Mikezoey123 Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 So my gf text her guy friend all day and night and most of the time she dosnt text him around me but when she does she will change how she is sitting so I can’t see but she will tell me about some of the text she promised me there is nothing going on she knows I know she text him a lot. But she is in the pregnancy depression so I saw a message that he called her beautiful I know nothing is going on because he has a girl and teenage kids it’s just she can’t wait for him to text back like she looks all the time to see 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 I would be suspicious. You do not know for a fact that nothing is going on either before or now or in the future. I would be thinking of dumping her ass to be honest Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 4 hours ago, Mikezoey123 said: I know nothing is going on because he has a girl and teenage kids it’s just she can’t wait for him to text back like she looks all the time to see You do realize that some people cheat on their partners, even if they have kids together? That in and of itself is certainly not assurance that he's faithful. Does he know she's pregnant? (ie. Is she far enough along that she's showing?) And what do you mean that your girlfriend is in the pregnancy depression? Has she been diagnosed as such, or do you just mean that she's worn out and struggling with the hormonal changes? It seems you know something is off. How was your relationship prior to this? How does she explain the constant contact? "We're just friends" is not sufficient, by the way. She's getting something more from this if it's as continuous as you describe. Particularly with the compliments he's feeding her. Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Quote I know nothing is going on because he has a girl and teenage kids Umm no dude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 If I was writing to a friend I might tend to shield what I was writing from my wife. It's just a small amount of privacy. It's very tough to gather your thoughts with someone looking over your shoulder. It doesn't mean I'm secretly conveying violent love to the recipient of my message. If you request to read her messages and she refuses - then get worried and get the baby DNA tested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 It's not good she's so hungry for validation from this guy or any guy. I guess maybe you better be telling her how beautiful she is too, huh? He probably wants her or he wouldn't be saying stuff like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mikezoey123 Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 10 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: You do realize that some people cheat on their partners, even if they have kids together? That in and of itself is certainly not assurance that he's faithful. Does he know she's pregnant? (ie. Is she far enough along that she's showing?) And what do you mean that your girlfriend is in the pregnancy depression? Has she been diagnosed as such, or do you just mean that she's worn out and struggling with the hormonal changes? It seems you know something is off. How was your relationship prior to this? How does she explain the constant contact? "We're just friends" is not sufficient, by the way. She's getting something more from this if it's as continuous as you describe. Particularly with the compliments he's feeding her. Yes our relationship before this was amazing it stoped during the pregnancy but now it’s the third trimester she is getting a lot. Loser and acting like a gf again and yes the doctor said this is the worst depression during a pregnancy he has seen and trust me he isn’t her type he is a lot older and tbh not attractive no homo and the only time they see each other in person is when she goes to the store to get drinks and where in a very small town everyone knows we’re together and I would know by now Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mikezoey123 Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 4 hours ago, schlumpy said: If I was writing to a friend I might tend to shield what I was writing from my wife. It's just a small amount of privacy. It's very tough to gather your thoughts with someone looking over your shoulder. It doesn't mean I'm secretly conveying violent love to the recipient of my message. If you request to read her messages and she refuses - then get worried and get the baby DNA tested. Oh she usually tells me what he said or laught and show me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mikezoey123 Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 4 hours ago, preraph said: It's not good she's so hungry for validation from this guy or any guy. I guess maybe you better be telling her how beautiful she is too, huh? He probably wants her or he wouldn't be saying stuff like that. He has a girl and two kids I tell her I love her and call her beautiful all the time but she dosnt want affection rn with the pregnancy Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mikezoey123 Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 But my biggest thing is we talk about important stuff things we need we joke some times and talk about random stuff very seldom lay but she talks to him about everything including her kid to the dog Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Have you asked her why she's letting a married guy flirt with her? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldtruck Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 13 minutes ago, preraph said: Have you asked her why she's letting a married guy flirt with her? ask her that, then tell her people with nothing to hide hide nothing, you want to see those texts. then tell the OMW if she is aware how much her husband is texting your your WW. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mikezoey123 Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 Yes she said it’s just how he is but I know I shouldn’t but I told her mom because her mom is friends with him to and she said that’s how he is she is so depressed that he is just trying to make her smile but I talked to him and my girl and told him to stop she doesn't play into it she just ignore it I know she isn’t cheating I just hate how much they talk and she dosnt have random conversation with me only about important stuff or things we need to do 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Glad you said something. She's not communicating well with you and talking to some married guy. That's not really fair. Has she seen someone for the depression? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mikezoey123 Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 12 minutes ago, preraph said: Glad you said something. She's not communicating well with you and talking to some married guy. That's not really fair. Has she seen someone for the depression? Yes but because of the pregnancy they won’t give her anything Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mikezoey123 Posted April 6, 2020 Author Share Posted April 6, 2020 16 minutes ago, oldtruck said: ask her that, then tell her people with nothing to hide hide nothing, you want to see those texts. then tell the OMW if she is aware how much her husband is texting your your WW. I think his wife knows she must because I’m literally sitting near my girl and she is texting. And forth all day every few min telling him about are dog being sick and what the vet did and everything but she can have a guy friend that’s not my problem it’s how often he even text good morning Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 55 minutes ago, Mikezoey123 said: I think his wife knows she must because I’m literally sitting near my girl and she is texting. And forth all day every few min telling him about are dog being sick and what the vet did and everything but she can have a guy friend that’s not my problem it’s how often he even text good morning Don't guess if she knows. Make sure she knows. She could be your ally and the extra transparency at the other end of the line may help the situation become more bearable for I sense that you are not willing to die on this hill. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 2 hours ago, Mikezoey123 said: I talked to him and my girl and told him to stop she doesn't play into it she just ignore it I know she isn’t cheating I just hate how much they talk and she dosnt have random conversation with me only about important stuff or things we need to do She isn't not playing into it if she's still having these frequent chats with him either, though. This guy can't cause issues if her own boundaries are strong enough. The problem here is she likes the attention from him. That's a risky slope for any relationship, especially when you say she doesn't engage much with you. This married man's behaviour is problematic but so is hers. You two need to have an honest talk about this. It's not going to get better just by having her tell you they're just friends. She could be doing a better job protecting the integrity of your relationship. You need to get to the bottom of why she's isn't really doing so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 Apparently, her "depression" doesn't stop her from her desire for attention from another man. Her depression is activated for you only. Okay, she's not cheating, good for you. But what you describe is a wife that doesn't love you at all. She's not interested in you, nor your attention, but more than happy attention from another man. (even with no physical aspect). This worth a serious conversation. It's not a conversation in which you ask her not to be in contact with this man. Her relationship with this man is just a symptom to a bigger problem - her feelings towards you. What you should ask her is to be honest, and to check with herself, how come that she's not interested in you at all, and if that is the situation, why dragging it? I really don't think that her behavior has anything to do with depression or pregnancy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 9, 2020 Share Posted April 9, 2020 Emotional affair....don't have to have sexual undertones to those messages. The best thing for you to do is to talk to her about it. She's feeling sad, lonely, bored, unattractive, scared? You need reach out to her and touch her emotionally to connect. This might take time but you can pull her away from this guy....and if all else fails contact him. Tell him that he's making matters worse and let him know that you are sure his wife wouldn't appreciate their continuous interaction with you woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 Sigh... make sure you DNA test the baby. Well, you know how it is. She is so depressed she tripped one day whilst out for a stroll, and fell onto his penis. She's texting him because he is the father, not you. 😟 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 Your wife is having an emotional affair with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 Your lack of action on this matter is teaching your wife that you will put up with it. You choice is to put a stop to it, which may mean you lose your wife, or having it eat a hole in your gut the whole time it's going on. Any chance you can strike up a friendship with his wife? How comical would it be for both you and your wife to be sitting on the couch ignoring each other but in a way connected through her texting the OM and you texting his wife. Why doesn't his wife care about his activities? Why doesn't she consider your wife a threat? That's a question that once answered may lead you to a better understanding. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 On 4/9/2020 at 10:01 PM, Poutrew said: Sigh... make sure you DNA test the baby. Well, you know how it is. She is so depressed she tripped one day whilst out for a stroll, and fell onto his penis. She's texting him because he is the father, not you. 😟 This could be very true. Link to post Share on other sites
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