Never Trumper friend

[preraph]

So I'm a registered Dem.  I was even a Hillary delegate in 2008.  But they've gone too far left for, and I won't be voting that way anytime soon.  

So one of my oldest friends, who I am in very frequent communication with, I love her to death, but she is a complainer.  She complains about everyone, and she knows she does.  Especially employers.  Always has.  Cup half empty.  It's just her personality. 

So I don't know when she became politically radicalized, but she did.  I think it's because of her crazy SIL, who I haven't heard one good thing about yet.  But doesn't matter how, I guess.  So we followed each other on Twitter couple years ago and quickly stopped because different political views.  She posted stuff from the looniest of the bunch.  I post things and crime and supporting police and K9s and ICE and border control because that's my hot issue.  But mostly I just post photos of cute animals.  I really don't post anything too directly political, just retweeting crime stuff, which includes everything including border stuff (I'm in Texas so that's what most of the crime is).  

So we quit following each other.  Quietly.  Then sometime later, SHE writes some nasty histrionic ill-informed rant on Trump in an email and I just gave a short statement back, not arguing, just something that showed I didn't agree and so she wrote back, "I don't think we should talk about politics anymore."  Well, I wasn't to begin with. She always started it.  She can dish it out but can't take anyone disagreeing.  She's just one of the majority of Americans who treat politics like a football game where you take sides except she's naturally hot-headed so it gets ugly.  

 

So that went okay for awhile, no political talk.  But now in the last 2 weeks, she's thrown the T word around twice in emails to me, and today's ridiculous,  not to mention hypocritical, about she hated to cash the stimulus check because he signed it.  GAWD.  Knowing that the left "news" stations haven't been bothering to air most of Trump's coronavirus daily press conferences because they're making his approval ratings soar, I just mentioned that he'd been doing daily 1-2 hour press conferences and this was an awful thing for any leader to have to deal with and I felt he was doing the best he can.  I know she's going to get in a huff about it. 

I really don't know what to say if she comes back all crazy on me.  Any ideas?   

[K.K.]

Man, this is a hard one. Lately my blood has been boiling dealing with this same thing. What me and my friends (that think differently) did or do is that we just don’t speak of any political s*** whatsoever. Because it’s gonna go bad if we do. A few of them I like enough to play blissfully ignorant. But if I don’t and they start s*** talking, at this point... I’m like block me bitch. Ugh. Don’t get me started. 😁 

If she’s a true friend, she’ll agree to disagree with you preraph. But I know the kind you speak of so I’m going to say that her politics will win out over your friendship. And in that case, Good Riddance!! 

[preraph]

Oh, I just won't let her go.  We've been friends for 40 years.  But she is so hot-headed about everything, not just politics.  She always thinks someone is being stupid or unfair to her at work.  And sometimes they are, to be fair, but I mean, she knows she complains about everyone she's ever worked with (I used to work with her 40 years ago).  I'm afraid SHE will get in a huff and leave, but it's her causing the problem.  

 

Oh, I also told her when she said that this morning, "I can't believe you get so worked up about Trump."  Jeez.  I mean, really, she is like a boiler ready to go off about him at any given minute, I guess.  It's crazy to get that nuts about it.  

 

I guess if she pops off about my comments, I'll just tell her, Hey, you're the one who said let's not talk politics, and then it's always you who brings it up.  I feel like telling her, Hey, when I'm talking politics, you'll know it.  

Edited April 15, 2020 by preraph

[K.K.]

1 minute ago, preraph said:

I'm afraid SHE will get in a huff and leave, but it's her causing the problem.  

Awww 😞 I hope not then. You obviously care about her a lot. And she must have a lot of redeeming qualities to stay friends that long. Like good sense! Maybe she’ll come around one of these days and not be so upset or confrontational about it. It’s a sore subject that’s for sure. It’s tricky. 

[preraph]

Thanks, KK.  I always just like to have fun with my friends.  My local friend, who I guess is my best friend, we talk a little about it and she is very altruistic and left.  Last I checked, she was socialist.  But we don't make it a big point of contention.  I have changed her mind about ICE.  Most people don't know what they do (international warrants -- people wanted from different countries jurisdictions who may have fled here).  Anyway, yeah, it can be a problem.  

[Shanex]

I have no big advices to give on this except that nowadays politics can indeed ruin friendships or relationships. It seems easy to just pull the "we're friends, no politics" card unless one becomes too opinionated and start pissing everybody off. I've lost "friends" about it and they certainly weren't really close if I had chosen a different candidate and dared vocalize my thought after a drink or two and they decided to ditch me. I don't care. Live a happy life, and stay out of these little drama as much as possible.

 

 

Edited April 15, 2020 by Shanex

[Woggle]

Just agree to disagree with her. If she can't do that then I don't know what to say.

[preraph]

Well, she just went off, spouted a bunch of propaganda, and used capital letters. I told her, "May I remind you that it was YOU who said 'let's not talk politics' but you keep bringing it up.  There are plenty of other people you can go off about it to, but I'm not letting disagreements over politics ruin any of my friendships.'

[preraph]

Just now, Woggle said:

Just agree to disagree with her. If she can't do that then I don't know what to say.

Yeah, I agree that would be logical!  But she apparently doesn't like that.  Hah.

[Ellener]

In England we used to have a rule, don't discuss religion or politics.

To be honest I think if politics is so important to a person that they will argue to the death of a friendship about it then that person ( and probably the other person ) might need to work on the idea of what friendship is.

There are boundaries.

Too often people are just venting their spleen but the emotions unleashed and lack of consideration for the other person in that moment are what is unacceptable.

I am working on staying calm since Harvey and the last thing I need to de-rail my day or my mood is someone ranting.

@preraph Just ignore her.

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, preraph said:

I'm a registered Dem.  I was even a Hillary delegate in 2008.  But they've gone too far left for, and I won't be voting that way anytime soon.

Yeah me too Preraph, I was a life long democrat until the last election and I just couldn't stomach them anymore.  Most of my family and friends are Dems too and it hasn't been easy at all dealing with them.  They are stuck on stupid.

[Watercolors]

I ended a friendship with a woman over her veganism when she wrote on my Facebook wall that all meat eaters are morons. 

You have to know when to draw the line with people. Since you've been friends with her for 40 years, her rants about Trump shouldn't bother you so much since she's always been a hot head as long as you've known her. 

Just let it go and chalk it up to accepting that's who she is and how she'll respond to anything politically related. No use pointing out to her that her rant is ridiculous. 

[Ellener]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

Yeah me too Preraph, I was a life long democrat until the last election and I just couldn't stomach them anymore.  Most of my family and friends are Dems too and it hasn't been easy at all dealing with them.  They are stuck on stupid.

People are too hung up on factions and labels. 

Give me proper healthcare and a safe decent standard of pay and living and the politicians can call themself whatever they like...they all seem to be cut from the same overpriced cloth...💸

[Watercolors]

Like Ellener pointed out, if you have to argue nonstop about politics, the issue isn't political as much as its about the health of that friendship. 

[preraph]

To be fair, I've always voted a mixed ticket because I will always vote for someone tough on crime and most Dems just aren't, and certainly not now that they're trying to get votes.  You have to go back to Bill Clinton to find a president Dem who supported police and was concerned about crime and speak out about it. 

But I vote for some Dems still, but probably not much next time.  I voted for one who did a bunch of work and succeeded in getting old rape kits tested and funded. 

Edited April 15, 2020 by preraph

[Cookiesandough]

My ex was like this. They despise him so nothing he does will ever be right/enough. It's all emotion.I don't try reasoning with people like this. If they talk politics just change the subject or be like "I don't really feel like talking about this right now" All you can do.

Edited April 15, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Woggle]

Some anti-trump people see it as a character test to the point where if you support him or don't even hate him as much as they do then you are a bad person. They view his supporters as complicit and therefor are as bad as he is. 

[Ellener]

1 hour ago, Woggle said:

a character test

and friends don't need to be testing each other's 'character'...

[preraph]

Yeah, you can't even have a rational argument with someone who just clings to the propaganda and their own bias confirmation and doesn't care about any facts.  She is just hot-headed.  Being that worked up is just a good way to give yourself a stroke.

[Piddy]

Yeah, you cant talk politics if you disagree about politics right now.  Too polarizing.  Nobody is changing there mind here.   I've been a political junkie forever and people have a hard and fast stand on politics right now. 

  It's kind of like looking at one of those pictures where half the people see a gold dress and half see a blue dress.  The gold dress people can't see the blue dress and vice versa.  In that case there's no need to talk about dresses.😉  Nobody is changing their mind.

Find a subject that isn't as polarizing and if you can't then move on.

Edited April 15, 2020 by Piddy

[Ellener]

1 hour ago, preraph said:

have a rational argument

I think too many relationships are built on insubstantial back and forths between two people so that if one changes at all the whole relationship falters.

What's that old saying if you love someone let them go...see if they come back type idea.

 

[preraph]

If she writes back and still hasn't calmed down, I'm going to just say nothing else of pertinence and say, "Girl, you're going to give yourself a stroke over this crap.  It's not worth it."

[Ellener]

1 hour ago, Piddy said:

there's no need to talk about dresses.😉

see I read that as Piddy 'coming out'...🤣 sorry honey, I'm in a weird mood today...

[mrs rubble]

It's amazing the number of people who argue over Trump, and his politics. I happened to mention that I didn't think he was doing a great job with covid, and an American friend came back with a big rant about me hating Trump and turning it political, it was not political at all, I was genuinely concerned for the USA and public health. I don't understand how your politics even work over there! Also currently my Father in law and brother in law are not talking to each other over a difference of opinion's with the way Trump has handled things. It's just ridiculous.

 

[preraph]

By the way, the stuff she spewed when she wrote back was the same stuff that was debunked with videos pretty thoroughly two days ago.  With emotional uninformed propaganzied people like her, it doesn't matter if he brought everyone back to life, she still wouldn't have anything but bile to say.  NOt saying there aren't some of those on both sides of the coin....

Edited April 15, 2020 by preraph