5x5 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 14 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: You are a far better person than these people. Just completely ghosted. Do you ghost the overweight, single mothers that you don't like? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 11 minutes ago, 5x5 said: Do you ghost the overweight, single mothers that you don't like? No I don't actually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 So what do you do after you go on a date, with someone you don't like, never wanted to be with, didn't find attractive, found repellant and only went on a date with them to pass your time? Which is how you have described many of the people you have gone on dates with, so I do wonder if you tell them let's be friends, or are cruel to them or something else in-between? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 Oh and I think ghosting someone especially someone you have no relationship with, is a perfectly reasonable response (amongst a myriad of options) to a date with someone that sucked. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 57 minutes ago, 5x5 said: So what do you do after you go on a date, with someone you don't like, never wanted to be with, didn't find attractive, found repellant and only went on a date with them to pass your time? Which is how you have described many of the people you have gone on dates with, so I do wonder if you tell them let's be friends, or are cruel to them or something else in-between? I usually try friend zone. Interestingly this latest one is apparently a qualified life coach which once again proves my point about these various coaches. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) 19 hours ago, nospam99 said: miranda said ''its easier for a.man to find a decent woman than it is for a woman to find a decent man '' While it might be easier for a man to FIND a decent woman, I question whether it's easier for a man to get a decent woman to meet him or for a woman to get a decent man to meet her. A lot depends on the definition of decent. I'll claim I'm a decent man: healthy, active, loyal, giving, caring, no drugs, no crimes. I'm talking OLD here because since I 'returned' to dating two and a half years ago whatever communication I've had with women in a dating context has ONLY been via OLD. Generally women don't tell me why they are not interested. However some do. NONE of them have questioned or complained about my 'decency'. The few that have 'explained' their lack of interest cite my height or my age. Those characteristics being filters is corroborated by the heights and ages that women say in their profiles that they are seeking in a man. I'm confident that whatever 'decency' I have is not dependent on my height or age. Putting 'the shoe on the other foot', I'll assume that plenty of the women who don't pass my looks filter are 'decent'. By decent I think they mean, very generally ticks all the right boxes. As in "I can't find a decent thing to wear today..." That use of the word decent. : D Not "hasn't been to prison..." Different meaning. Age is definitely one of them, this also tends to be a big thing for a fair amount of men seeking women (won't go past age X). Height is a biological thing like men desire some biological visual traits in women. You want someone who wants you. There's no sense wondering whether other people's preferences are acceptable when we each have our own, too. Edited May 23, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 11 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: I usually try friend zone. Interestingly this latest one is apparently a qualified life coach which once again proves my point about these various coaches. What did you say when you sent your face pic and what did she say after she got it? Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 20 hours ago, miranda561 said: 20 dates. 🤔 that is a lot still. I still think that men have better options and less trash to go through than women surely. I.e. its easier for a.man to find a decent woman than it is for a woman to find a decent man. Which is probably why the people i knew in the past are all either married or have someone..while im still looking. Or ive just got high standards 😂 Yeah, well most of the dates I went on I was asked, so what's a man to say? 🤷♂️ All of the dates, bar one, were reasonable. Seven of those dates resulted in a second date and three resulted in one relationship, an FWB for three months, two one night stands and finally my current relationship. I can't disagree with you that men have better options. However, I think that for most men, those options are unattainable as, like you've said, you have high standards and I believe you are far from unique in that regard. The nature of OLD causes men to get extremely frustrated. I believe it's a breeding ground for poor behavior. I'm not excusing it at all, but a lot of men lash out when they are constantly rejected. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 15 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: What did you say when you sent your face pic and what did she say after she got it? I simply sent the best face pic I have and her comment was "oh" I then tried to chat and she just didn't respond. Oh well I guess despite what she told me looks do matter more than personality Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 22 hours ago, QuietRiot said: Yep...and this is PROVEN every time I log into a dating site and seeing the same faces of said whiny women that have ignored my emails. LOL. Sometimes I'd take a year long break from the site, come back later to see the same online dating spinsters that I've already contacted. So I try to contact them again, to no avail. I think some get irritated with the same guys repeat emailing them and eventually block them. lol This prove that no man is good enough, and some of these ladies ain't that much to write home about. Women that I've dated that I met via real life...funny...they told me the tried online dating, but quickly stepped away from it after seeing the creeps on there. It wasn't their thing. All I can say, dude, is that clearly you're not what women are after and contacting them again is absolutely pointless. If a woman doesn't reply the first time, I promise you she won't reward your persistence. Just like when you send in your resume for a job when you've already been overlooked once - sending it again would be futile, at least in my experience. Just like many job adverts will state, "previous applicants need not apply", it's an unwritten rule that you'll be overlooked for the exact shortcomings you were the first time. I can say that I received plenty of rejection on OLD, but I was thankfully lucky enough to always have something on the go throughout my time and, as a result, cannot speak negatively about my personal experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 28 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: I simply sent the best face pic I have and her comment was "oh" I then tried to chat and she just didn't respond. Oh well I guess despite what she told me looks do matter more than personality Did you send the same picture you use here? Or did you smile and not squint? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 13 minutes ago, amaysngrace said: Did you send the same picture you use here? Or did you smile and not squint? Better picture than here where I did smile as much of a smile as I do. I have to say we chatted for the entire day so it wasn't like we didn't get along well. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 Maybe better to just post the good full on picture and leave them to reject you straight away instead of doing the "send me a better photo" dance. I get why some women do not want to provide masturbatory material for men, so want to keep body shot photos to a minimum, but this is your face. Why did you have a side on pic in the first place? Of course it may not have been the photo, she maybe wanted a out, so used the photo as an excuse. Get someone who knows you IRL, to look at that pic and assess it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
QuietRiot Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 3 hours ago, ZA Dater said: You are a far better person than these people. Just completely ghosted. Ghosting is easier if you're online and it's someone they've never met in person. You're like a fart in the wind to them when they turn off their computers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 33 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Maybe better to just post the good full on picture and leave them to reject you straight away instead of doing the "send me a better photo" dance. I get why some women do not want to provide masturbatory material for men, so want to keep body shot photos to a minimum, but this is your face. Why did you have a side on pic in the first place? Of course it may not have been the photo, she maybe wanted a out, so used the photo as an excuse. Get someone who knows you IRL, to look at that pic and assess it. No as someone who spent hours telling me how great the conversation was and how attractive my mind is and how she enjoyed chatting to me and how she doesn't judge people on looks and she is a life coach. See I know my face is an issue so I specifically try not to show it too much, at least then I can sometimes get decent matches, when I show it well it the same matches I do not want. Oh well I did at least have a day of good chatting and banter. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 Your face isn’t an issue. Your expression could be though. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 2 hours ago, ZA Dater said: Interestingly this latest one is apparently a qualified life coach which once again proves my point about these various coaches. What point is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 3 minutes ago, amaysngrace said: Your face isn’t an issue. Your expression could be though. Frankly I give up if it not that it's this and so on and so forth. Cannot see based on the above how a face can be so off putting after a day of texting and voice notes but there you go, looks don't matter afterall. They never matter. Apparently. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 Just now, elaine567 said: What point is that? That is a load of rubbish. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 You need to work on your self-esteem. Once you have more confidence that’s what people will see. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 1 minute ago, amaysngrace said: You need to work on your self-esteem. Once you have more confidence that’s what people will see. I had plenty of confidence and the chat was really great. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 She is a life coach, chatting is her thing. It is her livelihood, she will have the gift the gab. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 9 minutes ago, elaine567 said: She is a life coach, chatting is her thing. It is her livelihood, she will have the gift the gab. Oh well. So be it. Things like this just reinforce old ideas and realities. She wasn't even looking for a relationship which would have been ideal. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 1 minute ago, ZA Dater said: Oh well. So be it. Things like this just reinforce old ideas and realities. She wasn't even looking for a relationship which would have been ideal. Maybe not, maybe she was looking for a client... Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 What makes you say that she wasn’t looking for a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
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