sammy29 Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 My boyfriend of a year broke up with me in October, and we haven't really spoken since except for a message to say Merry Christmas and the fact he always likes my social media posts. I was in his town in March and bumped into him in the street and suggested we went for coffee which we did and was really nice. Immediately afterwards he messaged to say he'd love to do it again whenever I'm next in town and I agreed. We continue messaging and he reveals he is 'seeing someone' but we carry on chatting replying to each other every 24 hours but have been messaging consistently for a month now. Thing is three days ago he posted a load of photos with his new girlfriend (something he never did with me) and its become clear they've been together since about a month after the breakup and are much more serious than I realised. However the ex is still finding random reasons to message me and I'm not sure what he's up to. Is it just that he feels bad knowing those pictures with his new gf would upset me? Does he genuinely want to be friends? Or is he using me because he's lonely (she lives abroad outside of term time and term has ended due to the pandemic so they likely won't see each other for a while)? In all honesty I do still have feelings for him and ultimately would like to get back together with him. I would love some advice as to where his head is at and how to negotiate this situation because I do still like him. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 Well if he's posting a gang of pictures of her his feelings are still with her. I think he is using you to decrease his loneliness until she returns. You should step away and cease contact if you feel yourself getting attached again because you'll end up hurt. If he were trying to be with you again he wouldn't have posted her pictures. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 You should not try to be friends with EX until all your romantic feelings have turned to indifference. Cease contact. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 Because you still like him the minute you found out he had a new GF you needed to disconnect on social media. He's either a cad, willing to cheat on her, or he just wants to "be friends" which is something you can't emotionally handle now because you still want him. So protect yourself by disconnecting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 (edited) Send the texts to his new girlfriend and tell her to tighten up the leash. Quote In all honesty I do still have feelings for him and ultimately would like to get back together with him. I would love some advice as to where his head is at and how to negotiate this situation because I do still like him. Negotiate your way out of this. He's got a girlfriend he's serious enough about to be posting pics of them on social media--and you aren't the one. Get your feelings for him under control with the help of a therapist if needs be. If you were his current girlfriend that he's quite serious about, would you appreciate an orbiter trying to break you two up? Edited April 22, 2020 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted April 27, 2020 Share Posted April 27, 2020 Once you said that his GF lives abroad, that explains it all. I think he's hanging out with you because maybe he's hoping for the possibility of hooking up. He's looking for some companionship since he can't see his GF in person. If he was actually interested in you, he wouldn't have this other GF at all and he wouldn't be posting pictures of her. You say that you have feelings for him. Why are you doing this to yourself? Don't waste your time. He has a GF and you are not his priority. You won't get what you want out of this. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 Because you still like him I don't think you should keep contact. You should let him know your intentions for meeting up and speaking recently have been to see if you can re-establish a relationship. That's only fair. If he is not on the same page, don't feel embarrassed..you tried, he obviously likes you at least as a friend, but you just don't want the same things. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 On 4/16/2020 at 8:25 AM, d0nnivain said: Because you still like him the minute you found out he had a new GF you needed to disconnect on social media. He's either a cad, willing to cheat on her, or he just wants to "be friends" which is something you can't emotionally handle now because you still want him. So protect yourself by disconnecting. This AND... do the decent thing and not get involved while he is in a relationship. Your actions are always affecting the other woman, gf who likely has no idea that he is meeting with his ex (that still has feelings for him). Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts