Found Tinder on My Girlfriends Phone

[missingmybaby]

Firstly thanks you for taking the time to read my post and hopefully help with my issue

 

Some background, been together for 3 years (not married) and lived together for 18 months. I have children from a previous relationship. They come to stay with us every other weekend.

 

Last Friday I had been out for most of the day at work whereas she was home alone and in the evening I was upstairs doing some housework when I heard her phone ping as it was on charge in our bedroom. It pinged with a unfamiliar sound, I’m used to the whatsapp, instagram twitter sounds but this was different. My intuition told me to have a look, so I pressed the lock button on her phone (Huawei p20) and saw she had lots of different notifications from various apps. However what caught my eye was drawn to what I am 75% sure was the TINDER logo! I couldn’t see the actually content of the message because of the facial recognition on the phone but there was two notifications from what I believe was TINDER.

 

I then took myself off and looked at the logo and did some googling on it to be sure I was correct. After doing this I was 90% sure it definitely was Tinder. I then decided to unlock her phone (yes I no, not great) and see if I could locate the app on her phone as the notifications had dissapered with other apps notifications taking there place but there was still a “logo” on the top bar. I failed to find the app on her phone, even after checking folders she had. However my thoughts on this is that she wouldn’t be as so stupid to have it there on her screen if she was being secretive.

 

I spoke to my friend about this and he offered to set up a fake tinder account to see if she was on there on several different locations but couldn’t locate her. I know for a fact she used to use Tinder before we met so used to have a profile which I’m guessing could be easily reactivated. I have never used tinder nor a Huawei phone so anyone that has both who could potentially help with what a notification looks like would be amazing???!!!

 

My problem is that I am so sure that it was tinder I saw and feel like I should approach her on the matter but I am confident she will deny it. She could have downloaded the app and since deleted it? So therefore me asking and her showing me her phone would therefore show nothing and I also know with Huawei phone there is the option to “hide” certain apps.

 

Any thoughts on how to go about this would be really appreciative.

[preraph]

If she doesn't even have the app, I wouldn't worry about it.  Could be left over from a long time ago or something.  Chill.  

[schlumpy]

Do not confront unless you have evidence that cannot be challenged. Take this as warning sign and investigate more deeply.

Others on the forum have experience with Tinder. I have none but it is my understanding that once these apps have your information they will notify you of a hit even if you've deleted the ap. If that is true with tinder then it's just a marketing ploy.

Make sure before you act because the accusation you are about to unleash may be irretrievable. 

[Marc878]

You’re 3years into a relationship. What you saw was a big red flag. Mouth shut, eyes and ears open. Verify!!!!! No blowup without a good reason. If it is true there should be signs you may have ignored or overlook. Reflect back. Phone guarding, time away, etc.

If it turns out to be true no need for a confrontation just dump and move on. She’s not really committed and keeping her options open so sooner or later she’ll monkey branch to another. Why waste time on someone like this?

You seem worried a bit about snooping but what’s worse? I wouldn’t set myself up for failure here.

Edited April 20, 2020 by Marc878

[Cookiesandough]

If you snooped and couldn't find the app on the phone, maybe she just deleted the app but didn't close the account. Do some research into whether or not you can still get alerts from tinder after the app is deleted, but the person did not close their account

[missingmybaby]

Thanks for the replies, 

Ive done some research prior to posting and i no that you cannot get notifications without having the app. Hence my issue because she was clearly getting some sort of alert meaning she had the app on her phone at the time.

Whether she has it now is another question?!

We have had ups and downs like any relationship and somewhat rocky at the end of last year. She has never given me a reason to not trust her in the past, until now of course

[SincereOnlineGuy]

What if she herself has been enlisted to help a girlfriend investigate that girlfriend's lover, on Tinder?

 

I don't have a vibe either way on this...    but be sure to cross-off all of the tangent possibilities before you explode with the accusations .

 

 

[Juha]

So you are going to confront you long term gf about Tinder without knowing if it was Tinder.

 

Man, you need to chill a little and do some recon work, have your friends help to see if she is on there or not.

You need to not snoop her phone or anything like that.  

 

You need to make sure it is what you think it is because if you confront her without definite evidence your relationship is done!

 

I wish you luck

[Marc878]

3 minutes ago, Juha said:

So you are going to confront you long term gf about Tinder without knowing if it was Tinder.

 

Man, you need to chill a little and do some recon work, have your friends help to see if she is on there or not.

You need to not snoop her phone or anything like that.  

 

You need to make sure it is what you think it is because if you confront her without definite evidence your relationship is done!

 

I wish you luck

Really? In a 3 year relationship? You’d have to be a total doormat to ignore this.

[d0nnivain]

If she doesn't have the app on her phone is there a chance you could be mistaken about what you saw?  Does any other app have a notification or a logo that looks like tinder? 

[preraph]

I found this, OP:

 

Will deleting tinder app delete matches?

As long as you don't delete your account, deleting the app won't delete any of your matches or messages.May 18, 2017

[Cookiesandough]

4 hours ago, missingmybaby said:

Thanks for the replies, 

Ive done some research prior to posting and i no that you cannot get notifications without having the app. Hence my issue because she was clearly getting some sort of alert meaning she had the app on her phone at the time.

Whether she has it now is another question?!

We have had ups and downs like any relationship and somewhat rocky at the end of last year. She has never given me a reason to not trust her in the past, until now of course

Wow then I have some bad news for you. If you trust that you saw a notification from TINDER, it means she was playing you. She was (or still is) cheating physically or emotionally, keeping her options open, or getting validation from matching and/or chatting with other dudes which Imo is another form of cheating. If you confront her, she will most likely lie about it. 

Edited April 20, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Malin889]

5 hours ago, missingmybaby said:

We have had ups and downs like any relationship and somewhat rocky at the end of last year. She has never given me a reason to not trust her in the past, until now of course

Then why did you check the app/check her phone if you always trusted her? Maybe it was a different app? It sounds like, if you were checking her phone, then you didn't trust her for some reason? I'm just guessing. What were your "ups and downs"? 

[Malin889]

I read your last post, which I'm assuming was about the same girl because it was over the summer. You wrote: 

"There has never been any adultery in the relationship however she has turned violent to me on more than one occasion when she has been drunk but it was 6 months or so ago since the last incident."

"She is lazy, negative and a bit of an attention seeker."

The post was called "Unsure How I feel about my Partner" -- if you were unsure almost a year ago, why spend another year with her? Also, if she's violent, that's not good at all.  Especially if there's kids living with you part of the time. 

I think it's time to let her go. 

[gamon]

The fact that you have such distrust for your girlfriend of 3 years doesn't bode well for the relationship.

Regardless of what might or might not be on her phone.

 

 

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

 If you confront her, she will most likely lie about it. 

And if you were mistaken about what you saw, she may well dump you over it.

The way I see it, if you are sure it was the Tinder app and she's cheating dump her.   But if you have doubt and would be sad to lose her if you are wrong, then forget about it

Edited April 21, 2020 by basil67

[assertives]

5 hours ago, basil67 said:

And if you were mistaken about what you saw, she may well dump you over it.

The way I see it, if you are sure it was the Tinder app and she's cheating dump her.   But if you have doubt and would be sad to lose her if you are wrong, then forget about it

 

6 hours ago, Malin889 said:

I read your last post, which I'm assuming was about the same girl because it was over the summer. You wrote: 

"There has never been any adultery in the relationship however she has turned violent to me on more than one occasion when she has been drunk but it was 6 months or so ago since the last incident."

"She is lazy, negative and a bit of an attention seeker."

The post was called "Unsure How I feel about my Partner" -- if you were unsure almost a year ago, why spend another year with her? Also, if she's violent, that's not good at all.  Especially if there's kids living with you part of the time. 

I think it's time to let her go. 

Or.. from the sounds of it, likely turn violent on OP regardless if he was right or wrong.

[missingmybaby]

Thanks for the replies.

To clarify its not that i dont trust her or I am an untrusting person. I have never gone through her phone during out time together untill now. Like i said it was something inside that drew me to look at her phone once i heard the ping of a different notification.

I saw a phone notification of a new match, but I obviously couldn’t see the message due to the facial recognition. 

Edited April 21, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed link

[Lorenza]

That is Tinder, but it's not a match. However, as a long term user I do know that Tinder doesn't send out noticifications without you being active recently. Also, other users won't be able to see old accounts in their feed. Her account came up in the feed, someone swiped right on it and now Tinder is trying to get her come back to find out who. But it definitely means she has recently used the app.  

[Oscar1993]

100% she must have it on her phone. Your phone would not send a notification like that if the app wasn't installed. What sort of phone does she have? An ex did something similar to me once, on android there is a way to hide apps from your home screen. Off the top of my head I can't remember how to do it BUT if you swipe right and search on her phone for the app it will still appear and you will be able to go on to it, or go to the app store and search it, if its installed it will say and you will be able to open it from there. Just be careful.

[Emilie Jolie]

You've already entered 'no going back territory', missingmybaby. 🥴Not sure how you can put the genie back in the box now.

You didn't just get a vibe; you went to the trouble of snooping, enlisted the help of a friend to bait her with a fake account and you're posting on an anonymous forum for advice on how to track invisible apps on Huawei mobile phones - I hate to tell you this, but you're too far gone down the rabbit hole; this has dysfunctional no boundaries-zone written all over it.

Also, if you already know she's going to deny it when / if you confront her, then you already don't trust her 🥴. 

Sorry missingmybaby, struggling to find a positive angle on this one

Edited April 21, 2020 by Emilie Jolie

[the tank]

create a tinder and swipe. Maybe she dont have a profil and forget to delete the app ?

[Marc878]

5 hours ago, Lorenza said:

That is Tinder, but it's not a match. However, as a long term user I do know that Tinder doesn't send out noticifications without you being active recently. Also, other users won't be able to see old accounts in their feed. Her account came up in the feed, someone swiped right on it and now Tinder is trying to get her come back to find out who. But it definitely means she has recently used the app.  

Bud, you’re 3 years in and if your info is correct she’s at the very least looking. You can’t save this. Sure I’d try and verify to make sure you’re correct but if you are I’d let this one go. Save yourself a lot of time/effort and never change the end result.

[Juha]

22 hours ago, Marc878 said:

Really? In a 3 year relationship? You’d have to be a total doormat to ignore this.

No, do not ignore this at all.  He thinks it was Tinder or is pretty sure it was Tinder.

He seems to care about this relationship, he can confront her right now.

If she does or does not have Tinder on her phone the relationship is over.

 

If he is not that enamored with his gf then confront her right now

[Mrin]

Just a heads up for everyone. I have several dating apps installed on my phone including Tinder. My profile is hidden or down on all of them. And about once a week I receive an alert or notification from Tinder. It's usually some marketing message about turning my profile back on or that there are X number of single women in my close proximity right now.