How do I regain motivation about life?

[Feelingdownandhopeless]

I’m a widow but always try to stay optimistic. This quarantine and virus outbreak has gotten to me. I often feel nauseous and very tired. I don’t believe I’m physically ill but very depressed. One of my adult kids lost their job and it seems I’m more worried than she is. I’m still working remotely but don’t know if the work will continue long term. I used to enjoy seeing my boyfriend on weekends but even when I see him I feel numb much of the time and anxious. I often want to stay in bed and not walk which I used to enjoy. 
I feel exhausted and defeated. 
I know this will end but I’m not sure what collateral damage there will be. 
What ideas does anyone have!

[Ellener]

1 hour ago, Feelingdownandhopeless said:

I’m a widow but always try to stay optimistic. This quarantine and virus outbreak has gotten to me. I often feel nauseous and very tired. I don’t believe I’m physically ill but very depressed. One of my adult kids lost their job and it seems I’m more worried than she is. I’m still working remotely but don’t know if the work will continue long term. I used to enjoy seeing my boyfriend on weekends but even when I see him I feel numb much of the time and anxious. I often want to stay in bed and not walk which I used to enjoy. 
I feel exhausted and defeated. 
I know this will end but I’m not sure what collateral damage there will be. 
What ideas does anyone have!

In order to cultivate resilience we need to be able to let go the negatives in a situation we can't change- compartmentalise them- and develop the positives.

In this situation it's just way bigger than anything most of us ever dealt with so the first thing is compartmentalise: limit news watching, allow yourself ten minutes a day for worrying, and above all do self-care things in a routine. Write it down if it helps, journal. What makes work more fun, what's your home working routine, make a little attractive work-station or have special cups of tea or regular snacks etc.

Diet, exercise, contact with others. Spiritual practice if you have one; if not explore or develop one. Creative activities. Playful stuff.

What small things always make you smile, make you feel good inside, raise your spirits? Do them.

Comedy, poetry, go outside and listen to the birds, cook...definitely walk, make yourself, little and often. If I can't be motivated to walk I lift little weights or do chair-pushups to tone up the tops of my arms! 

Every little positive adds up.

Finally seek our positive people ( your daughter sounds like she is ) and positive online resources and inspirational rather than gloomy stories.

 

 

Edited April 14, 2020 by Ellener
spelling

[Redhead14]

48 minutes ago, Feelingdownandhopeless said:

I’m a widow but always try to stay optimistic. This quarantine and virus outbreak has gotten to me. I often feel nauseous and very tired. I don’t believe I’m physically ill but very depressed. One of my adult kids lost their job and it seems I’m more worried than she is. I’m still working remotely but don’t know if the work will continue long term. I used to enjoy seeing my boyfriend on weekends but even when I see him I feel numb much of the time and anxious. I often want to stay in bed and not walk which I used to enjoy. 
I feel exhausted and defeated. 
I know this will end but I’m not sure what collateral damage there will be. 
What ideas does anyone have!

It's very important for you to maintain a healthy and positive state of mind, if not for yourself, for your daughter and your boyfriend.  I don't want my children or my SO to be worrying about me and seeing me lose myself in a state of depression.  I want to be strong for them and be in a position to be helpful to them if they need anything.  It would really stink if things became really bad and they were burdened with a mom/girlfriend who wasn't "pulling" her weight and being constructive and supportive.  Even though our kids are adults, they still look to us for strength. 

Do little nice things for yourself everyday -- a nice cup of tea outside in a lawn chair if its nice out, a nice relaxing bath, pull out all the old photos you may have tucked away and make an album for your daughter.  Force yourself to go out for a walk each day even if it's a short one.  Just do it.  Call your daughter each night for a few minutes to say goodnight if nothing else.  Go online and see if you can find some crafts to order and do.  They are limited, but I've been able to find a few and dropped them off for each of my kids -- puzzles, hook rugs, etc.  Make your daughter's favorite meal and drop it off to her if she's close by.  You don't have to go in.  Just put it on the porch or at the door and let her know it's coming.  Little things are important now.

And, remember, this too shall pass and you need to be clear headed and prepared to move forward when that happens.  I once told my kids that if the SHTF, I want to be John Connor's mom!

 

Edited April 14, 2020 by Redhead14

[Foxhall]

try and push yourself back into the walking routine, better for the soul to be out in the nature and fresh air,

then try and find an indoor activity to motivate you for an hour or two,

something I am starting tomorrow is an online writing course- that will occupy my wednesday.

[schlumpy]

If you have never had this symptomology before I would blame it on the lockdown and then try to find something new to do. My approach would be to read some books I had always wanted to read but demanded too much time.

Look around the house for a project that needs to be done. There's always something that needs straightening.

Take a good look at the all the paraphernalia you've collected over the years and if you haven't used it or worn it in the last ten years get rid of it. Making space is good way to feel you've accomplished something.

If these symptoms are familiar then I would suggest you consult with your doctor for some chemical help.