Jim23 Posted April 13, 2020 Posted April 13, 2020 In January my girlfriend dumped me. He ex husband lied to her saying that I had been texting my ex girlfriend who we all know and chasing her while I was with my new girlfriend. I haven't seen or communicated once with my ex and this is a complete pack of lies. The problem is my girlfriend believed her ex husband and dumped me for 2 weeks. She kept texting throughout mainly to make me feel bad and then two weeks later we got back together. The problem is now that I still feel really angry that she believed her ex husband over me and negative about our relationship. It feels like a huge betrayal. She says she wasn't in a good place at the time and as she's been cheated on before (repeatedly by the same douche ex husband who tried to break us up ) it messed her head up. I really love this girl but I feel hurt that she dumped me and doubly hurt that she chose to believe her ex husbands lies against me. She now wants us to move on with our lives. She's talking about moving in together but I'm not on the same page anymore. The issue is I'm scared to move on now with her. Can this work out? 1
d0nnivain Posted April 13, 2020 Posted April 13, 2020 It could work out IF you want it to but it's equally valid for you to be done. Once broken trust is hard to regain. At minimum, you can't push the accelerator on your relationship right now. If you are ever going to fix things it will have to be slowly at your pace. It will take time for you to again believe that she won't go running at the next sign of trouble. Because the break up was only 2 weeks & you were in touch the whole time I'd be willing to give it a shot & use this as her "one bite at the apple". If you get back together OK fine but if she pulls this garbage again -- believing her gas lighting EX over you -- that has to be the end of the relationship. Unless they share kids I'd be concerned that she's dating you but talking to him on any level.
Marc878 Posted April 13, 2020 Posted April 13, 2020 You were/are a rebound. You’ll never have a relationship with an x in the mix. She’s still carrying a torch for her x. Dump her quick and move on. 1
mark clemson Posted April 13, 2020 Posted April 13, 2020 You feel how you feel. There's absolutely no need to force yourself to be with her if you don't like her anymore after this - it's completely understandable. Who knows what this (apparently orbiting) ex is up to? Does he want her back or is it just spite? Doesn't really matter, until she learns to keep him at arms length he'll probably just keep interfering for whatever weird reasons he may have. Who needs all that cr*ppola/drama. There are many other fish in the sea, no?
kendahke Posted April 14, 2020 Posted April 14, 2020 (edited) 12 hours ago, Jim23 said: two weeks later we got back together. The problem is now that I still feel really angry that she believed her ex husband over me and negative about our relationship. It feels like a huge betrayal. Then why are you with her? What's the point? She's proved where her loyalties lie and they aren't with you. Quote She now wants us to move on with our lives. She's talking about moving in together but I'm not on the same page anymore. No. Let her go back to the ex she's more loyal to since that is what she first reached for instead of believing you. And why is she still talking to her ex in a way that he is so easily able to plant lies in her ears and she believes a liar? You need to run, s0n. Quote The issue is I'm scared to move on now with her. Can this work out? o_o -_- O_o What do you think? Anything done with fear as its basis has no hope of a good outcome. Cut your losses. She's shown you exactly who she is and what she is capable of doing. Screw what she's saying--she's doing damage control. She threw you over for a lying ex that she believed over you. She's not in a bad place---that's what she is. Edited April 14, 2020 by kendahke
schlumpy Posted April 14, 2020 Posted April 14, 2020 Why is she in contact with her ex husband? I don't see any mention of children. Are they still settling their legal difficulties or still in the process of getting a divorce? How is her ex getting information on you? What is his connection to your life that she would believe what he had to say? Were you close friends at one time? The relationship circle here seems mighty small.
Author Jim23 Posted April 14, 2020 Author Posted April 14, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, schlumpy said: Why is she in contact with her ex husband? I don't see any mention of children. Are they still settling their legal difficulties or still in the process of getting a divorce? How is her ex getting information on you? What is his connection to your life that she would believe what he had to say? Were you close friends at one time? The relationship circle here seems mighty small. They have a son together. He is friends with my ex girlfriend and slept with her before we met. My girlfriend hates my ex girlfriend so it was malicious and untrue information to get at both me and get at her. It worked on her. I have kept my cool throughout but feel very angry about it all inside as its all lies and designed to create problems in our relationship. It hurts that my girlfriend would believe it because her ex and my ex are well known liars and cheats. Edited April 14, 2020 by Jim23
Mystery4u Posted April 14, 2020 Posted April 14, 2020 1 hour ago, Jim23 said: They have a son together. He is friends with my ex girlfriend and slept with her before we met. My girlfriend hates my ex girlfriend so it was malicious and untrue information to get at both me and get at her. It worked on her. I have kept my cool throughout but feel very angry about it all inside as its all lies and designed to create problems in our relationship. It hurts that my girlfriend would believe it because her ex and my ex are well known liars and cheats. So why are you even still with her? She did you a favour by breaking up with you the first time - she showed what kind of person she is, one that believes an ex husband over her current boyfriend. Have some self respect and break up with her for good. 1
Marc878 Posted April 14, 2020 Posted April 14, 2020 1 hour ago, Jim23 said: They have a son together. He is friends with my ex girlfriend and slept with her before we met. My girlfriend hates my ex girlfriend so it was malicious and untrue information to get at both me and get at her. It worked on her. I have kept my cool throughout but feel very angry about it all inside as its all lies and designed to create problems in our relationship. It hurts that my girlfriend would believe it because her ex and my ex are well known liars and cheats. She’s shown you she has more to do with her x than you. Bud, this is on her. You aren’t losing much. Move on or more later.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 15, 2020 Posted April 15, 2020 I would end it with her. She prioritizes her ex over you. That's all there is to it. Maybe she wanted to try things again with him and it didn't work out so she's bouncing back to you. Whatever the case may be, she doesn't respect you very much and this is not the foundation to build a healthy and stable relationship.
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