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Guy I met online mentioned my weight and size!

MissPinkEyes

By MissPinkEyes,
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simpycurious

simpycurious

Posted
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10 minutes ago, miss2017 said:

And regardless of why he said that, any conscious man knows that women suffer a lot of pressure from society in regards to body image so a tactful and respectable man would never do ‘bikini’ comments to a woman. Any selfish idiot with a lack of self awareness would.

It lacked tact, class, common SENSE, etc....but what the poster said above about GUYS saying dumb things is a HUGE generalization JMO.  I honestly believe the guy was "sending" a message of sorts with the bikni comment.  I am sure the LS Dictionary has a term for it but it is a comment meant to get a point across with. 

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miss2017

miss2017

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2 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

It lacked tact, class, common SENSE, etc....but what the poster said above about GUYS saying dumb things is a HUGE generalization JMO.  I honestly believe the guy was "sending" a message of sorts with the bikni comment.  I am sure the LS Dictionary has a term for it but it is a comment meant to get a point across with. 

Yes, it felt like ‘hey don’t get fat because that’s not what I like’.

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

It lacked tact, class, common SENSE, etc....but what the poster said above about GUYS saying dumb things is a HUGE generalization JMO.  I honestly believe the guy was "sending" a message of sorts with the bikni comment.  I am sure the LS Dictionary has a term for it but it is a comment meant to get a point across with. 

I said some guys simp, NOT all, did you miss that? 

MY experience. 

I don't like generalizations either, which is why I made a point to word it the way I did. 

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simpycurious

simpycurious

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5 minutes ago, miss2017 said:

Yes, it felt like ‘hey don’t get fat because that’s not what I like’.

It's psychological in nature.  To make a point without being direct and coming to the point.. ACCEPT SOMEONE FOR WHO THEY ARE and NOT WHO YOU WANT THEM TO BE

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miss2017

miss2017

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But you know what was the worse part for me? 
When I once said to him I used to be skinny and miserable, and he didn’t give a rats ars* to that.

Someone who is sensitive and aware would understand from what I said that this is not something to joke with.

But he just ignored it and once again after a few days made another remark about getting fat and the bikini.

Sad to say the least.

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miss2017

miss2017

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5 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

It's psychological in nature.  To make a point without being direct and coming to the point.. ACCEPT SOMEONE FOR WHO THEY ARE and NOT WHO YOU WANT THEM TO BE

It sounds like manipulation the ‘make a point without being direct’. Good riddance!

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nospam99

nospam99

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preraph said ''For what? So that she can pork some 70 year old dude?''

More likely so she can pork some younger dude ;)

She passes my 66 y/o standard. But she did when we were both 15, too :D (LOL ... no, not an ex, just a classmate who's a good example of age being just a number)

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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18 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

It's psychological in nature.  To make a point without being direct and coming to the point.. ACCEPT SOMEONE FOR WHO THEY ARE and NOT WHO YOU WANT THEM TO BE

I agree with you, but to add, if you cannot accept someone for who they are, don't meet and move on.

And it goes both ways. 

We shouldn't be forced to accept something or someone that's not to our liking, and if we can't, that's OK, wish them well and move on.

Which I think is what should happen here for both of them.

Problems arise when trying to fit a round peg into a square hole, it simply cannot be done..

Next.

 

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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10 minutes ago, miss2017 said:

It sounds like manipulation the ‘make a point without being direct’. Good riddance!

I think it's called passive/aggressive. 

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basil67

basil67

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I think it's more than passive aggression.  To me, it pushes the line towards control.  

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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5 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I think it's more than passive aggression.  To me, it pushes the line towards control.  

True, but no one can control us unless we allow them to.

Which Miss2017 is not allowing by nexting this guy,  good for her.

Another woman might have a different way of handling such control or potential control, which is okay too.

Imo it's too early to know for sure.

 

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simpycurious

simpycurious

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3 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I think it's more than passive aggression.  To me, it pushes the line towards control.  

Yep Basil.....control.  You "eat too much" and "no bikini" then no me (him in this case).  Isn't that "FearMonger Speak"?? 

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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Just now, preraph said:

Naive women can easily fall into the control trap. It takes a certain knowledge to know not to allow that. 

Agree!! 

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basil67

basil67

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Just now, simpycurious said:

Yep Basil.....control.  You "eat too much" and "no bikini" then no me (him in this case).  Isn't that "FearMonger Speak"?? 

I was thinking more about being the Food Police.....and probably Exercise Police too.  

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simpycurious

simpycurious

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1 minute ago, basil67 said:

I was thinking more about being the Food Police.....and probably Exercise Police too.  

LOL...I could make some sports correlations but I like yours Basil.....I get your point

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Malin889

Malin889

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, preraph said:

He is offensive.  Don't go out with him.  What a jackass.  He's not right for you.  Find a guy in real life instead of OLD who likes you for who you are.  These idiots on OLD think it should be like a catalog they can order a hot body from.  Idiots.  

YES! This is the best description I've heard about online dating! They do think it's a catalog they can order from. It's disgusting. You have no idea some of the things that have been said to me. And honestly, most of these guys say things that they would NEVER say to your face, just because they think they can. 

He is a complete jerk, block him. He does not deserve your time. If he says things like this now before he's even met you, imagine what he will say when he actually dates you. He's already making you feel like crap, what's next?  He is abusive. 

And something else - never become Facebook friends with someone you are just talking to online and have not met yet. He does not need to see your personal life, pictures of your friends, your family, etc before he's even met you. Keep yourself safe. Block him from FB as well. Please.

Edited by Malin889
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Malin889

Malin889

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2 hours ago, miss2017 said:

But you know what was the worse part for me? 
When I once said to him I used to be skinny and miserable, and he didn’t give a rats ars* to that.

Someone who is sensitive and aware would understand from what I said that this is not something to joke with.

But he just ignored it and once again after a few days made another remark about getting fat and the bikini.

Sad to say the least.

What does HE look like??? Ugh. What a jerk

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miss2017

miss2017

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8 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Agree!! 

On that controlling and passive/aggressive note, he told me this story about a girl he went on a date with:

They were already friends before, so he picked her up to go to a restaurant have dinner.

When they got there, she started paying more attention to what was going on on the TV there than talking to him.

Instead of being honest with her and saying to her something like ‘I don’t think is nice you are watching the TV and not talking to me’, no instead he preferred to start making fun of her and the TV show she was watching in a nasty way. Yes, controlling and passive aggressive!

He got her pis*** off and she said for him to stop doing that or she’ll get mad, to which he responded ‘ok just take an Uber back home then’!

He said he ended up driving her back home but they never saw each other again.

Yes watching the TV whilst on a restaurant with someone is bad, but he could just have been honest instead of starting to make fun of her and use passive aggressive tactics.

 

 

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miss2017

miss2017

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7 hours ago, Malin889 said:

What does HE look like??? Ugh. What a jerk

Funny that on his Facebook all his full body photos are from 2 years ago. He doesn’t have any current full body photos of himself. Maybe he is really fat!

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