do women want drama?

[basil67]

4 hours ago, Mrin said:

Many women I've dated: hold my beer...  

You're holding her beer?

[Fletch Lives]

People go out with who they are attracted to. Some of those happen to be jerks.

[alphamale]

women like men who are confident and stand their ground....sometimes this causes problems

[elaine567]

Some woman like confident men, some women like men they can order around, some women like  being the boss.
Some women are specifically looking for "weak" and "unsure" men.
Some women are looking for a "project" a man they can "improve", some women will chip away at a confident man as that is not the man she wants...
Women are individuals.

 

[dangerous]

As a man in his 50's dating largely women of a similar age, I find that the majority of women I meet carry way too much baggage and create drama. I think its an age thing, they've been hurt before but they can't let go and carry it over into the new relationship. That's my experience anyway.

PS: I accept that men too have 'baggage' but personally I feel I've learnt from it and try to leave it behind and go into a new relationship with a fresh outlook. I don't meet many women with this attitude though. 

[dangerous]

12 hours ago, simpycurious said:

I am CERTAIN that you can keep any MAN on his toes and that it would be quite the ride. 

btw I agree with this. SOME drama is thrilling lol!

[poppyfields]

16 hours ago, preraph said:

I like a little drama, but not from someone being a jerk.  I like some passion and flair, don't mind a little cockiness.

True for me too!  I echo what cookies posted too, just enough cockiness to keep me on my toes, a good tease works the same. 

Have a backbone, don't be afraid to call me on my "shyt" -- when warranted!  

If that amounts to drama, so be. 

Edited April 7, 2020 by poppyfields

[simpycurious]

13 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

True for me too!  I echo what cookies posted too, just enough cockiness to keep me on my toes, a good tease works the same. 

Have a backbone, don't be afraid to call me on my "shyt" -- when warranted!  

If that amounts to drama, so be. 

Agreed. There is a very fine line between being UBER cocky and confident.  Most overaly COCKY men are putting up a front (of course the group here will have initials or a name for it) to maybe cover up an insecurity (not ALL but some).  I enjoy women who are confident, self assured, FUN, athletic, open to new adventures and generally JUST ENJOYABLE.  Those types of women are increasingly RARE. 

[preraph]

I'm okay with the overcompensating cockiness because I like when someone makes himself strong in order to overcome whatever their problem was.  I view it as strength, more than someone who was just born all together, nothing to work on.  I'm kind of in that camp myself, so I understand it.  It's stronger than the person who didn't have to overcome anything. 

 

That guy I wrote about, I didn't know until 25 years later that he was considered to have a terminal immune disease as a child and wasn't expected to live past childhood.  When he reached adulthood and realized he just might make it, he completely overhauled himself, because as a child, he viewed himself as others did, as weak.  I was so startled when we met up after decades when he said, "Back then, did you view me as weak?"  I said, "Hell, no, as far as I was concerned, you were cock o' the walk."  I mean, women were all over him.  He even asked me to peel one off him one time.  And then that's when he told me that story.  Just made me respect him more. 

I had my own issues to overcome, and in some ways the way he stepped out and made himself into this fabulous man really inspired me to change myself.  I was quite young when I met him and struggling to not get stuck in certain philosophies and lifestyles.  Between him and David Bowie, I learned to remake myself into who I wanted to be.  Sometimes overcompensating is what you have to do to rebuild yourself.        

Edited April 7, 2020 by preraph

[alphamale]

1 hour ago, dangerous said:

As a man in his 50's dating largely women of a similar age, I find that the majority of women I meet carry way too much baggage and create drama. I think its an age thing, they've been hurt before but they can't let go and carry it over into the new relationship. That's my experience anyway.

PS: I accept that men too have 'baggage' but personally I feel I've learnt from it and try to leave it behind and go into a new relationship with a fresh outlook. I don't meet many women with this attitude though. 

i would agree dangerous

[alphamale]

34 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

  Those types of women are increasingly RARE. 

i would take it one step further and say they never existed

[preraph]

Don't discount the fact that they just aren't young and naive pushovers anymore and may not be nearly as hesitant to rock the boat and express their feelings and needs as young inexperienced girls are.  Everyone who isn't a virgin anymore has baggage, folks.  Otherwise known as growing a functioning brain.

[alphamale]

women love drama, the more intense a relationship is the more valuable it is to her

[mortensorchid]

You might as well ask what the meaning of life is, because I don't know the answer to that either.  But to answer your question as best I can, I wish that some people would just be more exciting and adventurous.  Do women want drama from men?  Don't just assume this because it's a "woman thing" or a "man thing".  Here is some of the answer on the part of women that is:

Bad Boys - Why do women go for bad boys - alcoholics / drug addicts who get into fist fights, throw chairs through windows, and calling for bail money.  Because there are double standards out there for men's and women's behaviors. When women act up or are bad (Paris Hilton, Courtney Love, kim Kardashian, etc.) The hammer of Thor comes down on her by all kinds of sources - friends, teachers, family, the general public, etc.  When men act up, we say "boys will be boys" and dismiss it.  Extreme example, but look at Charlie Sheen - he's been bad since he was a teenager and yet he's not going to change, still attracts women (albeit girls and girls in porn, not women), and has managed to etch out a career for himself multiple times.  When women go for bad boys, that is appealing to our wants and needs to be bad and we are acting it out through them.  I would say to any one of those women who do, my age, younger or older, and especially to my younger self "You wanna be bad? Be bad. You can be as bad as you want to be. Am I a bad girl? Yes I am. Are you a bad girl? Yes you are. But you don't need one of them to validate it to you or others."  

Why do men go for Bad Girls?  I think guys in their 20s go for that to be sure.  I have also seen, however, guys make the stupidest choices which are brought on by a few things.  One is the rebound - they break up with me because they don't want to make the commitment to a serious or LTR, rebound, and barely a year later marry the next one.  The next woman, however, is not the right one and they don't take the time to find that out about that person.  The next woman, however, jumps into it as quickly as he does because she sees a situation that she can take advantage of.  And does.  Then the man realizes "Oh s*** what did I get myself into?"  

Do men like drama?  Well... I don't know about that.  Some of them seem to get bored quickly, some of them seem to like women who cause problems, some of them are looking for a certain type, etc.  But what I have seen they make terrible decisions and suffer the consequences more than women do.  Or maybe that's just me.

[poppyfields]

16 hours ago, simpycurious said:

I could tell you about a man's athletic prowess and how equates to dancing

 

Yeah, ever watch a basketball player in slow motion?  Very similar to ballet!!

Yes I'm being serious. 

[Cookiesandough]

Yes, I believe most men like drama as well. Just different degrees and manifests in different ways. But it’s like saying why do people eat sweets if they say they don’t want to get fat? There are obviously aspects of it that people like, not necessarily all of it. Also, drama doesn’t necessarily men acting crazy or sleeping with your friend. That’s the extreme side of the spectrum. I believe that in general, men/women do not like ‘ yes men/women’ or someone who is 0 challenge when they’re together. It gets boring day after day. 

[simpycurious]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

Yeah, ever watch a basketball player in slow motion?  Very similar to ballet!!

Yes I'm being serious. 

well put Poppy very well put....I could use a few other sports as well 

[poppyfields]

14 hours ago, simpycurious said:

I am CERTAIN that you can keep any MAN on his toes and that it would be quite the ride. 

Due respect simpy, re cookies, you might want to try a different approach, the one you've got now doesn't seem to be working too well.  XD

Edited April 7, 2020 by poppyfields

[RecentChange]

16 hours ago, basil67 said:

@simpycurious  Hubby and I thrive in an environment of fun and laughs backed up by mutual respect and a calm atmosphere.    A guy who's into drama wouldn't last long at all with me. 

Yeah count me as another that doesn't like any drama. I don't need cockiness and flare or whatever.

I REALLY value harmony, no arguing, no passionate fights etc. 

I don't want to be "kept on my toes" nor behave in a way that would make someone else have to stay "on their toes".

Maybe that's "fun" for short term relationships, or maybe some people really do enjoy some drama, but not me. No way.

I couldn't imagine living with that for decades. I often say my parents marriage is one I aspire to, and they have absolutely no drama. No fights, no big egos, just a lovely team that enjoy each other. 

[preraph]

To me, drama doesn't mean fights.  I don't do fights.  If I'm feeling like fighting, I'm on my way out the door.  I don't want to be that person.  

[RecentChange]

7 minutes ago, preraph said:

To me, drama doesn't mean fights.  I don't do fights.  If I'm feeling like fighting, I'm on my way out the door.  I don't want to be that person.  

What is "drama" then? In the theater, drama means conflict.

I also don't do "overly emotional" again, I like harmony. To me, drama is the opposite of harmony

Edited April 7, 2020 by RecentChange

[simpycurious]

7 minutes ago, RecentChange said:

Yeah count me as another that doesn't like any drama. I don't need cockiness and flare or whatever.

I REALLY value harmony, no arguing, no passionate fights etc. 

I don't want to be "kept on my toes" nor behave in a way that would make someone else have to stay "on their toes".

Maybe that's "fun" for short term relationships, or maybe some people really do enjoy some drama, but not me. No way.

I couldn't imagine living with that for decades. I often say my parents marriage is one I aspire to, and they have absolutely no drama. No fights, no big egos, just a lovely team that enjoy each other. 

It's good that you have the balance that makes you happy RC.  I think that is what everyone should aspire too and maybe be lucky enough to find.  I am like you in that my parents NEVER fought and were really happy together. 

3 minutes ago, preraph said:

To me, drama doesn't mean fights.  I don't do fights.  If I'm feeling like fighting, I'm on my way out the door.  I don't want to be that person.  

I agree Preraph NO FIGHTING or arguing.  It's pointless and only leads to hard feelings.  It's sad when people cannot see another's POINT OF VIEW.  You don't have to agree with the view but at least be open enough to LISTEN.

[RecentChange]

Also - among his peers, my husband is known for being passionate, opinionated, he has a strong personality and lots of it. And I enjoy those aspects of him.

But that doesn't translate to drama in our relationship. He doesn't keep me on my toes, etc. He's firey, but not with me. And I guess the same could be said about myself in that I am generally strong willed, confident etc.

But at home, together we are both quite tame. 

[preraph]

7 minutes ago, RecentChange said:

What is "drama" then? In the theater, drama means conflict.

I also don't do "overly emotional" again, I like harmony. To me, drama is the opposite of harmony

To me, it means some excitement, maybe some theatrics.   Me and one bf used to bicker, but none of it was serious and usually ended in wrestling and laughing.

[RecentChange]

Gotcha, I really do not enjoy bickering, I like deriving my excitement from elsewhere. Both my husband and I are kinda adrenaline junkies - him with his extreme downhill mountain biking / motocross / BMX. Me with my dangerous / speed event horse sports.

But at home, I want peace.

Different strokes for different folks!