Should I go stay with him during lockdown?

[goldilocks3bears]

Hi,

My boyfriend of 4 months asked to take a break today as I am not into staying at his place during lockdown.

Where I am from so you can only go out to buy essentials such as groceries and only essential workers are allowed to go to work. I work from home and my boyfriend is an essential worker so he goes into the office.
I have anxiety and I am now very anxious because of the coronavirus. I am really scared to catch it from him - I am scared of the virus.
I have expressed this to him and also that if I come stay with him I won't be able to visit my family (since the lockdown I moved in with my mom). This is also making me anxious.
He said that we need to be there for each other through thick and thin and that if I cared enough about him I would come to him and I wouldn't leave him alone.

I am really not sure now what to do as he is really nice to me but I am anxious.

Would appreciate your advice.
Thanks

[preraph]

No.  Just tell him NO.  Good grief.  He knows as well as anyone.  You don't need to take this risk and he shouldn't ASK you to!  He's probably either just horny or wants you to gather supplies for him or something.  Tell him no.

Edited April 10, 2020 by preraph

[kendahke]

I'd stay put unless you really want to risk giving it to your mother--can you live with that?

He's going to have to get over his selfish self.

If he really loved and cared for you, he wouldn't ask you to put your health in danger and not only that, get picked up by the police and heavily fined or whatever it is they're doing where you live.

His selfishness is breathtaking.

Edited April 10, 2020 by kendahke

[Gaeta]

You've only been dating 4 months, there is noway I'd pick a boyfriend of 4 months over my parents. You need to stay put where you are with your own.

This below is big manipulation. A man that really cares about you would not make you pick. He would consider you have anxiety and prefer to stay with your parents. NO  you do not need to be there for each other through thick and thin, noway! You're just starting to date. 

He said that we need to be there for each other through thick and thin and that if I cared enough about him I would come to him and I wouldn't leave him alone.

[kendahke]

18 minutes ago, kendahke said:

If he really loved and cared for you, he wouldn't ask you to put your health in danger and not only that, get picked up by the police and heavily fined or whatever it is they're doing where you live.

... for being out in the streets trying to placate and selfish, manipulative and controlling boyfriend.

Take that break--in fact, break up. That would be the best thing you could do.

Gaeta is right on the money: not for someone you've only known for 4 months.

Edited April 10, 2020 by kendahke

[goldilocks3bears]

46 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You've only been dating 4 months, there is noway I'd pick a boyfriend of 4 months over my parents. You need to stay put where you are with your own.

This below is big manipulation. A man that really cares about you would not make you pick. He would consider you have anxiety and prefer to stay with your parents. NO  you do not need to be there for each other through thick and thin, noway! You're just starting to date. 

He said that we need to be there for each other through thick and thin and that if I cared enough about him I would come to him and I wouldn't leave him alone.

Thanks everyone for replying. That is what my sister also said. One of my problems is that if I go stay at his place then that means that I won't be able to see my parents for a long time and that is making me anxious on top of my anxiety. 

[smackie9]

NO! give your head a shake....4 months? not ready for that kind of commitment. If you want this to last stay away...the heart grows fonder as they say

[Blind-Sided]

Yep... what they said.

4 months, and he has to interact with people.  not good.

[preraph]

He's at risk.  That's your reason for not going.  He's literally just being selfish.  

[Gr8fuln2020]

4 hours ago, goldilocks3bears said:

Hi,

My boyfriend of 4 months asked to take a break today as I am not into staying at his place during lockdown.

Where I am from so you can only go out to buy essentials such as groceries and only essential workers are allowed to go to work. I work from home and my boyfriend is an essential worker so he goes into the office.
I have anxiety and I am now very anxious because of the coronavirus. I am really scared to catch it from him - I am scared of the virus.
I have expressed this to him and also that if I come stay with him I won't be able to visit my family (since the lockdown I moved in with my mom). This is also making me anxious.
He said that we need to be there for each other through thick and thin and that if I cared enough about him I would come to him and I wouldn't leave him alone.

I am really not sure now what to do as he is really nice to me but I am anxious.

Would appreciate your advice.
Thanks

Sorry, but your bf is s dingle-whopper! He is trying to guilt you or threaten you to making a selfish decision. He is feeling lonely and missing the sex  (unless you are not having sex.... ) 

Edited April 11, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020

[Gr8fuln2020]

2 hours ago, smackie9 said:

NO! give your head a shake....4 months? not ready for that kind of commitment. If you want this to last stay away...the heart grows fonder as they say

Or in his case, more resentful and duplicitous. I hope I am wrong...

[Cookiesandough]

I think your bf wasn’t even invested enough in this to do a temporary long distance thing. That does take effort, like text/phone/giving your rship attention and not get anything physical  when he could just be veggung out and gaming. Maybe get on Tinder and sext people when he’s bored and a chance of meeting . Just let him go 

Edited April 11, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[chillii]

Nah , you stick to your guns , gotta be smart about this stuff and you are being but yeah besides , only 4mths verses your family,    nope .

[schlumpy]

Put the ball in his court.

Tell him you will be happy to stay with him if he stays home and that if he cared enough about you that is exactly what he would do.

This should be interesting. Good luck.

[Malin889]

So stay with him or you break up? Yikes, sounds very manipulating. Don't stay with some guy you've only known for 4 months, especially over your parents.  Sounds like a jerk and very selfish. Is he willing to video chat/talk on the phone? Has he done selfish things like this before?