No contact for a week, shall I reach out?

[miranda561]

22 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

I was not implying that you were boring....sorry if it came across as such.  I was just making a general comment. 

No worries

[Redhead14]

19 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Well i only came back on here to reply to someone who asked what was going on not to seek advice.  In essence letting it die.

Also if you or i aren't that special..then no one is technically. I dont think i remember saying i think hes not talking to anyone  else...i just said at the time its not feasible to have three hour conversations with every woman on the planet.

Anyway regardless ...now he may be. Since neither him or i have contacted the other. 

In all fairness..we've had weeks/months go by in between and its been cool again. Usually because i've let time go by.

With all due respect please don't imply im hanging on to hope of him. I know how these things work. 

Thanks i guess 

 

 

 

In those 3 hours, an invitation to dinner never came up or shortly thereafter???  Its not the 3-hour conversation that says anything real about his level of interest.  Its what he does after that that counts. 

[miranda561]

4 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

In those 3 hours, an invitation to dinner never came up or shortly thereafter???  Its not the 3-hour conversation that says anything real about his level of interest.  Its what he does after that that counts. 

 

4 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

In those 3 hours, an invitation to dinner never came up or shortly thereafter???  Its not the 3-hour conversation that says anything real about his level of interest.  Its what he does after that that counts. 

If you read  the original post. He did ask if i want to see him.. to which i said i dont mind if i do. 

Following that he asked for another photo. 

I didn't send another. ..and  now its been some time since then 

Edited May 22, 2020 by miranda561

[Redhead14]

7 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

 

If you read  the original post. He did ask if i want to see him.. to which i said i dont mind if i do. 

Following that he asked for another photo. 

I didn't send another. ..and  now its been some time since then 

That wasn't an invitation.  What he did was insulting and I would have dropped this one like a hot potato.  "Do you want to see me".  OK.  Let me see a another picture of you before I decide to make real plans".  Ugh.  He doesn't have much "style" that's for sure.

Edited May 22, 2020 by Redhead14

[miranda561]

7 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

That wasn't an invitation.  What he did was insulting and I would have dropped this one like a hot potato.  "Do you want to see me".  OK.  Let me see a another picture of you before I decide to make real plans".  Ugh.  He doesn't have much "style" that's for sure.

To be honest he's done that before as well. 😂. As in asked to meet but needed another photo first. But to this day i didnt send another one.

For some reason he seems to think im a catfish🤔.. 

I dunno why. I sent him one pic and he said im attractive. But he needs another picture. I guess women do tend to send more than one pic but still 😂

Edited May 22, 2020 by miranda561

[Redhead14]

4 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

To be honest he's done that before as well. 😂. As in asked to meet but needed another photo first.

For some reason he seems to think im a catfish🤔.. 

I dunno why. I sent him one pic and he said im attractive. But he needs another picture. I guess women do tend to send more than one pic but still 😂

He did that more than once and didn't following through with an invitation?  A picture isn't going to prove or indicate whether a woman is a catfish or not . . . he's trying to decide if you're F-able.  If you keep complying with that request, the type of photo request may change if you get my drift.

Edited May 22, 2020 by Redhead14

[miranda561]

5 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

He did that more than once and didn't following through with an invitation?  A picture isn't going to prove or indicate whether a woman is a catfish or not . . . he's trying to decide if you're F-able.  If you keep complying with that request, the type of photo request may change if you get my drift.

I mean its all up for debate but he's always been looking for a  serious relationship from the start. We stopped talking because he thought  i was treating him like a pen pal and wasnt interested in him seriously.

I have no idea. But he mentioned picture and then catfish. How his friend was catfished once.

He said to me he will need to vet me before he meets 😂😂. That was a long time ago..

[miranda561]

12 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

He did that more than once and didn't following through with an invitation?  A picture isn't going to prove or indicate whether a woman is a catfish or not . . . he's trying to decide if you're F-able.  If you keep complying with that request, the type of photo request may change if you get my drift.

I never complied. He still only has one photo of me lol.

Btw. He saw my whatsapp profile photo..its me as a kid. And he said why dont you change that (trying to see another pic im guessing).  i was like no why would i change it..and he said you sound nervous 😂. Implying  the catfish thing again. Ive never found anyone to be that suspicious. 

 

Edited May 22, 2020 by miranda561

[Redhead14]

Well, if you're not giving him enough to let him know you're really interested and he's so paranoid about being catfished, then I'd say this thing was never going anywhere.  Cut your losses and find someone who sparks your interest to the point of being clear to the other person.  If you are wishy washy about someone, it comes across in ways you don't realize and by the same token, if you're really interested in someone, they will know it or have a better clue at least.

Edited May 22, 2020 by Redhead14

[miranda561]

6 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

Well, if you're not giving him enough to let him know you're really interested and he's so paranoid about being catfished, then I'd say this thing was never going anywhere.  Cut your losses and find someone who sparks your interest to the point of being clear to the other person.  If you are wishy washy about someone, it comes across in ways you don't realize and by the same token, if you're really interested in someone, they will know it or have a better clue at least.

True. I mean i was interested but i just didnt want to have to go above and beyond. It sounds silly. But even sending him an extra  picture. 

I think it comes  across like im uninterested in him. Which is maybe why he would ask me if hes my type and if i like him all the time

Edited May 22, 2020 by miranda561

[Redhead14]

10 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

True. I mean i was interested but i just didnt want to have to go above and beyond. It sounds silly. But even sending him an extra  picture. 

I think it comes  across like im uninterested in him. Which is maybe why he would ask me if hes my type and if i like him all the time

Ya know, two people can spend months communicating over the internet or by phone, etc. but you cannot know for sure if that person will "do it" for you until you spend some face to face quality time together.  Its a waste of time and emotion to drag it out before you meet someone.  There is little invested if you get that over with quickly.  Have a cup of coffee or a couple of drinks and hors d' oeuvres and then decide if you want a real date and/or more.  This guy was making so much more difficult than it needed to be.  If you were a catfish, you'd be the one dodging a face to face meet up.

Edited May 22, 2020 by Redhead14

[miranda561]

3 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

Ya know, two people can spend months communicating over the internet or by phone, etc. but you cannot know for sure if that person will "do it" for you until you spend some face to face quality time together.  Its a waste of time and emotion to drag it out before you meet someone.  There is little invested if you get that over with quickly.  Have a cup of coffee or a couple of drinks and hors d' oeuvres and then decide if you want a real date and/or more.  This guy was making so much more difficult than it needed to be.  If you were a catfish, you'd be the one dodging a face to face meet up. 

This is accurate. I think now hes deffo going to think im not bothered about meeting..since to him it may appear like ive ghosted again. 🤔 its been a month now. 

Thr coffee will have to wait for a bit though..since nothing is open and lockdown is still going on in my area 🤔

 

[Redhead14]

13 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

This is accurate. I think now hes deffo going to think im not bothered about meeting..since to him it may appear like ive ghosted again. 🤔 its been a month now. 

Thr coffee will have to wait for a bit though..since nothing is open and lockdown is still going on in my area 🤔

 

Sweetie.  He hasn't reached out either.   So who ghosted who?  Don't chase this guy. 

Edited May 22, 2020 by Redhead14

[miranda561]

13 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

Sweetie.  He hasn't reached out either.   So who ghosted who?  Don't chase this guy. 

No  but i mean. I have a history of doing it.  Not because i don't want to be in contact but i get so busy with other things. Plus i haven't been with anyone for a while and just got used to the single life. I even told him that once. Since hes been in more commitments  than i have

Like he showed or shows interest..i won't reciprocate or comes across half hearted...and yeah just lose contact. 

Edited May 22, 2020 by miranda561

[poppyfields]

52 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

I think now hes deffo going to think im not bothered about meeting..since to him it may appear like ive ghosted again. 🤔 its been a month now. 

This^ is you creating a scenario in your mind as a way to self-soothe his rejection.   miranda, he simply lost interest, if he ever was.

"Do you want to see me"?  "Send me another photo."  This was insulting!  Ugh.

Where did you ever learn that this means he is asking you out and interested in you?  Wow.

No, no, no.  He's an ego-driven asshat who gets off on believing he's god's gift to womankind, and on women wanting him and chasing him.

IF (massive if) he had been interested and wanting to go out with you, HE would have asked to see you, NOT asked if YOU wanted to see him! 

And then asked for another photo, as if his decision to agree to YOU wanting to see him was contingent upon whether or not he found the photo attractive enough. 

Or he was trying to play the dominant card (and failing miserably). 

Guy is an self-absorbed ego-maniac.  I agree he probably wanted you to chase, but not because he was interested in you or because he's insecure.  Or because he thought you were a catfish. 

Far from.  

I am sorry miranda, but I do believe you were played. 

Let this thread die and go to the back of the line.  LS is a very popular forum, I would hate to have him find it, he'd most likely be laughing at how obsessed you have become about him.

And yes a 10-page thread about a man you have never even met would qualify as an obsession imo.

I'm sorry miranda and best to you moving forward.  

 

 

Edited May 22, 2020 by poppyfields

[simpycurious]

1 hour ago, miranda561 said:

I mean its all up for debate but he's always been looking for a  serious relationship from the start. We stopped talking because he thought  i was treating him like a pen pal and wasnt interested in him seriously.

I have no idea. But he mentioned picture and then catfish. How his friend was catfished once.

He said to me he will need to vet me before he meets 😂😂. That was a long time ago..

Needs to VET YOU?  Is this guy DRAFTING a new player or something with a background check, your 40 time, your vertical jump, etc?  This guy really does seem like a major TOOL and not a good one. 

[miranda561]

26 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

This^ is you creating a scenario in your mind as a way to self-soothe his rejection.   miranda, he simply lost interest, if he ever was.

"Do you want to see me"?  "Send me another photo."  This was insulting!  Ugh.

Where did you ever learn that this means he is asking you out and interested in you?  Wow.

No, no, no.  He's an ego-driven asshat who gets off on believing he's god's gift to womankind, and on women wanting him and chasing him.

IF (massive if) he had been interested and wanting to go out with you, HE would have asked to see you, NOT asked if YOU want to see him! 

And then asked for another photo, as if his decision to agree to YOU wanting to see him is contingent upon whether or not he finds the photo attractive enough. 

Or he was trying to play the dominant card (and failing miserably). 

Guy is an self-absorbed ego-maniac.  I agree he probably wanted you to chase, but not because he was interested in you or because he's insecure.  Or because he thought you were a catfish. 

Far from.  

I am sorry miranda, but I do believe you were played. 

Let this thread die and go to the back of the line.  LS is a very popular forum, I would hate to have him find it, he'd most likely be laughing at how obsessed you have become about him.

And yes a 10-page thread about a man you have never even met would qualify as an obsession imo.

I'm sorry miranda and best to you moving forward.  

 

 

Alright  calm down poppy! Its become ten pages since ive been replying back to people commenting. The ten pages isnt me talking to myself. Not really asking about him.

And you've changed the narrative a couple of times since the thread started. At the beginning you were saying im used to getting male attention and so im not going to put in work etc etc..to suddenly im dying for the guy. 

And what i said about what he may be thinking was simply my opinion of the overall situation. Theres a lot i haven't put on up here. A lot you dont even know. Youre just getting a  small picture and generalizing from what ive  said on here.

 

Anyway it is what it is.. you're  going to think what  youre going to think. And contrary to those opinions if i was that invested..Maybe i would have tried harder? And not let him potentially be snapped up by other women?  Not be like oh yeh he may be speaking to others by now. Go figure!!

I know youre probably coming from a good place..but i did feel like i had to defend myself a bit there

Edited May 22, 2020 by miranda561

[Realitysux]

18 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

This^ is you creating a scenario in your mind as a way to self-soothe his rejection.   miranda, he simply lost interest, if he ever was.

"Do you want to see me"?  "Send me another photo."  This was insulting!  Ugh.

Where did you ever learn that this means he is asking you out and interested in you?  Wow.

No, no, no.  He's an ego-driven asshat who gets off on believing he's god's gift to womankind, and on women wanting him and chasing him.

IF (massive if) he had been interested and wanting to go out with you, HE would have asked to see you, NOT asked if YOU wanted to see him! 

And then asked for another photo, as if his decision to agree to YOU wanting to see him was contingent upon whether or not he found the photo attractive enough. 

Or he was trying to play the dominant card (and failing miserably). 

Guy is an self-absorbed ego-maniac.  I agree he probably wanted you to chase, but not because he was interested in you or because he's insecure.  Or because he thought you were a catfish. 

Far from.  

I am sorry miranda, but I do believe you were played. 

Let this thread die and go to the back of the line.  LS is a very popular forum, I would hate to have him find it, he'd most likely be laughing at how obsessed you have become about him.

And yes a 10-page thread about a man you have never even met would qualify as an obsession imo.

I'm sorry miranda and best to you moving forward.  

 

 

I'm confused. I've been getting my hopes up about seeing someone again and then I read this and thought maybe I am in the same boat. 

[stillafool]

21 hours ago, miranda561 said:

This guy would say he wants me to call him more often. Well anyway  at that particular time i wasn't calling him like he wanted and then he gave up. And said "i knew things wouldn't go anywhere with us".. 

I was the furthest from clingy and needy. I even said maybe you need a clingy woman..and I'm not that  to which he replied clingy women scare him. 😂

To me this is just bs.  If he wants to talk to you why can't he call you rather than asking you to call him.  If he wants you he needs to act like it.

[poppyfields]

miranda, my earlier comments were before the additional info or I missed some things and went back for a second read. 

I do stick with my thought you were played OR he tried to play you, but YOU smart lady didnt let him!

I just don't want you to think you did anything wrong by not being more responsive or enthusiastic. 

You had not even met, of course your guard was up!  Mine would be too! 

What did he expect?  That you were gonna fall all over yourself simply because he asked if you wanted to see him?  

No, perhaps HE should get over himself.  Lol

I think you did good, you held your own, did not allow yourself to get too invested or played. 

And I take my obsession comment back, you are right, you were simply replying to our responses. 

Please don't feel guilty, you're you and guy couldn't hang with it. 

In my book, that would be a good riddance. 

Edited May 22, 2020 by poppyfields

[miranda561]

8 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

I'm confused. I've been getting my hopes up about seeing someone again and then I read this and thought maybe I am in the same boat. 

Not everyone's situation is going to be the same there are a tonne of variables. 

You just have to use logic/intuition and analyse as a whole. 

[Realitysux]

2 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Not everyone's situation is going to be the same there are a tonne of variables. 

You just have to use logic/intuition and analyse as a whole. 

Screw that. I read a ton and I'm going to stop reading immediately and find out for myself. I have to find out from a man directly either by his actions or words. I've been a coward and haven't found out for myself. What do I have to loose? If he says no then he says no. 

Edited May 22, 2020 by Realitysux

[poppyfields]

As a side, don't ya just love all the emojis?  Who needs to leave a comment, when all they have to do is click on an emoji!

I especially love the "shocked" emoji, it amazes me what some people find shocking these days.  Xd.

Edited May 22, 2020 by poppyfields

[simpycurious]

13 minutes ago, stillafool said:

To me this is just bs.  If he wants to talk to you why can't he call you rather than asking you to call him.  If he wants you he needs to act like it.

This^^^^.....it really is that simple IMO.  Actions Speak Louder Than Words.  

[Redhead14]

4 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

Screw that. I read a ton and I'm going to stop reading immediately and find out for myself. I have to find out from a man directly either by his actions or words. I've been a coward and haven't found out for myself. What do I have to loose? If he says no then he says no. 

The words and actions need to match. If there are only words and no action, the guy isn't all that interested or sincere, etc.  If a guy is short on words but behaving in a manner that shows what you need, you can trust that. 

But, you're right, he can only say no.