Ghosted

[poppyfields]

5 minutes ago, X1 anti said:

She never said anything about rescheduling. I forgot to mention that when we were seeing each other on our third date she no call no showed on me then called me 6 days later with an excuse of “my phone got wet at the beach”. I even had a mutual friend warn me about her just before our third date. I couldn’t forgive her so that’s why I turned her down. Wouldn’t you do the same? After a few months of dating I decided to reach out to try and rekindle things and that’s when all of this happened. I had 0 trust in this woman but decided to give it a try. Can you blame me for having my guard up? She never mentioned anything about rescheduling after she cancelled on me. She had a picture of them (as a couple on her IG) and he was tagged. I checked his social media and he had just posted a different pic of them together. How can you expect me to believe her “im sick story”I wasn’t a dick about it. I was polite. She obviously wanted this guy and was trying to keep me on hold and I walked away. I did nothing wrong here. Who’s Corey Wayne?

Okay then move on, you're right she's not interested, she played you, what's the problem again?

Just move on mate, lesson learned. 

[X1 anti]

5 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Does that actually work, I cannot imagine how it would.

Unless a woman has such little self esteem, she believes she doesn't deserve a guy who's actually into her and who will put forth the effort to indicate that interest. 

If that is the type of woman a man wants, then yeah have it with CW's advice. 

Not for me and most women who have even a modicum of self respect and self esteem. 

Trust me. I showed her interest when we were dating. I took her out on a picnic on our third date. I brought cheese, wine, music and playing cards so we can play a card game she told me about on our first date. We kissed and watched the sunset and hiked back to our cars with flashlights.   She texts me the following morning, I responded and wanted to schedule another date. She calls me 4 days later and we schedule a fourth date at my place. Boom no call no show. I went out and bought ingredients for us to make dinner together. s***ty thing to do, oh well. 

[X1 anti]

7 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Okay then move on, you're right she's not interested, she played you, what's the problem again?

Just move on mate, lesson learned. 

Lesson learn 👍 it’s just everyone’s on my case as if I did something wrong here

[poppyfields]

14 minutes ago, X1 anti said:

Trust me. I showed her interest when we were dating. I took her out on a picnic on our third date. I brought cheese, wine, music and playing cards so we can play a card game she told me about on our first date. We kissed and watched the sunset and hiked back to our cars with flashlights.   She texts me the following morning, I responded and wanted to schedule another date. She calls me 4 days later and we schedule a fourth date at my place. Boom no call no show. I went out and bought ingredients for us to make dinner together. s***ty thing to do, oh well. 

Well, if she were truly into you X1, trust me she wouldn't have done that.

See that's the thing, a man indicating interest and making effort ONLY works when a woman is into you.

So apologies, I was wrong, you didn't blow it by not calling when she asked you to.

The mistake you made and the lesson to be learned is that when a woman treats you in such a shabby manner, blows off dates and then cuts things off like she did last summer, you don't reach out to her again wanting to see her like you did in February.

You block her, delete her and move on.

Edited April 3, 2020 by poppyfields

[Erik30]

14 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Does that actually work, I cannot imagine how it would.

Unless a woman has such little self esteem, she believes she doesn't deserve a guy who's actually into her and who will put forth the effort to indicate that interest. 

If that is the type of woman a man wants, then yeah have it with CW's advice. 

Not for me and most women who have even a modicum of self respect and self esteem. 

Supposedly, it makes a guy stand out. Like all the other men are chasing, but not this guy. And that makes a woman wonder why (CW's theory)

It's also supposed to give you the impression that a guy has such a busy and interesting life, he simply has no time to text you 

[X1 anti]

8 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Well, if she were truly into you X1, trust me she wouldn't have done that.

See that's the thing, a man indicating interest and making effort ONLY works when a woman is into you.

So apologies, I was wrong, you didn't blow it by not calling when she asked you to.

The mistake you made and the lesson to be learned is that when a woman treats you in such a shabby manner, blows off dates and then cuts things off like she did last summer, you don't reach out to her again wanting to see her like you did in February.

You block her, delete her and move on.

Yeah after she blew me off, she left me a long voicemail then continued to reach out    So I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Big mistake. 🤷‍♂️

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, Erik30 said:

It's also supposed to give you the impression that a guy has such a busy and interesting life, he simply has no time to text you .

Yeah,  a man having no time for me always increases my interest, lol.

I think maybe when I was late teens, very early 20's I was intrigued by this behaviour, but once I reached 25, not so much.

What increases my interest is a man who will indicate his interest, not too much, not too little.  And I do my part to indicate interest as well.

It's a bit of a balancing act, and not for the overly sensitive or faint of heart.

But a man who requires ME to chase him?  To do most or all the calling/initiating?

No thank you.  

 

[Juha]

 

Actually you are half right about what Corey Wayne suggests/preaches when dating.

When you first start dating the man does all the initiating, contacting initiating dates.  After a few weeks if the woman is into you she will start contacting you more and 

when she does then you should ask and make dates.  At that point the man should relax or slow down his initiating for dates.

 

Mind you this does work, if the woman is very interested in the man.  

Also it is to help guys who over contact women when they really like them, it keeps them from messing things up and

seem stalker like and creepy.  We just had a thread from a woman who said she was turned off because the guy contacted too much.

If he followed this advice she would not have thought that and he might still be dating her

 

I have read lots of dating "coaches"  lol   

 

I do not think any or all are good nor bad.  You can always learn something.

 

No I do not follow any "dating" coaches advice in lock step....

I agree a lot of it is ridiculous also...

 

Edited April 3, 2020 by Juha

[poppyfields]

5 minutes ago, Juha said:

 

Actually you are half right about what Corey Wayne suggests/preaches when dating.

When you first start dating the man does all the initiating, contacting initiating dates.  After a few weeks if the woman is into you she will start contacting you more and 

when she does then you should ask and make dates.  At that point the man should relax or slow down his initiating for dates.

 

Mind you this does work, if the woman is very interested in the man.  

Also it is to help guys who over contact women when they really like them, it keeps them from messing things up and

seem stalker like and creepy.  We just had a thread from a woman who said she was turned off because the guy contacted too much.

If he followed this advice she would not have thought that and he might still be dating her

 

I have read lots of dating "coaches"  lol   

 

I do not think any or all are good nor bad.  You can always learn something.

 

Fair enough, it's never worked for me, even when extremely interested, but if some women are into chasing, far be it for me to judge.

I have to wonder how the men feel though, reading these forums, when women do much of the chasing, men end up becoming turned off.

I agree with you about the poster who was turned off because the guy contacted too much.

Like I said, there should be a balance.

Too much can be a turn off, too little can be a turn off.

Smart and experienced men have learned how to balance, and thus are quite attractive to women and will be very successful in their dating experiences.

Edited April 3, 2020 by poppyfields

[Cookiesandough]

43 minutes ago, X1 anti said:

Trust me. I showed her interest when we were dating. I took her out on a picnic on our third date. I brought cheese, wine, music and playing cards so we can play a card game she told me about on our first date. We kissed and watched the sunset and hiked back to our cars with flashlights.   She texts me the following morning, I responded and wanted to schedule another date. She calls me 4 days later and we schedule a fourth date at my place. Boom no call no show. I went out and bought ingredients for us to make dinner together. s***ty thing to do, oh well. 

That sounds so romantic 🥰 yea whatever with her 

Edited April 3, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

1 hour ago, X1 anti said:

She never said anything about rescheduling. I forgot to mention that when we were seeing each other on our third date she no call no showed on me then called me 6 days later with an excuse of “my phone got wet at the beach”. I even had a mutual friend warn me about her just before our third date. I couldn’t forgive her so that’s why I turned her down. Wouldn’t you do the same? After a few months of dating I decided to reach out to try and rekindle things and that’s when all of this happened. I had 0 trust in this woman but decided to give it a try. Can you blame me for having my guard up? She never mentioned anything about rescheduling after she cancelled on me. She had a picture of them (as a couple on her IG) and he was tagged. I checked his social media and he had just posted a different pic of them together. How can you expect me to believe her “im sick story”I wasn’t a dick about it. I was polite. She obviously wanted this guy and was trying to keep me on hold and I walked away. I did nothing wrong here. Who’s Corey Wayne?

With these details, yes I would do the same. No I don’t think you at all overreacted. I think your only mistake was then giving her another chance. Should of left her in the dust, lesson learned 

[rjc149]

3 hours ago, poppyfields said:

What increases my interest is a man who will indicate his interest, not too much, not too little.  And I do my part to indicate interest as well.

It's a bit of a balancing act, and not for the overly sensitive or faint of heart.

This.^

I've listened to a fair amount of Corey Wayne, OP. The "bring a bottle of wine to my place" and the "bring those beautiful lips over here and kiss me" are Corey Wayne, literally word for word verbatim. Come on bro. I'm not buying it. You know. 

From what I've read, this girl wasn't all that interested. Cancelling dates with lame excuses, pulling back after making out and abruptly leaving, blowing you off, then showing up on social media with another dude, etc.

But, it sounds like you were also a "cold fish" with this girl, playing too cool and indifferent and pushing her away (ie. she was sick and asked to call you, but you were too busy and told her to get back to when she was feeling better, and you didn't call her when she asked you to). Or maybe you didn't escalate the make-out sessions (you never mentioned anything beyond that) and she saw a lack of assertiveness. 

But, what is certain, is that by reaching out to her again, you were placing yourself at her whim and she, like pretty much any woman, gladly took and used the free validation. The only way it's fine to reach out and give it a shot is if you truly don't care what happens with this girl -- which is clearly not the case. Otherwise, here's a good Corey Wayne line -- the strongest negotiating position is to walk away and mean it. 

 

 

[Fletch Lives]

Quote

 "bring those beautiful lips over here and kiss me" are Corey Wayne,

 - yeah, I'm not sure I like that line.

 

Playing hard to get is good, but don't go overboard with it. 

I think she was flaky and into another guy, but OP did some things wrong too. You should have called her when she was sick, after you were done doing what you were doing. She wanted to talk to you on the phone.

Don't worry about it, it was good practice for the next one.

Edited April 3, 2020 by Fletch Lives

[Rex12]

Hey X1 anti, I'm kind of going through a similar situation as yourself right now.

I messed a girl around for a whole YEAR, ghosted her four times, didn't speak for months until the back end of last year. Got back on track but got too drunk on our last date & upset her. I realized way way too late that I was actually beginning to develop some feelings for her & wanted to see how it progressed. Attempted to make amends but too much damage done. Thought I was in total control of the situation but ultimately I got exactly what I deserved. Karma is a b***h.

Bottom line: You only have a small window of opportunity. Use it or lose it. I would have called her. Forget the guy on her insta. So what, you liked her, call her up & see what she had to say for herself.

Possibly too late to affect a positive outcome now, but it's worth a shot to nothing text if the situation is praying on your mind.