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Am I missing a spark or the sparkplug?


Confused

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I am 25 and have been dating my current girlfriend (27) for about 8 months. Everything is great and I am very happy with her, but I am having one problem that I can't seem to get over.

 

I am not as easily turned on as I used to be. Once we get into bed and things get going I am fine (i.e. no need for Viagra)...things usually will last for several hours and the sex is phenomenal. My problem is that I just don't want to "jump her" like I used to. I feel no desire to go at it in a car, or a bathroom of a bar or a kitchen table like she does. I would chalk this up to me being less sexually adventurous, but I used to be this way myself and would like to find that part of me again.

 

Some contributing factors might include: recently quitting smoking (she still does), much more responsibility at work, just plain getting older (i.e. not partying and drinking nearly as much as I used to)?

 

Any suggestions out there?

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There is simply no injection or medication to renew enthusiasm.

 

It could be that after eight months together, you simply aren't as excitable as you were earlier in the relationship. Job stress, the quitting of cigarettes, etc., may have affected your libido in some ways but I doubt it.

 

There is a definite possiblity that there is a subconscious thing going here because your lady has not stopped smoking. This is a very strong habit and stopping takes incredible power of mind. You may have some real subconscious frustration with her inability to cease smoking like you did.

 

Humans go through constant chemical, biological and psychological changes. I think it will take some new techniques and strategies in sexuality on the part of both you and your girlfriend to renew that old fizzle.

 

Meanwhile, don't worry about it. If John Bobbitt can get his penis back, you probably aren't in all that much trouble yourself.

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i would say the contributing factors you mentioned could well be part of the reason you have a low libido at the moment, but i would think it is more likely that your "honeymoon" period is over and you just don't get the same urges as you used to! this sort of thing happens to everyone after a while, but if you are satisfied with everything else in the relationship and the sex continues to be "phenomenal", i wouldn't worry about it at all. get yourself some vitamins!

 

meanwhile, why don't you go for it in the car again? you never know what you might feel until you try it!

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