Author ElaineGracex Posted April 7, 2020 Author Share Posted April 7, 2020 3 hours ago, kendahke said: See, none of this is up to him--that's what you're not getting. He doesn't get to dictate to you what you need to heal and move on. The minute he decided he didn't want to be your boyfriend anymore, he lost all the boyfriend perks, including the one where you place either your person or you feelings in close proximity to him. Put him on block and let him go be sad with his new girlfriend. That's his new best friend now. Stop trying to help him out for dumping you. Friends don't treat their friends like this. When you take him back, he punishes you for putting the distance in place. He only wants to talk to you again so badly so he can start his punishment campaign. Thank you so much for this I must say he was quite manipulative himself, and I was a girl with no boundaries so we were the recipe for a toxic relationship. I don't even know why I'm thinking of him, when he has a new girlfriend and I'm the one suffering from the breakup now. That's correct-- I felt as if I was being punished, which is strange. He was the one that dumped me and I was merely putting my boundaries. He felt as if I was doing it out of malice, so even after we got back together we weren't able to connect emotionally anymore. It felt lonely af. I really regretted taking him back then, If only I had stood my ground we might be in a better place right now.. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted April 7, 2020 Share Posted April 7, 2020 You're already in a better place---you know your inner voice is telling you how he's treating you isn't right and you came to people who are not in the middle or don't have a dog in the hunt (like his friends or your friends) to confirm that your inner voice is right. When you put him on block, that's you constructing the boundary you need from him right now. Once him and his toxic pity party have gotten the message that you aren't there to help him feel better about breaking up with you and you've moved on and gotten some distance and better perspective, maybe then you can try being cautious friends with him. Link to post Share on other sites
andytuotuo Posted April 8, 2020 Share Posted April 8, 2020 I was in the shoes of your EX, sort desperate for some love and attention. I would even say just to move on, like he already did. It is not healthy anymore. I just realize it now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElaineGracex Posted April 8, 2020 Author Share Posted April 8, 2020 19 hours ago, kendahke said: You're already in a better place---you know your inner voice is telling you how he's treating you isn't right and you came to people who are not in the middle or don't have a dog in the hunt (like his friends or your friends) to confirm that your inner voice is right. When you put him on block, that's you constructing the boundary you need from him right now. Once him and his toxic pity party have gotten the message that you aren't there to help him feel better about breaking up with you and you've moved on and gotten some distance and better perspective, maybe then you can try being cautious friends with him. The thing is, I have cut him out of my life and it felt cruel. I wonder if it's necessary.. It's true he was bad news, but I also understood where it came from. He didn't necessarily wake up one morning and decided to hurt me, he did what he did because of his own baggage which, I understand, still not mine to carry. And although he might be emotionally cheating on me, he broke up with me first before starting to date a new person, which means he has some conscious at the least. Since I've cut him off, I'd have to be the one who reached out first when I feel ready. I know I still want him as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElaineGracex Posted April 8, 2020 Author Share Posted April 8, 2020 12 hours ago, andytuotuo said: I was in the shoes of your EX, sort desperate for some love and attention. I would even say just to move on, like he already did. It is not healthy anymore. I just realize it now. You're right I'm trying my best to move on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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