He's the only guy I want to be long term with, did I mess up any chances of that? If not how can I reverse it and make him choose what he wants? and why was he so curious on if his finger print was still in my phone?

[Tab96]

So my ex and I broke up, and the first round was not how I expected the relationship to be. I ended up from the start putting his fingerprint in my phone to show I have nothing to hide. We argued a lot over petty things. Then we broke up. A month later he begged for a second chance. So I gave it to him. We slept together and acted like we were together. Then he called me one day and said, “I think our lives are going in different directions. But who knows it could be right person wrong time. But I like where we are at as far as hanging out and talking.” So I took a break. No contact. Then just the other day we had a conversation on how I feel like I didn’t get a fair chance in the relationship and I’m angry with him. He agreed that at the moment he doesn’t know what he wants. A couple of days later we hung out at a friends house, he was flirty with me all night and stayed by my side which confused the hell out of me. Again we slept together because I can’t help at how attracted I am with him. And then again the next night he came over and again We slept together. That night he tried grabbing for my phone, but I didn’t let him have it. Then he asked if his finger print was in my phone still. I said yeah and so are our pictures because I can’t get myself to delete them, I’m holding out honestly. He says really? And laid there quietly.

[kendahke]

2 hours ago, Tab96 said:

That night he tried grabbing for my phone, but I didn’t let him have it.

The best defense is a good offense... that sounds like projection on his part to me.

If he's dumping you, then he's not owed his demand to see your phone. No. That's a boyfriend perk and he's an ex by his own doing.

2 hours ago, Tab96 said:

Then just the other day we had a conversation on how I feel like I didn’t get a fair chance in the relationship and I’m angry with him. He agreed that at the moment he doesn’t know what he wants. A couple of days later we hung out at a friends house, he was flirty with me all night and stayed by my side which confused the hell out of me. Again we slept together because I can’t help at how attracted I am with him. And then again the next night he came over and again We slept together.

While you may not be able to help how attracted you are, you certainly can help and control any action you put behind it.  You not standing sentry to your boundary is why he's snatching your feelings from one side of the room to the other.

Either he poops or he gets off the pot, but he can't wind you up whenever he feels like it and then fall back and say "I don't know what I want" when you need him to step up.  If he can't step up, he has to step off.

Edited April 7, 2020 by kendahke

[kendahke]

and take his fingerprint off your phone. he's your ex... he has to earn that privilege and that doesn't come with "I think our lives are going in different directions. But who knows it could be right person wrong time." You having nothing to hide isn't the issue: it's him treating you like an option and inconvenience until he's horny. Don't allow yourself to be used like that.

Edited April 7, 2020 by kendahke

[preraph]

Sounds like he mainly reconciles to have sex and then comes right behind it with, It's wrong time or we're too different or whatever to keep you from latching on.  Sex is what it sounds like he does know he wants.  Nothing else.  Of course, such as it is with exes, they don't want you but don't want anyone else to have you and if he could confirm you were not seeing anyone else by looking at your phone, then he would get his little ego validation boost and be perfectly content to keep things as they are -- going nowhere.

[stillafool]

He's the only guy I want to be long term with, did I mess up any chances of that? If not how can I reverse it and make him choose what he wants? and why was he so curious on if his finger print was still in my phone?

By Tab96 , 2 hours ago in Second Chances

Well as long as you keep having sex with him he isn't losing anything, is he?  Yet he won't commit to a relationship.  He doesn't seem like he's interested in a relationship with you.  You haven't messed up anything.  You can't make him chose, you can't make him do anything.  You can only chose to control yourself and your emotions as it relates to him.

[kendahke]

Quote

I’m holding out honestly. He says really? And laid there quietly.

Translation: "she isn't getting the message that I've demoted her to FWB".

OP--you cannot sex a man into a relationship he has no intention on being in. He'll take the free and easy sex, but you won't get a relationship out of it and he will remind you once the fever has broken that he's already told you that he doesn't want anything more than to hang out, chat and have sex with you on his time table.