said:

But of course its a friday night, so i am pretty sure she is going to his NEW bf house to spend the night and have sex again........i am hurt again

So, stop doing things you know are going to hurt you, like watching old sex tapes or reading her private messages. 

You can't exactly complain about how hurt you are when you keep shooting yourself in the foot like this. 

[whatdoido123]

I try not to, but its hard. I never complimented her much when we were together. Now i think shes super hot and beautiful, but its too late......

FML

anyways shes coming over today, but i am not sure if she is spending the night or just dropping our daughter off with me. I will know later when she gets here. 

Honestly i don't know how to feel right now, since i haven't seen her phone since last sunday, i am not sure what they been up to this last 6 days. 

I want to know, but at the same time if i look, i am going to hurt myself even more...

Sometimes i wonder why i am such an idiot, like i want to move on, but i can't because deep down i know shes the mother to my child, and i want nothing but goodness to come out of it

[ExpatInItaly]

11 minutes ago, whatdoido123 said:

Honestly i don't know how to feel right now, since i haven't seen her phone since last sunday, i am not sure what they been up to this last 6 days. 

Do you understand that's none of your business either, though?

[whatdoido123]

53 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Do you understand that's none of your business either, though?

Yes i understand, but its hard not to

Like i can't control myself. 

I texted her an hour ago asking her what time she will be here

her response "same time as always"

Nothing else, i was trying to get a conversation started, but she avoided it

[ExpatInItaly]

24 minutes ago, whatdoido123 said:

Yes i understand, but its hard not to

Like i can't control myself. 

You can control yourself. You don't want to. There's a difference. 

[whatdoido123]

She just texted me this:

 

"on my way to your place. (Daughter name) needs lunch and i'll put her nap at your house and then i'll leave and come back tomorrow morning"

I said "oh"

then she say ok?

I said "no problem"

 

f*** MAN  I AM SO ANGRY AND HURT

[ExpatInItaly]

Why exactly are you so angry? 

Had she previously told you she was spending with you?

[whatdoido123]

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Why exactly are you so angry? 

Had she previously told you she was spending with you?

 

because i wish and hope they don't work out. Obviously if she spends the night at my house, that means they are having issues and i have a CHANCE to get her back

[whatdoido123]

So she just left.....

she took a shower again (i looked at her message I AM SO STUPID) just reading those flirting messages really hurt me again. Like honestly i need help. She showered, put on makeup, did her hair, dress super sluty, Why am i going through all this again????

She leaves the door open, lets me grab her however, she don't f***ing give a f***

Before she left for the day, i gave her a hug. And she hugged me back. That means alot, but why am i being a moron.

This will NEVER end until i find a gf or fix myself somehow. I don't even want to live now

she will be back tomorrow morning, and i am pretty sure shes gonna shower right away.....

Can someone use a gun and shoot me in the head please, i beg you.....

[preraph]

Why are you hugging her if you're this mad at her?  

[Yosemite]

Why does she shower at your place? Does she not have plumbing at her place? Are you in the US?

Why is all of her bathroom/getting ready stuff at your house? She brought all of the stuff that she would need to get ready for a night out to your place and then packed it all up and drove back to her place so that she can meet her bf? Why? 

[whatdoido123]

4 minutes ago, preraph said:

Why are you hugging her if you're this mad at her?  

cuz i miss her and i want her back badly

 

3 minutes ago, Yosemite said:

Why does she shower at your place? Does she not have plumbing at her place? Are you in the US?

Why is all of her bathroom/getting ready stuff at your house? She brought all of the stuff that she would need to get ready for a night out to your place and then packed it all up and drove back to her place so that she can meet her bf? Why? 

 

She showers at my place because shes going to her bf house, and she needs to smell good and impress obvious

She lives with her mom, but gets ready at my house after she drops off our daughter at MY house. She gets ready, and everything and yes US, specially in Arizona

She brings her makeup bag, and her clothes that she needs to wear over here and brings it back to her mom house on sunday when they leave around 7 pm. Back then maybe few months ago, she would let me wash her clothes but not anymore. 

Our daughter takes a nap around 1pm, thats when she gets ready and bounce before our daughter wakes up because shes super attached to mommy. My EX gf leaves and comes back the next morning around 11am. Basically i am the baby sitter so she can mingle with him and have sex. Thats all they really do now since we can't go out because of the virus. 

 

So now i am sitting her on my computer waiting for my daughter to wake up from her nap, and at the same time thinking what my ex gf is doing with him right now..... THIS FEELING SUCKS!!!!!

[Yosemite]

3 minutes ago, whatdoido123 said:

She showers at my place because shes going to her bf house, and she needs to smell good and impress obvious

She lives with her mom, but gets ready at my house after she drops off our daughter at MY house. She gets ready, and everything and yes US, specially in Arizona

She brings her makeup bag, and her clothes that she needs to wear over here and brings it back to her mom house on sunday when they leave around 7 pm.

Strange.

Seems logical to leave once your daughter falls asleep and get ready at her own place.

Is she keeping her bf a secret from her mother?

Does her mother know that you stole from her?

[preraph]

You're just ridiculous for enabling her this way, letting her shower at your place, pretending you're not seething mad at her.  You are doing this to yourself.  She thinks you're fine with all this because you don't have the backbone to stop participating in it.  You are just laying down and begging for her to wipe her feet on you, and that makes it very hard for people to have sympathy for you.  Because you could just stop that and not let her even IN your place and not pretend you're not furious with her.  I think you'd respect yourself better.  

[ExpatInItaly]

Stop letting her do this, OP. 

Dropping off your daughter so she can stay with you and spend time with you, her dad, of course. But staying to shower and get ready to see her boyfriend? No. That is ludicrous. 

[whatdoido123]

15 minutes ago, Yosemite said:

Strange.

Seems logical to leave once your daughter falls asleep and get ready at her own place.

Is she keeping her bf a secret from her mother?

Does her mother know that you stole from her?

You mean her mom place, but it doesn't make sense to drive back up north. Her mom house (where she lives) is about 40 miles from MY house.

From the text messages i am 100% certain her current bf lives half way between my house and her house, so she wouldn't want to make that drive

And yes, secret, she keeps denying that she has a BF. She tells me she is going back home to relax LOL

I confront her, but she gets even more defensive, and hates me more

And yes her mother knows i stole money from her, This was in the beginning of our relationship probably in 2013 if i remember correctly, so a long time ago. But she brings it up often when we got in arguments

14 minutes ago, preraph said:

You're just ridiculous for enabling her this way, letting her shower at your place, pretending you're not seething mad at her.  You are doing this to yourself.  She thinks you're fine with all this because you don't have the backbone to stop participating in it.  You are just laying down and begging for her to wipe her feet on you, and that makes it very hard for people to have sympathy for you.  Because you could just stop that and not let her even IN your place and not pretend you're not furious with her.  I think you'd respect yourself better.  

I DON"T want to enable it, but what can i freaking do????? She takes care of our daughter most of the time with her mom. I only come over for 2-3 hour on the weekday to spend time with her. Other than that its just the weekend on saturday night. I don't know what else i can do. We got in arguments about it already, i even said i know u have bf blah blah blah, and she saids its  NONE OF  MY BUSINESS, and u guys told me its TRUE, it really is not my business if we aint together. 

Come on OP, i had this same issue 5 years ago before we had our baby. i had a full forum about it if you guys wanna read about it in my profile, but yeah just reading the text messages from last week, it seems like she likes him alot BECAUSE he listens to everything she says. I know this is just the honeymoon stages, but i really hope they break up soon or NOT have a baby because it seems like she wants to get off birth control cuz the medication is giving her anxiety (PER THE TEXT MESSAGES SHE WROTE TO HIM)

13 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Stop letting her do this, OP. 

Dropping off your daughter so she can stay with you and spend time with you, her dad, of course. But staying to shower and get ready to see her boyfriend? No. That is ludicrous. 

So your saying to drop off the daugther and kick her out? She is the freakin mommy to our child together. I can't do that right? And i always told her that she is welcome to my house, i gave her the keys to my house and i don't plan on taking it back anytime soon

And yes she stays to shower and get ready so at 1 pm when our daughter falls asleep she can bounce and go stright to his house and have sex and come back the next morning to shower at my house because shes afraid to shower at his place still......

If you were in my shoe, WTF should i do?

[preraph]

I'd tell her, We're not together anymore, and give me my key back (how ridiculous!!) and drop the baby off at the door because I don't need this.

[preraph]

Yeah, you don't have any right to ask her about her bf or be snooping on her phone since you're broken up.  You need to get your visitation times in order and confine contact to exchanging the child.  It's none of your business anymore if she has a bf because you've been broken up, so of course she is going to be dating.  She has no reason to need a key to your place either and can figure out her own problems with needing to shower.  She can certainly do it at her mom's house.  But it's not your problem.  

[JacobJ29]

She knows she can play you like a fiddle. She has no interest, and you're letting her take advantage.

You are still going looking for things though, which is pretty dumb. But I'd say she is using you because you are enabling it.

She can drop your daughter off and go shower somewhere else. She can go get ready somewhere else.

Shock her one day and tell her no, I'm not your rest room.

Man up and stop letting her play you. She knows you want her, she knows she doesn't, so she's in the position of power. Swing it and move on and make her think.

[Minneloa]

OP, 

With all due respect, where is your spine? Where is your dignity? Where is your self-respect?

You can only control yourself, not her. She has moved on. What will it take for you to accept this?

What is the worst case scenario if you set some firm boundaries? I think you might be surprised by how it feels to take back your power.

M.

[whatdoido123]

48 minutes ago, preraph said:

I'd tell her, We're not together anymore, and give me my key back (how ridiculous!!) and drop the baby off at the door because I don't need this.

 

But that is literally the baby mama to my kid. I guess i am trying to show her some respect?

 

31 minutes ago, preraph said:

Yeah, you don't have any right to ask her about her bf or be snooping on her phone since you're broken up.  You need to get your visitation times in order and confine contact to exchanging the child.  It's none of your business anymore if she has a bf because you've been broken up, so of course she is going to be dating.  She has no reason to need a key to your place either and can figure out her own problems with needing to shower.  She can certainly do it at her mom's house.  But it's not your problem.  

 

She doesn't know i am snooping on her phone while she takes a 10-15 minutes shower. Actually we got our visitation time set as of last week because i brought up this bf confirmation that she keeps denying. Either way its setup for 1 weekday from 4pm - 6 pm and then Saturday and Sunday basically all day.

I haven't asked for them back, and i told her that my house is her house. I don't know how she would react though if i acted another way though

 

9 minutes ago, JacobJ29 said:

She knows she can play you like a fiddle. She has no interest, and you're letting her take advantage.

You are still going looking for things though, which is pretty dumb. But I'd say she is using you because you are enabling it.

She can drop your daughter off and go shower somewhere else. She can go get ready somewhere else.

Shock her one day and tell her no, I'm not your rest room.

Man up and stop letting her play you. She knows you want her, she knows she doesn't, so she's in the position of power. Swing it and move on and make her think.

OP, U are exactly pinpoint Correct! 

My feeling towards this is just like you, but i just don't know how else to play it

And the thing is, if i said that, then she would be even more distance with me.

She bought me cake for my birthday and said happy birthday! Not sure if that means anything

At the end of the day i just don't want to lose her if i play it tough

I am such a little bitch!

 

4 minutes ago, Minneloa said:

OP, 

With all due respect, where is your spine? Where is your dignity? Where is your self-respect?

You can only control yourself, not her. She has moved on. What will it take for you to accept this?

What is the worst case scenario if you set some firm boundaries? I think you might be surprised by how it feels to take back your power.

M.

 

You need to slap me upside the head. It feels like a dream still

I don't have self respect, i act like a little bitch

And you are right she is controlling me, cuz if i said something else, she goes on a tandrum on me and that would upset her more.

Firm boundaires? Explain please

[preraph]

Or she might be relieved. 

[whatdoido123]

Relieved of what?

[Yosemite]

2 hours ago, whatdoido123 said:

And yes, secret, she keeps denying that she has a BF. She tells me she is going back home to relax LOL

I confront her, but she gets even more defensive, and hates me more

I asked if she’s keeping her bf a secret from her mother, not you. Does her mother know that she has a bf?

Still doesn’t make sense to me that she wouldn’t shower at her mother’s place before she makes the drive. Why don’t you ever drive to her place and pick up your daughter? 

 

[whatdoido123]

42 minutes ago, Yosemite said:

I asked if she’s keeping her bf a secret from her mother, not you. Does her mother know that she has a bf?

Still doesn’t make sense to me that she wouldn’t shower at her mother’s place before she makes the drive. Why don’t you ever drive to her place and pick up your daughter? 

 

Honestly I am not sure still, I can’t really tell by her message with her current bf. In my opinion I think her mom knows she dating or seeing someone because she spends the night at her current bf house on Friday night and goes back to her mom house around 9 am to pick up the baby and drive to my house to drop her off.

 

She doesn’t have time and want to make it weird to shower at her mom house. Especially if they had sex, she never showers in the morning so why would she jump in the shower after coming back to pick up our daughter. It’s weird, and I know where she is coming from.

 

And we got in biggest argument last week. I told her I can drive the 40 miles to pick up my daughter. She said no and her excuse is she doesn’t trust my driving.