Lockdown and a fledgling relationship....

[dramallama]

I think more and more of us are in countries with lockdown ongoing right now. I've been 'seeing' my guy for over 7 months now, though I was quarantined with Covid-19 for 2 weeks and as soon as I was better we went into lockdown, so we've not seen each other for just over 3 weeks now, and it's rubbish as we're likely to be in lockdown until June.

He's being incredibly sweet, we've had some really deep chats, more voice notes, calls etc; and I sent him a surprise through the post; he keeps saying he's 'waiting for me'; but it's an especially weird time for a fledgling relationship to go properly long distance when the world is partly on pause. It's also a little odd as I'm working all hours (I'm in Health IT), and he isn't; so our usual daily routines are out of kilter and we're not always awake at the same times so a lot of conversation is by text / audio message.  

Anyone in the same boat, and with any tips beyond what we're already doing?

[FMW]

I've been "seeing" a guy for almost 3 months, we were hanging out for 5 months before that, just being flirty and building a friendship.  We're following the Stay at Home order in our City and haven't seen each other since it went into effect two weeks ago.  We've been staying in touch by text and phone, but knowing that we likely won't see each other for the next two months I think for us is probably going to effectively put us back to the flirty friend stage where we were for the several months before pursuing something more.

Our situation was different in that his wife died about 17 months ago, so we were taking things slower than most.  We had built up to seeing each other two or three times a week, and all the people acquainted with us saw us as a couple.  But I don't think we had a strong enough romantic bond yet to grow our romantic relationship during this time apart.  We definitely have a caring friendship bond, but I think this separation is going to set us back romantically, or at best just put the romance on hold.  He's a full-time musician and unable to gig or tour for now.  He's spending all his time working on clearing out and getting one of his houses ready to sell while making improvements to and continuing to move into his other house.  That's keeping him fully occupied right now.  I'm fortunate to be able to continue doing my work from home so at least my days are busy. 

Unfortunately for us, as I said, I think this will be a step back as far as the romantic connection goes.  It's at least as much about where MY head is as where his is.  Honestly I doubt he's given it a lot of thought and I'm not interested in getting into a discussion with him about it right now.  Time will tell.  

But since the two of you have been romantically involved for the entire 7+ months, you probably have a stronger romantic bond and are actively working on not only holding it together but making it even stronger.  I think regular communication is key, so make that a priority.  Do the things you are able to do that make you happy on your own, don't make calls and texts, etc with him be the only thing you enjoy and look forward to.  That will keep you in the healthy mindset needed to keep your connection with him strong.      

[dramallama]

Oh blimey, so things have moved fast since I wrote that, he's relocating to my house this weekend - trial by fire but my house is big enough that we can have space from each other! 

[FMW]

So staying in touch won't be a problem 🙂

I hope things go well!

[dramallama]

Thank you, me too!! Nothing like a global crisis to sharpen the mind about what's important to you, eh? 😄 

[Kballer]

Congratulations on recent events! I hope that you both find this time extremely rewarding, and enjoy each others company during this trying time!

I'm jealous! 🙂

 

[Interstellar]

Ahh...young love.

Edited April 4, 2020 by Interstellar

[smackie9]

You are not lost at sea for 2 years....it's only going to be for a few months more most likely. Usually these things end when the heat of the summer hits. The key to survival is to keep positive.

Edited April 4, 2020 by smackie9

[Trail Blazer]

5 hours ago, smackie9 said:

You are not lost at sea for 2 years....it's only going to be for a few months more most likely. Usually these things end when the heat of the summer hits. The key to survival is to keep positive.

You do know that this is a global pandemic, right?  There's a whole other hemisphere below us that is about to feel the chill of winter.  I can't see this blowing over any time soon, unfortunately.
 

 

 

[Trail Blazer]

On 4/3/2020 at 11:28 PM, dramallama said:

Oh blimey, so things have moved fast since I wrote that, he's relocating to my house this weekend - trial by fire but my house is big enough that we can have space from each other! 

All the best, I hope it all works out.  I'm in a tough predicament with my girlfriend and we're in constant dialog with regards to what we will do.

It's great that you have a house big enough to give yourselves thr requisite space you'll undoubtedly need.  You're getting a true glimpse into the future.  Thanks, Covid! 

[simpycurious]

5 hours ago, smackie9 said:

You are not lost at sea for 2 years....it's only going to be for a few months more most likely. Usually these things end when the heat of the summer hits. The key to survival is to keep positive.

Smackie is right...this is not going to LAST forever.  Take this time to get to know one another on a deeply personal level.  Sometimes you can learn more about someone by just opening up and TALKING. Stop looking at the things you cannot do and focus on what you can do.  Too many tend to dwell on the negative instead of finding something good in a situation.  

Trail Blazer having a really big house is not necessarily all it's cracked up to be..........

[smackie9]

14 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

You do know that this is a global pandemic, right?  There's a whole other hemisphere below us that is about to feel the chill of winter.  I can't see this blowing over any time soon, unfortunately.
 

 

 

Have you ever seen a large amount of the flu or bad colds going around in the summer? no. It does taper off. You are right it could continue we don't know that. The only reason the Spanish flu lasted almost 2 years was because people were not knowledgeable and didn't have a modern information network like we have today. We are at a greater advantage to beat this thing AND having a negative attitude can make you unhealthy mentally and physically. If this epidemic does go into next year so be it. If I were you I would prefer to be productive and alive, rather than focus on finding a date. I have done it myself. I took a break from dating for about year and a half and it didn't kill me to do it.

Edited April 5, 2020 by smackie9

[Fletch Lives]

I hate to bring this up, but I'm in the sub-tropics and we have our fair share of cases here. It hit 90 degrees here last week and will do so again in 48 hours. It's warm here......and it does not look like heat stops it.

[Gaeta]

On 4/3/2020 at 8:58 AM, dramallama said:

Oh blimey, so things have moved fast since I wrote that, he's relocating to my house this weekend - trial by fire but my house is big enough that we can have space from each other! 

How can he relocate to your house if you live in different countries? Where I am only food and medical staff can drive through the borders. 

[d0nnivain]

On 4/3/2020 at 8:58 AM, dramallama said:

Oh blimey, so things have moved fast since I wrote that, he's relocating to my house this weekend - trial by fire but my house is big enough that we can have space from each other! 

Oh good heavens.  What a bad idea.  After only knowing each other for 7 months you are now going to be living together under the worse of circumstances.  You already had this virus but you have long & unstructured hours.  He's going to be in your home -- as a guest, walking on egg shells, away from his support system but you aren't going to have the time, the energy or the emotional bandwidth to ease him into comfort.  He's going to need more from you then you will be able to give while you try to do your job -- health IT.  

I fear your relationship will be another casualty of this pandemic.  I hope I'm wrong & wish you the best but  I don't see this ending well.  

[preraph]

16 hours ago, simpycurious said:

Trail Blazer having a really big house is not necessarily all it's cracked up to be..........

Especially if one person follows the other person around like a puppy dog all day.  

[Trail Blazer]

9 hours ago, smackie9 said:

Have you ever seen a large amount of the flu or bad colds going around in the summer? no. It does taper off. You are right it could continue we don't know that. The only reason the Spanish flu lasted almost 2 years was because people were not knowledgeable and didn't have a modern information network like we have today. We are at a greater advantage to beat this thing AND having a negative attitude can make you unhealthy mentally and physically. If this epidemic does go into next year so be it. If I were you I would prefer to be productive and alive, rather than focus on finding a date. I have done it myself. I took a break from dating for about year and a half and it didn't kill me to do it.

We are a global community.  The southern hemisphere is about to go through winter.  Australia, South Africa, South America... do we close our borders once this virus' status as pandemic is removed?

I do not believe that this will blow over any time soon.  This virus has mutated a number of times.  When we relax social distancing, I believe it will come back with a vengence.  Until we develop and administer a vaccine among the general populace, this will not subside.

I'm not sure who you're addressing with regards to focus on finding a date, but I'm not in that boat, pal.  I've been seeing a lovely young lady for the past five months and we're going very well.