Questionmark12 Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 Hi everyone, I guess I would love some advice on my situation. I was dealing with an ex that had addictions and our break up was horrible. My latest thread sums the situation up so you can read it in detail there if you'd like. I've had some time to give everything a place and I am doing much better at the moment. I have some moments where I get anxious but no attacks anymore luckily. I've been seeing a therapist as well do deal with my anxiety. I've had some time to reflect on our relationship and realized I was together with someone who was incredible insecure and put up a facade of this secure man when he wasn't. I don't hold any grudge against him anymore. At the moment I still have him blocked on WhatsApp and was thinking about unblocking him. Yes he hurt me but I don't want something negative to linger around especially during these unique times. Would it make sense to unblock him? Link to post Share on other sites
alakhiin Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 At this point Question mark you've made substantial progress in yourself. To continue to involve this man in your life will run the risk that in turn you fall back into old habits and allow negative, damaging thoughts to return. I don't want to see you suffer from panic attacks again, I've had them and caused them. So, I know how bad they are. These are unique times, but I would suggest you remain strong and if you ever do decide to let this person back into your life, you do so on your terms and keep him at arms length. You've made progress, he has to as well for this to be worthwhile for you. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 4 hours ago, Questionmark12 said: Would it make sense to unblock him? If your counselor and you think this would help you move on from the past then you can do it. I would recommend that you wait until you are no longer are thinking about him or particularly care what he thinks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 4 hours ago, Questionmark12 said: I was dealing with an ex that had addictions and our break up was horrible. I've had some time to reflect on our relationship and realized I was together with someone who was incredible insecure and put up a facade of this secure man when he wasn't. I don't hold any grudge against him anymore. I've been seeing a therapist as well do deal with my anxiety. At the moment I still have him blocked on WhatsApp and was thinking about unblocking him. Yes he hurt me but I don't want something negative to linger around especially during these unique times. Would it make sense to unblock him? No, not if he hasn't gone through therapy to address his addiction and issues, too. If he hasn't, keep him blocked. You're just wanting to go wade back into that cesspool you made an entire thread about leaving and we have to wonder why? It's not negativity at all-- that's that part of you that's addicted to his drama wanting to lead you back into that fray. What does your therapist say? You may still need more time to work more things out in therapy before you can begin talking to him again and not get caught in his undertow. If he hasn't done anything, leave him alone and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 He may have had "addictions" too but he was gay and he dumped you. You can't "solve" that. Block or unblock him who cares? Just make sure you keep walking away in the opposite direction... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 15, 2020 Share Posted April 15, 2020 Unblocking him yields what positive benefit for you, exactly? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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