Tinalove Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 Hi all!! I'm havin a bad day and really need help! I'm soooooo jealous! My boyfriend is so great that we rarely spend any time apart, which we both love and we have the most loving relationship ever. I could never have dreamed to meet a man like this! Only, when we are apart i am jealous. I have such low self esteem that i never believe that he misses me and am always accusing him of having a better time without me! I think deep down i know none of this is true, but it absolutly eats me up inside! He has gone off to a football match with a friend today and i am soo happy for him, because i know he is really looking forward to it, but last night we ended up in a big row about him not missing me. Then i end up feeling guilty that i may have ruined his day! Please help! I dont know what to do any more! My self esteem is so low and i dont know how to build it back up! Thanks xx Link to post Share on other sites
Hunny Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 Ok first thing is first. Do you go out without him? how does he feel when and if you do so? Do you have any hobbies that are different from one anothers? Do you feel that he's better than you and you dont deserve him? All these questions need answering before you can go any further. On the arguing point, my friend always argues with her bf when he wants to go out so now he has resulted to going out without telling her. You certainly dont want this to happen so be thankful that he's telling you and you know its YOU he's coming home to. Thirdly, the self esteem thing, is there things about yourself you want to change? (not for him for YOU) Then do it!! Join a pole dancing class, salsa, yoga anything that will help you feel empowering and lots of dancing makes you feel sexy as well as keeping fit. Give it a go.. Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 you can build your self-esteem up by being gracious about his going out, and not making a scene about it. if you handle it well, will you feel better about yourself? i think your jealousy stems from being too dependent on him. ultimately your clingy, controlling behaviour could drive him away. you are right about low self-esteem. Hunny is right, you need to develop a bit of independence and some esteem-building activities. your boyfriend has every right to go off to the football with his friends and not agonize over missing you. being so intensely wrapped up in each other doesn't last. it is called fusion. the relationship that survives this stage is one that acknowledges you are in fact TWO SEPARATE people who share a lot, and it is not threatened by independent activities provided the trust level is good. do you have low self-esteem in other areas of your life? breaking this pattern of behaviour will take a concerted effort, and some insight. read up on the subject. that's always really helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
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