LeojDon Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 So long story short, I'm in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend who is Italian and lives in Denmark for her studies, we've been together 1 year and have a really intense and special connection, I've never met anyone like her. I've not been in a good way the past two months since she left for Copenhagen (she was in my city for 4 months for part of her studies) and I didn't take her moving well. I think I was at my lowest point the last two months as i'm still figuring out what I want to do in life and feel quite low, and it made me have doubts as to if she'd forget about me and if it'll work in future. She showed real strength to support me even when she was struggling to adapt to a new country/people/home. Fast forward to now, we had a huge argument last night, and we did 1 month ago too. She says she doesn't recognise me, and this isn't the guy she fell in love with. She says she doesn't think she can be with me now as I currently am, and that i've been selfish in not supporting her and feels I've taken her presence for granted. She then said you're still the love of my life but this version isn't the one I feel in love with. She wouldn't say she's ending it, and instead said she doesn't want to put a title on it but we should have a break where I can work on myself to try be the person she fell in love with again and message her when I feel I have. Is she trying to let me down gently and is too scared to officially end it? I feel like i've been a pretty passive boyfriend the last months but I see our future together, I just think I've not shown it enough recently. Our anniversary is coming up end of April (we can't be together for it because of the virus) and it breaks my heart to feel like it's fading away and I feel physically sick feeling like all our future plans and beautiful moments together are slowly leaving us. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 LDRs are tough under the best of circumstances. You were at a low point which left you seeming to be clingy. She wanted freedom & fun. You became a downer. Then the whole world fell apart. Trying being more upbeat when you talk to her. See if that helps. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 Yeah, you went all weak and clingy on her, like you're not strong enough to be on your own! That's not what women are looking for in a man. She clearly wants you to be strong and self-sufficient and not weak and insecure and whiney. But hey, this is why we date, to find out who a person really is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Which behaviour did she specifically have a problem with, OP? What were you saying or doing that she didn't like? If she wants to have a break and not officially be in a relationship, then I have to say it's probably going to come to an end altogether. That sort of thing is very difficult to sustain, especially long-distance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeojDon Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Which behaviour did she specifically have a problem with, OP? What were you saying or doing that she didn't like? If she wants to have a break and not officially be in a relationship, then I have to say it's probably going to come to an end altogether. That sort of thing is very difficult to sustain, especially long-distance. It was that i've been selfish such as being passive in conversations, and not being able to support her & show interest as much as she has to me. It's not like I've done something majorly bad, but she's says the way we talking in recent weeks felt empty with not the usual passion & quality so taking a break could be healthy for this. I asked if she's using it as a way to soften a break up, and she stated that it completely depends on me. That if she had a scenario in mind already then what would be the point of a break. It's not like we've said we aren't in a relationship, but its like she wants me to prove something and take responsibility. She has big exams coming up for Uni so it's not really a case of her wanting to test the waters with other people. She's its more so for my well-being than anything What do you think about it? Edited April 6, 2020 by LeojDon spelling error Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Boredom is a legit reason to break up. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted April 28, 2020 Share Posted April 28, 2020 Well , she's moved to another damn country and she has exams coming up ahh, that is big shyt , she needs you too yaknow she doesn't expect to have to go through all that and carry you on top of it. You have a few things right now sure but they pale compared, show a bit more enthusiasm and support for her right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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