Navigating COVID

[OatsAndHall]

15 hours ago, gamon said:

I think you need to be more understanding about how your girlfriend is being affected by this completely unexpected unprecedented global crisis that will change life for all of us in one way or another.

 

I believe that I have been more than understanding in this situation. I can handle a certain level of venting but I don't think most people could deal with this elevated of negativity on a daily basis. Especially when I have asked that we both find ways to make our time apart easier, instead of ruminating on us not being able to see one another. Yes, these are stressful times but it's in everyone's best interest if they find SOME positive ways to cope with it.

And, as I told her, I do wonder if she's just going to pull the plug when she is ruminating about how hard this is. I miss her terribly and would do just about anything to see her but I am choosing to be grateful to I have her in my life. Versus solely focusing on the negative aspects of this situation. At least find a happy medium; vent but still express how wonderful it is to still have each other.

[poppyfields]

Hey OatsandHall, after reading all your posts, I'm getting the distinct sense that after 4-5 months dating, your're realizing this girl and this relationship may not be right for you. 

Nevermind covid, if it weren't that, it would be something else, guaranteed.  I mean what the heck did she do before you came along?  

There's missing your partner and then there's her, crying in her beer to you about anything and everything, even before this crisis.

She sounds self-centered -- me, me, me, does she not realize that you have your own issues to deal with too? 

Not to mention the thousands upon thousands of others who actually have the virus and/or who have lost loved ones and are not even able to grieve properly due to the lockdown? 

And she's whining to you ad nauseam because she won't see you for 5 weeks?

She needs to grow up, and get an effin grip on life, seriously.

This is her nature oats -- needy, whiny, emotionally selfish and you should NOT have to tell or remind your partner how to "not" be those things, they either are or they're not and she IS.

You're just seeing it now due to corona, but like I said if it wasn't corona, guarantee it would be something else.

I loved chili's post, his gf sounds like an absolute gem!  

These are tough times for "everyone," we're all in this together, find someone who recognizes that versus burdening her partner (you) with her own personal self-centered neuroses.

You don't need anyone's permission oats, if it doesn't feel good or right for you, wish her well and walk away, which is where I sense you're leaning anyway, otherwise this thread wouldn't exist.

Hang in, take care and stay safe!! 

Edited April 18, 2020 by poppyfields

[contel3]

I can understand where both of you are coming from. 

I am just taking a guess, but maybe you trying to be her rock is what exacerbates her reaction even more. Sometimes, when you complain about a situation to someone and the person doesn't seem upset it can make you feel alone in what you're experiencing….it makes you wonder why you are the only one having such overwhelming feelings. 

I've been having a hard time with Corona, and while I try not to dump my feelings on others I know it has been easier for me to talk to people who are also sharing their struggles. When I am on the phone with friends who don't seem affected, it makes me wonder why I'm not able to do the same. When I talk to friends tell me about their struggles, I calm down in a matter of minutes and go into "lets fix this together" mode.

Maybe if you explain that not talking about it is your way of coping and not getting overwhelmed, she will understand better and calm down.