guest Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 So, this girl and I were friends at work for two years. She had a boyrfriend, but she started flirting with me a lot. We became friends and flirted back and forth quite a bit. About six months ago things started escalating. She started asking me out to the movies, we started talking on IM a lot, hanging out at her place, etc. About two months ago she tells me that she's had a huge crush on me for two years. I told her that I already pretty much already knew. I mean, everybody could tell. And I told her that I had a crush on her too. We said we wanted to be together and she broke up with her boyfriends a couple of days later. Long story short, I screwed up I guess. I had a lot of expectations for this. She apparently didn't really want a relationship at the time, but just wanted to start dating me a little bit. I felt like we had kind of already gone through the whole "getting to know each other a little" phase. I mean, we had been friends for two years. But apparently I was wrong. I started getting kind of whiny and needy. She told me that I started acting like a different person, which I guess I did, but I was already in a depressed mood and felt like she was rejecting me. She finally said "Let's just start over as friends". I took this really hard and kept saying and doing stupid stuff. Eventually, she started dating this other guy that she seems to really like. I've asked her if there is ever a chance that we could ever try things again and she said there's "no chance". I told her not to close the book on me, and that I'm not trying to mess up what she's got now, just that if she finds herself single at some point (in six months, in one year, whatever) to at least reconsider me. We're still friends and she occasionally flirts with me like she used to. I'm trying to "move on" because I know that it probably won't ever happen. But, does anyone at least think there's a possibility? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 I see no reason for you to not to move on. That would be the very best thing for you to do. There is absolutely no chance she'll come back to you while you are in this emotional state. Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 I told her not to close the book on me, and that I'm not trying to mess up what she's got now, just that if she finds herself single at some point (in six months, in one year, whatever) to at least reconsider me. I'm trying to "move on" because I know that it probably won't ever happen. But, does anyone at least think there's a possibility? Following up on what LB said, there is no possibility right now given the way you're acting. You're practically begging this girl "hey if you are EVER single in the next year please go out with me!" that sounds really desperate and clingy. Now, the only way you WILL have a chance is if you start going out with other women. If she sees "hey...maybe he got his act together now and all these girls are flocking to him, maybe I missed something." THAT'S how you get a second chance. The catch to that is if you're going out with other girls you will probably forget about this one and not even want a second opportunity. But anyways, you need to move on...and quickly. Right now you're not in a good state and in no way is she attracted to that at this point. PS - Stop hanging out with her and don't talk with her much. Don't be rude, keep conversation polite and cordial but that's it. If you keep hanging around her she'll know she still has you...and you will be setting yourself up for emotional hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
fundamental Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 I agree with Blue and LB... listen to them. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 This is sort of an update on my situation. I would appreciate any help or responses. I recently found out that she still has this silly little drawing I did to cheer her up one day at work several months ago. She has it in her work apron and it is something that she could have easily thrown away dozens of times. I'm not saying this means that she still has feelings for me or anything, but it's kind of confusing as to why she would keep this. Also, I told her about this coffee house performance thing I'm doing with a friend this weekend, and she got real excited about it and basically forced me to let her go. The weird thing is, she doesn't talk to me any outside of work and acts kind of moody around me sometimes. There are days I can't tell if she really wants to be friends, or if she's just being nice. There are times when we don't get along at all, and then times when it's really great. And then she does stuff like this. What's the deal? Link to post Share on other sites
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