Does God allow remarriage in this situation.

[Knightman]

My wife and I agreed to start legal proceedings for a legal seperation and I moved out of the home in the meantime. After I left but before the legal separation was filed and signed I entered into a sexual relationship with a woman, who I now wish to marry, and my (now former) wife and I divorced. I entered the new relationship knowing my wife and I had decided to end our marriage (of 25 years btw) and we (former wife and I) were never together sexually after I left the home, and frankly weren’t sexual for years before either (because of her refusal not mine). I have stopped being sexual (repenting from fornication) with the new woman however I wish to marry her. Would this new marriage be allowed/blessed  by God?

 

[Knightman]

BTW I asked a similar question a couple of years ago however reposting here in as simple of terms as possible.

[major_merrick]

The way I understand it, since you've had sex with this woman and you are already divorced, you SHOULD marry her.  God probably wouldn't be happy with you if you didn't, as marriage is kind of a "fix" for the sin of premarital sex. 

And if your ex-wife refused to have sex with you, she broke part of the marriage covenant before you ever divorced.  It isn't clear from your original post who filed for the divorce, but it seems like you were more of a victim of the situation than she was. That didn't make the divorce God's ideal plan for either of you (God prefers reconciliation,) but God is merciful and wants us to recover from our mistakes and learn from them.  God does not expect you to remain a "victim" or be single for the rest of your life.  If you trust in Jesus for your salvation, you can rest assured that you are already forgiven for the sins you committed. 

So yes, I believe your upcoming marriage will be permitted and blessed by God....and in fact would be commanded by Him as you are already "one flesh" due to the sex.  I believe that God will honor your desire to walk in righteousness, as evidenced by ceasing premarital sexual contact.  Remember the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery?  He told her, "Go...and sin no more."  You've acknowledged your faults and repented, and you're working on sanctification.  Good for you!  Make sure that you explain your beliefs to your new partner, and indicate that you want this next marriage to be FOR LIFE the way God intends.  I'm assuming she's also a believer?  Then go ahead and marry ASAP with full confidence in God. 

Edited April 19, 2020 by major_merrick

[healing light]

I don't see why God would have an issue with you marrying this new woman. At least my concept of God wouldn't, if you truly love her and wish to be married to her.

[Justanaverageguy]

Didn't see you mention it but I assume from what you have written you are Christian. Please correct me if I am wrong. Will answer from this perspective. So I guess there are a couple of ways to look at this. First: What does God desire ? Then what does god allow. And then following this maybe the most important part - why does he desire / allow these ?

First on what does God desire. If you take the bible Matthew 19 Jesus speaks on the topic of divorce specifically. He makes it clear that when two people are married - through sexual relations they become energetically bonded together. 2 become 1. For this reason Jesus states that divorce - for any reason other then sexual immorality - is not what God wants or desires. Its against Gods will for mankind. But he does also go onto say Moses allowed divorce ..... basically because we humans are flawed and the alternative of trying to force two people who had grown not only to stop loving each other but to potentially immensely dislike each other to stay together was worse then the alternative. So basically he says God does not like divorce at all - its not his will for mankind. But tolerates it as a last last resort due to humanitys nature. I think tolerate would be the right word to use. 

With that covered - the important aspect to understand is why God dislikes this so much. Because effectively when you take another partner - you then "mix" the bloodlines again. Now instead of two bloodlines converging to 1 - your have a third and if your wife takes another partner you have a 4th. If you or her take numerous other partners you may have 5 or 6 or 7 bloodlines and lineages being mixed. You and your extended family will now be influenced not just by your exwifes family history .... but your second wifes family history and also if your wife takes a new husband .... or lovers ..... their family history. It starts to stack up and you personally aren't in control of whats being introduced into your blood line.

Now bloodlines today might seems like an outdated concept - but it was basically the most important point in Jewish / Christian scripture. Jesus blood is considered sacred for a reason. Maybe today you would use the term spiritual "Energy"  rather then blood line to try to explain the same concept.  The energetic result of a person and their family lineages past actions is carried in their blood and through sexual relations and close contact this is exchanged between two people. If you divorce and remarry -  there is potential for unclean / sinful energy to be introduced to your own outside of your own control. If your wife marries another man - she makes the decision on who that is. But that decision will have flow on effects to you and your children and wider family through the energetic links formed from your past marriage. 

In the Jewish teaching this is why they were required to marry within the faith. While divorce wasn't encouraged if it happened it needed to remain within the faith to ensure there was a certain level of cleanliness in the energetic family lines to prevent toxic damaging energy being introduced. You having already chosen to divorce the partners you and your ex wives choose - have the potential to impact you greatly so its important if you proceed with remarriage the people are selected carefully and they follow the same religious, ethics morals etc and then recommit to the goal of sustaining a healthy monogamous marriage going forward. 

Edited April 20, 2020 by Justanaverageguy

[SumGuy]

I wouldn't seek advice on religion from LS.  If you are a member of an organized religion this is a question they are certain to have an answer on.

However, if you are looking for an personal take...I was raised Christian, and the core aspects I hold onto are actually part of Judaism as well I am told...and to my understanding they are not in conflict with any major religion. 

In short, don't place the material world, status, pride (that includes self-righteousness), etc. above doing what is right, and in particular above treating those around you with love and understanding and especially those who are the least of us.  In your situation, my belief is god would be OK with your marriage and even sex if the sex arose from true love and boding leading to marriage.  I don't believe that god requires specific forms like marriage for sex to be acceptable, it is just that god knows us and forms such as marriage hopefully make us pause and think about what the relationship is really about.   Of course YMMV.