Dimjo9 Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 3 hours ago, MrsAnonymous said: I'm in corporate and I have a respectful role at the firm I work in. I do traveling and my secret man travels with me as well. He wants us to spend the night together in his hotel room. This man makes me so beautiful and I don't believe he'll leave me. At the same time, I need to be there for my grandchildren and I don't know what's going to happen with my husband. This is just so confusing with so many mixed emotions, I tell myself have sex this once then leave it at that but I end up saying that over and over. I've sent him nudes and it has my face! How can I delete them? At the time I didn't care but now he has a clip of me giving him oral and telling him how nice he tastes along with pics This is a mess! Your role in the firm won’t matter u are disposable so is your OM.. soon u will find yourself in the gutter.. The pictures that u sent & the other with a heavy sexual tone will hunt u for life.. We must have a sense of decency & courtesy in us.. Why don’t u tell your H everything? Give him your affair timeline.. He will bleed, cry.. in the end he will be triumphant.. i really pity your situation if u only can see the future.. 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 (edited) Well, be carful with the nude photos, once you press send it could end up on the internet for all to see. You may not want this but the AP spouse will have no reason not to post them when caught. Never, Never send anything that you wouldn’t want on the front of a news paper. Revenge is served without your consent. Do you want to stop the A for your adopted children sake, BS sake, or so you don’t loose your job? Again you have never expressed any affection for your grandchildren or BS, just POS. To stop the A, you have to go NC, can you resign or are you too selfish to do that? By being in daily contact, travelling together, the A will never stop until the big thermal nuclear release of Discovery. Then it will be how can I limit the damage during the D. one day at a time Buffer Edited April 22, 2020 by Buffer Tablet spelling is possessed by the devil Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 This guy couldn't be more dangerous to you if he had gone skinny dipping in a vat of anthrax, and the worst part? You seem to be asking for it! You say how attracted you are to tihs guy, but even your gut knows you can't trust him. You're worried about the risque photos? That, right there, is a sure sign you know he doesn't love you at all. If he did. you'd know you could trust him. You know you can't. Please, really think about what you are doing . If this blows up, the ones who will be hurt the most are you husband/grandkids. you may have egg on your face, but they'll be wounded to their core. Please ask yourself why you feel it's safe to ask them to assume that risk and not even know they're doing it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 (edited) 14 hours ago, MrsAnonymous said: I've sent him nudes and it has my face! How can I delete them? At the time I didn't care but now he has a clip of me giving him oral and telling him how nice he tastes along with pics This is a mess! Well, the horse has left the barn... You can’t get those videos back. You just better hope that he doesn’t share them, with your employer, your husband, on the internet. The stress of that would certainly take the shine off this relationship for me. He now holds your whole life in his hands... It is a mess! Edited April 22, 2020 by BaileyB 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 A little attention..... and you have found yourself in this mess that it doesn't really seem you want to get out of. Work on your self-esteem. On your weakness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 My advice. Get your ducks in a row, so you are prepared for divorce and for the fall out if your affair and those videos/pics ever come to light. Men tend not to forgive cheating wives easily. It may never happen, but you need to be prepared. See a lawyer, check out your rights and protect your assets. As for your grandchildren you need to consider worst case scenario, your husband withdraws his help all together... how will you cope? My guess the office Lothario will disappear as soon as the affair becomes general knowledge, so do not rely on his support. I know you are in Lala land at the moment, but you need to start facing reality, so you are prepared for anything. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 15 hours ago, MrsAnonymous said: I'm in corporate and I have a respectful role at the firm I work in. I do traveling and my secret man travels with me as well. He wants us to spend the night together in his hotel room. This man makes me so beautiful and I don't believe he'll leave me. At the same time, I need to be there for my grandchildren and I don't know what's going to happen with my husband. This is just so confusing with so many mixed emotions, I tell myself have sex this once then leave it at that but I end up saying that over and over. I've sent him nudes and it has my face! How can I delete them? At the time I didn't care but now he has a clip of me giving him oral and telling him how nice he tastes along with pics This is a mess! You should start checking the porn sites. I am willing to bet your are the new amateur porn....... Run you pic on a facial recognition app. You will be able to see it your video is out there. Also, I don’t put it past him showing his friends the video. I have seen guys like him bragging about getting them and showing them off. You should hear how guys talk about a woman in your position, it isn’t flattering. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: As for your grandchildren you need to consider worst case scenario, your husband withdraws his help all together... Or, they live with your husband and you get visitation rights. Worst case scenario, you lose custody of those children. Edited April 22, 2020 by BaileyB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 I agree with the advice to start prepping for divorce court. Along with everything else he's going through your husband would have to politely ask this guy to delete photos and videos of you?? On 4/20/2020 at 7:54 PM, Buffer said: I cannot see this ending well for you. Ditto that. This has major trainwreck written all over it. Seriously, you will have no one to blame when your life blows up but yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
colingrant Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 (edited) You're in really deep. You have the opportunity to stop and go in reverse, but you don't have the physical and emotional will to do so because of the pleasure you're experiencing. As is often the case, with extreme pleasure has a cost and that cost is often extreme pain. The totality of the pain experienced by you and your husband, will in a collateralize way, extend to other family members, emotionally and financially. Infidelity is like an emotional ecosystem,where a bunch of emotional ties that are nearly invisible by the inhabitants, are intertwined and impacted. The unfaithful one doesn't even acknowledge these possibilities because they're so enthralled in there own pleasure. Then it all comes home to roost. If there's one common theme among posts in this thread, is that the train collision is forthcoming. It could be next week, month or next year, but few to a bunch of people will have hell to pay. Your hands will have blood on them. Worst case scenario Divorce (perhaps not worst for you, but worse for family foundation which extends beyond you) Grandchildren are caught up in a compromised family stability that no longer exists Pornographic like public exposure of you on your knees playing hide the sausage Your lover blackmailing you due to having the pictures. Your husband notifying HR which results in both of you getting fired and sued for improper use of company funds. It could be just one on that list or a couple. Either way, the total destruction will be significant. The best case scenario is you confess, your husband rug sweeps and your lover continues to use you, which actually only delays the bombs from being dropped. Bottom line is you're in trouble. Big time. Question is, do you have the heart and soul to protect your family or continue the weakness that protects you and your lover. Edited April 22, 2020 by colingrant Link to post Share on other sites
colingrant Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 Forgot to add, the greatest atrocity by far is if you're physically seeing your lover in ANY capacity, during this period, you are exposing your entire family to the Corona-virus. I'm not sure a greater measure of selfishness and disrespect towards your family can possibly be rendered. Disregarding there safety for your personal pleasure is as unforgivable as any transgression I've read on any infidelity site at any time. The potential cost ranges from significant health issues to death, for everyone in your household. It would be a conscious decision where you choose you and your lover over the safety of your family. You are already making this decision, but in this current climate, it extends to physical health that could possibly lead to death. You're in so deep though, I'm not sure this will move you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 BTW, should it come to this, one thing that might help you out would be revenge porn laws. IF you found out pics/videos were posted without your consent, you could threaten and/or prosecute. That's assuming your jurisdiction has these laws - I believe most do. Please don't read this and think "whew, I guess things are ok now" or similar. They're not even remotely ok. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 Yes. she may end up on a porn site but I have a feeling bragging about it and showing it to his friends and fellow coworkers may be more likely and probably more damaging. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 3 hours ago, elaine567 said: Yes. she may end up on a porn site but I have a feeling bragging about it and showing it to his friends and fellow coworkers may be more likely and probably more damaging. We agree 110% on this one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 3 hours ago, mark clemson said: BTW, should it come to this, one thing that might help you out would be revenge porn laws. IF you found out pics/videos were posted without your consent, you could threaten and/or prosecute. That's assuming your jurisdiction has these laws - I believe most do. Please don't read this and think "whew, I guess things are ok now" or similar. They're not even remotely ok. That law is fuzzy from state to state. I know several States would do nothing about him posting those videos because her sending them to him is considered consent. Problem is even if that is the case and he could be prosecuted, that does nothing towards actually having the videos removed. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
colingrant Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, elaine567 said: Yes. she may end up on a porn site but I have a feeling bragging about it and showing it to his friends and fellow coworkers may be more likely and probably more damaging. Good point. This is 10 times more likely. MrsAnonymous, you will know if pics have circulated in your company. As a man, this is how it goes. If you walk in a meeting room, cafeteria, or social setting where your coworkers are, and you see 2 or 3 men talking in a group, take a brief glance at you simultaneously, then there's a good chance they're talking about you. This is the response of 20-30 year olds, which I presume are the ages of your kids. Older married men will pretend to not notice you, but actually know about you. When a man has a woman under their spell at work, like your lover has you, their ego can't control their mouth, so they "talk" to those they think are discreet. The discreet ones have good intentions, but that goes out the window after a martini or two after work. Additionally, if you're asked to hang with the fella's after work or while on a trip, there's a decent chance they're trying to get there turn at bat. Edited April 23, 2020 by colingrant 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 On 4/16/2020 at 2:14 PM, MrsAnonymous said: Hi all, My husband and I have been married for 20 years. During our marriage, my self esteem has gone down and I didn't feel wanted at times. I've met this amazing man at work. He's funny, compliments me, amazing sex and I just feel so wanted being around him but I know what I'm doing is wrong. Any other women on here cheating and can give me advice on how to overcome my feelings for this new man. Thanks I had a different post, but thought better of it. Just to be clear, as people are often not, you want advice on how to overcome your feeling FOR this man to STOP the affair, right? Knowing it is wrong is not enough. Or are you asking for advice on how to overcome your guilt FOR this man to continue the affair? Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 13 hours ago, DKT3 said: That law is fuzzy from state to state. I know several States would do nothing about him posting those videos because her sending them to him is considered consent. Problem is even if that is the case and he could be prosecuted, that does nothing towards actually having the videos removed. It would likely draw even more attention to her situation. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 OP, what is it about this guy that has you so willing to risk your "life" (if you know what I mean)? what makes him worth it, to you? Is he even worth it at all? When it comes right down to it, you're willing to risk so much for what amounts to a roll in the hay every now and again. I'm no expert on human nature, but in my experience, people who have lived their lives, been monogamous for many years and been fine with that don't suddenly start stepping out just for sex, especially when it's a wife, just to get their jollies. There's usually (but not always) some sort of driving force behind it. What do you think is at the root of all of this? Is it really "this guy" , or is it something else, something in you? Of course, one of this excuses your actions, but maybe if you can understand their basis, you can sort this out. You sound like an intelligent, accomplished professional who can handle many stressful situations with relative ease. What the frig is going on here? Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 Is this an exit affair? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 (edited) 21 hours ago, DKT3 said: That law is fuzzy from state to state. I know several States would do nothing about him posting those videos because her sending them to him is considered consent. Problem is even if that is the case and he could be prosecuted, that does nothing towards actually having the videos removed. Let's face it, if it ever gets to this point it's already too late. It's going to be a nuclear grade disaster zone whatever happens. The OP's husband and who knows how many other people will know her private business, her personal and business reputation may never recover. Edited April 23, 2020 by Amethyst68 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 On 4/20/2020 at 10:15 PM, MrsAnonymous said: Thanks for your responses I can't get over this new man, I want to stop this but as soon as we talk all I want to do is be alone with him. We ended up having sex at work and I had the use the morning after pill because I was so turned on, I didn't care we weren't using a condom. My husband suspects something and I do want to end this with the other man but I've never felt this feeling before Does this man truly love me? He tells me he'll do anything for me and a queen deserves to be treated better. I hope he's not just feeding me this for sex..... I so confused and unsure if what I get from him is real or still it just fade away after a while You must be a very young grandmother to still be needing the morning after pill... Apart from that, it doesn't look like you're after any specific advice, so I suppose make the most of it - it's about to get bumpy (no, not the sex). Suggestion: tell him you're leaving your H for him this weekend, and watch how this unfolds. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Dimjo9 Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 13 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said: You must be a very young grandmother to still be needing the morning after pill... Apart from that, it doesn't look like you're after any specific advice, so I suppose make the most of it - it's about to get bumpy (no, not the sex). Suggestion: tell him you're leaving your H for him this weekend, and watch how this unfolds. So true.. if she only can see the future !! The after effect is not worth it at all .. she should have talk with H & sort things out ( the grass is not greener on the other side ) 😂😂😂 Link to post Share on other sites
Dimjo9 Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 2 hours ago, Amethyst68 said: Let's face it, if it ever gets to this point it's already too late. It's going to be a nuclear grade disaster zone whatever happens. The OP's husband and who knows how many other people will know her private business, her personal and business reputation may never recover. Her professional & personal life is on the line😂.. This is not worth even a dime..she will soon be an island.. the H & grandkids, family will move on without her.. Career wise the hard work over the years & corporate climbing will be back to 0.. This will be for the OM too.. it takes 2 to Tango !! Link to post Share on other sites
Dimjo9 Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 11 hours ago, pepperbird said: OP, what is it about this guy that has you so willing to risk your "life" (if you know what I mean)? what makes him worth it, to you? Is he even worth it at all? When it comes right down to it, you're willing to risk so much for what amounts to a roll in the hay every now and again. I'm no expert on human nature, but in my experience, people who have lived their lives, been monogamous for many years and been fine with that don't suddenly start stepping out just for sex, especially when it's a wife, just to get their jollies. There's usually (but not always) some sort of driving force behind it. What do you think is at the root of all of this? Is it really "this guy" , or is it something else, something in you? Of course, one of this excuses your actions, but maybe if you can understand their basis, you can sort this out. You sound like an intelligent, accomplished professional who can handle many stressful situations with relative ease. What the frig is going on here? When we gamble we do it calculated & gradual at some point win/lose we stop.. She’s “ALL iN”.. stake everything Career, Reputation, Family into a single bet.. Since I started reading threads to better myself i have yet to see a WS ended happily ever after.. Many are haunted for life.. even in sleep no place to go !! 😭😭😭 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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