Guy I met online mentioned my weight and size!

[miss2017]

17 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I dunno, I rather like being teased and not a huge fan of compliments, I find them to be contrived in many cases and don't need them to know a guy is CRAZY for me and thinks I'm beautiful. lol

Don't go by me though, I'm weird.  

Different strokes and all that.  

There’s a difference between teasing and banter and crossing the line and being rude.

[poppyfields]

I know simp, many people are shocked when I tell them that.

But I’m serious, compliments are over-rated imo, I just don’t need them. 

Referring to my current, occasionally, sure when I put forth a lot of effort, dressed to the nines when we’re going someplace special, which isn’t all that often.  When he's here at home and not traveling, right now we're long distance. 

But other than that, I’m pretty much a jeans and t-shirt gal.  Don’t like fancy, expensive restaurants, let’s go to the hole down the street with great food, great music, great vibe.  

And yes he also teases me A LOT which I love, it’s a sign of endearment at least it is to me.

And he also SHOWS me in so many ways how beautiful he thinks I am whether I'm wearing a baseball cap, hair in pony, jeans, tee OR wearing an evening gown, full face makeup going to a special event.

 

Edited April 13, 2020 by poppyfields

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, miss2017 said:

There’s a difference between teasing and banter and crossing the line and being rude.

I think we're done debating this.

YOU interpreted his comments as rude and nasty and that is all that matters. 

Next. 

[Gr8fuln2020]

1 hour ago, miss2017 said:

Being disrespectful disguised as being funny can be considered a form of gaslighting.

Passive aggressive people do this all the time. USE HUMOUR as a disguise for disdain. I think the guy was being a jerk plain and simple. The OP should have immediately deleted and moved on instead of entertaining him and becoming FB buddies.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said:

Tall girl checking in too!! I’m 5’7 ish and close to 6” in super high  heels !!  

Ooof.  My back hurt just imagining it!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

10 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

Passive aggressive people do this all the time. USE HUMOUR as a disguise for disdain. I think the guy was being a jerk plain and simple. The OP should have immediately deleted and moved on instead of entertaining him and becoming FB buddies.

Couldn't agree more!

[miss2017]

12 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

Passive aggressive people do this all the time. USE HUMOUR as a disguise for disdain. I think the guy was being a jerk plain and simple. The OP should have immediately deleted and moved on instead of entertaining him and becoming FB buddies.

We became FB buddies before that.

I already stopped talking to him.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Just now, miss2017 said:

We became FB buddies before that.

I already stopped talking to him.

My apologies for not getting the timeline accurate. Lesson learned. Don't give anyone who make comments veiled with humor or sarcasm on subject matter that you find offensive any additional second to exist in your life. Not worth it and as established, that person is very much not going to change for the better.

[preraph]

1 hour ago, introverted1 said:

Gaslighting?  For real?  Pretty soon I expect to read that his comments are a mask for secret homicidal tendencies.

 

If he IS homicidal, I am going to say he's the low IQ disorganized type of killer.  He'll probably spy on a woman first to make sure she's not got any wayward fat deposits, and then he'll wait until she comes out of the house alone and sidle up next to her like the weasel he is and then won't leave her alone until she turns the hose on him.  Just off the top of my head.  

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

2 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

My apologies for not getting the timeline accurate. Lesson learned. Don't give anyone who make comments veiled with humor or sarcasm on subject matter that you find offensive any additional second to exist in your life. Not worth it and as established, that person is very much not going to change for the better.

Yep.  20 years from now you'd still be hearing, "Oh come on.....that was just a joke....you're way too sensitive!"

[preraph]

13 minutes ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said:

Ooof.  My back hurt just imagining it!

I'm 5'7" and used to love to teeter on platforms, but spiked heels killed my feet.  

[miss2017]

4 minutes ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said:

Yep.  20 years from now you'd still be hearing, "Oh come on.....that was just a joke....you're way too sensitive!"

I’m just too awoke that is. That’s why in 20 years from now (a lot less actually) I won’t even remember he exists.

[miss2017]

6 minutes ago, preraph said:

If he IS homicidal, I am going to say he's the low IQ disorganized type of killer.  He'll probably spy on a woman first to make sure she's not got any wayward fat deposits, and then he'll wait until she comes out of the house alone and sidle up next to her like the weasel he is and then won't leave her alone until she turns the hose on him.  Just off the top of my head.  

He actually told me that he thinks about suicide a lot for the past 6 years. He never attempted anything but from time to time he gets really depressed and have suicidal thoughts.

I told him to go look for a therapist asap because that is not normal.

I think he is just really depressed.

[preraph]

^ Well, there's a lot of murder/suicides with unbalanced wingnuts.  I wasn't serious about him being a killer, just making fun, but if he is operating from a low-self esteem and that's why he must have a trophy body to make himself feel more worthy, then those are the guys that are hard to leave without them losing it because you take their temporary borrowed self-esteem with you and leave them feeling they have nothing to live for -- and those are who often take the woman or children with them, too.  

 

More likely, he's just a little irk of a guy with not much sense and a little too much entitlement, though.  

[stillafool]

6 minutes ago, preraph said:

I'm 5'7" and used to love to teeter on platforms, but spiked heels killed my feet.  

I loved the spikes ones too. I'm 5'6 and was reaching for 6'.

[preraph]

I used to love how it made my legs look.  My legs were already disproportionately long, and then the platforms just made me look like a Kiss caricature or something.  

[Gr8fuln2020]

47 minutes ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said:

Yep.  20 years from now you'd still be hearing, "Oh come on.....that was just a joke....you're way too sensitive!"

I think we're all familiar with people who use words like this to hide some insecurity or underlying contempt. They don't want to come right out and fully reveal how they feel, so they dress it with distracting ribbons and a veneer of innocent, silky, wrapping paper to soften their true feelings.

[preraph]

Yeah, Gr8fuln202, I've known one doozy.  "Only joking," and he was totally obnoxious.  Loudmouthed, and an increasingly bad drunk.  He was horrible.  I worked with him when he was young and him being young, kind of overlooked some of it.  Then I took over an office and worked over him and by then it was really bad and he was just intolerable.  

[simpycurious]

4 hours ago, poppyfields said:

I know simp, many people are shocked when I tell them that.

But I’m serious, compliments are over-rated imo, I just don’t need them. 

Referring to my current, occasionally, sure when I put forth a lot of effort, dressed to the nines when we’re going someplace special, which isn’t all that often.  When he's here at home and not traveling, right now we're long distance. 

But other than that, I’m pretty much a jeans and t-shirt gal.  Don’t like fancy, expensive restaurants, let’s go to the hole down the street with great food, great music, great vibe.  

And yes he also teases me A LOT which I love, it’s a sign of endearment at least it is to me.

And he also SHOWS me in so many ways how beautiful he thinks I am whether I'm wearing a baseball cap, hair in pony, jeans, tee OR wearing an evening gown, full face makeup going to a special event.

 

I agree Poppy but I do not think the occasional "hey you look amazing today" is a bad thing at least from my point of view.  I also LOVE the casual attire and trying new places that MAY BE off the beaten path.  At times, I might get a little extravagant which I fully recognize is maybe too much.  The ability to be funny and tease are beyond FUN to me and I something I am always doing.  

 

4 hours ago, preraph said:

I used to love how it made my legs look.  My legs were already disproportionately long, and then the platforms just made me look like a Kiss caricature or something.  

great legs are AMAZING and I am certain yours are STILL exceptional 

[Ellener]

5 hours ago, miss2017 said:

in 20 years from now (a lot less actually) I won’t even remember he exists.

don't give him another twenty minutes!

[preraph]

32 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

I agree Poppy but I do not think the occasional "hey you look amazing today" is a bad thing at least from my point of view.  I also LOVE the casual attire and trying new places that MAY BE off the beaten path.  At times, I might get a little extravagant which I fully recognize is maybe too much.  The ability to be funny and tease are beyond FUN to me and I something I am always doing.  

 

great legs are AMAZING and I am certain yours are STILL exceptional 

If only. They're only even marginally operable. I will say they're not as fat as the rest of me.

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, simpycurious said:

I agree Poppy but I do not think the occasional "hey you look amazing today" is a bad thing at least from my point of view.  

Oh I definitely agree and think I mentioned that on occasion l, I love it!

It's more meaningful to me, sincere when it's only occasional, versus telling me how beautiful I am every hour of the day (ok, exaggerating a little there) but you know what I mean hopefully.

I dunno, it can get old and I just don't need that type of validation on a regular basis anyway.  

I fully acknowledge that I'm a bit weird in this regard!!

 

Edited April 14, 2020 by poppyfields

[simpycurious]

11 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Oh I definitely agree and think I mentioned that on occasion l, I love it!

It's more meaningful to me, sincere when it's only occasional, versus telling me how beautiful I am every hour of the day (ok, exaggerating a little there) but you know what I mean hopefully.

I dunno, I just don't need that type of validation on a regular basis.

I fully acknowledge that I'm a bit weird in this regard!!

 

Of course, you don't NEED validation because...........I have a great deal to expand on this but it might be too much

 

5 hours ago, preraph said:

I used to love how it made my legs look.  My legs were already disproportionately long, and then the platforms just made me look like a Kiss caricature or something.  

Preraph, you are always awesome so own it......

Edited April 14, 2020 by simpycurious

[poppyfields]

24 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

Of course, you don't NEED validation because...........I have a great deal expand on this but it might be too much. 

Nothing is too much round here simp.

Talk to us, let us know how you think, the rest of us do!  

Personally I'd like to know what you mean because in my experience many women and men "do" need that type of validation.

That's why they have like a zillion pics on their IG, or even on a dating app.

They thrive on getting attention from their looks and appearance, they seek out that type of validation.  The more "likes" the more validated they feel.  I actually know a few people like this, women mostly. 

JMO, what say you? 

Edited April 14, 2020 by poppyfields

[simpycurious]

10 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Nothing is too much round here simp.

Talk to us, let us know how you think, the rest of us do!  

Personally I'd like to know what you mean because in my experience many women and men "do" need that type of validation.

That's why they have like a zillion pics on their IG, or even on a dating app.

They thrive on getting attention from their looks and appearance, they seek out that type of validation.  The more "likes" the more validated they feel.  I actually know a few people like this, women mostly. 

JMO, what say you? 

I think the thread brings up a valid concern for many.  It's probably a bad idea (teasing or not) to comment on someone's weight/size.  I have friends who struggled to maintain their weight (to effectively engage in a athletic pursuit) and they were just as sensitive about their lack of weight as someone might be that is overweight.  Everyone is more than likely sensitive about something in their lives and you can still kid/tease without being mean spirited