preraph Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 It would be like if you asked him to take a picture of the back of his head to make sure he didn't have a bald spot. I wonder how that would go down. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
miss2017 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, preraph said: It would be like if you asked him to take a picture of the back of his head to make sure he didn't have a bald spot. I wonder how that would go down. Exactly! Like I said before, the guy is not exactly a fit guy model, so should keep his mouth shut. I think he connects self esteem with body image and maybe was shocked with my ‘do not care’ approach to it. Edited April 12, 2020 by miss2017 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) @MissPinkEyes at his very first comment about "don't get fat" because you ate some chocolate.....I would have blocked him without warning. No matter what his personal preferences are, being the food police is not cool. Edited April 12, 2020 by basil67 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 One of the many reasons some guys want extremely fit women and can't accept anything but is because of their own low self-esteem and they want to use a trophy type girlfriend as a crutch for their ego. But media plays a huge part in it too. If there were no extremely fit women it would be just like the people who grew up out in the country and were attracted to the person next door almost no matter what they look like. 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) 13 minutes ago, miss2017 said: Yes. It’s not about my body it’s about his lack of respect to women in general. I don't necessarily agree with that Miss. If me, I would have taken his comments as yes a fishing exhibition (par for the couse when meeting on line imo), but if we were getting on well, I would have tried to have fun with it. Cleverly tossed it right back to him and we would have playfully bantered about it. That's just my personality, I love playful banter and can be a bit of a snark sometimes too, when warranted. Perhaps the fact you consider him rude and offensive reflects more of an incompatability issue than the fact he's into fitness and you're not? JMO. Edited April 12, 2020 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: IIf me, I would have taken his comments as yes a fishing exhibition (par for the couse when meeting on line imo), but if we were getting on well, I would have tried to have fun with it. Cleverly tossed it right back to him and we would have playfully bantered about it. Definitely fishing. And if she'd said, playfully, "Oh, I ROCK a bikini" he'd start salivating and asking for pics of her in it. We all know how this goes by a script! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 Let’s face it most are attracted to the fit and beautiful. This guy is just cutting to the chase. Obviously he doesn’t want to have his time wasted, he has a preference. He’s being a bit of a loser about it tho. Block delete move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 5 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Cleverly tossed it right back to him and we would have playfully bantered about it. Yes true - bantering back would be an option other than blocking. I could have bantered with something like "so, do you always police the weight of your dates?" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 2 minutes ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said: Definitely fishing. And if she'd said, playfully, "Oh, I ROCK a bikini" he'd start salivating and asking for pics of her in it. We all know how this goes by a script! Ok now you're speculating we have no idea how he would have responded. Different strokes and all that; I'm imagining that happening to me, and it actually has in one form or another, and I (we) had fun with it, a playful exchange. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) In thinking about it, after the bikini comment, as a joke I may have sent him a photo of a famous model from Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition or something, lol. Something to make light of it, I dunno just my nature. Assuming we were getting on well before the comment. Edited April 12, 2020 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 I can imagine having a bit of fun banter. But even if the banter made it clear that such comments were unacceptable, the problem would remain that I now have a window into part of their personality which I don't like. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miss2017 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 5 minutes ago, poppyfields said: In thinking about it, after the bikini comment, as a joke I may have sent him a photo of a famous model from Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition or something, lol. Something to make light of it, I dunno just my nature. Assuming we were getting on well before the comment. I usually joke about things too and I’m all about banter, but there are boundaries and I feel this time he crossed the line. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miss2017 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 Just now, basil67 said: I can imagine having a bit of fun banter. But even if the banter made it clear that such comments were unacceptable, the problem would remain that I now have a window into part of their personality which I don't like. Exactly. It’s called boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) 12 minutes ago, basil67 said: I can imagine having a bit of fun banter. But even if the banter made it clear that such comments were unacceptable, the problem would remain that I now have a window into part of their personality which I don't like. Yeah, but let's face it (and no offense guys) but guys (some not all) have been known to say some pretty dumb things sometimes. I don't think they intentionally mean to be rude or offend, they just relate differently. Some are nervous, whatever. Just my experience, but if I took offense at every dumb thing a guy ever said (notwithstanding sexual comments or sending me d*** pics before meet), I would never have dated half the guys I dated, who turned out to be good guys! Edited April 12, 2020 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
miss2017 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) And regardless of why he said that, any conscious man knows that women suffer a lot of pressure from society in regards to body image so a tactful and respectable man would never do ‘bikini’ comments to a woman. Any selfish idiot with a lack of self awareness would. Edited April 12, 2020 by miss2017 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 Some things that people say are dumb. Other things that people say are red flags. And some are dealbreakers. While this is all very personal, it's important to know which are which. Link to post Share on other sites
miss2017 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Yeah, but let's face it (and no offense guys) but guys (some not all) have been known to say say some pretty dumb things sometimes. I don't think they intentionally mean to be rude or offend, they just relate differently. Some are nervous, whatever. Just my experience, but if I took offense at every dumb thing a guy ever said (notwithstanding sexual comments before meet or sending me d*** pics), I would never have dated half the guys I dated, who turned out to be good guys! I pass dating ‘good guys’ who send d*** picks and make sexual comments. There are other good guys who know what respect means. Edited April 12, 2020 by miss2017 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miss2017 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 1 minute ago, basil67 said: Some things that people say are dumb. Other things that people say are red flags. And some are dealbreakers. While this is all very personal, it's important to know which are which. Exactly. To me this was a red flag. And he has done this type of comment several times on different days, not just once. Red flag at its best. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) 3 minutes ago, miss2017 said: I pass dating ‘good guys’ who send d*** picks and make sexual comments. I don't think you understood my post because that's what I just said. No on sexual comments and d*** pics, for sure!! Edited April 12, 2020 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 More than a red flag - it's in deal breaker territory now. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) There's nothing wrong with him just because he likes someone in good shape that enjoys being that way. l like the same , because that's one of the many things l like physically that turns me on, so what , that's what l like so shoot me. But yeah , he's going a bit over board with he's nit picking and comments but really he's just fishing around trying to figure out if you value staying in shape because he doesn't want someone that doesn't givafk and is gonna put on 20kg as soon as she's got a bf. He does sound like he'd be a pain in the ass though . Edited April 12, 2020 by chillii 3 Link to post Share on other sites
miss2017 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 3 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I don't think you understood my post because that's what I just said. No on sexual comments and d*** pics, for sure!! Yes got it now, sorry! Agree, but he crossed the line between saying a dumb thing and being disrespectful. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, miss2017 said: Exactly. To me this was a red flag. And he has done this type of comment several times on different days, not just once. Red flag at its best. Ok, the guy is a boob, he's rude, he's offensive, he's disrespectful, you've made your point. Why go on about it, he's not for you and that's okay! I see it differently, and that's okay too! Different strokes. Just block and delete, NEXT. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, good luck!! Edited April 12, 2020 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
miss2017 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 3 minutes ago, chillii said: There's nothing wrong with him just because he likes someone in good shape that enjoys being that way. l like the same , because that's one of the many things that turns me on, so what , that's one of the things l like physically so shoot me. But yeah , he's going a bit over board with he's nit picking and comments but really he's just fishing around trying to figure out if you value staying in shape because he doesn't want someone that doesn't givafk and is gonna put on 20kg as soon as she's got a bf. He does sound like he'd be a pain in the ass though . Yeah, I don’t know either how he will be in a relationship, but I have around 10 years of photos on my Facebook that he can see and I’m not over weight in any of them. So he was just being an idiot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miss2017 Posted April 12, 2020 Share Posted April 12, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Ok, the guy is a boob, he's rude, he's offensive, he's disrespectful, you've made your point. Why go on about it, he's not for you and that's okay! Just block and delete, NEXT. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, good luck!! Yes! And is good that he showed it now rather than later. Edited April 12, 2020 by miss2017 Link to post Share on other sites
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